"Hot Off the Press"
BETHENNY
Bethenny gets an email that she and Jill are in the Daily News and the article refers to them as "frenemies". Bethenny is insulted because they are too old to have frenemies...they aren't 26 anymore. JEESH. Well, I think you guys should stop acting like it then. This show is like a reality show about cliques in high school. Bethenny figures out - pretty easily - that Jill and Luann orchestrated the article. It gives shout-outs to Jill and Sak's Fifth Avenue and Ungaro - who Luann threw the party for last week. Hmmm.
Bethenny is especially pissed because Perez Hilton reached out to her saying that Jill was talking all kinds of smack about her. I love Perez, but I'm with Bethenny. I wouldn't want him to know ANYTHING about me.
KELLY
Kelly is being interviewed for the article accompanying her photos in Playboy. Kelly is such a dork. She told him she was nervous because he is SO GOOD LOOKING. He's alright, but not hot. Kelly is so weird. She is so flirty. OMG. In her interview with us, she looks like an oompa loompa. Holy tanning addiction! Then he asks if she's into yoga or meditation. She says she's more of a reader so he asks what she's read lately. She tells him that she reads what her kids are reading. Um, aren't they 5 and 8? He tells her that he read a great book by a Swedish author called "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo". Kelly responds that she doesn't have any tattoos and then tells us that she needs to brush up on her foreign literature. She's so dumb. That's a super popular book and anyone who is a "reader" would have at least heard of it. My book club is reading it right now.
She is just flirty and laying it on THICK. This guy is kind of a nerd, so he's SUPER stoked that she called him "so good looking" and has been flirting with him the whole time. So he asks her out on a date and she is just giddy giddy giddy. I know that he wants to date her because he thinks she's hot and he's seen naked pictures of her. But she's SO DUMB. Men are disappointing.
LUANN
Victoria is sketching on the couch and Luann says that she can try to get Victoria a "staj" or what we Americans call an INTERNSHIP. Seriously? You can just say that you'll try to get her an internship, you need to say "staj" to show her and us that you are the most pretentious woman in NY? Mission accomplished. Then, Victoria asks how she would get to the city - since they live in the Hamptons now - and Luann says that she's still looking for an apartment in the city and hopefully, they'll have one by then. I'm sure she got a HUGE settlement in the divorce, so she has plenty of cash to buy a place in Manhattan. And the pretentiousness continues....She tells us that as much as she loves the Hamptons, she really needs to get something in the city, too. She needs a "piet a terre". UGH. She's so obnoxious.
Victoria asks her mom about her dating life and Luann tells us that it's simply too soon - and I'm sure inappropriate - to discuss her dating life with the children. Victoria tells her that "Papa has obviously moved on and I think you should, too." OUCH! Luann is glad to have Victoria's blessing. Although, I don't think it has mattered considering the rumors in NYC about Luann's sex life.
JILL
Ally - Jill's daughter - made friends with some of the people at Seventeen and has been asked to be in their issue about finding the perfect prom dress for your body type. I'm guessing Ally is the "curvy" body type. I really like Ally. She seems cool. They give her a dress and she goes off to get ready. Kelly shows up to give support to Ally in another FUR VEST! So ugly.
Jill felt all proud that Kelly was "with her" and all the Seventeen mag people were impressed. Dumb. Ally finishes the shoot and goes to get dressed. Kelly tells Jill about the HOT journalist and how nervous she got. OMG. He's really not hot. He's short and kind of nerdy, which I would LOVE. But Kelly wants rich and she says that he's smart. Jill says that smart is good because they will always have money. Oh jeez.
ALEX
Alex meets up with her "day gay" - Derek - and Alex is on the board of Brooklyn Fashion Weekend. So they are picking a designer for the event. Alex invited Bethenny, Ramona and Kelly to join them to get other perspectives about designers and fashion. The theme is "Manhattan goes to Brooklyn". Ramona is sitting next to Kelly and Kelly says "she says mean things to me and now she's acting like my best friend." So, naturally, Bethenny asks what mean things. Ramona tells them that she speaks without thinking and asks Kelly if she wants her to repeat what she said. Kelly says no and Ramona asks why she brought it up at all. Good point.
