"Dueling Labor Day Parties"
BETHENNY
Bethenny and Jason are at the Pink Elephant in Southampton waiting for Ramona and Mario to join them. They finally show up and they all sit. Bethenny says that she had an interesting meeting with LuAnn and Ramona tells the group about her altercation with the Countess on the yacht. Ramona says that Jill chimed in and she ultimately felt "verbally raped" by them. Hmmm...interesting choice of words, Ramona. I can't say I agree with that assessment, but I will agree that she was somewhat attacked by Jill and LuAnn for the comment by Mario. Now it's Bethenny's turn. She says that LuAnn came to meet Bethenny with guns blazing. Bethenny: "She lost a husband and grew a penis." She continues that LuAnn was all about being "proper" and used to tell Bethenny that she shouldn't give her number to men, but LuAnn and her husband were always giving their number out to people. Wow. Who knew? LuAnn and the Count were swingers??? Very interesting...
Ramona turns to Jason and says that Bethenny talks SO FAST. Ramona says that she used to talk fast, but that she's become mellow. Ramona changes the subject and decides that they should have a good time and dance. These four are probably my favorites this season. I get that Bethenny is a little self absorbed right now with her business and her love life, but she's entitled. She works really hard and she finally found love. Good for her. Jason seems like a great guy and they are an adorable couple. Ramona, to me, is not quite as mellow as she is claiming to be, but I still really like her. I think she and Mario are a really good looking couple and good people. I'm Team Ramona and Team Bethenny so far this season.
LUANN
Rosie - LuAnn's former housekeeper/nanny/cook/etc. - comes to visit LuAnn and the kids. I always felt so sorry for Rosie. LuAnn is SO incredibly condescending and always treated Rosie like a maid. Which, to be fair, she kind of was. But LuAnn likes to pretend like she's so cool and good to everyone. LuAnn claims that Rosie had to quit because they moved to the Hamptons permanently and Rosie could not commute that far. I think Rosie was probably relieved to quit. She has found another gig and, I gotta say, she looks FANTASTIC and about 10 years younger than she did when she was working for LuAnn. Rosie talks to the kids for a bit and then just she and LuAnn talk. LuAnn tries to tell us that she and Rosie are "friends" not just ex-employer/ex-employee. Whatever. You know Rosie came all the way out to the Hamptons because LuAnn is probably paying her so she would seem more "down with the common folk". Besides who has friends who call them "Mrs. __". Dumb.
Victoria, LuAnn's daughter, broke her wrist while "fooling around on the balcony and falling off the roof". OR she was drunk and fell. This scene makes me uncomfortable because I feel so bad for Rosie. I hope she's getting paid for this appearance. LuAnn tells Rosie that she misses her cooking. They are SO NOT FRIENDS.
RAMONA
Ramona and Mario are really making the rounds. Tonight it's dinner with Alex and Simon. Fun! OMG. Mario and Simon are wearing the SAME WHITE LINEN SUIT. WHO wears a WHITE SUIT?? More specifically, what straight man wears a white linen suit?? So random. I can totally see Simon wearing one, but Mario?? Maybe he just wanted to make Simon feel more comfortable? Simon is wearing what appears to be a peach floral shirt under his suit, while Mario is wearing a hot pink shirt under his white suit. These men are ridiculous. Where do they think they are? Miami?
Simon totally teases Ramona and tells her she looks like a young Cameron Diaz. Ramona thinks he's serious and totally eats it up. Oh, Ramona. So Ramona can't remember if she invited Simon and Alex to her Labor Day lunch party on Monday, so SHE ASKS ALEX IF SHE WAS INVITED. Ok, I love Ramona, but that is Tacky with a capital "T". Um, I can't remember if I invited you to my party. Did I? Dumb. Alex says no so Ramona, two days before the party, insists that Alex and Simon come to her lunch party. That is really tacky. But, since Simon and Alex clearly have nothing better to do, they agree to come. Ramona is telling Alex and Simon who is coming and then she gets to LuAnn. She tells them that LuAnn isn't coming because she's mad at Mario. Mario just rolls his eyes and says that LuAnn needs to get off her high horse. AGREED. Mario decides he's going to call and leave LuAnn a voicemail. He says that he's looking forward to seeing her at the lunch and hopes she will come despite being upset with him. He's happy to talk to her about the issue at the party. And...scene.
