Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 4

"Fashion and Fighting"

BETHENNY

Jason comes over to Bethenny's place and she's in her bathrobe chilling out after the Jill Stuart fashion show. Bethenny recounts the Jill drama to Jason and tells him this "thing with Jill" is far greater than she initially thought. The conversation falls to Luann where Bethenny says Luann is working her last nerve. Then Bethenny tells us that she has an etiquette tip for Luann: "Mind your own beeswax!" Agreed.

Jason says that he needs to talk serious. He says that the living situation is not working for him. He's at her house 100% of the time, but all of his stuff is at his house. He tells her that before they even step foot in "their" apartment, he will make a commitment to her. I'm guessing she said that if he wants to live together, he better put a ring on it! You go, Bethenny!! I've got the same rule!

KELLY

Kelly is at the Pamela Roland show that she's hosting and Luann is there. They are trying to figure out if Kelly should introduce Luann as the Countess or not. UGH. So f-ing pretentious. Anyhow, Luann asks Kelly if she knew that Bethenny was going to be there and Kelly says yes, in her clueless way. The only two shows that Bethenny never misses are Jill Stuart and Pamela Roland. Immediately Luann comments to Bethenny that she's really coming to A LOT of shows this season unlike in the past. Bethenny tells her that she always goes to two shows every year: Jill Stuart and Pamela Roland. Luann sounds surprised and Bethenny walks away. Luann is annoying. You can't just say "Hi, nice to see you." and be done??

Kelly, Luann and Lisa Rinna (??) are taking pictures together and Bethenny walks up. As they are posing, Luann says that her earlier comments were not a "dig" at Bethenny. Bethenny disagrees and starts in on Luann. Luann is clearly embarrassed and tells Bethenny that this isn't the time or the place to have this conversation and she looks around to see if anyone is watching. Bethenny is fired UP. While I hate doing it, I might have to agree with Luann that a fashion show is not the time or the place for a fight. It may not be holy like church, but there are lots of cameras and people around...just inappropriate. But, I also understand that Bethenny is NOT HAPPY.

Bethenny tells Luann that she's telling her to her face that Luann has been giving her digs every time they see each other. Luann denies it and then brings up Jill! WHY?? Luann tells Bethenny that she thought it was strange that she hasn't seen Jill for FOUR MONTHS and yesterday, Bethenny acted like she had seen Jill last week. Bethenny asks Luann why it's any of her business and that Luann and Jill aren't even friends. Luann says that she and Jill are very good friends. Bethenny says - not sure I would have gone there - that's funny because all last year Jill was telling anyone who would listen that Luann sleeps around. Zing! Bethenny finishes with "I don't like you. I don't trust you. I think you are a snake. And I'm telling you to your face." Zing! Wow.

Luann was totally shocked and taken aback. Bethenny reiterated that she thinks Luann is sneaky, untrustworthy and competitive and that all her complements are little digs. Luann is just speechless and mumbles something and then they all sit down. Kelly is sitting between Bethenny and Luann. Luann tells Kelly how foul Bethenny is and that Bethenny called her a cheating skank. Bethenny calls her out for talking about her right in front of her and clarifies that she called her a SNAKE not a skank. Luann tells us how shocked she was at Bethenny's behavior. It's so not how a Countess would act ... although, two housewives have called Luann out on sleeping around and cheating on the Count last year. I'm pretty sure that's not too ladylike either.

Kelly asks Bethenny to switch places so she can sit next to Lisa Rinna, you know, since they are old friends. Whatever. Kelly is so clueless. She just saw this major blowout between Bethenny and Luann and now she's asking Bethenny to switch spots with her so that Bethenny will be sitting right next to Luann. Kelly = Clueless.

Bethenny interviews that she wanted to get out of there. She hated herself and Luann for what happened. The one thing she regretted saying was that Jill was not Luann's friend. That was catty, I agree. The show is FINALLY OVER. Bethenny is looking for an entire box of wine to consume and Kelly asks Luann if she's ok. Oh, now you care. You totally made her sit next to Bethenny so you could be a celebrity whore and sit next to Lisa Rinna, who is D-list at best.

RAMONA

Ramona takes Avery to Fashion Week with her. Ramona is surprised to see Kelly. Kelly immediately asks her why she wasn't invited to Ramona's Labor Day party. Ramona gives her excuses, but she shouldn't have to. Don't be fake. Own it. You don't like her. It's ok. I don't either. Kelly bitches in an interview that Ramona gave a long-winded monologue about why she couldn't invite Kelly, but she should have just said "I didn't want you there." If that's really what you wanted to hear, then you shouldn't have asked because you obviously already knew the answer!!! Dumb.

So after the show, Kelly tells Ramona that she needs to leave right away because she's taking Jill to a Perez Hilton party. OMG! I wanna go!! Ramona calls her out for not inviting her! Touche! Kelly ends up inviting Ramona and Ramona thinks she's being nice by accepting. This I'm not sure about: Ramona puts her 14 year old in a cab and sends her home alone. I didn't grow up in a big city and I'm not sure I would do the same thing. If I had a driver who I knew, I'd send my kid home alone, but a random cab? Really? Weird.

They all meet Perez Hilton at the party for the launch of his new website: Cocoperez.com!! Then, Kelly decides to fill Jill and Ramona in on the drama at the Pamela Roland show. Why Kelly?? Is it really necessary. Oy! Jill butts in and tells the story from Luann's perspective. WTF? Ramona tells us that she's not taking sides. This is a new Ramona, she will just listen to each person before making any judgments.

BETHENNY

Bethenny is having a sort of promotional event at the Robert Verdi Lounge. She's serving her skinny girl margaritas there for Fashion Week. Alex shows up and they sit and chat about the week's events. Bethenny lays it all out and then Alex says that she, too, has a problem with Jill because of the digs by her and Luann about her son crawling up some guy's leg. As they are wrapping up the convo, Kelly walks in. They toast and Kelly makes some stink about not wanting the margarita. She finally tries it and Bethenny makes some joke about taking prozac and lithium. Kelly doesn't get that it's a joke. Dumbass. Bethenny tells us that she doesn't think Kelly is a moron...really? 'Cuz I do. Kelly says that she was hoping that coming and supporting Bethenny was gesture by Kelly to put the past behind them. Kelly says that she's going to continue to make an effort to be nice to Bethenny, but she does NOT trust her.

I think it's funny that it's Jill/Luann vs. Bethenny and Alex, Ramona and Kelly are being the neutral friendly ones!

JILL

Jill is shooting the cover of her book "Secrets of a Jewish Mother" that she wrote with her mom and sister. Her sister, Lisa, and her mom are just complaining and whining about all of it. OY VEY!

RAMONA

Bethenny and Ramona meet for drinks. Bethenny fills her in and Ramona is standing firm and not taking sides. Good for her!

JILL

For Fashion Week, Jill has decided to host a party at Sak's for her fabulous girlfriends. Jill needs to go to her room to have her hair done - she's at her house, btw - and Luann shows up. So now Luann and Gloria - Jill's mom - are chatting on the coach. How fun for Jill's mom. Every season, Jill gets a new friend.

Gloria asks what Luann's been up to and Luann vaguely says that she's been really busy. Hmmm, doing what exactly? It's not like she has a job. Then Gloria asks about the kids and how they are taking "things". Luann says that they are great and it's been tough, but today is a big day because her divorce is finalized today! Wow. Way to drop the bomb on poor Gloria.

Luann and Jill show up at Sak's. Ramona comes in and says hello to the girls. In her effort to stay neutral, Ramona tells us that she thought Jill was banned from Sak's for returning too many clothes after she'd worn them. Zing! I love Ramona.

Jill tells a group of ladies that she's wearing an Alexander McQueen dress. (insert eye roll here). Ramona - again, love her - tells us that the dress reminded her of Jill's apartment: too much metallic and stuff going on. HA! Jill takes a group to the Sak's private club. She's just way too much. I would say Jill and Luann fit the classic Narcissist profiles. Oh wait, there may be another member ... Kelly walks in wearing a really short dress and a ...wait for it ... fur vest. WTF? First, it's UGLY. Second, it's not even functional because it covers her shoulders and that's about it. Dumb.

Alex and Simon show up and start looking at clothes. Ok, wait. How is Sak's being "so generous" by letting Jill host a dinner party at their store? A customer wants to invite all her wealthy NYC wannabes to Sak's for the night to SHOP after hours! I think Jill is the generous one.

Simon is talking to Luann and somehow Mario's name comes up and Ramona suddenly appears. I think she's pissed that they are STILL talking about Mario, so Ramona just fires off at Luann. She tells Alex and Simon that Luann didn't want them at her party. Luann denies that she said that but Ramona is standing firm. Ramona says that Luann is trying to be chummy with Alex and Simon and she just said a few weeks prior that she didn't want them at her party. Ramona says that she's upset because the Countess is lying. Wouldn't be the first time.

Alex decides to confront Jill about the comment regarding her son. Jill gives the whole "who me?" face and tells us that she did nothing wrong and, btw, this was so not the time or place. What is she doing, reading the Countess's book of manners?? Jill says that she didn't even see the boy do it, Luann was the one who saw it. Alex has a total meltdown. Jill is apologizing up the wazoo and you know she's just trying to get Alex to stop and go away. Alex starts crying that she let's all the stupid shit Jill says go, but when she talks about her kids, it just made her so angry. I feel back for Alex. I see what she's saying. Jill and Luann with all their digs finally made her explode. Jill interviews that she felt bad because she knew that Alex was upset and it wasn't just about the kid comment.

They hug it out and then Alex says that she wants to talk to Luann and get to the bottom of it. Jill tells Alex to call Luann over and confront her. Then, in a not-such-a-good-friend move, she tells Alex that if Jill gives Luann a heads up, Luann will think of something to say to get her out of it, but if Alex just calls her over, she'll have no idea. Hmmm. So, Luann comes over and admits that she saw the boy crawl up the guy's leg. Alex is confused, but tells us that both Jill and Luann are bugging her at this point. I smell Team Bethenny for both Ramona and Alex.

Oh Ramona. She walks over to Luann and Luann tells her that her divorce was finalized today. So, in typical bipolar Ramona fashion, she forgets the earlier lying incident and embraces Luann. Oh good LORD! I love it. Ramona then shifts attention to Kelly and asks her if she's getting her breast re-done again, because she'd read that somewhere. Luann informs us that you do not ask someone if their breasts are fake. I don't think she did, Luann. She asks if they got them re-done. Either way, Kelly is totally offended. Me thinks thou doth protest too much. Kelly everyone knows that you had a boob job. Who cares? The girls are all cat fighting about it and Kelly says that she's a private person and doesn't want to talk about personal things. I see Ramona's point, though, Kelly is posing NAKED for Playboy with her boobs out for everyone to see. The assumption will be that she had her boobs done again. As Kelly storms off to the elevators, she seriously looks like a football player in drag with that damn fur vest!

