Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 14 Season Finale

"Rebuked, Reunited, Renewed"

RAMONA

Ramona is doing a walk-through at the Pierre with her wedding planner, Roberta. Ramona is "over the top"excited about her renewal marriage to Mario. It's a spectacular venue. Not really my style, but it's so Ramona.

JILL & BETHENNY

Jill and Bethenny meet for lunch to talk about their friendship. Oy. They make small talk about Bethenny's pregnancy. Jill tells us that she called Bethenny to have lunch because "this fight has gone totally berserk." Oh sure, when Bethenny called you to talk about how crazy things have gotten, you told her that you got a hobby and were over it. Now that she's over you, it's time to talk? Ugh. I hope Bethenny kicks Jill's ass to the curb.

Jill starts by apologizing for rejecting Bethenny when she tried to reach out to her at Ramona's house a few weeks (months) back. It's a good strategy. If you want to mend a friendship, it helps to start with an apology. Bethenny is still very hurt by what has happened. Jill missed all the major milestones in Bethenny's life because she was selfish and stubborn. This whole mess is really all Jill's fault. If Jill felt that Bethenny snubbed her and Bobby when he was going through his cancer ordeal and was offended by the "get a hobby" comment, she should have called Bethenny out on it and had it out then. By talking shit about Bethenny for months and getting reinforcement from Luann, it escalated and became bigger than it needed to be. In the process, she totally missed being there for Bethenny when she fell in love, got pregnant, got engaged and lost her dad. I'm all about forgiveness, but I'm not sure a friendship can recover from that.

Bethenny essentially tells her that Alex and Ramona (who knew?) were the ones who stepped up for her and that she doesn't know that she can repair this relationship because she feels so damaged by it. This conversation seems super dramatic, but I think it's because Bethenny is still angry and hurt. Now Jill's ready and Bethenny isn't. Jill starts to cry and tell Bethenny that she only wants the best for her even if they can't be friends. She also LIES and says that she NEVER gossips about Bethenny. Whatever. Of course, Jill tells us that "there's no reason for her to cut me out. No reason." I wish Jill could actually take some responsibility for real instead of just "saying" it to Bethenny. She's so completely self absorbed. How did this happen? I used to love Jill. She used to be my favorite on this show. And, I used not really like Bethenny. But now, I can't stand Jill and I really like Bethenny. Weird.

In the middle of a serious moment where Jill asks where they go from here, she tells Bethenny that she made potato latkas for her. WTF? Hello awkward transition. Jill says that her relationships with all the housewives have gotten so bad and she asks how this happened. I think she meant it as a rhetorical question, but Bethenny takes the opportunity to TELL her how it happened. Jill cries and disagrees. Then she says that she needs to remove toxic people from her life, including Alex. Bethenny thinks it's ridiculous that Jill thinks Alex is toxic. I think it's kind of funny, too. I think Luann and Kelly are the toxic ones. They are all so delusional about themselves. Jill and Bethenny say good bye and agree to meet again for lunch after the holidays.

LUANN

Why is it that all the trannies on this series always record a song? Jo started it on Real Housewives of the OC. Then Kim did it on Atlanta. Now, it's Luann on NYC and I hear Danielle is getting ready to record on NJ. Jo isn't a real tranny, but after her, it's been trannies all the way. Kim, Luann and Danielle. UGH.

It's time for Luann to humiliate herself at her launch party. Jill comes in with Bobby. Then, the music producer comes in with about 20 young "playmates" (??). It was very bizarre. I guess he wanted to make sure she had an audience. Ha. Luann tells Jill and Chris (music producer) that Jacques is coming. Apparently he's her new bf and he's French. Sonja arrives and asks Luann if Cord is going to be there. Luann tells her that Cord is out and Jacques is in. Luann explains to Sonja that something just "clicked" with her and the "European" and (I'm sure) super wealthy Jacques. I think what "clicked" was his wallet.

Jacques arrives and greets Luann. She really likes the short men. She brings him over to the girls so they can judge...er...meet him. Ok, I need to comment on Luann's outfit. It looks fine, but it's so 2000. I say this because my friend had animal print fancy pants like Luann's in 2000 that she would wear out with a black top. I didn't realize this look had come back in style after only 10 years of being "out" but I could be wrong.

Oh look!!! The new (fired) housewife, Jennifer, is there trying to be relevant. Glaringly absent from the party are Alex, Ramona and Bethenny (although, I understand why Bethenny isn't there). Oh dear, it's time for the singing. Luann comes out in her tranny voice and introduces herself and sings. It doesn't disappoint. All the housewives are dancing like the cougars they are. That song is so heavily produced. Oh no...the rap is out of control. I'm...I'm...actually speechless. Money can't buy you class or a singing voice.

Jill and Kelly have an intellectual conversation after the performance about elegance and how it has to be learned and doesn't just come with being rich. And Jill is actually serious when she says this to Kelly. Are you kidding me?

Sonja asks who is going to Ramona's wedding. Jill says she's not sure. Luann tells her that she'd be upset if someone kicked me out of their house. And then Sonja says she'd be upset if someone showed up without calling. Jill and Luann say that Jill was invited. Sonja corrects them and says she was invited for 5 days, not for ONE. Sonja is finally speaking up. She's always so neutral. Good for her. Luann and Jennifer start interrupting Sonja and she finally tells them to STFU. She says that no one but Kelly was there and when Kelly left, the rest of the girls were finally able to get some peace and quiet (ZING!). So Sonja says that Jill's surprise appearance just shocked everyone and was not the greatest idea - particularly since Jill knew that there had been so much Kelly drama.

BETHENNY

They are packing up her place in the Upper East Side to move in with Jason in Soho. Every couple goes through the blending of homes arguments where the guy wants to display something totally stupid and ugly and the girl won't allow it. In this case, Jason wants a basketball signed by the globetrotters to be "on display" in their new place, but wants Bethenny to get rid of some of her 15 jars. Bethenny argues that her jars "contain stuff" and can be used for many things. Jason correctly notes that all 15 are EMPTY. AHAHA! Then he sees a box of stemless wine glasses. He says that he has some of his own that he can bring and Bethenny asks him if his are Riedel glasses. He says no and she says "then don't bring them." HAHA!

They are moving downtown which is something she's been dying to do for a long time. It's so exciting to move in with someone!! I'm really happy for her.

RAMONA

Ramona and Avery get their hair done at Oscar Blandi for the wedding/renewal thing. I love Avery. Ramona is trying to have a conversation with Avery while she gets her hair washed and Avery tells her that she can't hear her. So Ramona moves closer and keeps talking. Avery asks Ramona if she's going to cry. Avery tells her to be strong. Ramona asks if Avery will cry and Avery says "Why would I cry?" HA.

After the hair is done, they head to the Pierre to get their make up done and get dressed for the main event. Ramona freaks out while she's getting her make up done because she can't find her speech/vows. She finally finds it as Jill arrives at the door to surprise her. It's a good surprise this time and they hug it out. Ramona gives Jill some really good advice that I think everyone should really think about. She tells her to think about where others are coming from and not just your own perspective.

All the ladies arrive and compliment each other. Bethenny's dress has pheasant feathers on it and she's worried what the PETA people will say. I wouldn't worry because you don't have to kill birds to get their feathers, but knowing PETA, they'll find something wrong with it. Kelly looks super awkward in her strapless dress and says that she's not used to dressing sexy. Um, except for the fact that every other dress you own barely covers your ass. WTF?

They all talk about how the Bethenny/Jill drama is "resolved" and then Kelly blurts out that she forgot to RSVP to the wedding. Um, what? It's a wedding (sort of). You can't NOT RSVP and then show up.

Ramona is so cute. I really like her. She is standing next to Avery in the mirror and she starts to tear up at how beautiful her daughter has become. It's very sweet.

Jill and Jennifer get into catty mode. Jill bitches that there's no food and they've been waiting for an hour and Jennifer says she would never serve champagne before the ceremony. Jeez. The event planner shows up to seat Jill, Jennifer and Kelly and Jennifer immediately turns to Kelly and says "Would you hire that woman to plan your party?" Wow. I guess they told her she wasn't going to be a housewife afterall and she decided to bring out the claws.

Avery is bitching that she can't carry the dog down the stairs AND her flowers. OMG. The dog? Seriously? WTF? People are weird. WTF is the dog doing in the ceremony with a blue satin dress on. TACKY.

The ceremony is beautiful and fun, which is awesome. I could tell by the look on Luann's face that she did not approve of the jokes or the informal nature of the ceremony. It was a great ceremony and the vows were so sincere and beautiful.

Ok, Kelly is CHEAP. She shows up to the renewal/wedding without an RSVP and the gift she brings Ramona is a photo album filled with pictures Kelly took on the girls' vacation. Seriously? You have a shitload of $$ and this is what you give?

Bethenny takes the opportunity to get emotional and thank Ramona and Alex for being such great friends to her. Ramona asks Luann to get the party started with her song. OY.

It was a great season ladies!! Here is what is happening with the ladies now:

LUANN: Luann found a pied-a-tierre in the city. She's still seeing Jacques and she is about to release her second single "Chic C'est La Vie" (Life is Chic). [insert eye roll here.]

RAMONA: After renewing her vows, Ramona skipped a second honeymoon and headed off to Kenya for a renewing all-girls safari. Mario and Avery enjoyed a quiet three weeks. :)

SONJA: Sonja is continuing to write a "sexy society" novel she's had in the works since her divorce. (i.e. nothing is going on with her).

KELLY: Kelly remains committed to a life full of lollipops, unicorns and rainbows ... and spends much of her time being charitable. (she's also got nothing going on).

ALEX: Alex is taking her new attitude on the road to promote her new parenting book. And if you don't like it, too bad!

JILL: Jill misses her friendship with Bethenny and hopes they'll be close again. Bobby is healthy and Aly heads off to college in the fall.

BETHENNY: Bethenny got married, had a baby and she's sharing it all on her new show "Bethenny Getting Married?"

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 13

"Shunburn"

RAMONA

Kelly left a note for Ramona and went back to NY. Everyone else is relieved that she's gone. They all talk about the fact that Krazy has lost her marbles. So they have all turned a corner and hope that Krazy gets the help she needs.

The ladies are all getting massages and relaxing. Sonja arranged for them to get mani/pedis - it was her gift to Ramona. They are all talking about how relaxed they are. Ramona says that she feels so loved by them. And then ... SUR-PPRRRISSSEEE!!! It's Jill and Bobby. Everyone is shocked and speechless ... and not in a good way. This was not the reception Jill was expecting. She's burned bridges with Alex and Bethenny and then refused to come on the trip which upset Ramona, but she expected them to welcome her with open arms?? Is she kidding? Jill sees that no one is happy to see her and she storms off. Ramona goes out to talk to her and tells her that Jill shocked her. They've had a very drama filled trip so far and Jill's appearance just sent shock waves through everyone. Jill brats that she thought Ramona was her friend. OMG. Seriously, get a hobby and get out of high school already.