Bethenny apologizes to the girls because they are being put in the middle of this whole Jill/Bethenny debacle and the article in the Daily News. Alex asks Bethenny if she "planted it" and Bethenny flat out denies it and says it has Jill written all over it with the events and such. Ramona tells Bethenny not to attack when the person is not present - although she allowed Jill and Luann to attack Bethenny when Bethenny wasn't there. Ramona says she hates being put in the middle and tells us that she can't believe Jill would stoop that low.
Kelly gets mad that Bethenny is acting all innocent and tells Bethenny that Jill is doing exactly what Bethenny always does. Kelly says that Bethenny is super mean and does that kind of stuff to everyone else all the time. Wow. Way to honor that truce, Kelly. They fight back and forth and Ramona finally YELLS for them to STOP. Then Alex says enough is enough. She tells them that she invited them to talk about fashion for Brooklyn Fashion Week and if they want to fight, they can leave. You go, girl! They decide to act like adults and talk fashion.
They see some of the designs. Bethenny says she didn't see anything that she would wear. I concur. Although I rarely see things at fashion shows that I would wear.
RAMONA
Ramona is having lunch with her friend, Joni. She just keeps talking about her "renewal". The hair, her relationship with Mario, her life. She says that her father's death brought about this renewal. Ramona talks about her awful childhood with her dad. It's very sad and explains a lot about how she is who she is. Then she says she made peace with him two weeks before he died. She totally breaks down at the table. Very sad.
KELLY
Kelly tells her assistant about the "hot" journalist. But then, upon reflection, Kelly decides that she can't date "just anyone", so she's going to cancel. She reminds us that she was married to Gilles Bensimon who is is super famous and amazing and important. So, the next guy she dates seriously needs to be that caliber. I mean, duh, right? Don't date someone smart and nice. Date an ego maniac asshole. Why not?
OMG. Jill is in HIGH SCHOOL. Kelly gets an email from Jill saying that a little birdie told her that Kelly was all good with Bethenny now. Jill goes on to say that she thought Kelly cared and wishes her luck with Bethenny because she'll need it. Seriously??? OMG. Jill was one of my favorites last year, but she has seriously taken a turn for the worst. JILL NEEDS TO GET A HOBBY.
JILL
Luann comes over to Jill's condo to stay for the weekend. Luann brought her a wine glass that says "Go Big or Go Home" on it. Bethenny decides to call Jill to settle this fight. Jill answers and talks to her and puts it on speaker so Luann can hear. Bethenny asks if she's alone and Jill says no - even though Luann tells her to lie. Jill says that she has "friends" over, but doesn't specify Luann. They start talking and Bethenny says she just wants to talk about how this small argument got so huge and now includes so many people. Jill says that's not important and that she wishes Bethenny the best. Jill goes on to berate Bethenny for not even calling Bobby to ask him about his surgery, his battle with cancer, etc. So basically, Jill is pissed that Bethenny didn't do enough in her eyes. What Jill doesn't understand is that people deal with serious illness in different ways. I have friends who have parents who are very ill and they get offended when people don't ask about their parents. I also have friends who get offended when people DO ask about their parents. I think Jill is so incredibly self-absorbed.
Jill continues to berate Bethenny for not visiting Bobby and not calling him DIRECTLY. Then they fight more about how Bethenny was not a good friend and Bethenny yells how she was right about Jill needing a hobby and then Jill says "We are done. Have a nice day." and hangs up. Jill was only acting like that because she had an audience. What a bitch. Good riddance. That's what I say. Bethenny doesn't need a leech like Jill in her life. Let Luann have her.
I feel bad for Bethenny because she's so sad about it. But she's so much better off. Her life is fantastic right now and she's happy, she doesn't need Jill dragging her down and making her feel bad.
Now Jill and Luann are laughing and rehashing the conversation. HIGH SCHOOL I really hate those two...and, I might be way too invested in this show. I feel that I need to get a hobby because I really can't stand those women and I want to call Bethenny and tell her that she is so much better without them.
See you next week.
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