See you next week!!

Amazing Race 16 - Episode 7

Big Bro went home last week. :( Six teams remain. Let's find out who will be eliminated next!

The Cops are the first to depart the Champagne region of France at 12:35 AM.

FIRST CLUE: Teams must now travel to the Seychelles, a chain of 15 islands in the Indian Ocean. Due to it's exotic location, teams will all be on the same flight. If that's true, then why are they departing from the Pit Stop at different times. Dumb. Once they arrive, they will have to search for a kiosk and grab a number and their first clue.

The Cops and Team Lez know what the Seychelles are. Baseball, Cowboys, Twins and Models have no idea. The Cops and Cowboys go grab some breakfast while the remaining teams get seats close to the front of the plane! Good thinking.

All teams make their way to Mahe, Seychelles. It's a race to find the kiosk!

NEXT CLUE: Teams must now travel by helicopters to the Island of La Digue. After the first 3 teams depart in three helicopters, the remaining teams will depart one hour later.

The Models arrive first followed by Baseball and the Twins. They will be the first teams on the helicopters. They take off and arrive in La Digue and receive the next clue.

DETOUR: "Turtle Toddle" or "Ox Trot". In Turtle Toddle, Teams use a banana to lure a giant, 100 year old tortoise across a field. Then, they will each have to carry a huge bunch of bananas 1.5 miles to the harbor and find the fruit merchant who will give them their next clue. In Ox Trot, Teams must bring a cart into an area where they will load it up with coconuts without losing any cargo. When they are all loaded up, an ox will be attached to their cart and they will have to travel to the harbor where the fruit merchant will give them their next clue.

The remaining teams are bitterly waiting for the helicopters so they can head to the island. Team Lez says that the 3 strongest teams are having to wait while the weak teams get ahead. Um...I'm not sure I'd agree. I think Cowboys are strong and the Cops have just gotten lucky. But, Team Lez is not one of the strongest teams. I will say that The Models got lucky on this round and are usually one of the weaker teams, but Twins and Baseball are pretty strong.

Models choose Ox Trot. Baseball chooses Turtle Toddle because the tortoise beat the hare and Steve has never met an ox he could trust. Ha. Twins pick Ox Trot while the remaining teams head to the island. The Models finish loading up their cart...BUT one of the coconuts didn't make it onto the cart so they lost one of their cargo. We'll see what ends up happening. Jeez, aren't the Models the ones who said they needed to really concentrate and pay attention to details?? This is the third time they've missed a really important detail.

Baseball gets the tortoise across the field and head to the harbor with their bunches of bananas to get the next clue. They totally pass the Models are their way. BUT they left their backpacks at the tortoise spot. I hope someone takes their packs to them. The Twins finish filling up their cart and make sure they got all the coconuts! The Cops arrive on the helicopter and choose Ox Trot, while Team Lez chooses Turtle Toddle. After taking a huge crap, the ox pulling the Twins' cart takes them to the harbor. HAHA. Cowboys arrive and choose Ox Trot.

Baseball arrives at the harbor and receives their next clue.

NEXT CLUE: Teams will now take a boat to St. Pierre Island where the boat captain will give them their next clue.

Baseball makes it on the boat. Twins pass the Models and head to the boat. The Models are pissed because the merchant tells them that they don't have enough coconuts. I guess someone gave him the heads up about the one that didn't make it on the cart. Eeek.

Baseball sees the Twins with their backpacks and realize that they left their backpacks behind. They figure that they are gone for good. I hope not. Allie is freaking out so Steve asks what she wants to do. Meanwhile, Brent has decided to quit because he cant figure out what went wrong and why they aren't getting a clue.

They have their passports and money, so Allie just sucks it up and decides she doesn't need the backpack. Brent decides to stop whining and they get back on the cart to take it back and see what the hell went wrong. Caite is crying because she thinks it's UNFAIR that they have to go back. Whatever...PAY ATTENTION!! Baseball makes it to St. Pierre and gets the next clue.

ROADBLOCK: Teams must now head underwater. One team member must find a submerged case of seven bottles, figure out how to untie them and then bring one of the seven bottles up to the surface. Teams will them work together to assemble a map that they get out of the bottle. Once on shore, the map will lead them to the PIT STOP!!

Team Lez gives up on the tortoise and heads to the Ox Trot instead. Steve is diving for Baseball. He easily grabs a bottle and they head to shore. Jordan dives for the Twins and finally rescues the bottle.

The Models make it back and see their coconut. They grab it and head back to the harbor. Team Lez shows up and grabs a cart. The Cowboys are finished, but they left a coconut on the ground!!!! Oops.

Baseball swims to shore, puts together their map puzzle and runs to the Pit Stop as Twins are arriving on shore.

BASEBALL is the 1st Team to arrive at the Pit Stop. For their prize, 7-UP is giving them dinner on the beach, massages and $7K each.

TWINS are the 2nd Team to arrive at the Pit Stop.

The Cops and the Models swim out the boats for the Roadblock. Meanwhile, Cowboys are told that they don't have all their coconuts. Team Lez makes the SAME MISTAKE!!! They leave a coconut behind. They pass the Cowboys and feel all superior because they aren't last anymore. Low and behold, they arrive at the harbor to discover that .... they did the SAME THING. They bitch at each other the entire way back to the coconuts. Bicker, bicker.

Brent dives for The Models and easily grabs the bottle. Next is Mike for the Cops and he brings back his bottle. Cord is next for the Cowboys. Cops and Models swim to shore. Team Lez finally makes it onto a boat after retrieving the stray coconut. Brandy easily dives and brings back the bottle. They are making it seem like Team Lez is right behind the Cowboys, but they are farther behind than it appears.

The Models and Cops work together to figure out the puzzle and find the Pit Stop.

Models are the 3rd team and Cops are the 4th team to the Pit Stop. Phil asks who the Cops would like to see go and they say Team Lez because they are negative. Caite chimes in and says that they are mean and she brings up that Team Lez made a comment in the beginning asking where Caite's tiara is. OMG. Caite just keeps talking and talking and talking and finally says that she wants them to go, too. 'Cuz she's only been in a few pageants, y'all. Jeesh! HAHAHA! Brent says "From what I hear, it's pretty anonymous." Everyone looks at him confused. Then Phil says "Unanimous?" Brent says "YEAH. That's what I meant." Dumb.

The Cowboys swim to shore WITHOUT THEIR BOTTLE. OMG. Details, people!! Seriously! They are the 5th team to arrive at the Pit Stop, but Phil tells them that they will have to retrieve the bottle from the boat and take out the contents of the bottle and bring them to the Pit Stop before they can be checked in.

Halfway to the boat, Cowboys see Team Lez pull up in their boat. HOLY CRAP! Maybe it will be a race to the finish. C'mon Cowboys!!

DAMN!

Team Lez is the 5th team to arrive at the Pit Stop. BOO.

The Cowboys are the last team to arrive at the Pit Stop. YAY!! It's a non-elimination round!! WOOT!

See you next week!

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 3

"Fall in Manhattan"

LUANN

Luann and her daughter, Victoria, are driving into the city. Luann is hosting some Ungar event and she and the kids love coming into the city now that they are "based" in the Hamptons. Victoria is unsure how she feels about Kelly doing Playboy. Luann thinks that Victoria is genuinely concerned about Kelly's kids, but I think Victoria is 14 and generally uncomfortable with the idea of her mother's friend being naked in a magazine. Btw - it's totally disturbing to see Victoria with casts on both of her hands/wrists from her "fall" from the balcony of their home. I hope she's talking to someone. I feel bad for her. She's a sweet kid.

OMG. Leave it to Luann to make everything about her. She asks Victoria how she would feel if Luann did Playboy. Victoria says that she doesn't think she'd have a problem with it and knows that her friends thinks Luann is hot. Instead of continuing to explore VICTORIA'S feelings, Luann asks what her friends say about her. OMG. Seriously? You're more concerned about what 14 year olds say about you than how your own daughter is feeling?? I really feel bad for Victoria. I couldn't imagine growing up with a mom who is so completely self-absorbed.

KELLY

Kelly tries to talk to her girls about Playboy. Those girls are hysterical. Her younger daughter says that Kelly's a good mom because she works hard for them and Kelly thinks that's insulting somehow. Kelly is dumb. Then the younger girl says "If you can't say something nice, talk to the boobies cuz the head's off duty." HAHAHAHA. I love it. That is so awesome. The older daughter doesn't really seem to care or say much about it. That little one is a firecracker. She tells Kelly that she has no problem if she's wearing a dress or clothes and that's it...end of story. "No more words." Hahaha. Kelly tells us that she doesn't really care what her daughters think because she knows they will love her no matter what. And if her daughters want to pose for Playboy, she would support them in a second. This is really what's wrong with the world today.

BETHENNY

Bethenny is giving a speech at the Learning Annex. She is hysterical. I feel like we would be friends.

JILL

Bobby gets a call from the doctor that he's all cancer-free and Bobby is good. What a relief! I'm totally tearing up. As annoying as Jill is so far this season, I never would wish disease or illness on anyone in any way. I'm really happy to hear Bobby is good.

KELLY

Kelly is doing her photo shoot for Playboy. Kelly's photographer asks her if the other girls are jealous and Kelly says no because they all have their own things. He tells her that Bethenny did a shoot for Peta the other day. Kelly says that she - Kelly - wears fur, but she wasn't even asked. No, Kelly, you weren't. Peta is a respectable company doing good things for the world with a great message. Playboy is ... well, the "Girls Next Door". Need I say more?

Kelly tells us that there's no comparison between Peta and Playboy. She says that Playboy is being the ultimate sex symbol. No one - except me - is trying to compare the two, Kelly. Insecure much?

LUANN

Luann is hosting an event a Ungaro. Jill shows up and Luann asks her if she saw "Lindsey Lohan's mom." Really? Jill says that she's friends with "Dina" because she used to date a friend of Jill's. Luann tells us that she wears a lot of Ungaro and they asked her if she would host the Fashion Night Out Party and she, of course, agreed. Kelly is there, too. And, the social climbers, Alex and Simon come, too. They brought their gay friend, who - I agree with Jill - was a little over the top. Alex says that he's her "during the day, gay" or her "Day Gay" and Jill points at Simon and says "he's the night ... one". HA. Simon clarifies that there's the "Day Gay" and he's the "Night GUY." Yeah, right.

Kelly walks up. She's so weird. Jill decides to tell the story of when Alex and Simon's kids started climbing up some guy's leg. Alex has no idea what they are talking about and seems a bit annoyed by the story. Jill changes the subject and wants to know what went down at Ramona's house. Luann just wants to know if Alex is on her team or not. Alex says that she's the only one who is friends with everyone. Kelly tells Alex that she's going to be in Playboy. Kelly says that she's so relieved that Luann and Jill are so supportive. Alex just smiles. I think she's ok with it, too, because she had naked pictures of herself circulated a couple years ago. Jill tells US that she has mixed feelings about the Playboy thing because Kelly has two young girls and they are going to be horrified when they see their mom naked in a magazine. Luann says that Demi Moore and a bunch of other celebrities have done it so it's totally ok. Yeah, except Kelly is not a movie star...she's on a stupid reality show about spoiled, entitled, self-absorbed drama queens.