She and Bobby leave and the girls go back to relaxing. Jill is overly dramatic and feels hurt by this whole thing. She did this to herself. She knew things were heated and dramatic but she insisted on showing up. OY VEY!

The ladies enjoy their last stress-free night on vacation. The tension is gone and they have a great time. They are eating and all of sudden Ramona chokes. Everyone gets nervous - I know my best friend, Rachel, would have freaked out. She HATES choking.

Alex and Sonja surprises Ramona AND Bethenny with a bridal shower. They give them all these really fancy sex toys (handcuffs, etc.) with crystals. High end sex toys. I like it!

JILL, LUANN and JENNIFER (the new housewife?)

The three of them are having lunch and Kelly comes to join them. Btw - Jennifer is supposed to be the "new housewife" but since she's normal and not full of drama, she hasn't been filmed at all. In fact, I'm hearing that she won't even be at the reunion show. What could she possibly have to contribute? I think she's a cool person, but Bravo needs dramatic, self-absorbed bitches for its series. Not a normal, well-balanced woman. Sorry, Jen!

Anyhow, Jill has just returned from St. Bart's and she's ready for some gossip. They start with Jill getting "kicked out" by Ramona. Luann says that it was horrible, BUT...she understands why Ramona did it. Jill is trying to understand. Jill tells Jennifer that Kelly had a nervous breakdown on the trip. Krazy arrives and they ask her what happened.

Krazy says that from the beginning of the trip it was all gossip, talking shit and "one-upping" each other. I agree with the gossip, but no one was talking shit and "one-upping"? WTF? Was she on a different yacht? Then Kelly says that she was trying to talk to Bethenny human-to-human about how she's trying to find true love and Bethenny told her to have a one night stand. Actually, that was Sonja. Bethenny didn't say that. Then Krazy tells them that she called Bethenny a "ho-bag" which completely offends the Countess because that word is not even in her vocabulary. Luann is actually pretty neutral at this lunch. She's responding to Krazy's story with logical explanations for why people said what they did to her. Like the "one night stand" comment - Luann says that Bethenny must have thought that Krazy was just looking for lovin', not love. Logical.

Anyhow, Krazy continues on her tirade. She tells them about her cook/chef fight with Bethenny and says that she doesn't know anyone who has hired her. Jennifer, Luann and Jill all back up Bethenny on this one and say that they have lots of friends who have hired her and that she's well-regarded. HAHA!! Kelly clearly isn't getting the support and reaction out of these ladies that she wants, so she ups the ante. She tells them that Bethenny TOLD HER "I went out of my way to have a smear campaign against you" which Krazy says is what made her flip. That is a bold-faced lie right there. Bethenny never said that. Now the other ladies are skeptical. They are confused and not understanding her. Then she starts talking about jelly beans. WTF? Insane in the membrane!

SONJA

Sonja is having an art show at her house. She hosts a young, emerging artist and all the ladies are invited. The only ones missing are Krazy and Jill. Luann wants to hear from the ladies what happened on "Poison Island" so they all go upstairs to dish. Alex and Bethenny tell Luann and Jennifer that Kelly lost it on the trip. By the end, they felt nothing but compassion for her and hoped she would have returned to NYC and checked herself in somewhere. Luann seems to believe Bethenny and Alex.

JILL

It's Jill's Christmas party!! Jill talks to her sister about meeting up with Bethenny. Jill feels that shutting Bethenny down when she reached out was wrong and her sister, Lisa agrees. Jill calls Bethenny and asks her to meet up for lunch the next day and Bethenny agrees.

Next up...Jill on the ice. She comes out in a skating dress to do her performance. She immediately falls on her face. AHAHAHA! Then she does her turns and performs. Wow. Classic narcissist. Unbelievable. No shame. WOW.

Ramona arrives and she and Jill bury the hatchet and forgive each other and move on. Kelly approaches Ramona and says that she wants to talk to her IMMEDIATELY. It can't wait. Krazy says that Ramona never had her back on the trip. She tells Ramona to be accountable. Ramona tells Krazy that she lost it and doesn't remember what happened on the trip. Ramona asks her to get help. Then she apologizes that Krazy is upset and they hug it out. Yikes.

See you next week for the FINALE!!

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 12

"Sun, Sand & Psychosis"

RAMONA

The ladies are rehashing the previous night's events on the Hooter's boat. Apparently, Ramona walked up to a Hooter's girl and told her that she needed to go to college. HA! The conversation moves to Bethenny and Kelly's argument and Kelly calls Bethenny a "cook" again and says that she's not a "chef." Bethenny asks Kelly to define a "chef" for her. Kelly says that a chef works in a restaurant or is hired as one - like those on the yacht. Bethenny says that she's been hired as a chef and Kelly says she has no idea what Bethenny does. So Bethenny, rightly so, tells her not to say anything if she doesn't know what the F*** she is talking about! Kelly still keeps talking and Bethenny finally tells her to stop. Everyone at the table sees that Kelly is the one who started the attack and tells her to stop. Kelly doesn't know what's going on (as usual) and Bethenny tells Kelly that no one understands what she's saying. Kelly: "Ok. Satchels of gold." WTF? Just then Alex breaks the awkwardness and tells Bethenny that Simon is making chocolate waffles for the boys and asks Bethenny's advice about adding more cocoa. Kelly mocks "Great timing" and Bethenny gets up and walks over to the couch. She's had it. It's too much stress and drama for her.

Ramona is super excited to show the girls their next stop. They are leaving the yacht and staying in a huge home on the island. It's absolutely breathtaking. The house is amazing.

Bethenny put together "gift bags" for everyone with their initials on the bag and a bunch of beach stuff in it. It was a thoughtful gesture. Of course, Kelly thinks it's creepy and doesn't understand why Bethenny would give her this bag. Kelly bitches that it's impersonal because the bag is a Skinny Girl bag and has some of Bethenny's products in it. Jeez. It's a free gift bag. Just be grateful and STFU! Kelly starts to break down. She cries and calls Jill and tells her it "creeps her out" that Bethenny's dad died and she's on the trip. And, she says that she's been having nightmares that Bethenny is trying to kill her. OMG. DRAMA. Kelly is seriously losing her mind. Wow. Mental break. Even Jill is wondering what is going on because she can't understand Kelly.

The next morning, Bethenny is cooking some breakfast. Kelly comes into the kitchen and brings a pad of paper. She tells them that it's better to write down complaints rather than talk about them. Good Lord. Kelly announces that she wants to take everyone's picture on the beach and do a mini photo shoot. Kelly is into photography now - even though she doesn't know how to use a camera. Bethenny decides to hang back and relax by herself. I'd don't blame her. These bitches are WHACK!

THE PHOTO SHOOT ON THE BEACH

Kelly is taking pictures and she is all about criticizing Alex. Although, in Kelly's defense, Alex does look a little weird. She's so serious. This whole thing is weird. And Kelly yelling "Johann face, Alex. Baby face." was a little much.

JILL

Jill is in a skating dress and she's practicing ice skating with Johnny Weir. One of the coaches starts yelling at Jill because there are professional ice skaters trying to practice and she's got her amateur ass all over the ice. HAHA!!

Jill and Luann have lunch and Jill tells her about Kelly calling her like a crazy woman. They both warned her not to go. Jill says that she would never go somewhere she wasn't welcome. Famous last words. She tells Luann that she found out that the girls are coming back from their trip on Tuesday and she's going to St. Bart's on Monday. So she's thinking of surprising Ramona on Monday before heading to St. Bart's. Luann thinks it's a bad idea since they aren't expecting her. Jill isn't hearing it and decides to go for it. BAD IDEA. Luann says she won't go rescue Jill if she needs it! :)

BETHENNY

Bethenny's gift to Ramona is a dinner for everyone. She's busy cooking in the kitchen while the ladies are outside enjoying cocktails. Kelly gets a call from her daughters and is yapping in front of everyone. Ramona asks her to talk in the house and move away from the group. Kelly takes it as an attack on her daughters and goes batshit again. Wow.

They have cocktails and appetizers. Bethenny goes into the kitchen to prepare the food and tells her staff that it's more fun in the kitchen that out there with Krazy! Krazy says she doesn't want to sit across from Bethenny and she overhears and tells Krazy that she doesn't need to do anything she doesn't want to do. Sonja tells Krazy not to be paranoid.

Bethenny brings out salad with crabcakes. Of course, Krazy doesn't like the crabcakes and says that Bethenny's food is not really that good. BUT she likes the salad dressing and tells us that Bethenny could be like Paul Newman and make dressing. OY VEY! Ramona doesn't want Bethenny to know that someone didn't eat her food, so Sonja eats Krazy's crabcake. Steak comes out next and Kelly's has a string in it. So, Bethenny takes it back to the kitchen and gets her another piece of steak. They sit and eat and Sonja compliments Bethenny on the 5 star meal. She says that she knows food because she used to have a 5 star chef on her boat. Krazy leans over and says "we know about your past." WTF?? Krazy took some serious crazy pills before dinner. She is on fire.

Ramona comments that she hasn't heard from Jill this whole trip and Krazy says that all Jill has asked about is Bethenny. Krazy just keeps going and lashing out at everyone. They all get quiet and Ramona says that she and Bethenny had an altercation on the Brooklyn Bridge and she wants to talk to Bethenny about it. Krazy can't keep her trap shut, so she asks if Ramona is going to "make out with tongue" with Bethenny. Seriously, WTF?? Ramona gives Krazy a time out and tells her to shut up. Krazy just keeps saying "You made Bethenny cry" over and over. Ramona takes Bethenny inside and Krazy says "Yeah, you guys go have an intimate moment." She and Spencer Pratt need their own show.

Bethenny feels vindicated for everything she's ever said about Krazy. Sonja and Alex are trying to calm Krazy down and she's just not getting it. They explain that Ramona and Bethenny are just talking about their issues and feelings and Krazy rolls her eyes and says that this is "too 1979" for her because they are talking about feelings again. Krazy tells Alex that she needs to relax more and Alex admits that she was nervous about getting in front of the camera for Krazy earlier that afternoon. Krazy laughs and says that Alex is having nightmares about her while she's having nightmares about Bethenny. Alex tells her to take it down a notch with the drama and that she was NOT having "nightmares" about anyone. She was just a little nervous. OMG. Krazy really goes nuts here and says that she threw up the night before she came because she's been having nightmares about Bethenny killing her because she's tried to kill Krazy so many times before. WTF?? I wish there was something bigger than "all caps" to stress how FUCKING BIZARRE this whole thing is. Alex asks when these attempted murders occurred and Krazy does the sign of the cross and starts to cry a little. OMG. She and Spencer Pratt need straight jackets and FAST!

Bethenny comes back and sits down and asks what's going on and Sonja says that it's hard to follow the conversation and points at Krazy. Krazy says that Alex is possessed and gives the example from Ramona's party when she delivered her "message" to Jill. Then she tells Alex to "zip it" which she's been saying to people all night. So Bethenny gives Krazy her full attention and she describes the situation that night while Ramona stands behind her gesturing at how loco Krazy is. Alex, Bethenny and Ramona go inside and Sonja is upset that she got left outside to deal with Krazy.