LUANN
The Countess and Jill have breakfast out on the covered porch at LuAnn's house. Jill gushes that LuAnn is the best host EVER. Their relationship is sort of pathetic. Jill sold her Hampton's house and needs a place to stay. Conveniently, newly single and desperately lonely LuAnn is living in the Hampton's full time, so Jill will be her best friend so she and her daughter and recovering husband can all stay with LuAnn to keep her company. Ew.
Jill wants to talk about the Labor Day party at Ramona's tomorrow. Jill is feeling anxious because she doesn't want to go. Specifically, she won't go if LuAnn is not going. Seriously? Is this high school? LuAnn tells Jill about Mario's voicemail. Because Mario failed to apologize, LuAnn is NOT GOING. Jill agrees and tells us that Mario could have solved this whole ordeal if he just apologized. Basically if Mario does what we tell him to do, then it's over and we can go on.
Jill decides to call Ramona to tell her that she's not going to the party. Jill says that she's trying to stay out of LuAnn and Mario's beef. Ramona says that LuAnn is RUDE. Jill tells Ramona to have a little empathy because LuAnn is single and alone. Ouch. LuAnn doesn't look like she loved that. Ramona has decided NOT to be empathetic and instead says: "She's been a slut the whole time she's been married. So let's just cut the bullsh*t. You know, please, okay, she's never been alone and single, okay." OH DANG! Ramona continues and Jill mouths that she's going to hang up, but then doesn't. I'm sorry, but if someone was badmouthing my "friend" like Ramona just did to LuAnn, I would have hung up IMMEDIATELY. Especially since they are on national TV! The only thing Jill says is that she doesn't agree. WTF? I would have stopped her before she said anything else disparaging on TV. Jeez. Ramona goes on and then says that LuAnn has badmouthed her a lot. THIS finally pisses Jill off and she yells to Ramona to stick to one subject. Does that mean go back to calling LuAnn a slut? I'm confused.
Jill apparently changes the subject ENTIRELY and says that Mario should have apologized for hurting LuAnn's feelings and this would have been done. Ramona says that LuAnn is creating drama because "she's rude." I understand Jill's point that Mario should just apologize and be done with it, but WHY yell at Ramona about it. It has nothing to do with her. This is such a stupid fight. At the risk of completely offending Jill, I agree with Bethenny...Jill needs to get a hobby and one that does not include fighting other people's battles or interfering in other people's drama. GOOD LORD.
Ramona agrees to tell Mario to apologize to LuAnn and the conversation ends. Jill tells us that she had no idea Ramona would react like she did and if she knew, she never would have put it on speaker. BULLSH*T!! Of course she would have put it on speaker. She certainly didn't turn the speaker off when Ramona started in on LuAnn. Jill says that she thinks people who have problems with other people's marriages have problems in their own house. While that may be true, I also think that people who interfere with other people's drama are attention seeking Narcissists who are bored with their own lives.
LuAnn is pleased by Jill's loyalty to her. GET OVER YOURSELF. They are talking in the kitchen and LuAnn tells Jill about her drink date with Bethenny. She says that she needed to put an end to the snarkiness behind her back. OH LUANN. Speaking of Narcissists, LuAnn tells Jill that Bethenny started shaking, NOT because she was attacked from the moment she walked in the bar and was put on the defensive, but because Bethenny knew that she was wrong. Oh good LORD!
BETHENNY
Jason and Bethenny are out enjoying drinks together. He's very sweet and such a great match for Bethenny. He tells her she looks great. Jason says that the Summer is ending and they need to work on the living situation. He tells her he wants them to live together because he knows she's the one he wants to be with. Sweet. They are very cute together.