Alex reminds us how she was judged pretty harshly by Luann and Jill when nude photos of her surfaced on the internet. Alex was pretty shocked that Luann and Jill were so supportive of Kelly. I guess because Kelly is getting paid and it's Playboy, the naked is ok.

JILL

Jill met a psychic and brings her and Luann to her house to meet each other. She tells Luann that she needs to be open minded. Some people have entirely too much money and time on their hands. Who has a psychic?? ("Who told you that? Your psychic partner?" HAHA.) The psychic tells Luann that she'll meet a banker whose name starts with a "J" and he will be the love of her life. Luann says that it's so crazy because she likes someone right now whose name starts with a "J" ("N!! Newstand! He works at a NEWSTAND!!") Jill decides she needs some attention and wants to talk about Bethenny. She says that she felt like Bethenny abused her and she just let it happen. ugh. This psychic is CLEARLY working for Jill. She says that Bethenny will talk to anyone who will listen to her to absolve her guilt. Bethenny is feeling guilty about being on top of the world because of destroying relationships with all of those people who helped her get where she is. Um, not true. Bethenny was on the rise when she met these people. MAYBE Jill helped her build up her self-esteem and confidence, but that's it. What the hell does Jill know about cooking and writing books?

Oh God. Again with the "hobby" message. This time, Jill plays it for us.

"Hi, it's Bethenny. You really need to get a hobby. I have to be honest with you. Find something to do with your time other than pick battles. Okay...honestly. It's absurd. I did nothing wrong. You wanna say what's really bothering you. Then say what's really bothering you. Because you know what? I've had it. I've told every person in New York. I wrote it in front of my ..."

Jill stops it and tells them that she thinks they get it. I actually think that it's out of context. It's not like Bethenny just woke up one morning and decided to leave this message for no reason. Who knows what Jill did that Bethenny is reacting to. Seriously. Of course, the Countess thinks that it was really nasty. The psychic is desperately trying to put something together that will sound like something Jill wants to hear so she can get paid. I agree with Bethenny. If you are having an ex-Countess and a frikkin' PSYCHIC over to your house in the middle of a weekday, I think you DO need to find a hobby. Jill obviously has entirely too much time on her hands if this is how she is spending her days.

Jill feels like she made a deposit in the "friendship bank" and Bethenny took the money and ran. That's such bullshit. Seriously. I can't believe how invested I'm getting in this stupid show, but I'm so fired up right now. Jill, you have no life. Bethenny came along and she became your project. She was your new BFF. Then Bethenny got herself together, got working and built up her self-esteem and didn't really need to be "fixed" anymore so she moved on. Then, Jill moved on to take care of Bobby and now he's fixed. So now she's moved onto Luann, who is single and lonely and clearly needs friends.

BETHENNY

They are celebrating at Tenjun for Jason's birthday which is where they met. His friends show up to celebrate. Bethenny admits that it's hard to celebrate a life moment without Jill. She misses her. I get that. It's hard to lose a friend.

RAMONA

Ramona and Mario are at the Legend Ball which celebrates all the hall of famers in tennis. Jill is there. Jill HAS to start in immediately and asks Mario why he just couldn't say "sorry". Mario says that he didn't do anything and he certainly didn't say anything TO Luann. I mean, what is happening? Who cares? Are we really STILL talking about this? It's over. Move on. Is it going to really make an impact if Mario agrees to say "sorry" now because everyone is telling him to? Just let it go. OY VEY PEOPLE.

KELLY

Jill goes over to Kelly's apartment to visit. Her house is crazy and whacky like Kelly. She has a huge fake horse in the room. Jill needs to call her out, so she says that she was confused about Kelly saying she was going to be on the 40th Anniversary issue since Playboy has been around for more than 40 years. Kelly clarifies that it's the 50th Anniversary of the Playboy Bunny COSTUME, not the mag. OMG. Who cares? Really.

ALEX

Alex tells Simon about Jill's "story" about the boys climbing up some guy's leg. Alex tells us that it bothers her when people knock other people's parenting skills. They keep talking and send the boys into the other room. It's so funny because as they keep talking shit about Jill and Luann, the boys keep yelling "Now daddy?" HA. Alex says that Luann just follows Jill and does whatever she says and then Alex says "You know Jill likes the underdog." Then it's like Alex has an epiphany and yells that Luann just got divorced so SHE's the UNDERDOG!!! Duh.

JILL STUART FASHION SHOW

Jill, Luann and Bethenny are all at the show. They all kiss kiss and say hi. Bethenny leaves Jill and Luann and goes upstairs. Then Jill and Luann over-analyze the 5 second encounter as they wait for Kelly to show up. They all sit together for the show. Bethenny walks up to Jill after the show and asks Jill if she's ok because everyone keeps telling her that Jill is upset with her. Jill says she doesn't want to talk about it at the show. Jill says, "Last time I heard from you, you told me to get a hobby and that's what I've done. I got a hobby". She forgot to add - "her name is Luann."

Bethenny says that picking fights with everyone shouldn't be a hobby, so yes, she did need to find another hobby. They start fighting back and forth and Kelly breaks it up and pulls Jill away. Luann stays to represent Jill and continue fighting with Bethenny. I do think that Jill and Bethenny should talk it out WITHOUT Luann and Kelly around. Luann tells Bethenny that she heard the message and it was very snotty. Bethenny didn't realize that this thing with Jill was such a mess, but she now realizes it's much bigger. Luann getting involved doesn't help. Jill is so trying to be the victim. She needs to stop hanging out with Luann and Kelly and GET A REAL HOBBY!!

See you next week!

Amazing Race 16 - Episode 6

Last time we said good-bye to Heidi and Joe thanks to the U-Turn by the Cops. 7 teams remain. Who will be eliminated next?

Teams will now be departing from Verdun, France. The Cops are the first team to depart at 7:47AM and receive the clue.

FIRST CLUE: Teams must drive themselves to the city of Reims and find the Gothic Cathedral. Outside the Cathedral, teams must find the statue of Joan of Arc where a street musician playing a singing saw will give them their next clue.

The Cops take off, followed by Baseball and the Cowboys. Twins and Team Lez depart next and it looks FREEZING in France. These teams all arrive in Reim, but can't figure out where the statue of Joan of Arc is. I guess the clue left out the Cathedral part. So, the teams are asking people on the street where the Joan of Arc statue is. The Twins find a helpful lady who tells them to go to the Cathedral. But they can't figure out what she's saying because of her accent. Dumb. She says it slowly and they repeat "Cathy Drone". Stoo-pid.

The Models and Big Bro are the last teams to leave the Pit Stop and head to Reims. Baseball found a local to take them to the statue. They see the musician right away and get the next clue - a champagne cork.

NEXT CLUE: The local tells them that the name of a Champagne is on the cork, Leclerc Briant in Eperney.

Baseball takes off. The Cops go to the office of tourism and get directions to the statue. The Cowboys reach the statue just as the Cops do. The Cowboys remember seeing a town of Champagne 40 miles down the road so they take off. The Cops aren't taking any chances and decide to go back to the office of tourism. The Cops and the Twins get the directions to Eperney and head out. Jordan asks Dan if you make champagne by just making wine and adding club soda. Um...no. Team Lez finds the statue and heads out to find some champagne.

Jordan (Big Bro) MIGHT be dumber than Caite (the Models). Jordan: "Joan of Arc. He carried all the ..." Jeff: "SHE" Jordan: "Yeah. He carried all the animals." Jeff: "SHE! That was Noah." OMG. Seriously? Jeff laughs at Jordan then says "I wonder why we're in last." Exactly, Jeff.

The Cops and the Twins are the first to arrive a Leclerc Briant. They go in and get the next clue.

ROADBLOCK: "Who's ready to cave in?" One team member will rappel down 100 ft into the caves of the winery. Once in the cave, they must search the hundreds of champagne bottles for one that is specially marked. Then they will use a saber to slice the cork off the bottle. The champagne will shoot out of the bottle along with the next clue.

Jordan (Twins) and Louie (Cops) decide to take on the road block and rappel down the hole. Baseball arrives next and Steve is going to do the road block. Meanwhile, Cowboys discover that they went to the wrong town and need to drive to Eberney. Jordan finds the marked bottle of champagne and slices off the cork.

NEXT CLUE: Taittinger la Marquetterie. Teams must figure out that the Taittinger la Marquetterie is a chateau and winery in the next town where they'll find their next clue. Twins take off.

OMG. Well, Caite is pretty dumb, too. Brent: "Look at that statue. I think that might be it." Caite: "Yeah look at all the animals." Brent: "That could be her right there." Caite: "Joan of Arc is a guy." Brent: "Joan of Arc is a girl. Why do you think her name is Joan?" Caite: "Ok nevermind. I'm thinking of somebody else." Oh good Lord.

The Cops and Baseball finish and head out to Taittinger. Brandy does the Roadblock and is already bitching about doing the "height" thing. Annoying. The Twins go to a tourism spot and are told that it's in Reims. But the Cops are told that it's in Pierry and the guy agrees to take them there. The Models find Joan of Arc, get the cork and head to Leclerc Briant. Brandy is searching for the champagne bottle in the cave. She finds it and Team Lez heads out. Baseball stops and asks a painter where Taittinger is and he says Reims. Hmmm. Maybe the Cops are getting mislead. Oh wait, Team Lez gets directions and is told it's in Pierry.

Cowboys arrive at Leclerc and Cord rappels down. Big Bro finds Joan of Arc and heads to Leclerc. Cord finds the bottle and they get their clue and head to Taittinger. They ask someone who tells them it's in Reims. Weird. Well, it appears that it's in PIERRY. The Cops arrive and find the cluebox.

DETOUR: "Tower" or "Terra". In Tower, teams must use 600 glasses to make a tower exactly 15 levels high with only ONE glass on top. If they do it right, they can fill all the glasses with champagne and receive their next clue. In Terra, teams must search an entire square kilometer of the land for a tiny cluster of grapes marked with race colors. Once they pick their prize, they must give it to the foreman who will give them their next clue.

Cops choose Terra. The Twins are the first to discover that Reims is the wrong spot. Taittinger is there, but the La Marquetterie is the mansion in Pierry. Attention to details.

Brent rappels for the Models and quickly finds the bottle. They get the next clue and head out. Big Bro finally arrives a Leclerc. They are so behind. Jeff decides to do it. Baseball arrives in Reims at the Taittinger place and as they pull in, Steve totally crashes the front bumper. It's totally dented, but they ignore it because it's a race. They go in and discover that they need to get to Pierry. Steve totally screwed up the car and it's dragging. They use duct tape to temporarily fix the problem and continue. Meanwhile, Jeff finds the bottle and he and Jordan head out to Taittinger and get bad directions to Reim.