Sonja was trying to talk sense into Krazy. It's no use. Krazy goes on a tirade to Sonja about how Bethenny allegedly goes after her EVERY DAY in the press and tries to defame her and her kids. Ok, I read A LOT of celebrity gossip on a daily basis. Just to give you a small indication, after I check my email in the morning, I read perezhilton.com, people.com, eonline.com, thesuperficial.com, gawker.com, and ew.com (entertainment weekly).... to name a few. I also check these sites periodically throughout the day. I have not read things about Kelly on a daily basis and I've never read anything about her children. She's delusional...no one cares about you Krazy!!

Krazy asks Sonja how she can just sit there with Bethenny after she called Sonja a hooker (it was a joke. Sonja said she used to work in a restaurant and Bethenny asked if she was a hooker). Sonja tries to explain to Krazy what a joke is, but Krazy can't follow. The others walk back out to join the lunacy.

Bethenny tells Krazy that she wants to hear the truth from her. Then she mocks "you can't handle the truth" and Krazy doesn't get the reference. Krazy: "Oh my god. AL SHARPTON. AL SHARPTON!!! Put your hair up!! It's Al Sharpton!" No you dingbat - it's Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men. Who doesn't know that? And what the hell is up with Al Sharpton??? WTF? Now the other girls are getting concerned. It's no longer a joke that Kelly is crazy. They seriously think that she's having some sort of breakdown and that there is something really wrong with her. She's not making any sense and the mood turns from "OMG, she's crazy" to "ok, she's really losing it and I'm worried." Kelly excuses herself from the table. On her way out, she asks why Bethenny attacked her friend, Gwyneth, in the paper. You know, her "friend," Gwyneth Paltrow?? Wow. DELUSIONAL and PARANOID. If I cared, I'd try to diagnose her but I'm content to just call her Krazy for now.

Two minutes later, Krazy walks back out asking if anyone wants a jelly bean or lollipop. Bethenny tells Krazy that they are all worried about her because she's crazy. Krazy just responds that she doesn't like Bethenny and that she thinks it's creepy that Bethenny's dad died and she's on the trip. Kelly tells Bethenny that she threw up because she thinks Bethenny is trying to kill her. So Bethenny yells at her to go to sleep because she's CRAZY. Sonja tells Bethenny not to be mean to her because she actually is crazy and they have to stop picking on her. The situation turns sad and Alex says that they all have to stop because there's a real problem. Everyone backs off. Bethenny actually does a good job of diffusing the situation. She tells Krazy that she doesn't want to ruin her life or talk about her in the press and she's not attacking her. Kelly says thank you and seems to relax for the night. HOLY KRAZY LADY!!!

See you next week.

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 10

"Leap Before You Look"

LUANN

It's the Cocktails & Couture event at Sonja's house that Luann is hosting and the ladies are getting ready. Alex arrives and Luann confronts her about the "message." Luann tells her that delivering Jill the message in front of everyone was really heartless. She leads Alex outside and asks her why she did that. Alex tells her that she made a promise and needed to deliver the message. Luann asks "Who made you God?" with a snicker. Alex says that it had nothing to do with God. Luann tells Alex that she was surprised because Alex isn't usually a mean person. Luann was upset that Alex didn't bother to apologize to Jill after the fact. She finally gives up and goes in to talk to her other guests.

Sonja makes an entrance about 10 minutes after the party starts. She tells us that this is very typical of her. She likes to make an entrance, people! Jill and Kelly ("HI-EE") show up and give their goods to Luann. Kelly starts playing with Sonja's dog while Luann is filling Jill in on her conversation with Alex. Kelly joins the conversation and wants to know what's going on. Meanwhile, Sonja tells Alex that she's glad she came and that women always have their dramas. "Besides, who wants a boring party?" Exactly.

Jill whines to Luann that she has had a really tough two days and doesn't want to cry again. Oh, poor Jill. She spent the entire first half of the season ignoring and bad mouthing Bethenny and now that Bethenny decides she's over the abuse and drama, Jill is crying "Poor me." Whatever. Anyhow, Jill and Kelly go into the party and say hi to Sonja - who is talking to Alex. Kelly greets Alex and then Jill and Alex say hello to one another. It's all very civil. Luann had told Jill that she told Alex that she's the hostess of this event, so she needs Alex to fix things with Jill. Um, when did she say that? Dumb. So now Jill is expecting some big gesture from Alex. Don't hold your breath, Jill.

Jill's BFF and the new housewife, Jennifer Gilbert, shows up and Jill very excitedly introduces her around. Bobby walks outside and pulls Alex aside to talk to her. He basically tells her that Jill was very hurt by what she had done and that Jill is very strong and rarely cries. But this really made her cry and it was so out of character for Alex. Alex tells him that there's nothing she can say to Bobby and that she really just needs to talk to Jill. I mean, I get that it was not a nice thing to say, but this is getting ridiculous.

Jill is a trainwreck. For someone who rarely cries, Jill is really letting out the waterworks this season. She's sitting with Kelly ("HI-EE") and tells her that so much has happened in Bethenny's life and she's not a part of it: the engagement, the baby, etc. Jill tells Kelly that she's so sorry for what happened the last two months and then breaks down and cries. Again, poor Jill. Jill says that they are fighting over bullshit...which, by the way, is exactly what Bethenny has been saying this WHOLE TIME. Jill says that the only time they talked, she felt ambushed and wasn't ready to make-up and now Bethenny has decided she's over it and Jill is regretting being such a selfish bitch for the last two months. Too bad, so sad. NOW, Jill wants to be there for Bethenny, but she feels like the message made it so final. Kelly tells Jill that it was Alex's delivery that made it seem that way, but it's probably not. Jill, being the drama queen that she is, says that she HATES Alex and that she'll never forgive her for this. OY VEY!!

Alex tries to get Jill's attention and Jill tells her that she has nothing left to say to or hear from Alex. So Alex confirms that Jill doesn't want to talk to her. Alex basically tells us that over the last three years, they've had multiple altercations and everytime Alex wants to apologize, Jill shuts her down. But Alex always lets Jill apologize to her. Alex says she did it again and she doesn't think she and Jill will recover from this one ... and she's ok with it. I agree that Alex made a mistake delivering the message in front of everyone the way she did it. But Jill is so GD dramatic. Get over yourself, Jill. Jeez. Jill blows EVERYTHING out of proportion. First, the WORST THING anyone could ever say to her is "Get a hobby." (Which is so stupid and not even that big of a deal). Now, it's Alex who is the worst person in the world. Annoying.

BETHENNY

When Bethenny went to LA a few weeks ago, her dad refused to see her. This week, her dad called and said that he wants to see her. So Bethenny and Jason get on the next flight to LA. They are on the way to the airport and Bethenny is really emotional. She decides to call Ramona since she recently went through a similar thing with her own dad.

Ramona is great to Bethenny. She starts to get emotional and tells Bethenny that she's doing the right thing by going to see her dad. Bethenny needs closure and this is the best way to get it. She tells Bethenny that all these wonderful things are happening in her life and, in order for her to be where she needs to be emotionally, she needs to resolve things with her dad. Bethenny says that she's just sad and she's going to relax a bit before getting to the airport and just wanted to call Ramona. Ramona tells her that no matter what happens, this is a good thing for Bethenny and that she needs to just think positive. I love Ramona.

KELLY

Gotham magazine is throwing a party for Kelly and all the trendsetters she met/interviewed on the street. Jill and Jennifer are there when she walks in a greets them (HI-EE). Simon and Alex arrive and, before they go in, Alex tells Simon she doesn't want to see Jill and that he has to be her "wing man" and make sure that she doesn't speak to her. Luann arrives with her "friend", Cord, who looks like the poor woman's Rod Stewart complete with spikey, blonde hair. Simon walks in and sits right next to Jill - so much for being a "wing man" for Alex. Luann takes her "friend," Cord, to the bar and flirts with him. Ew. She tells him about her "song." He suggests they go out and she's totally game. I think he may be significantly shorter than her.

Kelly gets on a table to thank everyone for coming. Her dress is so short and tight, she needs extra help to get her on and off that table. Alex is sitting next to Jennifer and Jill leans over to say hello to Alex and kiss her on the cheek. At that point, Alex gets up and decides to leave. She can't handle all the fake and hypocritical stuff. Then Jill tells her she's having a great hair day and Alex just says she's done and walks away. Jennifer announces that she's never met any group of women with so many "fucking issues." Then, she says "Ok, whoever Luann's date is...he's got bad hair and he's gay." OMG. Jennifer is totally in the running to be my favorite housewife. HAHA!!

RAMONA

Some designer, Kimberly Towers, comes over to Ramona's apartment. Kimberly is entirely too excited to see Ramona. She's crazy. She brought a bunch of dresses for Ramona to check out for her vow renewal ceremony with Mario. Ramona tries on a beautiful strapless dress and starts getting emotional. Ok, the dress is really lovely ... until you get to the knees. From the knees down, there are weird feathers randomly stuck on the dress. Why? Not ok. She decides to get Avery's opinion. Avery says it best "It's very simple, plain and then BANG! Feathers?" HAHA. I love that girl. The upper part of the dress is beautiful and very flattering. I'm not a fan of the strapless dress - particularly on women with big boobs, like me - but Ramona has a great figure for that dress. Avery is not on board with the whole ceremony.

Ramona tries to explain to Avery the importance of the renewal and how much she and Mario love each other, yada, yada, yada. Avery says she gets it, but she just thinks it's ridiculous. She's just not into the whole concept of the second wedding. I actually agree with her. It is a little ridiculous. Ramona told the designer that Avery looked good in blue, so all the fabric choices the designer has are blue. Avery says that she's not sure she wants a blue dress. In fact, she may want black, but doesn't know if you can wear black to a "second wedding, renewal ceremony, whatever this is." HA. The designer finds some jewels to bedazzle down the back of the dress and Avery says that she doesn't want to look a like a crystal ball. I love that girl.

LUANN

Luann brings Kelly, Jill and Sonja to a Chopra center so they can do yoga and meditate with her. Luann shares her experience with depression after she filed for divorce. Sonja and Kelly understand and can relate to those feelings of depression and anxiety, both having been divorced as well. They all bond and then the women come out to do their treatments.

BETHENNY

Bethenny and Jason are in LA. She has seen her father and feels like she's gotten the closure and validation from her father that she really needed. It's an emotional trip and she feels sad that her father is suffering. She's now ready to move on with her life and be happy.

JILL

Kelly and Jill are having a drink and Kelly tells her that, instead of bringing Sonja flowers for hosting the event at her house, Kelly brought her a cleanse. Meaning, a series of packets for her to mix with water and drink for several days to "cleanse" her system. Jill tells Kelly never to get her that, she'll take the flowers. O.M.G. Jill has turned into my old boss. She interrupts Kelly to tell her that she says "like" too much and she needs to stop because people won't take her seriously. OH...THAT'S why people aren't going to take Kelly seriously. Anyhow, as Kelly finishes her story, Jill interrupts her each time she says "like." ANNOYING.