RAMONA
It's Labor Day and Ramona is preparing for the party. She enlists Avery, her daughter, to help with the preparations. Avery thinks Ramona needs to chill out since there are only 8 confirmed guests - she seems to be unsure whether LuAnn and Jill will show up. Really? Even I know they aren't coming. Come on, Ramona. You know better. She gives Jill WAY too much credit and thinks Jill will tell LuAnn that she's making a mountain out of molehill and to get over it already. Oh, Ramona.
LuAnn and Jill decide to have their own Labor Day party and invite Kelly to come join them, since Kelly has no friends. Kelly shows up and has a BIG SECRET. She, Jill and LuAnn go sit at a table so Kelly can share the news. LuAnn is convinced that Kelly got arrested again. HA. No such luck. Kelly has been asked to be on the cover and have an article written about her in PLAYBOY'S 40th Anniversary Issue. Kelly is going to do it and wanted the girls to hear it from her first. Not to be overshadowed, LuAnn runs to get the picture of her when she was on the cover of Playgirl. Seriously, LuAnn, get over yourself. Jill and LuAnn are very supportive of Kelly and, for the first time ever, I'm sure, Kelly feels like she has friends. Don't get to comfortable Kelly, these ladies will cut you. Of course, Jill tells us that if she were in Kelly's shoes, she would've turned it down. Ha.
They all go inside to eat and Kelly tells Bobby - and LuAnn's kids - that she's going to be in Playboy's 40th Anniversary Issue. Bobby tells everyone that he has EVERY issue of Playboy from 1969 to 1998 and they are in mint condition in his mother's basement. Um, TMI. NO ONE needs to know that kind of information, Bobby. No one. Awkward.
Jill turns the conversation to Ramona's party. I don't why she's surprised that Ramona didn't invite Kelly. Why would she? Do they even talk? So dumb.
RAMONA
Bethenny and Jason are the first guests to arrive at the party. Ramona tells them who's coming. Bethenny feels a little uncomfortable about seeing Alex and Simon because Alex had sketched a logo for Bethenny's Skinny Girl brand, but Bethenny went a different direction and didn't end up using it. So she just felt like it might be a little awkward with Alex. Alex and Simon arrive. Ok, it's so weird when Alex does interviews from her RED living room. ]She looks like she's in a bordello. Sorry, I digress.
Bethenny immediately takes Alex aside and tells her that she really appreciates all the hard work that Alex did with the logo, but she decided to go a different direction. Alex was shocked that Bethenny just came out and said that and appreciated the gesture.
They sit down and eat lunch. "Jennifer" who is Ramona's friend and also a friend of Jill's starts telling Bethenny why Jill is hurt and how Bethenny hurt Jill and that Jill is a wonderful person. Bethenny interviews: "Who are you? Are you the caterer? What are you talking to me for?" HAHA. She's got a point. Who is this woman to tell Bethenny what she needs to do. Bethenny feels blindsided. Simon and Mario say that Jill is very jealous of Bethenny. Jill's new best friend is LuAnn and Bethenny thinks Jill is freaking out because Bethenny knows a lot of stuff that Jill has said about LuAnn.
Alex tells Ramona that she told LuAnn she would stop by and see her and Jill before heading back to NYC. Ramona is annoyed and essentially tells Alex to stay at her party and not go to LuAnn's. Alex feels very caught in the middle. I actually think Alex is enjoying this. In the past, no one liked Alex and Simon and they were both ignored. This season everyone is fighting for Alex and Simon to be on their side. They are remaining neutral so that they can be everyone's friend. HA. Alex is convinced and calls Jill to tell her that she can't gracefully get away because Ramona's party is SO SMALL. Jill asks for gossip and Alex is very diplomatic. Jill and LuAnn are annoyed, but tell her it's fine and then bitch about it after they get off the phone. UGH.
Until next time...
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