Mike finds the grapes and The Cops head to the Pit Stop.

PIT STOP: Teams must now make their way across the city to L'Orrca, the Cultural Administration for Champagne, France.

The Cops head out. Cowboys find out that it's the wrong Taittinger and head out to Pierry. The Twins finally arrive at the correct Taittinger and decide to do Tower. Team Lez arrives and chooses Terra.

The COPS are Team #1 at the Pit Stop. They each win a 5 day trip to La Blanc Spa and Resort in Cancun, Mexico.

Team Lez finds the grapes and heads out to the Pit Stop. Baseball arrives at the real Taittinger and chooses Terra. The Models are dumb and see Team Lez and decide to follow them. They think they are awesome because they think they caught up to Team Lez. Little do they know they are being taken to the Pit Stop prematurely. DETAILS, Models!! HAHAHA. They run and see Phil and realize that they missed an entire step. Dumb.

TEAM LEZ is Team #2 at the Pit Stop.

Baseball finds the grapes and heads to the Pit Stop. Models find the right Taittinger and choose Terra. Big Bro realizes that they are at the wrong Taittinger and head to the right one. Cowboys finally arrive at the right Taittinger and choose Terra. The Twins are struggling with Tower, but they keep at it.

BASEBALL is Team #3 at the Pit Stop.

Jet found the grapes and Cowboys head out to the Pit Stop. Caite thinks it's absolutely stupid to look for grapes in this huge space. Little does she know that it will take strategy and balance to do the Tower. The Models are fighting because Caite is passive aggressive and a brat. Caite says that they should have built the tower, but Brent had to make another bad decision. She is annoying. The Twins finish the tower and pour the champagne.

COWBOYS are Team #4 at the Pit Stop.

Success!! The Twins get it done and receive the clue and head to the Pit Stop. Brent decides to shut Caite up so he agrees to do Tower. The Models build their tower and Brent starts pouring...AND, the Tower FALLS breaking dozens of glasses. Brent tells Caite that they are going to look for grapes. Now, she needs to keep her mouth shut and look for grapes. Big Bro arrives at the real Taittinger. They pick Terra ... but then they see the Models and decide to do the Tower instead.

TWINS are Team #5 at the Pit Stop.

Caite finds the grapes!! They head to the Pit Stop. Jeff and Jordan are stacking glasses and end up breaking a bunch before even pouring the champagne. They head out to search for grapes.

MODELS are Team #6 at the Pit Stop.

Jordan FINALLY finds the grapes and they head to the Pit Stop.

BIG BRO is the LAST TEAM and are eliminated. Bummer. I really liked Jeff. :(

See you next week!

Amazing Race 16 - Episode 5

Last time Big Bro was saved by a non-elimination round. Can they do it again?

During the Pit Stop, teams boarded a bus in Hamburg, Germany to an undisclosed location. The Asians are interviewing in the back of the bus about how they are kicking ass despite Joe's bum knee (which he is icing). The Cops keep telling them to keep it down. Heh. The teams arrive in France and the Cops are the first team to depart the destination and receive their first clue.

FIRST CLUE: Teams must drive to Saint Menehould. There, they must find the Boulangerie Defontaine and buy a fresh baguette to receive their first clue.

The Cops find a postal worker who gives them directions to Saint Menehould. Baseball is next to leave and I'm really beginning to like these guys, too. Steve tells us that he's the oldest one left in the race - at 57 - but he feels 25. They get their clue and Steve asks Allie if she knows what a baguette is. She tells him and is surprised that Steve didn't know. Steve tells her that he knew, he just wanted to see if she knew. Allie laughs and says "You didn't know." HAHA. Cute. It's not as funny written out as it is watching it.

The Asians, Team Lez and the Twins all make their way to Saint Menehould. The Cops arrive at the Boulangerie Defontaine, break the baguette in half and pull out the next clue.

NEXT CLUE: Teams must now drive themselves to La Main de Massiges where they'll find their next clue.

Cops take off. The Asians and Baseball get the baguette and the clue and take off. The Models go to a gas station to get directions and, instead of writing them down, Caite thinks she'll remember them...hmmm. Good idea? Not so much. The Cops find La Main de Massiges and get the next clue.

DETOUR: Teams must wear doughboy uniforms (i.e. fatigues) and join their French friends in combat at this famous WWI hill. "In the Trenches" or "Under Fire". In "In the Trenches", teams clamor down into a WWI trench and choose a communication area. Then, with the battle raging around them and with only a field manual, they must translate a message being sent to them in Morse Code. In "Under Fire", teams get on their bellies in a muddy field booby-trapped with barbed wire, and then crawl 100 yards to a machine gun nest. Teams must receive a message from a French soldier and then crawl back 100 yards to safety. In both tasks, teams will attach their message to a homing pigeon who will deliver the message that the war is over. Hmmm.

The Cops choose "In the Trenches" and see that the clue says there will be a U-TURN up ahead. Baseball and the Asians both arrive and both choose "In the Trenches". Joe tells Heidi that his knee will not be a problem with the crawling. Hmmm.

The Cops crawl under the barbed wire while the planes above them are dropping "bombs" and creating huge dust storms. Meanwhile, Big Bro finally leaves and they are already getting lost on the way to the Boulangerie. Just ask for directions!!!

The Cops get the message and head back. Louie is struggling. It's just crawling, right? It can't be that hard. Jeez. Baseball and the Asians pass by them as they make their way to get the message. Twins and Team Lez show up next and they both pick crawl also. It seems to be the popular choice. The Cops complete the detour and receive their next clue.

NEXT CLUE: Head south down the road to receive your next clue.

They walk down the road and reach the U-TURN.

BLIND U-TURN: Teams can choose to "u-turn" another team by forcing them to do the other side of the detour. Because this is a "Blind" u-turn, the team that uses it can remain anonymous.

The Cops decide to U-Turn the Asians, but it's not really "blind" since the Asians know that only the Cops are ahead of them. Who else could it possibly be? Dumb. I'm also not clear that the Cops HAD to U-Turn someone. Weird.

NEXT CLUE: March yourself into town and find the church of Massiges to receive your next clue.

The Models are driving to La Main de Massiges and Brent says "Hey baby, look, they're up in some flying things." Um, they're called AIRPLANES, Brent. These two really are made for each other. They arrive and choose to crawl. Big Bro FINALLY makes it to the boulangerie and gets the clue. The Twins are cracking me up! Jordan decides to jog and pretend that the enemy is after them. Then, as they are crawling, he asks the French soldiers who are shooting if they are ok. He is a riot.

The Asians and Baseball finish the detour and head to the next clue. Baseball gets there first and tells the Asians that someone got them. The Asians are NOT HAPPY. The Asians figure out that it was the Cops because the U-Turn is not so blind. They head out to do the other challenge and Baseball heads to the church of Massiges.

The Cops arrive at the church and receive the next clue.

NEXT CLUE: Teams must now ride 100 year old bicycles in ancient riding gear 4 miles through town to the next Pit Stop.

The Asians try "in the trenches" and mis-translate the message. They head down to listen again. Meanwhile, Brandy (Team Lez) is bitching and moaning the entire time that she has to crawl and get dirty. "This is not what I signed up for." Um, have you seen the Amazing Race before?? It's absolutely what you signed up for. Now shut up and crawl. She's so annoying. I wish they had gotten U-Turned. I don't think the Cops realized that they could have U-Turned ANY team in the race. They just got stuck thinking about Baseball and the Asians because they were right behind them. And they think Joe is annoying.

The Twins, Cowboys and Team Lez finish next and head to get the next clue. The Asians are feeling discouraged as they see more and more teams arriving and finishing.

The COPS are the 1st Team to arrive at the Pit Stop. They each win a 55" HDTV.

BASEBALL is the 2nd Team to arrive at the Pit Stop.

Team Lez is still bitching at each other. That Brandy is a real bitch. Ugh. The Models finish and are trying to figure out if "go south" means to "go south as in a direction or go south as in go that direction." Um, WTF? Go south, means GO SOUTH. Why is that hard?

The COWBOYS are the 3rd Team to arrive at the Pit Stop. And the TWINS are the 4th Team to arrive.

Big Bro FINALLY arrives at La Main de Massiges and they have to do a SPEED BUMP. Why does it seem like they are SO FAR BEHIND. They need to step it up and fast! They are so lucky the Asians got U-Turned.

SPEED BUMP: Big Bro must reinforce a section of a trench using the branches given to them. When the Army General is satisfied that they've completed the reinforcement, they will proceed to the detour.

TEAM LEZ is the 5th Team to arrive at the Pit Stop.

Models go to the bikes. Big Bro is heading to the trenches. Jeff is getting frustrated by whiny Jordan, understandably so. She's annoying...and dumb. They pass the Asians and Jeff gets pumped to see them still working on a task. It means that they are still in the race.

The MODELS are the 6th Team to arrive, BUT they forgot to pick up their clue after the detour. I totally missed that. How did they know to go South down the road?? I missed that. Oh well. They have to go back and get that clue.

Big Bro finishes the Speed Bump and heads to the detour. They decide to crawl like the rest of the teams before them. It's a totally good call for them because Jordan would be terrible at translating Morse Code. Speaking of, the Asians are struggling. They thought they had the right message but were sent back to try again.

Ok, the Models just missed the whole U-Turn/Cluebox. They realize they were not U-Turned, grab the next clue and head back to the Pit Stop. The Asians see Big Bro heading to the other detour and figure they have some more time to translate.

Jeff says that he has a 1 in 8 chance of winning $1 Million. For anyone else he would think that would "put a little hop in your step...but not for Jordan." She is whining and taking her time. Jeff: "Put your boobs on the ground and drag them over here." HAHA. Seriously. Move it, sister.

The Asians try one more time and are defeated. They give up. Big Bro finishes and realizes that the Asians were U-Turned. That totally saved them. If they hadn't gotten that U-Turn, they would have come in 3rd and Big Bro would be eliminated. PHEW. Models get their clue and return on their bikes to the Pit Stop. I think it's funny that the Models keep telling themselves to remember the details and pay attention and TWICE they have missed a detail and had to go back or wait it out.

The MODELS are the 6th Team to arrive at the Pit Stop.

BIG BRO is the 7th Team to arrive at the Pit Stop.

The Asians are the last team and are ELIMINATED from the race.

See you next week.