RAMONA

Sonja, Jill and Ramona have lunch at the Four Seasons so Ramona can invite them on her "all girls" trip before renewing her vows with Mario. I guess it's like a bachelorette party for someone who is renewing vows. Ramona tells the girls about her "girls trip" to the Virgin Islands and tells them that she's inviting several people, but it's really important for Sonja and Jill to be there. Jill interviews that 17 years is not a milestone although being married to Ramona makes everyday a milestone. Because it's always about HER, Jill wants to know who is going to be invited. Ramona reminds them that they are all adults and that she needs Jill to be there. She also tells Jill that she's there for her whenever Jill needs her so she needs Jill to be there for her this time. Jill interviews that she never promised she would go, she merely said that she would try to be there. Hmmm.

JENNIFER

Jennifer invites some of the girls over to her apartment for a cocktail party. Jill and Kelly arrive followed by Luann and Ramona. Ramona tells the girls that she has some sad news. Bethenny's dad passed away at 2AM that morning. Jill goes nuts and starts yelling at Ramona for not telling her that Bethenny's dad was really sick. Ramona defends her decision and tells Jill that if Bethenny wanted Jill to know, she would have told her. Jill just keeps yelling and yelling at Ramona. I think this is Jill's way of picking a fight with Ramona so she'll have an excuse for not going to the girls' weekend. OMG. Jill is such a freakin' DRAMA QUEEN. She tells Ramona that she's not her friend and then storms off. Luann, of course, tells Ramona that she should have said something to Jill. Kelly runs after Jill and follows her into a closet or pantry. Jill cries...again. Sonja shows up in a ridiculous hat. Jennifer drags Jill and Kelly out of her pantry. Ramona tells Jill that she wasn't trying to hurt her and hugs Jill. I swear Jill might be my least favorite person this season...followed closely by Luann and Kelly.

Alex shows up and tells Jill that she got her text message and then says "how could you?" Alex says that Jill tried to gossip about Bethenny's dad dying. Then she reminds us that she tried to tell Jill about Bethenny's dad being ill. Alex takes the opportunity to get in Jill's face and tell her what's on her mind. Jill is so disrespectful. She interrupts and is totally rude. Jill finally says that they can't be friends and they just won't be in the same social circles. Alex gets up and leaves. She interviews that she wanted Jill to listen to her and she wasn't listening, so she left. Jill is so smug. It's really annoying.

Until next time.

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 9

"Stay on Message"

BETHENNY

Bethenny is sitting with her assistant, Julie, and discovers that Perez Hilton (!!) has announced her pregnancy. How did he KNOW?!?! Bethenny freaks out and by that I mean she repeats everything she says twice. "What am I going to do? What am I going to do? ... How does he know? How does he know? ... This is like beyond. This is like beyond. This is cruel. Like this is cruel." I love Bethenny, but this was kind of amusing. I understand her frustration, though. Particularly at her age, you need to wait until AT LEAST 3 months before letting that information out. Anything could happen. She calls Jason and cryptically tells him to come over as soon as he can. She knows he's going to flip out because he wanted to wait 3 months and take his parents to dinner and tell them.

LUANN

Luann and her obnoxious Burberry wool coat go to Sonja's house to check it out for the cocktail party Luann is throwing on Thursday. By the way, Sonja is pronounced "Sahnya" for those of you who aren't as pretentious as Luann and might not know that. Sonja, being equally as pretentious as Luann, tells Luann (and the cameras) - no less than 3 times - that she is on her own and it's the maid's day off. She's holding two coffee cups but confesses that she went out and bought the coffee because she doesn't have "help" today. Seriously? Are you that dependent and inept that you can't even make coffee without "help"? I don't drink coffee, so I don't even own a coffee maker. I may actually go out and get coffee for a friend who does drink it, but it would be in a Starbuck's cup.

They go out into the garden which Sonja has made more casual. The housekeeper isn't here today - AGAIN - so there are dog poops everywhere. Gross. Luann takes this opportunity to speak French unnecessarily. Jill calls and Luann picks up and puts her on speaker phone. Luann asks Jill to invite some friends for the cocktail party and Jill tells her to send her an Evite that she can forward onto people. Luann says she sent an Evite and Jill says that she could tell Luann didn't put much thought into it. HA.

Jill tells Luann and SAHNya that she just got a Google Alert telling her that Bethenny is pregnant. Luann and Sonja proceed to have a conversation about Google Alerts. Then they start talking about all the clues that Bethenny was pregnant: the little pooch, her huge boobs, the bitchiness. Jill says that Luann and Sonja are out-yenta-ing her by talking so much. Jill assumes that Bethenny is the one who leaked the pregnancy and now Jill is concerned that she has leaked it too early. Why would Bethenny leak this?? Dumb.

Jill says that it's too early to say anything. Then they talk about her little pooch that had never been there before. Sonja brings it back to her and how she always has a pooch, so she would never ask Bethenny if she was pregnant. Luann informs them that "one never asks" because it's not proper. Then Luann and Sonya talk about how Bethenny blocked Luann from Twitter. OH GOOD LORD. Jill says that OBVIOUSLY she got engaged just because she's pregnant. These women really have nothing better to do. They all need hobbies.

BETHENNY

Jason comes over and she tells him that her pregnancy is all over the internet. Jason is so sweet and cute. He wanted to tell his parents in person and see them hug and hold her, but now he can't do that. Bethenny tells him to ask his parents to come to the city tonight. Jason says that he's not going to inconvenience them. He tells her not to yell at him and that he's entitled to feel angry. Bethenny is afraid that Jason won't want to be with her anymore because her life is so public. He reassures her and just explains that it's a shock. It's a lot to take in. He's a really great guy.

JILL

Jill meets with Jennifer Gilbert, President of Save the Date which I'm guessing is a party planning business. I hear Jennifer Gilbert will also be a new housewife!! Interesting. Jill decides she wants to throw a Holiday Party next year and wants it to be spectacular. So she asks Jennifer to help her plan it. Jill tells Jennifer she wants to have an ice skating party and that she's "friendly" with Donald Trump, so she wants to use his ice rink. Poor Jennifer can't get a word in. Jill is just talking and talking and talking. She wants pigs in a blanket, chicken fingers for the kids, lamb chops for her stupid dog. SHUT UP!

SONJA

Sonja takes Ramona with her to see her plastic surgeon. She wants to get rid of her "pooch". Ramona tells her she's crazy and should just work out a little more, but Sonja isn't as "driven" as Ramona and she'd rather just go to her surgeon. She shows him her tummy and he tells her what he will do. Sonja brought Ramona to ask all the questions. He shows some before and after photos to Sonja and Ramona. Ramona takes her role as investigator very seriously, so she starts asking the hard questions. She asks the doctor at which hospitals he has privileges. NONE. She asks if he's a member of reputable organizations. NO ANSWER. Then she asks when was the last time he was board certified. UH. UM. What's the date/year? 1973. Sonja likes him and trusts him and doesn't care what Ramona thinks.

BETHENNY

Bethenny calls Alex and tells her about her pregnancy. She tells Alex that she's going to announce it now that it's been leaked. Then she tells Alex that JILL sent her an email telling Bethenny how she should handle it. AND, that she has already told the press that it's just a rumor "to help her out". Bethenny wants to know why Jill is talking to the press. Good question. AND, she wants to know why all of a sudden Jill gives a shit. Last week she told Bethenny that they were done and now she's giving her "friendly" advice. Weak. Bethenny says she doesn't do that.

Ramona is having a party to launch her beauty care line and all the housewives are going. Bethenny is NOT going, but she tells Alex that if she sees Jill and it's the right time, Alex is free to tell her "Bethenny's done." Alex takes this as an order and says she will do this. I don't think that was Bethenny's intention.

JILL

A local news station called Jill and Bobby to have HIM come talk about Zarin Fabrics. Jill keeps telling him that this is all about him and that it's his company, his day. Yeah. Jill is freaking out that she forgot to Twitter. SHUT UP! The interview starts and Bobby is going too slow for Jill, so she interrupts and takes OVER. She just shuts him out, sells the company and it's over.

SONJA

Sonja is meeting with her Psychic/Medium, Roberta. OMG. Where do I begin? Seriously, these people have entirely too much money and time on their hands. A PSYCHIC?? Who are these people? Can we talk about the psychic for a moment? Roberta is missing TEETH. Not missing a tooth - which is bad enough - but TEETH. As in many! Where the hell did Sonja find this woman and why did she hire her? Maybe she's a relative and Sonja is supporting her. I don't even know. She's there today to tell Sonja that she's making the right decision about having the liposuction on her tummy. WTF?? I don't know ANYONE like this. Who does this? Oh, and by the way, the drink in front of Roberta is NOT water. It's brownish and in a short old-fashioned glass in which one would normally serve Whiskey, Scotch, Brandy, etc. Ok, so maybe it's her toothless, alcoholic relative. They're sitting in a sitting room with a HUGE portrait of Sonja with her DOG. I...I....I just need to move on. This scene has too much.

Sonja tells us that being divorced has been a shock for her. She misses her "team" - drivers, baby nurses, gardeners, maids, cooks, security, etc. You know, all those things that one needs to run 5 houses. Right? OMG. This is ridiculous. You don't need you're team because you don't have 5 houses anymore!!

RAMONA

She's at her big skin care launching. She's excited for everyone to come. Jill arrives and she's just negative Nelly the whole time. She bitches that Ramona is mean to her so I guess it's Jill's turn to be mean back. First, the brochure. Jill says that she's being the bigger person by doing the right thing. But she just keeps going off. Next, it's that EVERYONE has a skincare line so it was a stupid move on Ramona's part. THEN, she says that the skincare line is all about health and she's serving the most unhealthy food imaginable at this event. Way to take the high road, Jill. HAHA.

A delivery arrives for Ramona from Bethenny. She says Congratulations and in 7 months she can enjoy the wine with Ramona. Jill whines that Bethenny didn't call her to tell her she was pregnant. Alex says that Bethenny called her. Jill tells us that she doesn't even know Bethenny anymore and that her life is so public because she "announced" her pregnancy through a message to Ramona. Dumb. That doesn't make it public. Besides it was already out.

Alex starts talking and that's when everything goes downhill. She makes a HUGE deal about how she PROMISED Bethenny she would deliver a message to Jill in front of all the girls. SO dumb. She keeps making it this huge thing. She should not have said ANYTHING and let Bethenny do it. BUT, if she wanted to tell Jill, she should have done it quietly and alone. She FINALLY tells Jill that Bethenny never wants to see her again and that they are DONE. Jill and Luann leave and Jill is totally upset. She doesn't understand why Alex would humiliate her like that. I hear that. It was totally inappropriate. Ramona agrees.

