"Fashion and Fighting"
BETHENNY
Jason comes over to Bethenny's place and she's in her bathrobe chilling out after the Jill Stuart fashion show. Bethenny recounts the Jill drama to Jason and tells him this "thing with Jill" is far greater than she initially thought. The conversation falls to Luann where Bethenny says Luann is working her last nerve. Then Bethenny tells us that she has an etiquette tip for Luann: "Mind your own beeswax!" Agreed.
Jason says that he needs to talk serious. He says that the living situation is not working for him. He's at her house 100% of the time, but all of his stuff is at his house. He tells her that before they even step foot in "their" apartment, he will make a commitment to her. I'm guessing she said that if he wants to live together, he better put a ring on it! You go, Bethenny!! I've got the same rule!
KELLY
Kelly is at the Pamela Roland show that she's hosting and Luann is there. They are trying to figure out if Kelly should introduce Luann as the Countess or not. UGH. So f-ing pretentious. Anyhow, Luann asks Kelly if she knew that Bethenny was going to be there and Kelly says yes, in her clueless way. The only two shows that Bethenny never misses are Jill Stuart and Pamela Roland. Immediately Luann comments to Bethenny that she's really coming to A LOT of shows this season unlike in the past. Bethenny tells her that she always goes to two shows every year: Jill Stuart and Pamela Roland. Luann sounds surprised and Bethenny walks away. Luann is annoying. You can't just say "Hi, nice to see you." and be done??
Kelly, Luann and Lisa Rinna (??) are taking pictures together and Bethenny walks up. As they are posing, Luann says that her earlier comments were not a "dig" at Bethenny. Bethenny disagrees and starts in on Luann. Luann is clearly embarrassed and tells Bethenny that this isn't the time or the place to have this conversation and she looks around to see if anyone is watching. Bethenny is fired UP. While I hate doing it, I might have to agree with Luann that a fashion show is not the time or the place for a fight. It may not be holy like church, but there are lots of cameras and people around...just inappropriate. But, I also understand that Bethenny is NOT HAPPY.
Bethenny tells Luann that she's telling her to her face that Luann has been giving her digs every time they see each other. Luann denies it and then brings up Jill! WHY?? Luann tells Bethenny that she thought it was strange that she hasn't seen Jill for FOUR MONTHS and yesterday, Bethenny acted like she had seen Jill last week. Bethenny asks Luann why it's any of her business and that Luann and Jill aren't even friends. Luann says that she and Jill are very good friends. Bethenny says - not sure I would have gone there - that's funny because all last year Jill was telling anyone who would listen that Luann sleeps around. Zing! Bethenny finishes with "I don't like you. I don't trust you. I think you are a snake. And I'm telling you to your face." Zing! Wow.
Luann was totally shocked and taken aback. Bethenny reiterated that she thinks Luann is sneaky, untrustworthy and competitive and that all her complements are little digs. Luann is just speechless and mumbles something and then they all sit down. Kelly is sitting between Bethenny and Luann. Luann tells Kelly how foul Bethenny is and that Bethenny called her a cheating skank. Bethenny calls her out for talking about her right in front of her and clarifies that she called her a SNAKE not a skank. Luann tells us how shocked she was at Bethenny's behavior. It's so not how a Countess would act ... although, two housewives have called Luann out on sleeping around and cheating on the Count last year. I'm pretty sure that's not too ladylike either.
Kelly asks Bethenny to switch places so she can sit next to Lisa Rinna, you know, since they are old friends. Whatever. Kelly is so clueless. She just saw this major blowout between Bethenny and Luann and now she's asking Bethenny to switch spots with her so that Bethenny will be sitting right next to Luann. Kelly = Clueless.
Bethenny interviews that she wanted to get out of there. She hated herself and Luann for what happened. The one thing she regretted saying was that Jill was not Luann's friend. That was catty, I agree. The show is FINALLY OVER. Bethenny is looking for an entire box of wine to consume and Kelly asks Luann if she's ok. Oh, now you care. You totally made her sit next to Bethenny so you could be a celebrity whore and sit next to Lisa Rinna, who is D-list at best.
RAMONA
Ramona takes Avery to Fashion Week with her. Ramona is surprised to see Kelly. Kelly immediately asks her why she wasn't invited to Ramona's Labor Day party. Ramona gives her excuses, but she shouldn't have to. Don't be fake. Own it. You don't like her. It's ok. I don't either. Kelly bitches in an interview that Ramona gave a long-winded monologue about why she couldn't invite Kelly, but she should have just said "I didn't want you there." If that's really what you wanted to hear, then you shouldn't have asked because you obviously already knew the answer!!! Dumb.
So after the show, Kelly tells Ramona that she needs to leave right away because she's taking Jill to a Perez Hilton party. OMG! I wanna go!! Ramona calls her out for not inviting her! Touche! Kelly ends up inviting Ramona and Ramona thinks she's being nice by accepting. This I'm not sure about: Ramona puts her 14 year old in a cab and sends her home alone. I didn't grow up in a big city and I'm not sure I would do the same thing. If I had a driver who I knew, I'd send my kid home alone, but a random cab? Really? Weird.
They all meet Perez Hilton at the party for the launch of his new website: Cocoperez.com!! Then, Kelly decides to fill Jill and Ramona in on the drama at the Pamela Roland show. Why Kelly?? Is it really necessary. Oy! Jill butts in and tells the story from Luann's perspective. WTF? Ramona tells us that she's not taking sides. This is a new Ramona, she will just listen to each person before making any judgments.