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 2

"Dueling Labor Day Parties"

BETHENNY

Bethenny and Jason are at the Pink Elephant in Southampton waiting for Ramona and Mario to join them. They finally show up and they all sit. Bethenny says that she had an interesting meeting with LuAnn and Ramona tells the group about her altercation with the Countess on the yacht. Ramona says that Jill chimed in and she ultimately felt "verbally raped" by them. Hmmm...interesting choice of words, Ramona. I can't say I agree with that assessment, but I will agree that she was somewhat attacked by Jill and LuAnn for the comment by Mario. Now it's Bethenny's turn. She says that LuAnn came to meet Bethenny with guns blazing. Bethenny: "She lost a husband and grew a penis." She continues that LuAnn was all about being "proper" and used to tell Bethenny that she shouldn't give her number to men, but LuAnn and her husband were always giving their number out to people. Wow. Who knew? LuAnn and the Count were swingers??? Very interesting...

Ramona turns to Jason and says that Bethenny talks SO FAST. Ramona says that she used to talk fast, but that she's become mellow. Ramona changes the subject and decides that they should have a good time and dance. These four are probably my favorites this season. I get that Bethenny is a little self absorbed right now with her business and her love life, but she's entitled. She works really hard and she finally found love. Good for her. Jason seems like a great guy and they are an adorable couple. Ramona, to me, is not quite as mellow as she is claiming to be, but I still really like her. I think she and Mario are a really good looking couple and good people. I'm Team Ramona and Team Bethenny so far this season.

LUANN

Rosie - LuAnn's former housekeeper/nanny/cook/etc. - comes to visit LuAnn and the kids. I always felt so sorry for Rosie. LuAnn is SO incredibly condescending and always treated Rosie like a maid. Which, to be fair, she kind of was. But LuAnn likes to pretend like she's so cool and good to everyone. LuAnn claims that Rosie had to quit because they moved to the Hamptons permanently and Rosie could not commute that far. I think Rosie was probably relieved to quit. She has found another gig and, I gotta say, she looks FANTASTIC and about 10 years younger than she did when she was working for LuAnn. Rosie talks to the kids for a bit and then just she and LuAnn talk. LuAnn tries to tell us that she and Rosie are "friends" not just ex-employer/ex-employee. Whatever. You know Rosie came all the way out to the Hamptons because LuAnn is probably paying her so she would seem more "down with the common folk". Besides who has friends who call them "Mrs. __". Dumb.

Victoria, LuAnn's daughter, broke her wrist while "fooling around on the balcony and falling off the roof". OR she was drunk and fell. This scene makes me uncomfortable because I feel so bad for Rosie. I hope she's getting paid for this appearance. LuAnn tells Rosie that she misses her cooking. They are SO NOT FRIENDS.

RAMONA

Ramona and Mario are really making the rounds. Tonight it's dinner with Alex and Simon. Fun! OMG. Mario and Simon are wearing the SAME WHITE LINEN SUIT. WHO wears a WHITE SUIT?? More specifically, what straight man wears a white linen suit?? So random. I can totally see Simon wearing one, but Mario?? Maybe he just wanted to make Simon feel more comfortable? Simon is wearing what appears to be a peach floral shirt under his suit, while Mario is wearing a hot pink shirt under his white suit. These men are ridiculous. Where do they think they are? Miami?

Simon totally teases Ramona and tells her she looks like a young Cameron Diaz. Ramona thinks he's serious and totally eats it up. Oh, Ramona. So Ramona can't remember if she invited Simon and Alex to her Labor Day lunch party on Monday, so SHE ASKS ALEX IF SHE WAS INVITED. Ok, I love Ramona, but that is Tacky with a capital "T". Um, I can't remember if I invited you to my party. Did I? Dumb. Alex says no so Ramona, two days before the party, insists that Alex and Simon come to her lunch party. That is really tacky. But, since Simon and Alex clearly have nothing better to do, they agree to come. Ramona is telling Alex and Simon who is coming and then she gets to LuAnn. She tells them that LuAnn isn't coming because she's mad at Mario. Mario just rolls his eyes and says that LuAnn needs to get off her high horse. AGREED. Mario decides he's going to call and leave LuAnn a voicemail. He says that he's looking forward to seeing her at the lunch and hopes she will come despite being upset with him. He's happy to talk to her about the issue at the party. And...scene.

LUANN

The Countess and Jill have breakfast out on the covered porch at LuAnn's house. Jill gushes that LuAnn is the best host EVER. Their relationship is sort of pathetic. Jill sold her Hampton's house and needs a place to stay. Conveniently, newly single and desperately lonely LuAnn is living in the Hampton's full time, so Jill will be her best friend so she and her daughter and recovering husband can all stay with LuAnn to keep her company. Ew.

Jill wants to talk about the Labor Day party at Ramona's tomorrow. Jill is feeling anxious because she doesn't want to go. Specifically, she won't go if LuAnn is not going. Seriously? Is this high school? LuAnn tells Jill about Mario's voicemail. Because Mario failed to apologize, LuAnn is NOT GOING. Jill agrees and tells us that Mario could have solved this whole ordeal if he just apologized. Basically if Mario does what we tell him to do, then it's over and we can go on.

Jill decides to call Ramona to tell her that she's not going to the party. Jill says that she's trying to stay out of LuAnn and Mario's beef. Ramona says that LuAnn is RUDE. Jill tells Ramona to have a little empathy because LuAnn is single and alone. Ouch. LuAnn doesn't look like she loved that. Ramona has decided NOT to be empathetic and instead says: "She's been a slut the whole time she's been married. So let's just cut the bullsh*t. You know, please, okay, she's never been alone and single, okay." OH DANG! Ramona continues and Jill mouths that she's going to hang up, but then doesn't. I'm sorry, but if someone was badmouthing my "friend" like Ramona just did to LuAnn, I would have hung up IMMEDIATELY. Especially since they are on national TV! The only thing Jill says is that she doesn't agree. WTF? I would have stopped her before she said anything else disparaging on TV. Jeez. Ramona goes on and then says that LuAnn has badmouthed her a lot. THIS finally pisses Jill off and she yells to Ramona to stick to one subject. Does that mean go back to calling LuAnn a slut? I'm confused.

Jill apparently changes the subject ENTIRELY and says that Mario should have apologized for hurting LuAnn's feelings and this would have been done. Ramona says that LuAnn is creating drama because "she's rude." I understand Jill's point that Mario should just apologize and be done with it, but WHY yell at Ramona about it. It has nothing to do with her. This is such a stupid fight. At the risk of completely offending Jill, I agree with Bethenny...Jill needs to get a hobby and one that does not include fighting other people's battles or interfering in other people's drama. GOOD LORD.

Ramona agrees to tell Mario to apologize to LuAnn and the conversation ends. Jill tells us that she had no idea Ramona would react like she did and if she knew, she never would have put it on speaker. BULLSH*T!! Of course she would have put it on speaker. She certainly didn't turn the speaker off when Ramona started in on LuAnn. Jill says that she thinks people who have problems with other people's marriages have problems in their own house. While that may be true, I also think that people who interfere with other people's drama are attention seeking Narcissists who are bored with their own lives.

LuAnn is pleased by Jill's loyalty to her. GET OVER YOURSELF. They are talking in the kitchen and LuAnn tells Jill about her drink date with Bethenny. She says that she needed to put an end to the snarkiness behind her back. OH LUANN. Speaking of Narcissists, LuAnn tells Jill that Bethenny started shaking, NOT because she was attacked from the moment she walked in the bar and was put on the defensive, but because Bethenny knew that she was wrong. Oh good LORD!

BETHENNY

Jason and Bethenny are out enjoying drinks together. He's very sweet and such a great match for Bethenny. He tells her she looks great. Jason says that the Summer is ending and they need to work on the living situation. He tells her he wants them to live together because he knows she's the one he wants to be with. Sweet. They are very cute together.

RAMONA

It's Labor Day and Ramona is preparing for the party. She enlists Avery, her daughter, to help with the preparations. Avery thinks Ramona needs to chill out since there are only 8 confirmed guests - she seems to be unsure whether LuAnn and Jill will show up. Really? Even I know they aren't coming. Come on, Ramona. You know better. She gives Jill WAY too much credit and thinks Jill will tell LuAnn that she's making a mountain out of molehill and to get over it already. Oh, Ramona.

LuAnn and Jill decide to have their own Labor Day party and invite Kelly to come join them, since Kelly has no friends. Kelly shows up and has a BIG SECRET. She, Jill and LuAnn go sit at a table so Kelly can share the news. LuAnn is convinced that Kelly got arrested again. HA. No such luck. Kelly has been asked to be on the cover and have an article written about her in PLAYBOY'S 40th Anniversary Issue. Kelly is going to do it and wanted the girls to hear it from her first. Not to be overshadowed, LuAnn runs to get the picture of her when she was on the cover of Playgirl. Seriously, LuAnn, get over yourself. Jill and LuAnn are very supportive of Kelly and, for the first time ever, I'm sure, Kelly feels like she has friends. Don't get to comfortable Kelly, these ladies will cut you. Of course, Jill tells us that if she were in Kelly's shoes, she would've turned it down. Ha.

They all go inside to eat and Kelly tells Bobby - and LuAnn's kids - that she's going to be in Playboy's 40th Anniversary Issue. Bobby tells everyone that he has EVERY issue of Playboy from 1969 to 1998 and they are in mint condition in his mother's basement. Um, TMI. NO ONE needs to know that kind of information, Bobby. No one. Awkward.

Jill turns the conversation to Ramona's party. I don't why she's surprised that Ramona didn't invite Kelly. Why would she? Do they even talk? So dumb.

RAMONA

Bethenny and Jason are the first guests to arrive at the party. Ramona tells them who's coming. Bethenny feels a little uncomfortable about seeing Alex and Simon because Alex had sketched a logo for Bethenny's Skinny Girl brand, but Bethenny went a different direction and didn't end up using it. So she just felt like it might be a little awkward with Alex. Alex and Simon arrive. Ok, it's so weird when Alex does interviews from her RED living room. ]She looks like she's in a bordello. Sorry, I digress.

Bethenny immediately takes Alex aside and tells her that she really appreciates all the hard work that Alex did with the logo, but she decided to go a different direction. Alex was shocked that Bethenny just came out and said that and appreciated the gesture.

They sit down and eat lunch. "Jennifer" who is Ramona's friend and also a friend of Jill's starts telling Bethenny why Jill is hurt and how Bethenny hurt Jill and that Jill is a wonderful person. Bethenny interviews: "Who are you? Are you the caterer? What are you talking to me for?" HAHA. She's got a point. Who is this woman to tell Bethenny what she needs to do. Bethenny feels blindsided. Simon and Mario say that Jill is very jealous of Bethenny. Jill's new best friend is LuAnn and Bethenny thinks Jill is freaking out because Bethenny knows a lot of stuff that Jill has said about LuAnn.