BETHENNY

Alex comes over to Bethenny's place and tells her about the message delivery. Bethenny is SHOCKED. She can't believe Alex did that. Alex admits that it was more about her than Bethenny. Alex took the "message" as her opportunity to just stand up to Jill.

See you next time!

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 8

"Let's See That Ring"

JILL

Jill's veterinarian comes over to see Ginger, Jill's chihuahua. Ginger hasn't been feeling well so she needed the vet to come over. Ginger panics when she's at the vet, so Jill decided to have the vet come to her. Ginger poops all over the place and Jill totally freaks out and poor Derren (Jill's assistant) is running around helping clean it up. I hope that guy gets paid well. Some of the poop gets on the nurse's shoes, so Jill puts his shoe in the sink and washes his shoe. Apparently all that drama was for nothing because Ginger is fine. OY!

ALEX

Alex and Bethenny are having lunch at Alex's house. She asks Bethenny to help her make the dressing for the salad. Bethenny starts making the dressing and tells Alex that she got engaged. Bethenny is so happy. I'm really excited for her. She decides not to tell Alex about the pregnancy. She's keeping that unwraps for now. Alex is a good friend. She feels honored that Bethenny decides to share this with her and that she's the first person she has told.

RAMONA

Sonja and Ramona are having lunch. They reminisce about when they met and used to hang out. They start gossiping and Ramona asks what Sonja thinks of Kelly. Sonja says that she's met Kelly in St. Bart's a MILLION times before, but when they were re-introduced, Kelly acted like she never met her before. Ramona confirms that Kelly is famous for that...not remembering people who she has met before. Kelly is VBI (very busy and important) and can't be bothered to remember people. Although, Ramona says that she probably would remember Sonja's ex husband. It's the MEN that Kelly remembers. HA! EXCEPT for Max. I think Kelly is embarrassed that Max went out with her and Sonja because she thinks she's far superior than Sonja. UGH. Kelly is so annoying. I can't stand people who don't remember meeting me when I've met them MANY times.

RAMONA

Ramona is at lunch with Avery and tells her that she wants to renew her wedding vows. AND she wants Avery to be her maid of honor. Avery says that she'll think about it. She's SO funny. Avery is embarrassed that they are renewing their vows. She thinks they are crazy. HAHA! I love Avery.

LUANN

Now we've come to the most annoying segment of the episode - even more than Jill's chihuahua vet drama. Luann is looking for her apartment in the city. Kelly is there and love downtown is trying to get Luann to find a place downtown. It's funny because I totally get where Kelly is coming from. Luann is single and needs a fun neighborhood. But Luann has a giant stick up her ass and doesn't like to see people walking on the street "who don't make an effort". You know, people who wear sweatshirts in public and don't wear make up. THE NERVE!! Luann would hate me...but, I would hate her, too, so it's all good. Anyhow, Luann entertains the idea of finding a place downtown and she is completely horrified by the available apartments in and above her price range. I'm astonished at how expensive some of the places are, but I still think they are great apartments. Luann is truly insulted that the rental agent had the nerve to show her a bedroom with a view of a brick wall. AND that the view in the living room is of OTHER BUILDINGS!! The audacity of this guy. Really. Luann is horrible.

JILL

Jill, her sister, Lisa, and her mom are all on Jill's bed looking through pictures to include in their book. The blatant, obnoxious promotion of this damn book is truly embarrassing. They are shameless. If you check out Jill's blog on bravo.com, it's full of shameless plugs about that damn book. ANNOYING.

SONJA

Luann, Sonja and Kelly are having dinner. Sonja says that she's considered taking Adderall because she wants to lose weight but Sagittarius people shouldn't take Adderall. Kelly thinks Ramona needs to be on Adderall. Sonja is crazy!! She's one of those woman who likes to boast about having sex. Sonja brings up Max and Kelly goes into defensive mode. She tells Sonja that she doesn't get her obsession with Max. Oh Kelly. You guys dated the same GUY. It's not that big of a deal. I know that knowing Max dated Sonja is totally humiliating to you, but get over it. Then Kelly tells Sonja that she wants to get married, but Sonja just wants to have fun. Luann says this is news to her. Luann had NO IDEA that Kelly was husband hunting. Quite frankly, neither did I.

Kelly goes on to tell the girls that she wants a beer-drinking, sports bar guy who also likes to go to the Opera. A "renaissance" man, if you will. Luann doesn't think that guy exists because you either have to be an uptight snob or a beer drinking slob. There isn't a man alive who could like to drink beer, watch sports and occasionally enjoy taking his girlfriend/wife to the Opera or Symphony. Luann is dumb.

Sonja says she just wants to meet a man who doesn't cheat. Then she asks Kelly if her husband cheated. Kelly is STUPID. She takes the question as an indication that Sonja's ex cheated on her and that's why she asked. No, dumbass. I think she KNOWS Luann's husband cheated on her, so that's why she brought up the whole cheating thing. Kelly asked a dumb question so Sonja asked if her husband cheated. DUMB. They finally get a table and stop having this ridiculous conversation.

KELLY

Kelly is hosting a party for GOTHAM magazine for its "100 bachelors in NYC" issue. Kelly is nervous that the girls will embarrass her. Ramona shows up and acts like nothing happens. Kelly doesn't understand what's going on. AND Kelly is wearing a doily. No joke. You can practically see her ass. No joke. Jill shows up in her fur vest because she wants to be like Kelly. God knows why. Luann shows up and Ramona introduces her to one of the "most eligible bachelors". Mario shows up and Luann decides to be totally obnoxious and try to have it out with Mario IN ITALIAN. She doesn't want to air her dirty laundry in public in ENGLISH, so she does it in Italian to be pretentious and rude (because everyone is watching and no one knows what's going on). Mario STILL doesn't apologize (GO MARIO!!) so Luann lets it go and says it's water under the bridge. HAHA.

Alex, Simon, Bethenny and Jason show up. Alex's dress is also super SHORT. You can see her ass cheeks. No joke. All the girls are laughing and talking about the short dresses and Jill and Luann bolt out of there. It's totally ridiculous. Jill is a freakin' DRAMA QUEEN. Bethenny tells Ramona that she's engaged and all the ladies hug and congratulate her. Not Jill and Luann, though. They are too dramatic to stick around.

Jill and Luann are talking to that most eligible bachelor guy and Jill decides to take a dig at Sonja. Maybe Jill doesn't know that her ex is JP Morgan's grandson. I'm sure if she knew, she would be licking her ass instead of insulting her to this guy. She tells the guy that if he sticks his tongue down Sonja's throat, she'll let him sit with her. While this might be true, it's so mean. What's Sonja done to you, Jill? You just lost one friend, I'm not sure you want to keep alienating yourself.

Kelly comes up to Jill and Luann and tells them that they just ditched her. In the middle of saying this, some guy walks by and in her high pitched Kelly voice, she waves and says "Hi, Scott!" in the middle of her sentence and then continues talking. I...I...I don't even know what to say to that. Jill calls her out and laughs, but Kelly - oblivious - keeps talking. She tells them that Bethenny is engaged and Jill says that she's happy for Bethenny. Jason, Bethenny's fiance, walks by and Kelly grabs him, hugs him and congratulates him. Jill is pissed and doesn't know why Kelly would do that. Um, because Kelly doesn't have a CLUE!! Jason is very cordial to all the ladies and they congratulate him.

The Countess walks over and congratulates Bethenny. Then Luann asks why Bethenny attacked her that day. Bethenny just apologizes and says that she's sorry. It was enough for Luann and the air is cleared. Jill says she is leaving but she wants to wait for Bobby. Simon tells her she should go over and congratulate Bethenny. Jill dismisses Simon as Bobby walks up to them. Jill is afraid she will look bad if she doesn't say anything to Jill. Bethenny and Jason decide to leave and as they are walking out, Jill catches her and congratulates her on the engagement. Bethenny is upset and tries to smile, but she's over it. Jill says that this is all a misunderstanding. No it wasn't. Jill is super fake and gushes over the ring. Bethenny is completely over Jill. FINALLY. Bethenny has been trying too hard to repair the relationship. Jill is a bitch and drama queen. Not to mention Narcissistic and insecure. I'm glad Bethenny is finally over it.

OMG. In the scenes for what's coming up for the rest of the season, the Countess sings a her new hit song. I'm speechless. I'm pretty sure selling out and humiliating yourself on TV is NOT in her book. HAHAHA!

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 7

"New Girl, Old Money"

LUANN

Luann is visiting the newest housewife, Sonja Morgan - ex-wife of John Morgan, heir to the JP Morgan fortune. According to Luann, they are friends and run in the same circles. (insert eye roll here). In the first few minutes, I've got this woman pegged. She is a cougar in every sense of the word. The thing is, she is SO NOT PRETTY. She may have a good body, BUT HER FACE!!! She's a total butter-face. NOT ATTRACTIVE. I'm sure her bank account is how she gets her men. In fact, Luann spots a photograph of Max, the guy Kelly "dated" last season. HA! It's not surprising that Sonja and Luann are friends considering all the stories coming out about Luann's crazy sex life.

SONJA

Yup, I was right. She was married for many years which means she must get a pretty fantastic spousal support payment, not to mention child support for their 9 year old. I estimate that she gets about $60K/month...at least. Not to mention all the property she must have gotten. Ridiculous. She's also addicted to cosmetic surgery. Not surprising.

Luann asks for clothes for donation for the cocktail party she's hosting. Sonja offers her home as a location for the cocktail party. Her housekeeper throws a bunch of Sonja's old clothes in the "elevator" of her townhouse - which is located next door to Martin Scorcese's, btw - and she and Luann go through it all.

JILL

Jill and Bobby are having a slice in NYC. They discuss the "incident" at Ramona's. Jill tells us that she just gave the letter from Bethenny to Bobby but hadn't talked to him about it. OMG. Bethenny was totally right. You cannot win with Jill. She just looks for failure. Bobby says that the letter was really nice and he tells Jill that it's hard to throw away a friendship and that Bethenny admits that she may have missed something this summer and apologized to Bobby. Jill's response: "She didn't write ME a letter." OMG!!! Are you serious, lady?? Bethenny has tried to talk to you and has called and reached out. She wrote Bobby a letter because you BITCHED so much that she didn't call Bobby directly. Now, it's not enough because she didn't write you a letter, too?? Holy Shit, Jill. It's a no win situation for Bethenny. I think Bethenny should just say "good riddance" to Jill and move on. Who needs this drama queen?

Bobby tries to encourage Jill to bury the hatchet. He tells her to do the right thing and it'll come back to her. He's a good man.

BETHENNY

Bethenny is a spokesperson for Pepperidge Farm and they have these street carts that sell sandwiches that Bethenny created. So today, she is there giving out sandwiches. Alex comes by to support Bethenny and they talk. Bethenny tells Alex that she went to LA and her dad refused to see her. That sucks. Bethenny is trying to deal with it and understand that her dad was just not ready to see her. She changes the subject to ask about the Brooklyn Fashion show and Alex tells her it's this coming weekend. So Bethenny tells Alex that she talked to Jill. She tells her that she apologized and gave Jill a note for Bobby until Luann came in and ended it. Bethenny just wants to move on and be happy.