BETHENNY
Bethenny is having a sort of promotional event at the Robert Verdi Lounge. She's serving her skinny girl margaritas there for Fashion Week. Alex shows up and they sit and chat about the week's events. Bethenny lays it all out and then Alex says that she, too, has a problem with Jill because of the digs by her and Luann about her son crawling up some guy's leg. As they are wrapping up the convo, Kelly walks in. They toast and Kelly makes some stink about not wanting the margarita. She finally tries it and Bethenny makes some joke about taking prozac and lithium. Kelly doesn't get that it's a joke. Dumbass. Bethenny tells us that she doesn't think Kelly is a moron...really? 'Cuz I do. Kelly says that she was hoping that coming and supporting Bethenny was gesture by Kelly to put the past behind them. Kelly says that she's going to continue to make an effort to be nice to Bethenny, but she does NOT trust her.
I think it's funny that it's Jill/Luann vs. Bethenny and Alex, Ramona and Kelly are being the neutral friendly ones!
JILL
Jill is shooting the cover of her book "Secrets of a Jewish Mother" that she wrote with her mom and sister. Her sister, Lisa, and her mom are just complaining and whining about all of it. OY VEY!
RAMONA
Bethenny and Ramona meet for drinks. Bethenny fills her in and Ramona is standing firm and not taking sides. Good for her!
JILL
For Fashion Week, Jill has decided to host a party at Sak's for her fabulous girlfriends. Jill needs to go to her room to have her hair done - she's at her house, btw - and Luann shows up. So now Luann and Gloria - Jill's mom - are chatting on the coach. How fun for Jill's mom. Every season, Jill gets a new friend.
Gloria asks what Luann's been up to and Luann vaguely says that she's been really busy. Hmmm, doing what exactly? It's not like she has a job. Then Gloria asks about the kids and how they are taking "things". Luann says that they are great and it's been tough, but today is a big day because her divorce is finalized today! Wow. Way to drop the bomb on poor Gloria.
Luann and Jill show up at Sak's. Ramona comes in and says hello to the girls. In her effort to stay neutral, Ramona tells us that she thought Jill was banned from Sak's for returning too many clothes after she'd worn them. Zing! I love Ramona.
Jill tells a group of ladies that she's wearing an Alexander McQueen dress. (insert eye roll here). Ramona - again, love her - tells us that the dress reminded her of Jill's apartment: too much metallic and stuff going on. HA! Jill takes a group to the Sak's private club. She's just way too much. I would say Jill and Luann fit the classic Narcissist profiles. Oh wait, there may be another member ... Kelly walks in wearing a really short dress and a ...wait for it ... fur vest. WTF? First, it's UGLY. Second, it's not even functional because it covers her shoulders and that's about it. Dumb.
Alex and Simon show up and start looking at clothes. Ok, wait. How is Sak's being "so generous" by letting Jill host a dinner party at their store? A customer wants to invite all her wealthy NYC wannabes to Sak's for the night to SHOP after hours! I think Jill is the generous one.
Simon is talking to Luann and somehow Mario's name comes up and Ramona suddenly appears. I think she's pissed that they are STILL talking about Mario, so Ramona just fires off at Luann. She tells Alex and Simon that Luann didn't want them at her party. Luann denies that she said that but Ramona is standing firm. Ramona says that Luann is trying to be chummy with Alex and Simon and she just said a few weeks prior that she didn't want them at her party. Ramona says that she's upset because the Countess is lying. Wouldn't be the first time.
Alex decides to confront Jill about the comment regarding her son. Jill gives the whole "who me?" face and tells us that she did nothing wrong and, btw, this was so not the time or place. What is she doing, reading the Countess's book of manners?? Jill says that she didn't even see the boy do it, Luann was the one who saw it. Alex has a total meltdown. Jill is apologizing up the wazoo and you know she's just trying to get Alex to stop and go away. Alex starts crying that she let's all the stupid shit Jill says go, but when she talks about her kids, it just made her so angry. I feel back for Alex. I see what she's saying. Jill and Luann with all their digs finally made her explode. Jill interviews that she felt bad because she knew that Alex was upset and it wasn't just about the kid comment.
They hug it out and then Alex says that she wants to talk to Luann and get to the bottom of it. Jill tells Alex to call Luann over and confront her. Then, in a not-such-a-good-friend move, she tells Alex that if Jill gives Luann a heads up, Luann will think of something to say to get her out of it, but if Alex just calls her over, she'll have no idea. Hmmm. So, Luann comes over and admits that she saw the boy crawl up the guy's leg. Alex is confused, but tells us that both Jill and Luann are bugging her at this point. I smell Team Bethenny for both Ramona and Alex.
Oh Ramona. She walks over to Luann and Luann tells her that her divorce was finalized today. So, in typical bipolar Ramona fashion, she forgets the earlier lying incident and embraces Luann. Oh good LORD! I love it. Ramona then shifts attention to Kelly and asks her if she's getting her breast re-done again, because she'd read that somewhere. Luann informs us that you do not ask someone if their breasts are fake. I don't think she did, Luann. She asks if they got them re-done. Either way, Kelly is totally offended. Me thinks thou doth protest too much. Kelly everyone knows that you had a boob job. Who cares? The girls are all cat fighting about it and Kelly says that she's a private person and doesn't want to talk about personal things. I see Ramona's point, though, Kelly is posing NAKED for Playboy with her boobs out for everyone to see. The assumption will be that she had her boobs done again. As Kelly storms off to the elevators, she seriously looks like a football player in drag with that damn fur vest!
See you next week!!
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