Alex tells Ramona that she told LuAnn she would stop by and see her and Jill before heading back to NYC. Ramona is annoyed and essentially tells Alex to stay at her party and not go to LuAnn's. Alex feels very caught in the middle. I actually think Alex is enjoying this. In the past, no one liked Alex and Simon and they were both ignored. This season everyone is fighting for Alex and Simon to be on their side. They are remaining neutral so that they can be everyone's friend. HA. Alex is convinced and calls Jill to tell her that she can't gracefully get away because Ramona's party is SO SMALL. Jill asks for gossip and Alex is very diplomatic. Jill and LuAnn are annoyed, but tell her it's fine and then bitch about it after they get off the phone. UGH.

Until next time...

Kell on Earth - Season 1 - Episode 5

"Love Hangover"

Kelly walks in the office with some lube for Andrew S. (I'm going to start referring to him as Gay Andrew, even though the other Andrew is gay, too. Andrew S. is just so much "gayer" than Andrew, Kelly's Asst.). Gay Andrew has a blind date coming up so Kelly brought him some lube. No, that's not sexual harassment or anything.

Later, Kelly is at her apartment with Ava and her book editor comes over to work with Kelly on finalizing her book - which I am totally going to buy. They sit and Kelly tells her about her crazy, fantastic, wild life as a PR girl in the early 90's.

PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION

Emily is waiting for some reports from Fashion Week that are past due and she just wants them done and out of the way. Stephanie was working on them, but Emily tells her to pass them to an intern. Stephanie says that there aren't any interns, so she has to do it. Emily says that she can't understand why they aren't done yet and Stephanie tells her it's because she's the only one working on all of them. So Emily says that she told Stephanie to just do one thing, complete it and THEN move onto the next. Stephanie says that priorities are always shifting and she has to stop and shift what she's doing all the time. Emily is frustrated. She tells Stephanie to look at her and she tells her that they have high priority clients that need their wrap reports done. Stephanie tells her that she's not just working on reports. She's also doing pitches for Robyn who keeps asking her for those, too. She's just really overwhelmed. She can't get EVERYTHING done right now. She's doing the job of 5 other people.

Emily interrupts and tells Stephanie to give her all the reports and she will finish them. Stephanie says no and Emily tells her not to argue. Stephanie gets up and says that she needs a minute. She is about to burst into tears. Emily says they need to talk about this right now. Stephanie says that she doesn't want to talk right now. Emily says they need to go through each client and figure out the status and what needs to get done. Emily says she doesn't know as she wipes tears from her face. Emily says that the freaking out has to stop happening. Stephanie looks at Emily and says "Then maybe I shouldn't work here." Damn.

Gay Andrew tells us that Emily doesn't get that no one has slept in over a month and Stephanie is getting the blunt force of Emily's bitchiness right now. Emily whines that she has a million clients and they all need their reports so she needs to know what's going on. Stephanie says that she has a million things on her plate, too, and every 5 minutes someone is bugging her for something and it's never good enough. Emily says that's not true and that Stephanie is overreacting. Stephanie asks to go outside for a minute as she walks out the door.

Stephanie goes outside and calls Kelly. She tells her that Emily is on her case every 5 minutes and she's feeling really overwhelmed and she's totally crying. Stephanie tells Kelly that she can't do all the reports and all the pitches and have Emily turn to her very five minutes and attack her. Stephanie is feeling like "why am I here?" She tells Kelly that she doesn't appreciate being talked to like she's never worked there and like she's some kid off the street. It's bullshit and Stephanie feels under appreciated. I get that.

Kelly tells us that she sees so much good in Stephanie and sees that she could be a great PR woman. But, Stephanie has given so much of her life to the job and Kelly wants her to have a life outside of work. She doesn't want Stephanie to be a casualty of the fashion world. She really respects and likes Stephanie.

Kelly calls Emily next. Emily tells us that she tries not to get too emotional because when you start getting too emotional about things, problems start. I hear her. Emily tells Kelly that she can't deal with the crying and the defensiveness and all she wants are the wrap reports for her clients. Kelly tells us that Emily is a great Publicist and Stephanie could learn a lot from her. I think that it's really all in the delivery. I had a boss once who told me my work was a piece of crap and that I sucked. I think she thought she was being constructive, but in reality, she was just pissing me off and eventually drove me to quit. It's not worth it. As my mother always says to me, "It's not WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it." So true. Emily has to find a better way to get her message across to Stephanie without being a bitch.

Kelly and Assistant Andrew are standing outside the building when a "cute" gay man walks by. Andrew decides to hit on him. He's taking some pictures and walks over to Kelly and Andrew. Kelly compliments his tattoos. Andrew asks him who "Brenda" is on one of his tattoos and he tells him that it's his mom. Ahhh. Kelly asks him if he wants to bring his artwork by sometime and see Andrew. The guy says that he's a musician and Kelly asks him if he's a Gemini. He says he's an Aquarius and Kelly says that's a nice sign. The guy says that his girlfriend doesn't think so. Uh-oh...he's got a girlfriend...OR he's not interested and just said that. Either way, bummer for Andrew. Kelly laughs and says that she thought he was gay. Andrew says that is the problem with NYC, everyone looks like they're gay.

Kelly calls Stephanie back and tells her to talk to Emily and re-prioritize what she's working on. Stephanie realizes that if she wants to stay there, then that's what she has to do. Stephanie walks in and sits next to Emily and says she wants to re-prioritize everything with her. Emily tells her to make a list of what she has to do so Emily can go through it with her. They work it all out and Stephanie feels much better. Yikes.

Gay Andrew is waiting for his blind date at a restaurant. His date walks in and sits down and they both share that they are nervous because it's their first blind date. Gay Andrew tells his date about a game he likes to play on his first dates. Gay Andrew will say a word and he wants the date to say the first word that comes to his mind. Gay Andrew: Sunglasses. Date: Beach. GA: Fork. Date: Spork. Um, ok. GA: Banana. Date: Sexual Education Class. WTH? GA: Dildo. Date: Wood. GA: Lube. Date: uh ... The server brings more wine and I'm hoping that ends the ridiculous game. GA tells us that it went from normal talk to sexual talk and he doesn't really know how that happened. Um, it happened because you said "Dildo" and "Lube" dumbass.

HAHAHA. Kelly and Assistant Andrew show up and totally crash GA's blind date. AWESOME. GA is mortified and wants to know why they are ruining his date when he's trying to GET LAID. Kelly asks how the date is going. GA says it WAS going well until his boss showed up. Kelly tells the date to ask her about her day so he does. Kelly says that it went well and promises she won't mention what she did for GA (the lube). OMG. Kelly just gave me a better name for GA...Tandrew!! HAHA. Because he fake tans so much. I love it. Kelly says that she knows Tandrew was uncomfortable but she doesn't really care. Kelly tells us that she takes on the role of the over-protective father or brother with her employees and all the significant others know that. She wants them to know that they shouldn't screw with her kids.

Stephanie and Emily are at INA MEN, a designer clothes store. Ina Berstein, the owner, is having a party at her shop to get some publicity. People's Revolution is organizing the event. It was a celebration of the opening of the store. They invited fashion people who cover menswear and various other fashion editors. People's Revolution was working with Casa Dragones Tequila to promote the event. The party was going well, the fashion editors were happy and everyone was enjoying the tequila. Ina walks up to Emily and says "We're out of tequila." She's freaking out. Ina is worried that everyone is going to leave.

Emily goes to Stephanie and tells her about the tequila situation. Stephanie calls the tequila company and they tell her to give them 15 minutes to bring more. In the meantime, Emily decides to serve the Proseco that Ina has chilling in the back...unfortunately, Ina tells her that it's all gone, too. So Emily tells her that more Tequila is on the way. Ina tells her that she has more people coming and nothing for them to drink. Emily is way stressed because some of the editors were starting to leave and Ina keeps asking where the tequila is.

Emily decides to go back into the event and make sure all the designers and editors meet Ina to keep them busy. The tequila FINALLY arrives and everyone relaxes. At the end of the day, the event went really well and everyone was happy and Stephanie and Emily worked everything out.

Mary Ellen Mark - the most important photographer EVER - is shooting the cover for Kelly's book. Kelly tells us it's like asking Rembrandt to paint your bedroom. Kelly knows she doesn't photograph well and she doesn't look good on TV. She gets that. AND, she makes no effort to look better because she feels like it's more real to just be yourself. She and Ava now do some pictures together. Kelly tells us that she wrote the book for Ava, too. She wants Ava to have the best life she can give her and that includes, learning all the tools for thinking for yourself and doing your best and doing what you want to do. She wants Ava to be autonomous and to be an empowered young woman. A-MEN.

See you next time.

Amazing Race 16 - Episode 4

Last week we said good-bye to the Moms, Monique and Shawne. Let's find out who will be eliminated next!

The Cowboys are the first to depart Bariloche at 10:57 PM.

FIRST CLUE: Teams must now fly to Frankfurt, Germany, where they must take a train to the city of Hamburg. Once there, teams must race on foot through the busy city to Jungfernstieg Street where they'll find their next clue.

The Cowboys drive into a city and stop at a travel agency. They ask for two tickets to Hamburg and they receive tickets on the "first" flight out at 11:10 AM. I'm surprised the Cowboys don't try to find another, earlier flight. 11:10 seems a little late.

All the teams arrive at the airport and take flights to Germany. Team Lez says that they will work harder to listen to one another and that the word of the day for them is "Respectful". Dan says that he hates traveling but he knows how important this is for Jordan so he's happy he can play a part in making Jordan's dream come true. Aahhh. The Cowboys and the Cops are flying to Frankfurt via Paris, France. Team Lez and the Twins are flying direct to Frankfurt. The Asians, Baseball, Models, and Big Brother are flying via Sao Paolo, Brazil.

The first flight to arrive is the one with the Cowboys and the Cops. The second flight with Team Lez and the Twins arrives about 30 minutes later at 3PM. The Cowboys and the Cops are waiting for the train to Hamburg that leaves at 3:37 PM. Team Lez and the Twins run to make the 3:37PM and they JUST miss it. It pulls away with the Cowboys and the Cops just as they arrive. The last flight arrives at 3:40PM with the rest of the teams. They all get on the next train out to Hamburg.

The Cowboys and the Cops arrive in Hamburg and the Cowboys find the next clue.

INTERSECTION: Each team must mutually agree to join forces with another team to complete the next challenge.

The Cowboys holla out for the Cops to join them in this intersection.

ROADBLOCK: For the first time ever, two people from DIFFERENT teams must work together to complete a daring roadblock. The two new "teammates" must make their way by train to Hamburg Harbor and do a 150 ft bungee jump in the middle of the city. Once they've taken this huge leap of faith together, they'll receive their next clue.

Michael and Jet board the train and head out to Hamburg Harbor. The rest of the teams arrive in Hamburg and find the clue. The Asians and Baseball team up because "we both come from good families"? WTF? Joe and Allie team up and follow some guy they met on the first train to the metro station to Hamburg Harbor. Team Lez and the Twins pair up and Dan and Brandy are doing the jump and head out to the station. That leaves Big Bro and the Models to team up. The girls decide to jump so Caite and Jordan head to the metro.