LUANN

Luann and Jill meet up at the park - of course, Luann arrives in a rickshaw because she can't be bothered to walk. Oh Jill, that dress is NOT flattering. I know Jill is tiny in real life, but that poofy short skirt makes her look like she has the widest hips in the world. Jill tells Luann that she's doing some sort of cleanse to forgive anyone who has ever wronged her in her life. Luann gets scared and immediately wants to know if this means Bethenny. Jill says that it's about forgiveness so that she's not holding on to these negative feelings anymore.

Luann tells Jill about a guy she likes. He's kind of young and French. Apparently he's dark-skinned, Jewish and slender. I'm dying to see what he looks like.

RAMONA

Ramona has planned a special evening for her and Mario. Avery is gone for the evening, so she planned something special. They are so great together. Even though she can be super abrasive and I'm still not over all the mean things she said to Bethenny last week, I think she and Mario have such a great marriage and are a great couple. He's younger and kind of playboy looking guy, but he loves that Ramona is a total nut-job and they are clearly still into each other. I love it. Ramona tells Mario that she thinks they should renew their vows. They've been married 16 years and she wants to renew the commitment. He agrees and they go have sex. Gross.

ALEX

It's Brooklyn Fashion Weekend time!! Alex, Kelly and RAMONA are going to walk the runway! Ramona loaned her jewelry to the show. She's backstage and practicing her walk. Jill shows up and she is HORRIFIED at how LOW RENT Brooklyn Fashion Weekend is. I agree that having the meet and greet next to a huge heap of trash is probably not such a good idea, but Jill could've been a little nicer and not so critical. I mean, support your friend. Jill tells us that Luann would have pulled up and then driven away. She wouldn't have been caught dead at that event.

Kelly tells Jill that she was very upset by the email from Jill. Here we go...back to high school. Jill says to Kelly "You told me that you were not friends with Bethenny." Kelly says that she's not friends with Bethenny. Then Jill brings up some stupid "tweet" from Kelly to Bethenny telling her that she's happy for her and wishes her luck. That just pissed Jill off. Kelly spouts some bullshit about PR 101 and PR 102. PR 101 is: "Any press is good press." PR 102 is "Deflation." If you no longer want bad press on you, you compliment the other person and it deflates the situation and people will leave you alone. I see her point. I just think she's an idiot, so it's hard to give her credit.

Ramona walks up and Jill immediately criticizes the necklace that Ramona is wearing and tells her that it doesn't go with the dress. Ramona tells us that she thought Jill was there to support them, but she's jealous that she's not in the show. AND the show begins...

Jill says that the chairs are uncomfortable, she's overdressed and she criticizes every piece that comes down the runway. Who invited her?? Kelly looks like a frickin' football player. HAHA. She agrees with me! HA. She says that the straight across strapless makes her shoulders look like a linebacker. It DOES!! Alex looks great. Jill, of course, has to be negative and criticize. Ramona comes out and has the bulging eyes. Jill says that she looked like an idiot. Who invited Jill? Seriously. Next time, leave her at home. She had NOTHING nice to say.

She bolted out of there with her daughter as soon as it was over. If there aren't any celebrities or "important people" for Jill to be seen with or talk to, it's simply not worth her time. Forget supporting your friends. Talk about no manners.

BETHENNY

Bethenny takes a pregnancy test and discovers that she is PREGNANT! Bethenny is calling Jason like crazy and he's not answering. It's totally cute and funny. Then the automated voice comes on saying "if you'd like to leave a message...." and Bethenny says "this woman is ruining my life right now." HAHA. My sister has that SAME automated woman on her phone and it drives me NUTS! I feel your pain, Bethenny.

She decides to call her best friend, Stephanie, and tell her the news. Stephanie is AWESOME. She's just like Bethenny. Bethenny is freaking out about what the lines/colors mean on the test and Stephanie - in a total monotone voice - says "Your pregnant. Congratulations." LOVE IT!!

JILL

Jill is hosting an event for Kodak for the relaunch of its website. Luann brings Sonja Morgan with her to meet Jill. Kelly shows up and says hello. And, Ramona shows up and starts in. FILTER, Ramona, FILTER. She reminds Jill that she's a business woman and asks Jill why she would pair up with Kodak since it is so antiquated as a company. Jill is stunned. But, Ramona has a point. Kodak is pretty antiquated. It did seem like an odd pairing. But Ramona, why would you say this AT THE PARTY??? Jill says that they are re-vamping the business. So then Ramona calls Jill out for not coming up to them after the fashion show and telling her that she did a good job. Jill says that she was running late and had to get out of there. Kelly walks over and can't believe Ramona called Jill out. Jill said she didn't mean to snub her. Then she tells Ramona that she needs to leave. She asked Ramona to be there to support her and all she did was insult her. Um, Jill, just because you didn't do it to Ramona's face doesn't mean that you were a big supporter of the fashion show. I mean, Jill was rude and critical the entire time...from the moment she stepped out of the car until she flew out of there at the end. HYPOCRITE!

After Jill walked off, Luann and Kelly come over and reprimand Ramona. They tell her how inappropriate she was to bring up the Kodak thing at the party and that Jill is excited and she shouldn't have ruined her night, blah, blah, blah. Ramona tries to defend herself and then tells Kelly that she doesn't understand because she's not a business person. Kelly and Luann just walk away.

Sonja walks into the party and meets up with Kelly and Luann. Jill's first impression is that she thinks Sonja is really pretty. Um, is Jill blind?? Kelly announces that she needs to go to a dinner so she has to leave, per usual. Luann says "It's not with Max, is it?" and then looks at Sonja and says "You know Max." They all chuckle and then Sonja says that she discovered Max. Clueless Kelly didn't know who they were talking about until she said the last name. Wow. Sonja is crazy.

They meet back up with Jill and they start talking about Ramona. Sonja says that she's known Ramona for 20 years. Well, that explains the crazy. I'm sure that before Ramona met Mario, she and Sonja were the biggest drunkest, party girls in NYC.

Ramona runs into Sonja and they catch up and plan a lunch date. Ramona and Kelly start fighting in the middle of Jill's presentation. Ramona finally says "I don't want to talk to you. You have no brain." Then Ramona leaves. Jill tells us that she never thought Ramona would betray her like that and try to sabotage her endorsement deal. Um, it's not always about you, Jill. I think it was about Kelly and Ramona. UGH.

See you next week.

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 6

"The Ambush"

BETHENNY

Bethenny and Ramona go for a walk along the Brooklyn Bridge. Ramona hates Brooklyn, so she asks Simon and Alex to meet them on the other side of the bridge. :) Bethenny tells Ramona about her phone call with Jill. She tells Ramona that she just wants to know why this got so out of control. Now Ramona decides to lay into her for no reason. First she tells Bethenny that she thinks she (Bethenny) is a fame monger and planted the story in the newspaper. She goes on to say that she wants to help Bethenny and that she thinks Bethenny is very self-serving. Um...how is this "helping" Bethenny? Bethenny says that Ramona isn't exactly warm and fuzzy either. Ramona shoots back by saying that at least she has friends and Bethenny has NO friends. She only has Jason and she'll "probably mess that up, too." Wow. That is SO MEAN. Ramona, shame on you. That's so below the belt. Besides, with friends like Jill and Luann, who needs enemies. So careful, Ramona. Besides, one of Ramona's "friends" was talking sh*t about Ramona to Jill on the yacht in the first episode. So, tread lightly, Ramona.

Ramona tries to neutralize the damage she's just done. She says she didn't mean to upset Bethenny and apologizes. She was just being honest with Bethenny. Wow. That was so hurtful. I'm officially no longer Team Ramona. That was seriously cruel. I call BULLSHIT that she didn't mean to hurt Bethenny. She can't possibly be that clueless. Jill thinks "Get a Hobby" is the worst thing anyone has ever said to her? She should take a stroll with Ramona. Jeez. I don't know why Bethenny continues to talk to her. Bethenny says that Jill wants to "win" this fight, but Bethenny doesn't think there are any winners here. Bethenny is right. Basically, Bethenny got a life and Jill got jealous and decided to take revenge on her by making this huge production out of the fight. It's so ridiculous and high school.

Bethenny had a lot going on last summer. She was on a 6 month book tour, she had to write a second book in 4 months and start a 3rd book. She met someone and was trying to work on that relationship. Plus, her dad - who she has virtually no relationship with - is dying which is something that's super hard to deal with. Bethenny just wanted her and Jill to work through everything and become friends again but that's not going to happen. Ramona interviews that she could not wait for the end of the bridge to come so she could get into Brooklyn. STFU, Ramona! Talk about self-serving.

They finally arrive in Brooklyn and Alex and Simon met them with coffees. Bethenny says that she's on the Ramona-Coaster. One minute, Ramona is crazy/psycho and the next she's taking pictures and eating lunch. Jeez.

KELLY

Kelly is trying to ask randoms how they take trends out of magazines and wear them. She's essentially BEGGING people to talk to her. It's a little pathetic that NO ONE wants to talk to her. Maybe she should tell them that her ex-husband is the most famous photographer in the world. She finds some people and asks them if they're wearing underwear. WTF? What does that have to do with trends? Dumb. She runs into Peter Butler, who is also a really famous photographer (but not like her ex-husband) and she asks him her questions. She decides to take his picture, but she's such an idiot, she doesn't know how to use her own frickin' camera!!! Kelly tells us AGAIN, that she was married to one of the most famous photographers in the UNIVERSE....oops, I said world before. My bad. And, she doesn't know how to use a stupid digital camera. DUMBASS.

LUANN

Luann comes into the city to meet with her friend Henry Buhl who owns a high end thrift store. She has some clothes to donate and wants to have a cocktail party where people come and bring their designer duds to donate. She takes off and heads to Jill's where she is crashing. She's laying in the guestroom reading and Jill comes in to join her. Jill is so funny. She gets all fancy in pajamas since the "countess" is staying at her house. They discuss the cocktail party. Jill tells Luann that she got a Diamond Sak's card which is their highest card. Obnoxious. The dog totally farts on the bed and it stinks. Jill tells Luann that Kelly and Bethenny made up. Jill is upset and doesn't get how they could be friends. WHY DO YOU CARE, JILL???? People have to choose, now? SO dumb. GET OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL!!! Kelly forgave Bethenny. Some people can forgive.

ALEX

For all her kookiness, Alex is actually a good friend and listener. I have to give her that. Bethenny comes to meet her to cast the models for the Brooklyn Fashion show. Bethenny gets there before Kelly and Ramona so she talks to Alex about what is going on with her. Bethenny tells Alex that she's going to LA after the casting. She tells Alex about her dad and she can barely talk. She's totally emotional and upset. Alex thinks that Bethenny is doing the right thing by going to see her dad. Alex really is a great friend.

