"Fall in Manhattan"
LUANN
Luann and her daughter, Victoria, are driving into the city. Luann is hosting some Ungar event and she and the kids love coming into the city now that they are "based" in the Hamptons. Victoria is unsure how she feels about Kelly doing Playboy. Luann thinks that Victoria is genuinely concerned about Kelly's kids, but I think Victoria is 14 and generally uncomfortable with the idea of her mother's friend being naked in a magazine. Btw - it's totally disturbing to see Victoria with casts on both of her hands/wrists from her "fall" from the balcony of their home. I hope she's talking to someone. I feel bad for her. She's a sweet kid.
OMG. Leave it to Luann to make everything about her. She asks Victoria how she would feel if Luann did Playboy. Victoria says that she doesn't think she'd have a problem with it and knows that her friends thinks Luann is hot. Instead of continuing to explore VICTORIA'S feelings, Luann asks what her friends say about her. OMG. Seriously? You're more concerned about what 14 year olds say about you than how your own daughter is feeling?? I really feel bad for Victoria. I couldn't imagine growing up with a mom who is so completely self-absorbed.
KELLY
Kelly tries to talk to her girls about Playboy. Those girls are hysterical. Her younger daughter says that Kelly's a good mom because she works hard for them and Kelly thinks that's insulting somehow. Kelly is dumb. Then the younger girl says "If you can't say something nice, talk to the boobies cuz the head's off duty." HAHAHAHA. I love it. That is so awesome. The older daughter doesn't really seem to care or say much about it. That little one is a firecracker. She tells Kelly that she has no problem if she's wearing a dress or clothes and that's it...end of story. "No more words." Hahaha. Kelly tells us that she doesn't really care what her daughters think because she knows they will love her no matter what. And if her daughters want to pose for Playboy, she would support them in a second. This is really what's wrong with the world today.
BETHENNY
Bethenny is giving a speech at the Learning Annex. She is hysterical. I feel like we would be friends.
JILL
Bobby gets a call from the doctor that he's all cancer-free and Bobby is good. What a relief! I'm totally tearing up. As annoying as Jill is so far this season, I never would wish disease or illness on anyone in any way. I'm really happy to hear Bobby is good.
KELLY
Kelly is doing her photo shoot for Playboy. Kelly's photographer asks her if the other girls are jealous and Kelly says no because they all have their own things. He tells her that Bethenny did a shoot for Peta the other day. Kelly says that she - Kelly - wears fur, but she wasn't even asked. No, Kelly, you weren't. Peta is a respectable company doing good things for the world with a great message. Playboy is ... well, the "Girls Next Door". Need I say more?
Kelly tells us that there's no comparison between Peta and Playboy. She says that Playboy is being the ultimate sex symbol. No one - except me - is trying to compare the two, Kelly. Insecure much?
LUANN
Luann is hosting an event a Ungaro. Jill shows up and Luann asks her if she saw "Lindsey Lohan's mom." Really? Jill says that she's friends with "Dina" because she used to date a friend of Jill's. Luann tells us that she wears a lot of Ungaro and they asked her if she would host the Fashion Night Out Party and she, of course, agreed. Kelly is there, too. And, the social climbers, Alex and Simon come, too. They brought their gay friend, who - I agree with Jill - was a little over the top. Alex says that he's her "during the day, gay" or her "Day Gay" and Jill points at Simon and says "he's the night ... one". HA. Simon clarifies that there's the "Day Gay" and he's the "Night GUY." Yeah, right.
Kelly walks up. She's so weird. Jill decides to tell the story of when Alex and Simon's kids started climbing up some guy's leg. Alex has no idea what they are talking about and seems a bit annoyed by the story. Jill changes the subject and wants to know what went down at Ramona's house. Luann just wants to know if Alex is on her team or not. Alex says that she's the only one who is friends with everyone. Kelly tells Alex that she's going to be in Playboy. Kelly says that she's so relieved that Luann and Jill are so supportive. Alex just smiles. I think she's ok with it, too, because she had naked pictures of herself circulated a couple years ago. Jill tells US that she has mixed feelings about the Playboy thing because Kelly has two young girls and they are going to be horrified when they see their mom naked in a magazine. Luann says that Demi Moore and a bunch of other celebrities have done it so it's totally ok. Yeah, except Kelly is not a movie star...she's on a stupid reality show about spoiled, entitled, self-absorbed drama queens.
Alex reminds us how she was judged pretty harshly by Luann and Jill when nude photos of her surfaced on the internet. Alex was pretty shocked that Luann and Jill were so supportive of Kelly. I guess because Kelly is getting paid and it's Playboy, the naked is ok.