Jordan is "confused" by the metro because she's blonde, so she lets Caite navigate and, of course, being the scholar in all things geographic, they get on the wrong train going the wrong direction. Caite tries to give us every excuse why the Hamburg metro is far more confusing than the NYC subway system, which she claims to know super well. Whatever.

Michael and Jet arrive at Hamburg Harbor and get ready for their bungee jump. Jet refuses to take off his hat and insists that it will stay on. They jump and ... the hat stays on. Jeez, that thing must be glued to his head. They receive the next clue and take it back to open it with their teammates.

Allie (Baseball) and Joe (Asians) arrive next and do the bungee jump and head back with the clue. Brandy (Lez) and Dan (Twins) arrive after and Brandy is losing her sh*t. She is so freaked out. She better suck it up. Michael (Cops) and Jet (Cowboys) make their way back to their teammates and read the clue.

NEXT CLUE: Teams must now make their way to the statue of Germany's first emperor, Kaiser Wilhelm where they'll find their next clue.

The Cops hop in a cab and the Cowboys take the metro and they are off to find the statue. Dan and Brandy go up to Bungee just as Jordan and Caite arrive. Brandy and Dan jump off and Brandy is freaking out. Dan was very sweet and kept telling her she'd be ok. It was cool. The Cops arrive at the Statue of Kaiser Wilhelm and receive their next clue.

DETOUR: Soccer or Sauerkraut? In Soccer, teams make their way to a 100 year old stadium and play soccer...kind of. They have to hit 5 balls - from the penalty mark - at targets suspended from the goal posts. Once they have hit all 5 targets, they will receive their next clue. In Sauerkraut, teams must make their way to a restaurant and sit down, while a band plays a Sauerkraut folk song. The teams must eat an entire plate before the song ends. If they do, they will receive their next clue. If not, their plate will be replenished and they will have to start again.

The Cops choose Sauerkraut and head to the restaurant. "Let's eat!" Baseball and the Asians are headed by taxi to find Kaiser Wilhelm, while Caite and Jordan finish their jump and head back to the boys. The Cowboys are STILL on the Metro - they should've just taken a cab.

The Cops arrive at the restaurant. They are so funny. Mike: "An eating challenge? Are you kidding me? I've definitely eaten things as big as Jet and Cord, so this is no problem." Haha. They bring out the plate of sauerkraut and the Cops laugh at the small portion size. The music starts and Mike goes to TOWN. Louie is a little less aggro, but makes up for it at the end by licking the plate. They finish in plenty of time and receive their next clue.

NEXT CLUE: Teams must now make their way to the Haifisch Bar (the Shark Bar) and finish off a boot of beer. Once they finish their beer, the barmaid will give them their next clue.

The Cops head out to the bar. The Asians, Baseball, and Cowboys all find Kaiser Wilhelm and select Soccer. Bad choice. Team Lez, Big Bro, the Models and Twins all make their way to the train station to Kaiser Wilhelm. Why not just take a cab? It's much faster! The Cops arrive at the Haifisch Bar and start drinking their boot of beer. This is like the easiest leg of the race for these two. First they pair up with Cowboys, then they get to eat and now beer? C'mon. This is awesome.

Baseball and the Asians are at the stadium. Steve (Baseball) hits one of the five targets. Ok, if Joe (Asians) has a bum knee, WHY ON EARTH would he choose the Soccer detour??? Dumb. Models choose Soccer and Big Brother picks Sauerkraut. I think Sauerkraut is the way to go. It's much easier in my opinion. Steve (Baseball) hits all 5 targets and they receive the clue and head to the Haifisch Bar. The Asians decide to switch to Sauerkraut as the Cowboys and Models arrive at Soccer.

Louie picked up the slack on the beer guzzling challenge. They finish the boot and receive their next clue.

PIT STOP: Teams must now make their way to Beatles - Platz, a monument honoring the Beatles who began their rise to fame in Hamburg. Teams must then run through the famous red light district to the Indra Club where the Beatles played their first show AND the Pit Stop for this leg of the race.

The Twins choose Soccer and Team Lez chooses Sauerkraut. The Models are walking around trying to find the soccer field and Big Brother is in a taxi taking them to the middle of NOWHERE.

The COPS are Team #1 at the Pit Stop. OMG. They are jumping up and down and so excited. Phil is cracking up. It's awesome. They each receive a $5000 Discover Giftcard.

Baseball arrives at the Haificsch Bar and sits down to share their boot of beer. I think I could totally do this with my dad. Steve sits down and is SO EXCITED to have a beer. I think it's cute. The Cowboys finish the soccer challenge and head out to the Haifisch Bar. Baseball finishes and they head to the Pit Stop.

The Asians arrive at Sauerkraut and inhale it! They make it in time, get the next clue and head out to the Haifisch Bar. Team Lez arrives at Sauerkraut next and Carol has decided to choose this moment to eat like a lady. Brandy is shoveling in the sauerkraut and Carol is taking in dainty bites. Brandy picks up the plate and licks it Louie-style, then Team Lez heads to the Haifisch Bar. The Twins arrive at the soccer field ready to hit the targets and Dan is off to a great start. The Twins finish and head to the Haifisch Bar. The Cowboys and the Asians arrive at the Haifisch and start downing their beers.

Baseball is Team #2 at the Pit Stop.

Cord has never had a beer, so Jet is trying to take the lead, but it's tough for them. The Asians finish and Joe is a burping machine. Gross. I'm actually gagging a little bit watching him burp and seeing Heidi's grossed-out face. The Asians head to the Pit Stop.

Big Brother FINALLY makes it to Sauerkraut and they start shoveling it down. Meanwhile, the Models make it to the stadium and it's going to be a race between the Models and Big Bro, I think. C'mon Big Bro! DAMMIT. Big Brother doesn't finish the sauerkraut and heads to the soccer stadium instead. Stupid. The Models are doing pretty well at the soccer challenge...oops spoke too soon. Caite gets a sharp pain in her leg and can't kick the ball. She yells that she's been playing since she was 5 years old and it's pissing her off.

The Asians are Team #3 at the Pit Stop.

Team Lez comes in and starts drinking their boot of beer. Cowboys finally finish and head out to the Pit Stop. Team Lez finishes and heads to the Pit Stop. The Models finally finish the soccer challenge and head to the Haifisch Bar. The Cowboys in the cab: "There's a bunch of hookers on the left. Cord, we are no longer in the Bible Belt." HAHA. The Twins arrive at the Haifisch and start drinking their boot.

The Cowboys are Team #4 at the Pit Stop.

The Twins finish the boot and head to the Pit Stop. Big Bro makes it to the soccer field and starts kicking.

Team Lez is Team #5 at the Pit Stop.

The Models arrive at the Haifisch and start drinking their boot.

The Twins are Team #6 at the Pit Stop.

Big Bro finishes the soccer challenge and heads out to Haifisch. The Models are drinking the beer and Brent goes outside to THROW UP. What a chick. Seriously? The Cops, the Asians, Team Lez, the Twins, the Cowboys AND Baseball all managed to drink their beer without incident and Brent needs to vomit? Jeez. He finally comes in and finishes the beer and they head to the Pit Stop. Big Bro gets their boot and Jeff finishes that beer like a rock star. They head to the Pit Stop.

The Models are Team #7 at the Pit Stop.

Big Brother is the last team to arrive at the Pit Stop. They talk about how they tried hard and they're disappointed ... yada yada yada. THEN, Phil tells them that this is a non-elimination round and they are STILL IN THE RACE!! PHEW!

Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 1

They're back and feisty as ever. Let's dive in...

RAMONA

Ramona throws an "end of summer" party on a yacht in the Hamptons and invites all the girls sans Kelly and Bethany. Jill and the Countess (since she was able to keep her title after her divorce from the Count) walk to the yacht. Ramona comes out to greet them in her bikini and welcomes them to the yacht. Ramona actually looks fantastic. Jill - in her moo moo - is a little catty about Ramona and tells us that someone Ramona's age should NOT be wearing a bikini. I kind of agree, but Ramona looks fantastic for her age. I'm loving Ramona's new haircut, too. Ramona is quirky as ever and tells them that she gained 5 lbs and she feels renewed.

Alex walks up and Ramona tells us that she just decided to invite her and have a fresh start with Alex. Ramona tells her that she feels like she looks like an older version of Cameron Diaz. I agree with the Countess - she doesn't look anything like Cameron Diaz...I think she looks prettier. In fact, Cameron Diaz would be lucky to look as good at Ramona when she's her age.

Jill is just catty as ever today. Ramona takes out her new jewelry to show everyone. Yes, it's a little tacky to hock your jewelry at a friendly party, but whatever. Jill thinks Ramona should have given everyone a gift rather than try to sell her jewelry to everyone. Then she tells another friend of Ramona's that Ramona is cheap. This prompts the friend to tell Jill that at dinner the night before, Ramona asked for a separate check. Conclusion: Ramona is cheap.

Bethenny comes up in the conversation and Ramona tells us that she didn't invite her to the party because Jill had mentioned that she was having problems with Bethenny and Ramona didn't want any drama. Jill tells the Countess and Ramona that she's very sad about what's happened with her friendship with Bethenny. She says that she's no longer friends with Bethenny, but they aren't enemies. Jills tells them that in her last message to Jill, Bethenny told Jill to get a hobby - which apparently is the worst thing you can say to a friend. Jill says that she did get a hobby and was not to hang out with Bethenny anymore. Jill feels like their friendship was all about what Jill could do for Bethenny.

I actually don't think that's the case. I think Bethenny was lonely and single and a little depressed about getting older and wanting to find someone and have children. Jill quickly became Bethenny's best friend and, although there isn't much of an age difference, a mother-figure if you will. Jill is twice married with a teenage daughter. Bethenny was her single, lonely friend. Then, Bethenny's career started taking off and she met an amazing guy. Bethenny and Jill were friends of convenience. Maybe that's more true for Bethenny than it is for Jill. So when Bethenny found that guy who swept her off her feet, she was all about him and the career. There wasn't any time left for Jill and their friendship changed. Bethenny got busy and Jill wasn't ready to be replaced by a guy. It happens...it sucks, but it happens. I think they probably both contributed to the demise of their friendship. It's both of their "fault".

BETHENNY

Bethenny is on a rooftop in NYC doing a nude photo shoot for PETA'S "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" campaign. She sends Jason one of the nude pics. She has a smokin' body. She looks great.

