Only three women left: Tenley, Gia and Vienna. WHO WILL WIN JAKE'S HEART?? Well, the rumor is that it will be Vienna and, at first, I was really upset. But then I thought about it more and realized that Jake is a total DORK. If he wants Vienna, take her!
Last week, Ali left to go back to work.
All three ladies are in St. Lucia for their last one on one dates!! It's absolutely gorgeous there. Jake takes us through all the time he's spent with each of the girls. Of course, he can see himself with all three of them. FILLER. Jake says that he misses Ali and wonders if she thinks it was worth it to leave. Ali has been doing very poorly since she left. She decided that she made the wrong choice.
JAKE & GIA
Their date is on Pigeon Island in St. Lucia. It is amazing there. They climb around the island and then take a boat back to the mainland and get some food. Jake is so frickin' cheesy. It's kind of annoying. They both talk about how amazing the date is going and they make out the whole date. He can totally see himself marrying Gia.
Gia goes back to the hotel to change. They meet back up again and have dinner on the beach. Jake tells Gia that she's drop dead gorgeous, but that she's also very "deep". Really, Jake? Deep? He just keeps pouring on the affection. This show is kind of cruel except that the girls know what they're getting into. It's just so demoralizing and devastating to make out with a guy and have him tell you how wonderful you are and then not pick you at the end. Especially since most of the girls are so emotionally broken.
Fantasy suite time. Gia is totally game and says she's totally down for the fantasy suite. They take a bubble bath together - with their swimsuits on, of course. It's gotta suck to be the third date because if he sleeps with all these girls, I would think that he'd be exhausted by day 3.
TENLEY & JAKE
They are on Rodney Beach in St. Lucia. He's so excited to see Tenley because they have SO MUCH in common: same values, same views on marriage, same everything!! Jake takes Tenley flying around the island. They land the plane and have a picnic in the rain forest. These two are so frickin' cheesy together. He should really end up with her. They are absolutely perfect together.
They find a black sand beach and jump in the water. It's kind of creepy. He's in the water kissing Tenley exactly how he did with Gia the day before. Weird. They change and meet up again at Le Sport for dinner. It's beautiful there. I think I found my next vacation spot. He knows how important dance is to her so he asks her to dance. Dumb. I'm sorry. I'm so not a cheesy, sappy person. Jake is so over the top with praise and affection for all of these girls. I'm sure they each think he's going to pick them.
Fantasy suite time. They go swimming and then spend the night together. She's a super fragile girl since she's just getting over a divorce. AND Jake knows she's only been with ONE GUY. If he actually sleeps with her and doesn't pick her in the end, he's a dick.
VIENNA & JAKE
She's so masculine. I just do not think she's an attractive girl. I'd probably think differently if she didn't bleach her hair that ridiculous yellow color. OMG. Enough with the "On the Wings of Love" muzak. They are going for a boat ride aboard the pirate ship used in Pirates of the Caribbean. They make out and laugh and drink the whole time. They go back to the beach and make out in the sand.
They change and meet again for dinner. Jake is concerned that his attraction to Vienna is just physical. WTF? Are you kidding? Then he asks her questions to figure out if he likes HER, too. But the questions are so generic and what's she supposed to say? I think I'd be a horrible wife? C'mon, Jake. Then he asks her what kind of ring she wants. She tells him she wants a thin band with a princess cut diamond and some bling around it. Wow. PLEASE DON'T PICK HER.
Vienna tells him that she's in love with him. He says that he loves that about her - that she's so direct and tells him exactly how he feels. UM, Tenley said the SAME THING!!
And they make out and go up to the fantasy suite and have sex. Gross. OMG. She totally put on a nightie when they go up to the suite. Ew.
NEXT DAY
Jake gets a call from a very regretful and desperate Ali. She made the wrong choice and she wants to come back. She's apologizing and saying she made a mistake. I feel sort of embarrassed for her. He basically tells her that he doesn't want her to come back and ... he cries. Ugh. OMG. In her interview she looks ROUGH. She says she will forever regret her decision. Don't, Ali. Seriously. You'll find someone ten times better than Jake. He's not cool enough for you.
Jake and Chris talk about Ali and the remaining girls. Just pick two already!! All three of them are lined up and Vienna looks so ugly compared to the other two. AND it's not just because she looks like a tranny mess. It's also because she's a train wreck waiting to happen.
First Rose: TENLEY!
Second Rose: VIENNA!
Gia is going home. I feel so sad for her. He tries to talk to her, but she doesn't want to hear it. It's so patronizing for him to still be telling her how awesome she is. Just let her go already. So lame. He totally has this constipated look on his face while he's talking to her. I feel really bad for her.
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