JILL
Jill met a psychic and brings her and Luann to her house to meet each other. She tells Luann that she needs to be open minded. Some people have entirely too much money and time on their hands. Who has a psychic?? ("Who told you that? Your psychic partner?" HAHA.) The psychic tells Luann that she'll meet a banker whose name starts with a "J" and he will be the love of her life. Luann says that it's so crazy because she likes someone right now whose name starts with a "J" ("N!! Newstand! He works at a NEWSTAND!!") Jill decides she needs some attention and wants to talk about Bethenny. She says that she felt like Bethenny abused her and she just let it happen. ugh. This psychic is CLEARLY working for Jill. She says that Bethenny will talk to anyone who will listen to her to absolve her guilt. Bethenny is feeling guilty about being on top of the world because of destroying relationships with all of those people who helped her get where she is. Um, not true. Bethenny was on the rise when she met these people. MAYBE Jill helped her build up her self-esteem and confidence, but that's it. What the hell does Jill know about cooking and writing books?
Oh God. Again with the "hobby" message. This time, Jill plays it for us.
"Hi, it's Bethenny. You really need to get a hobby. I have to be honest with you. Find something to do with your time other than pick battles. Okay...honestly. It's absurd. I did nothing wrong. You wanna say what's really bothering you. Then say what's really bothering you. Because you know what? I've had it. I've told every person in New York. I wrote it in front of my ..."
Jill stops it and tells them that she thinks they get it. I actually think that it's out of context. It's not like Bethenny just woke up one morning and decided to leave this message for no reason. Who knows what Jill did that Bethenny is reacting to. Seriously. Of course, the Countess thinks that it was really nasty. The psychic is desperately trying to put something together that will sound like something Jill wants to hear so she can get paid. I agree with Bethenny. If you are having an ex-Countess and a frikkin' PSYCHIC over to your house in the middle of a weekday, I think you DO need to find a hobby. Jill obviously has entirely too much time on her hands if this is how she is spending her days.
Jill feels like she made a deposit in the "friendship bank" and Bethenny took the money and ran. That's such bullshit. Seriously. I can't believe how invested I'm getting in this stupid show, but I'm so fired up right now. Jill, you have no life. Bethenny came along and she became your project. She was your new BFF. Then Bethenny got herself together, got working and built up her self-esteem and didn't really need to be "fixed" anymore so she moved on. Then, Jill moved on to take care of Bobby and now he's fixed. So now she's moved onto Luann, who is single and lonely and clearly needs friends.
BETHENNY
They are celebrating at Tenjun for Jason's birthday which is where they met. His friends show up to celebrate. Bethenny admits that it's hard to celebrate a life moment without Jill. She misses her. I get that. It's hard to lose a friend.
RAMONA
Ramona and Mario are at the Legend Ball which celebrates all the hall of famers in tennis. Jill is there. Jill HAS to start in immediately and asks Mario why he just couldn't say "sorry". Mario says that he didn't do anything and he certainly didn't say anything TO Luann. I mean, what is happening? Who cares? Are we really STILL talking about this? It's over. Move on. Is it going to really make an impact if Mario agrees to say "sorry" now because everyone is telling him to? Just let it go. OY VEY PEOPLE.
KELLY
Jill goes over to Kelly's apartment to visit. Her house is crazy and whacky like Kelly. She has a huge fake horse in the room. Jill needs to call her out, so she says that she was confused about Kelly saying she was going to be on the 40th Anniversary issue since Playboy has been around for more than 40 years. Kelly clarifies that it's the 50th Anniversary of the Playboy Bunny COSTUME, not the mag. OMG. Who cares? Really.
ALEX
Alex tells Simon about Jill's "story" about the boys climbing up some guy's leg. Alex tells us that it bothers her when people knock other people's parenting skills. They keep talking and send the boys into the other room. It's so funny because as they keep talking shit about Jill and Luann, the boys keep yelling "Now daddy?" HA. Alex says that Luann just follows Jill and does whatever she says and then Alex says "You know Jill likes the underdog." Then it's like Alex has an epiphany and yells that Luann just got divorced so SHE's the UNDERDOG!!! Duh.
JILL STUART FASHION SHOW
Jill, Luann and Bethenny are all at the show. They all kiss kiss and say hi. Bethenny leaves Jill and Luann and goes upstairs. Then Jill and Luann over-analyze the 5 second encounter as they wait for Kelly to show up. They all sit together for the show. Bethenny walks up to Jill after the show and asks Jill if she's ok because everyone keeps telling her that Jill is upset with her. Jill says she doesn't want to talk about it at the show. Jill says, "Last time I heard from you, you told me to get a hobby and that's what I've done. I got a hobby". She forgot to add - "her name is Luann."
Bethenny says that picking fights with everyone shouldn't be a hobby, so yes, she did need to find another hobby. They start fighting back and forth and Kelly breaks it up and pulls Jill away. Luann stays to represent Jill and continue fighting with Bethenny. I do think that Jill and Bethenny should talk it out WITHOUT Luann and Kelly around. Luann tells Bethenny that she heard the message and it was very snotty. Bethenny didn't realize that this thing with Jill was such a mess, but she now realizes it's much bigger. Luann getting involved doesn't help. Jill is so trying to be the victim. She needs to stop hanging out with Luann and Kelly and GET A REAL HOBBY!!
See you next week!
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