OH.MY.GOD. Kelly walks in with yet ANOTHER fur vest. Enough with the fur vests!! Kelly comes in preaching about how horrible it is to be a model and be judged every day. Oh, poor models. Ramona and Alex's Day Gay show up and the casting begins. Bethenny says that they are doing the "poor man's America's Next Top Model". HA! Ramona tells Bethenny that Jill is going to her house next week, so she's just throwing it out there that Bethenny should stop by.

ALEX

Jill felt guilty about how upset Alex got about the kid comment, so she comes to Brooklyn to visit with Alex and the boys. Alex asks Jill to get involved with Brooklyn Fashion Weekend. She tells Jill that she and Kelly are walking in the show. Jill then asks about Luann, because she used to be a model. Jill asks if Bethenny is invited. Alex spills the beans about Bethenny going through some really hard times right now, but doesn't want to give details. Jill doesn't care.

RAMONA

Luann and Jill arrive at Ramona's house. Luann is collecting clothes for her cocktail party. Ramona brings out a bag of salvation army level clothes to donate. Luann tells her that it's more high end so Ramona finds some gowns. Bethenny arrives at Ramona's house and Ramona tells Bethenny to stay calm. Jill feels totally ambushed. Luann is angry. I think Luann is terrified that Jill will make up with Bethenny and dump Luann. They sit down and talk. Jill is being so dramatic. Jill wants to bring up the past and Bethenny wants to move forward. Jill refuses and brings up Bobby's cancer AGAIN. Bethenny says that Jill is always keeping score and picking at everybody. It's hard to win with Jill. I think Bethenny has a point. Bethenny tells Jill that she has to accept SOME responsibility. Bethenny is accepting responsibility, but Jill thinks she has done NOTHING wrong. Meanwhile, Luann thinks this is super upsetting. STFU, Luann. Bethenny says that she would never do anything to hurt Jill and that Jill could have reached out to Bethenny instead of waiting for her to fail. True. Jill says she can't do this and LUANN comes in and says that they have to go. Who the F are you, Luann? UGH. Ramona should have done this without Luann. Luann is way too invested in this fight. She never wants them to make up because it would ruin her friendship with Jill. UGH.

It's totally clear that Jill doesn't like to be around Bethenny because Bethenny will call her out on her shit. Jill doesn't want to be seen as the bad guy and if she's not around Bethenny, she can control the conversation. She's mad at Ramona for orchestrating this little confrontation and Luann is right there backing her up. These people are so sad to me. Who has new best friends every year?? Seriously? I've had about 3 best friends for at least 10 years and one of them has been my best friend for 20 years!! Who the hell are these people?? Ugh. Pathetic.

Jill and Luann are mad at Ramona for staging this attack. Jill breaks down and starts crying. Ramona doesn't understand why Jill is so upset because Jill did the same thing with Bethenny and Kelly last year. SHUT THE F*CK UP, LUANN. Just stop talking. Luann takes her out of there. Ramona doesn't understand why Jill is not letting things go with Bethenny. I don't think Ramona is the bad guy in this situation.

See you next time.

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 5

"Hot Off the Press"

BETHENNY

Bethenny gets an email that she and Jill are in the Daily News and the article refers to them as "frenemies". Bethenny is insulted because they are too old to have frenemies...they aren't 26 anymore. JEESH. Well, I think you guys should stop acting like it then. This show is like a reality show about cliques in high school. Bethenny figures out - pretty easily - that Jill and Luann orchestrated the article. It gives shout-outs to Jill and Sak's Fifth Avenue and Ungaro - who Luann threw the party for last week. Hmmm.

Bethenny is especially pissed because Perez Hilton reached out to her saying that Jill was talking all kinds of smack about her. I love Perez, but I'm with Bethenny. I wouldn't want him to know ANYTHING about me.

KELLY

Kelly is being interviewed for the article accompanying her photos in Playboy. Kelly is such a dork. She told him she was nervous because he is SO GOOD LOOKING. He's alright, but not hot. Kelly is so weird. She is so flirty. OMG. In her interview with us, she looks like an oompa loompa. Holy tanning addiction! Then he asks if she's into yoga or meditation. She says she's more of a reader so he asks what she's read lately. She tells him that she reads what her kids are reading. Um, aren't they 5 and 8? He tells her that he read a great book by a Swedish author called "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo". Kelly responds that she doesn't have any tattoos and then tells us that she needs to brush up on her foreign literature. She's so dumb. That's a super popular book and anyone who is a "reader" would have at least heard of it. My book club is reading it right now.

She is just flirty and laying it on THICK. This guy is kind of a nerd, so he's SUPER stoked that she called him "so good looking" and has been flirting with him the whole time. So he asks her out on a date and she is just giddy giddy giddy. I know that he wants to date her because he thinks she's hot and he's seen naked pictures of her. But she's SO DUMB. Men are disappointing.

LUANN

Victoria is sketching on the couch and Luann says that she can try to get Victoria a "staj" or what we Americans call an INTERNSHIP. Seriously? You can just say that you'll try to get her an internship, you need to say "staj" to show her and us that you are the most pretentious woman in NY? Mission accomplished. Then, Victoria asks how she would get to the city - since they live in the Hamptons now - and Luann says that she's still looking for an apartment in the city and hopefully, they'll have one by then. I'm sure she got a HUGE settlement in the divorce, so she has plenty of cash to buy a place in Manhattan. And the pretentiousness continues....She tells us that as much as she loves the Hamptons, she really needs to get something in the city, too. She needs a "piet a terre". UGH. She's so obnoxious.

Victoria asks her mom about her dating life and Luann tells us that it's simply too soon - and I'm sure inappropriate - to discuss her dating life with the children. Victoria tells her that "Papa has obviously moved on and I think you should, too." OUCH! Luann is glad to have Victoria's blessing. Although, I don't think it has mattered considering the rumors in NYC about Luann's sex life.

JILL

Ally - Jill's daughter - made friends with some of the people at Seventeen and has been asked to be in their issue about finding the perfect prom dress for your body type. I'm guessing Ally is the "curvy" body type. I really like Ally. She seems cool. They give her a dress and she goes off to get ready. Kelly shows up to give support to Ally in another FUR VEST! So ugly.

Jill felt all proud that Kelly was "with her" and all the Seventeen mag people were impressed. Dumb. Ally finishes the shoot and goes to get dressed. Kelly tells Jill about the HOT journalist and how nervous she got. OMG. He's really not hot. He's short and kind of nerdy, which I would LOVE. But Kelly wants rich and she says that he's smart. Jill says that smart is good because they will always have money. Oh jeez.

ALEX

Alex meets up with her "day gay" - Derek - and Alex is on the board of Brooklyn Fashion Weekend. So they are picking a designer for the event. Alex invited Bethenny, Ramona and Kelly to join them to get other perspectives about designers and fashion. The theme is "Manhattan goes to Brooklyn". Ramona is sitting next to Kelly and Kelly says "she says mean things to me and now she's acting like my best friend." So, naturally, Bethenny asks what mean things. Ramona tells them that she speaks without thinking and asks Kelly if she wants her to repeat what she said. Kelly says no and Ramona asks why she brought it up at all. Good point.

Bethenny apologizes to the girls because they are being put in the middle of this whole Jill/Bethenny debacle and the article in the Daily News. Alex asks Bethenny if she "planted it" and Bethenny flat out denies it and says it has Jill written all over it with the events and such. Ramona tells Bethenny not to attack when the person is not present - although she allowed Jill and Luann to attack Bethenny when Bethenny wasn't there. Ramona says she hates being put in the middle and tells us that she can't believe Jill would stoop that low.

Kelly gets mad that Bethenny is acting all innocent and tells Bethenny that Jill is doing exactly what Bethenny always does. Kelly says that Bethenny is super mean and does that kind of stuff to everyone else all the time. Wow. Way to honor that truce, Kelly. They fight back and forth and Ramona finally YELLS for them to STOP. Then Alex says enough is enough. She tells them that she invited them to talk about fashion for Brooklyn Fashion Week and if they want to fight, they can leave. You go, girl! They decide to act like adults and talk fashion.

They see some of the designs. Bethenny says she didn't see anything that she would wear. I concur. Although I rarely see things at fashion shows that I would wear.

RAMONA

Ramona is having lunch with her friend, Joni. She just keeps talking about her "renewal". The hair, her relationship with Mario, her life. She says that her father's death brought about this renewal. Ramona talks about her awful childhood with her dad. It's very sad and explains a lot about how she is who she is. Then she says she made peace with him two weeks before he died. She totally breaks down at the table. Very sad.

KELLY

Kelly tells her assistant about the "hot" journalist. But then, upon reflection, Kelly decides that she can't date "just anyone", so she's going to cancel. She reminds us that she was married to Gilles Bensimon who is is super famous and amazing and important. So, the next guy she dates seriously needs to be that caliber. I mean, duh, right? Don't date someone smart and nice. Date an ego maniac asshole. Why not?

OMG. Jill is in HIGH SCHOOL. Kelly gets an email from Jill saying that a little birdie told her that Kelly was all good with Bethenny now. Jill goes on to say that she thought Kelly cared and wishes her luck with Bethenny because she'll need it. Seriously??? OMG. Jill was one of my favorites last year, but she has seriously taken a turn for the worst. JILL NEEDS TO GET A HOBBY.

JILL

Luann comes over to Jill's condo to stay for the weekend. Luann brought her a wine glass that says "Go Big or Go Home" on it. Bethenny decides to call Jill to settle this fight. Jill answers and talks to her and puts it on speaker so Luann can hear. Bethenny asks if she's alone and Jill says no - even though Luann tells her to lie. Jill says that she has "friends" over, but doesn't specify Luann. They start talking and Bethenny says she just wants to talk about how this small argument got so huge and now includes so many people. Jill says that's not important and that she wishes Bethenny the best. Jill goes on to berate Bethenny for not even calling Bobby to ask him about his surgery, his battle with cancer, etc. So basically, Jill is pissed that Bethenny didn't do enough in her eyes. What Jill doesn't understand is that people deal with serious illness in different ways. I have friends who have parents who are very ill and they get offended when people don't ask about their parents. I also have friends who get offended when people DO ask about their parents. I think Jill is so incredibly self-absorbed.

Jill continues to berate Bethenny for not visiting Bobby and not calling him DIRECTLY. Then they fight more about how Bethenny was not a good friend and Bethenny yells how she was right about Jill needing a hobby and then Jill says "We are done. Have a nice day." and hangs up. Jill was only acting like that because she had an audience. What a bitch. Good riddance. That's what I say. Bethenny doesn't need a leech like Jill in her life. Let Luann have her.

I feel bad for Bethenny because she's so sad about it. But she's so much better off. Her life is fantastic right now and she's happy, she doesn't need Jill dragging her down and making her feel bad.

Now Jill and Luann are laughing and rehashing the conversation. HIGH SCHOOL I really hate those two...and, I might be way too invested in this show. I feel that I need to get a hobby because I really can't stand those women and I want to call Bethenny and tell her that she is so much better without them.