RAMONA

The Countess tells Ramona that her husband said something upsetting to her the last time they hung out. Ramona asks if they can talk about it later and, at first, the Countess agrees. But then she decides that she can't wait it out and they talk about it. Apparently, Mario said "Countless" under his breath when someone called her over. Luann was very upset by the comment and felt that it was very hurtful, especially since her divorce was JUST finalized. Ramona is really reluctant to talk about it and correctly points out that it was her HUSBAND who made the comment. She agrees that it was not nice, but she says he was being playful and that it's not her responsibility. Mario is his own person and Luann should really take it up with him. I agree with Ramona. Luann tells Ramona that she doesn't feel comfortable attending Ramona's Labor Day party because she's upset by the comment and Ramona tells her not to come then. Good point. I think Luann just wanted Ramona to grovel and apologize profusely and tell Luann what a schmuck Mario is. Ramona is so not that woman. Luann keeps going and Ramona just says that she's being sensitive. Ramona tells Luann that if she has a problem with Mario, she should talk to him NOT Ramona. I agree.

Luann tells Ramona that Mario owes her an apology. Ramona just keeps telling her to talk to Mario about it, not her. Luann tells us that it could have been resolved simply if Ramona had just said "I'm sorry, Luann. I'll talk to Mario." Yes, but it's not Ramona's problem!!! Luann is really annoying. She's so entitled. Jill - my other not so favorite person already this season - joins in and says that Mario has been rude to her in the past, too. Ramona feels attacked - rightly so - and tells them that she doesn't want to hear it and gets up says: "Don't ruin my day. Not the time or the place. You're being rude. You're not following your own rules, Countess. Classless." She goes downstairs and cries to her friends. I get it. Ramona invited them onto a yacht for the day and they get on her about her husband. SO lame.

Jill and Luann are whining to Alex that Ramona should have apologized and said she would talk to Mario. Dumb. Ramona is pissed that they gang up on her. She cries ... which could be the result of alcohol. Then she tells us that her verbally abusive father passed away 5 months ago and she felt this relief because she was finally released of the meanspiritedness. Ramona says she doesn't want to deal with it with these girls. She shakes it off and decides to have a good time. Luann, Jill and Alex come downstairs and Ramona has them all do shots of tequila. Nice.

BETHENNY

Bethenny and Julie, Bethenny's assistant, are talking about the day. Bethenny tells Julie to clear out her email inbox and just keep the business related emails. Julie asks her what to do about all the Jill emails. Julie mentions a "Turks and Caicos" email that Jill sent. Bethenny explains that she was offered a week trip in Turks and Caicos. She decided to take Jason to see if this relationship was real and that's where they really fell in love. Apparently Jill was pissed that Bethenny didn't invite her instead. Bethenny explains that Jill can't be her "plus one" to everything and that she's included Jill plenty of times, but now there's a new, very special person in Bethenny's life. Bethenny felt that Jill was very needy this summer and very grabby and Bethenny doesn't like that. To be fair, Jill's husband, Bobby, was going through treatment for thyroid cancer, so I get why Jill would be needy and want support from her friends. I think it was bad timing. Bethenny got a life right when Jill needed her lonely, single friend. Bethenny felt like Jill was always all about Jill. Bethenny tells Julie that she finally called her and left a message saying that she's always thanked Jill for everything and that she needs to get a hobby. I get it. From Bethenny's perspective, it doesn't actually sound that mean. But Bethenny acknowledges that the worst thing she said was "get a hobby."

Jason comes over with a set of golf clubs. Bethenny says "as nauseating as it sounds, Jason and I have been doing each other's 'things'. So I've been golfing." Bethenny seems really happy. Julie shows him the PETA pictures. Jason is clearly more conservative than Bethenny. He's a little uncomfortable with her posing naked. Then he tells her not to send those pics to his work email. Yikes. That was a serious faux pas.

JILL

Jill and the Countess meet up with Kelly for lunch. It's a hot, sunny day and Jill is not happy about sitting outside since she's wearing a long sleeved shirt and pants. Kelly is wearing a frickin' sweater. Stupid. Jill says that Kelly reached out to her over the summer because she was having a rough time with all the drama about her beating up the boyfriend. Ha. Since Jill has no other friends, she decided to give Kelly a chance.

Kelly wants to know what's going on with them so Luann starts. She tells Kelly that Jill has been staying with her because Jill and Bobby sold their house in the Hamptons. Then she tells Kelly about the Mario "countless" incident and Kelly acts all empathetic. I guess when you go through a humiliating and very public incident (like beating up your boyfriend), it humbles you and enables you to see that judging people is not so nice.

Luann wants to know if Kelly is still dating Max. Kelly explains that he's not the right guy because she doesn't want Mr. Right Now, she wants Mr. Right. Jill tells the girls that she's had a really tough summer. Bobby had thyroid cancer and was battling that all summer. Ahhhh. Now we see the real reason that Jill is angry with Bethenny. Jill tells us that Bethenny never came to the hospital to see Bobby. She sent flowers ... but so did Jill's mailman. Ok, here's the thing. If my best friend's husband was in the hospital battling cancer, I would be there in a heartbeat. But that's just how I am. Also, my best friends have been best friends for at LEAST 10 years. Not one year. When you become fast friends like Jill and Bethenny did, it doesn't last and it's not as deep for both people. As soon as Bethenny found the love of her life, she ditched Jill. That doesn't happen when you have really true best friends. Now Jill has latched onto the Countess because Luann is single, lonely and needy right now. Hmmm ... sound familiar? She's like Bethenny last summer.

Jill completely misrepresents the fight with Bethenny and tells Kelly that big things would happen to Bethenny and Jill would find out in the tabloids. So when she'd confront Bethenny and ask why she didn't tell Jill, Bethenny told her "Because you need a hobby." Not exactly how it went, but whatever.

BETHENNY

Bethenny and Jason are in Montauk. I've always wanted to go there. Bethenny says that Jill has been acting really weird and Jason asks why that is. Bethenny explains that last summer it was easy because it was all about Jill ... and Bobby and Ally and Jill's mom, Gloria. Bethenny was staying with them so she was just along for the ride. Jason says that it sounds like last summer Jill was taking care of her and now Bethenny has flown the nest. I think that sounds exactly right. Last summer, Bethenny needed Jill and now she doesn't. It sounds bad, but it's completely understandable. Bethenny brings up a good point. Last year Ramona said that Jill likes the "underdog" and Bethenny is the underdog. It makes Jill feel better to be with someone who is struggling or not doing as well as she is. Bethenny thought it was ridiculous at the time, but now that she's thought more about it, she really hopes that wasn't the case. I totally think it was the case. Who is Jill friends with this summer? LUANN. Another underdog. Luann is an emotional mess and struggling and single and sad. Perfect for Jill to swoop in and be the heroine for the time being. But soon, Luann will fly the nest and find someone and not "need" Jill anymore. Jill needs to find friends who are doing well and emotionally stable.

JILL

Back at lunch, Kelly tells the girls that everything is dismissed regarding the domestic violence situation. Kelly had to do some community service and it was a great experience for her. Kelly asks Luann if she's ok with getting divorced. Luann SAYS that she's not alone because she has lots of good friends and she's keeping busy and trying to move on. Luann is not sold on Kelly, but she's giving her a chance.

BETHENNY

Bethenny and Jason are doing yoga on the beach. I don't get yoga. I've done Bikram Yoga and I like that, but regular yoga...I just don't get it.

Jason drops Bethenny off at a bar to meet Luann for drinks. He's driving a "Skinny Girl" car -- hee hee. Bethenny tells him he looks great and very masculine. HA. Bethenny says that she agreed to meet up with Luann for drinks, but she's annoyed because Luann insisted that they meet by her house and not somewhere in between. As a result, it took Bethenny 1.5 hours to get to the bar, so she's a little late. They go back and forth. I actually feel like Bethenny should have just sucked it up and not complained. But, I have to respect her for letting Luann know that it was totally inconvenient to come all that way for A DRINK!

Subject changes and Luann starts right in. She asks Bethenny if she INVITED her for drinks or is Bethenny going to say it's fine and then complain afterward that Luann did pay up. Oh good LORD, Luann. Why are you starting like THIS? It was super awkward and just kind of rude. Luann brings up the surfing incident last year when Bethenny snarked to Ramona "How come I'm the poor one who has to pay for everything all the time?" Luann says that it hurt her feelings because Bethenny INVITED her to go surfing. OMG. This is so ridiculous. Bethenny, just get up and leave and don't associate with this woman anymore. Luann is so f-ing self-important. Get over yourself.

Bethenny wants to clarify so she asks if she (Bethenny) ever suggests they do something together, then Bethenny has to pay? Luann says that "in my world" if you invite someone to do something, then you're INVITING them and should pay. Bethenny says that she suggested that they go surfing, but never INVITED her. I mean, seriously, if Luann wants to get picky about it, semantics are important. This is so ridiculous. Bethenny says that she's going to need a drink if they are going to continue this conversation and orders a drink.

Luann says that she needs to be clear: "I can't be friendly with you if you're going to be making snarky comments about me." Has she met Bethenny?? That's what she does. And she's hysterical. Luann needs to get the stick out of her ass. Bethenny says to us "I'm thinking, YOUR house doesn't have ONE INCH that isn't glass and I'm going to take a rock and throw it through every window right now." HA. Bethenny tells Luann that she's so tired of the pleasantries and appropriateness and the "Countessness". Luann says that it's not about "Countessness", it's about respect. She doesn't know how she can be friends with Bethenny if she's going to turn around and say something mean about her.

Bethenny tells Luann that they aren't really good friends anyway. Luann says that's because she went through a really hard time this summer and Bethenny wasn't there for her. Bethenny says that she sent her a basket when she heard about the divorce. Luann says that she didn't want a gift basket, she wanted a hug. Then she asks Bethenny why she asked her to drinks. Bethenny says that she liked the old Luann who was fun and cool and laid back, but then Luann changed and started judging everyone and acting like a hypocrite. They bicker about that and then Luann says that she wants to be Bethenny's friend and asks if Bethenny can be her friend without saying mean things behind her back. Bethenny says that she won't be making comments BEHIND her back anymore. Luann tries to call a truce and Bethenny says that she needs a minute.

They change the subject and Bethenny asks Luann if she's dating. Luann says that she's been on dates, but that it's hard after 16 years of marriage to go back out there. And it's hard to find someone like Alex, the Count. Then Luann asks Bethenny about her life and if she's getting married. Bethenny says that she thinks Jason is the one and that she's really focusing on work right now. Luann laughs and says that she saw the Skinny Girl car when she got dropped off. She asks if Bethenny drives that car around. Bethenny says she has never had a car before, so she bought this one. She also tells Luann that people wear Hermes and Gucci, so she can drive a Skinny Girl car. Luann says that no one is PAYING her to wear a Hermes belt, though. Bethenny (to us): "Exactly, you dumb drag queen. They're not paying you, that's the point. I mean, seriously." Bethenny tells Luann that she didn't come to drinks to be fake. Luann says that she's not fake and Bethenny calls her out and says that she has been in the past.

They end up hugging it out. But Bethenny tells us that she feels ashamed for agreeing to be friends with Luann because she felt like it was fake.

This season is going to be good...