See you next week.

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 4

"Fashion and Fighting"

BETHENNY

Jason comes over to Bethenny's place and she's in her bathrobe chilling out after the Jill Stuart fashion show. Bethenny recounts the Jill drama to Jason and tells him this "thing with Jill" is far greater than she initially thought. The conversation falls to Luann where Bethenny says Luann is working her last nerve. Then Bethenny tells us that she has an etiquette tip for Luann: "Mind your own beeswax!" Agreed.

Jason says that he needs to talk serious. He says that the living situation is not working for him. He's at her house 100% of the time, but all of his stuff is at his house. He tells her that before they even step foot in "their" apartment, he will make a commitment to her. I'm guessing she said that if he wants to live together, he better put a ring on it! You go, Bethenny!! I've got the same rule!

KELLY

Kelly is at the Pamela Roland show that she's hosting and Luann is there. They are trying to figure out if Kelly should introduce Luann as the Countess or not. UGH. So f-ing pretentious. Anyhow, Luann asks Kelly if she knew that Bethenny was going to be there and Kelly says yes, in her clueless way. The only two shows that Bethenny never misses are Jill Stuart and Pamela Roland. Immediately Luann comments to Bethenny that she's really coming to A LOT of shows this season unlike in the past. Bethenny tells her that she always goes to two shows every year: Jill Stuart and Pamela Roland. Luann sounds surprised and Bethenny walks away. Luann is annoying. You can't just say "Hi, nice to see you." and be done??

Kelly, Luann and Lisa Rinna (??) are taking pictures together and Bethenny walks up. As they are posing, Luann says that her earlier comments were not a "dig" at Bethenny. Bethenny disagrees and starts in on Luann. Luann is clearly embarrassed and tells Bethenny that this isn't the time or the place to have this conversation and she looks around to see if anyone is watching. Bethenny is fired UP. While I hate doing it, I might have to agree with Luann that a fashion show is not the time or the place for a fight. It may not be holy like church, but there are lots of cameras and people around...just inappropriate. But, I also understand that Bethenny is NOT HAPPY.

Bethenny tells Luann that she's telling her to her face that Luann has been giving her digs every time they see each other. Luann denies it and then brings up Jill! WHY?? Luann tells Bethenny that she thought it was strange that she hasn't seen Jill for FOUR MONTHS and yesterday, Bethenny acted like she had seen Jill last week. Bethenny asks Luann why it's any of her business and that Luann and Jill aren't even friends. Luann says that she and Jill are very good friends. Bethenny says - not sure I would have gone there - that's funny because all last year Jill was telling anyone who would listen that Luann sleeps around. Zing! Bethenny finishes with "I don't like you. I don't trust you. I think you are a snake. And I'm telling you to your face." Zing! Wow.

Luann was totally shocked and taken aback. Bethenny reiterated that she thinks Luann is sneaky, untrustworthy and competitive and that all her complements are little digs. Luann is just speechless and mumbles something and then they all sit down. Kelly is sitting between Bethenny and Luann. Luann tells Kelly how foul Bethenny is and that Bethenny called her a cheating skank. Bethenny calls her out for talking about her right in front of her and clarifies that she called her a SNAKE not a skank. Luann tells us how shocked she was at Bethenny's behavior. It's so not how a Countess would act ... although, two housewives have called Luann out on sleeping around and cheating on the Count last year. I'm pretty sure that's not too ladylike either.

Kelly asks Bethenny to switch places so she can sit next to Lisa Rinna, you know, since they are old friends. Whatever. Kelly is so clueless. She just saw this major blowout between Bethenny and Luann and now she's asking Bethenny to switch spots with her so that Bethenny will be sitting right next to Luann. Kelly = Clueless.

Bethenny interviews that she wanted to get out of there. She hated herself and Luann for what happened. The one thing she regretted saying was that Jill was not Luann's friend. That was catty, I agree. The show is FINALLY OVER. Bethenny is looking for an entire box of wine to consume and Kelly asks Luann if she's ok. Oh, now you care. You totally made her sit next to Bethenny so you could be a celebrity whore and sit next to Lisa Rinna, who is D-list at best.

RAMONA

Ramona takes Avery to Fashion Week with her. Ramona is surprised to see Kelly. Kelly immediately asks her why she wasn't invited to Ramona's Labor Day party. Ramona gives her excuses, but she shouldn't have to. Don't be fake. Own it. You don't like her. It's ok. I don't either. Kelly bitches in an interview that Ramona gave a long-winded monologue about why she couldn't invite Kelly, but she should have just said "I didn't want you there." If that's really what you wanted to hear, then you shouldn't have asked because you obviously already knew the answer!!! Dumb.

So after the show, Kelly tells Ramona that she needs to leave right away because she's taking Jill to a Perez Hilton party. OMG! I wanna go!! Ramona calls her out for not inviting her! Touche! Kelly ends up inviting Ramona and Ramona thinks she's being nice by accepting. This I'm not sure about: Ramona puts her 14 year old in a cab and sends her home alone. I didn't grow up in a big city and I'm not sure I would do the same thing. If I had a driver who I knew, I'd send my kid home alone, but a random cab? Really? Weird.

They all meet Perez Hilton at the party for the launch of his new website: Cocoperez.com!! Then, Kelly decides to fill Jill and Ramona in on the drama at the Pamela Roland show. Why Kelly?? Is it really necessary. Oy! Jill butts in and tells the story from Luann's perspective. WTF? Ramona tells us that she's not taking sides. This is a new Ramona, she will just listen to each person before making any judgments.

BETHENNY

Bethenny is having a sort of promotional event at the Robert Verdi Lounge. She's serving her skinny girl margaritas there for Fashion Week. Alex shows up and they sit and chat about the week's events. Bethenny lays it all out and then Alex says that she, too, has a problem with Jill because of the digs by her and Luann about her son crawling up some guy's leg. As they are wrapping up the convo, Kelly walks in. They toast and Kelly makes some stink about not wanting the margarita. She finally tries it and Bethenny makes some joke about taking prozac and lithium. Kelly doesn't get that it's a joke. Dumbass. Bethenny tells us that she doesn't think Kelly is a moron...really? 'Cuz I do. Kelly says that she was hoping that coming and supporting Bethenny was gesture by Kelly to put the past behind them. Kelly says that she's going to continue to make an effort to be nice to Bethenny, but she does NOT trust her.

I think it's funny that it's Jill/Luann vs. Bethenny and Alex, Ramona and Kelly are being the neutral friendly ones!

JILL

Jill is shooting the cover of her book "Secrets of a Jewish Mother" that she wrote with her mom and sister. Her sister, Lisa, and her mom are just complaining and whining about all of it. OY VEY!

RAMONA

Bethenny and Ramona meet for drinks. Bethenny fills her in and Ramona is standing firm and not taking sides. Good for her!

JILL

For Fashion Week, Jill has decided to host a party at Sak's for her fabulous girlfriends. Jill needs to go to her room to have her hair done - she's at her house, btw - and Luann shows up. So now Luann and Gloria - Jill's mom - are chatting on the coach. How fun for Jill's mom. Every season, Jill gets a new friend.

Gloria asks what Luann's been up to and Luann vaguely says that she's been really busy. Hmmm, doing what exactly? It's not like she has a job. Then Gloria asks about the kids and how they are taking "things". Luann says that they are great and it's been tough, but today is a big day because her divorce is finalized today! Wow. Way to drop the bomb on poor Gloria.

Luann and Jill show up at Sak's. Ramona comes in and says hello to the girls. In her effort to stay neutral, Ramona tells us that she thought Jill was banned from Sak's for returning too many clothes after she'd worn them. Zing! I love Ramona.

Jill tells a group of ladies that she's wearing an Alexander McQueen dress. (insert eye roll here). Ramona - again, love her - tells us that the dress reminded her of Jill's apartment: too much metallic and stuff going on. HA! Jill takes a group to the Sak's private club. She's just way too much. I would say Jill and Luann fit the classic Narcissist profiles. Oh wait, there may be another member ... Kelly walks in wearing a really short dress and a ...wait for it ... fur vest. WTF? First, it's UGLY. Second, it's not even functional because it covers her shoulders and that's about it. Dumb.

Alex and Simon show up and start looking at clothes. Ok, wait. How is Sak's being "so generous" by letting Jill host a dinner party at their store? A customer wants to invite all her wealthy NYC wannabes to Sak's for the night to SHOP after hours! I think Jill is the generous one.

Simon is talking to Luann and somehow Mario's name comes up and Ramona suddenly appears. I think she's pissed that they are STILL talking about Mario, so Ramona just fires off at Luann. She tells Alex and Simon that Luann didn't want them at her party. Luann denies that she said that but Ramona is standing firm. Ramona says that Luann is trying to be chummy with Alex and Simon and she just said a few weeks prior that she didn't want them at her party. Ramona says that she's upset because the Countess is lying. Wouldn't be the first time.

Alex decides to confront Jill about the comment regarding her son. Jill gives the whole "who me?" face and tells us that she did nothing wrong and, btw, this was so not the time or place. What is she doing, reading the Countess's book of manners?? Jill says that she didn't even see the boy do it, Luann was the one who saw it. Alex has a total meltdown. Jill is apologizing up the wazoo and you know she's just trying to get Alex to stop and go away. Alex starts crying that she let's all the stupid shit Jill says go, but when she talks about her kids, it just made her so angry. I feel back for Alex. I see what she's saying. Jill and Luann with all their digs finally made her explode. Jill interviews that she felt bad because she knew that Alex was upset and it wasn't just about the kid comment.

They hug it out and then Alex says that she wants to talk to Luann and get to the bottom of it. Jill tells Alex to call Luann over and confront her. Then, in a not-such-a-good-friend move, she tells Alex that if Jill gives Luann a heads up, Luann will think of something to say to get her out of it, but if Alex just calls her over, she'll have no idea. Hmmm. So, Luann comes over and admits that she saw the boy crawl up the guy's leg. Alex is confused, but tells us that both Jill and Luann are bugging her at this point. I smell Team Bethenny for both Ramona and Alex.

Oh Ramona. She walks over to Luann and Luann tells her that her divorce was finalized today. So, in typical bipolar Ramona fashion, she forgets the earlier lying incident and embraces Luann. Oh good LORD! I love it. Ramona then shifts attention to Kelly and asks her if she's getting her breast re-done again, because she'd read that somewhere. Luann informs us that you do not ask someone if their breasts are fake. I don't think she did, Luann. She asks if they got them re-done. Either way, Kelly is totally offended. Me thinks thou doth protest too much. Kelly everyone knows that you had a boob job. Who cares? The girls are all cat fighting about it and Kelly says that she's a private person and doesn't want to talk about personal things. I see Ramona's point, though, Kelly is posing NAKED for Playboy with her boobs out for everyone to see. The assumption will be that she had her boobs done again. As Kelly storms off to the elevators, she seriously looks like a football player in drag with that damn fur vest!

See you next week!!