Amazing Race, Ep. 2

SORRY THIS IS LATE. MY INLAWS ARE IN TOWN SO IT IS HARD TO GET AWAY AND UPDATE THE BLOG.  MY APOLOGIES.

"The Sprint of Our Life"

I hope I can remember all the nicknames I've given the teams.  I just don't have the energy to check my last post so I'm going to wing it.

Phil reminds us that this is a DOUBLE ELIMINATION LEG!!! WOOT!

TAIPEI, TAIWAN

The teams will be flying to Jakarta, Indonesia.  The Engaged couple leave first.   The other teams all gather at the airport and they are wondering where the grandparents are.  When they show up everyone cheers for them.

All teams arrive in Jakarta and get tickets for an overnight train to Yogyakarta.  The Siblings are already fighting.  WOW.  They are just arguing over NOTHING.  The brother is super sensitive and the sister has no patience for him.  Yikes.  Not good.

When the teams arrive in Yogyakarta, they'll race by taxi to Goa Jomblong Cave where they'll get their next clue.

The Grandparents arrive FIRST(!!) and get the next clue:

ROADBLOCK:  One team member must spelunk down the cave and search for a mask and daggar and then climb up a bamboo ladder to deliver the goods and receive their next clue.

FIRST, the Grandparents have to do the speed bump for coming in last which requires them to untangle a crazy knotted rope.  They get it done and join the other teams who have already started spelunking!

It looks awesome.  It's so lush and beautiful.  HOWEVER, all I would be thinking of is how many freakin' spiders are down in that cave.  I have anxiety just thinking about it.  Gross.   The rest of the teams arrive and now everyone is ready to "spelunk".  YIKES.  The cave is super dark and scary.  I would be so klaustrophobik in that cave.  I'm just gonna say that "spelunking" is not for me.  But give me a zip line ANY DAY.  I would love to do that.

The first wave of teams are going up the bamboo ladder.  The Grandparents are FIRST and they receive the next clue.

DETOUR:  "Shake your money maker" or "Be a ticket taker".  In "Shake" teams must make their way to a congested area of town and earn tips.  One of the team members will dance, the other will accompany them on a drum.  They need to earn 30,000 Rupiah to complete the task.  In "Ticket" the teams make their way to a popular mall and work as moped/motor bike parking attendants.  They need to park enough to earn 15,000 Rupiah to complete the tasks.  Both teams will need to head to an orphanage once they finish the detour to get their next clue.  They must hand over their earnings from the detour to the orphanage AND they have to notice a sign that instructs them to hand over ALL OF THEIR MONEY, too. (Not just earnings).  Ok, the sign is RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES. No one should miss it, but I'm guessing most will.

Twins - Shake
Colts - Shake
Grandparents - Ticket
Engaged - Ticket
Sibs - Ticket
Gays - Shake
Sailors - Ticket
Showgirls - Shake
SF Dating - Shake
Boarders - Ticket
Survivors - Shake

The Engaged team is first to the orphanage and give them their earnings...but they miss the sign. Seriously?? It's RIGHT THERE!

PIT STOP:  Teams will make their way to Kraton Palace for the Pit Stop where TWO TEAMS will be eliminated!

Engaged, Twins and Grandparents are on their way to the Pit Stop.  None of them read the damn sign.  They will be sent back by Phil to give all their money before getting checked in.

The Boarders saw the notice just as they were leaving and left all their cash.  Uh-Oh, Survivor left their clue at the Detour.  SNAP!!  They have to go back to the Shake it place and find it.

Sibs miss the sign.  Dating SF miss the sign.  Colts miss the sign. COME ON, PEOPLE.  It's RIGHT THERE!

Twins head back to the orphanage.  Sailors get to the orphanage and SEE THE SIGN!! So do the Showgirls!! Good eye!

BOARDERS are the 1st team to arrive!!!! They get to go to Ireland!! WOOT!
SAILORS are Team #2
SHOWGIRLS are Team #3
ENGAGED are Team #4
TWINS are Team #5
SF DATING are Team #6
GRANDPARENTS are Team #7
SIBS are Team #8
COLTS are Team #9

SURVIVORS and GAYS are ELIMINATED.  See you next time! :)

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, S2E4

"Gossip Girls"

ADRIENNE

Adrienne and Paul are on the plane waiting for Kim and Kim is on some serious crazy pills.  She shows up and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks.  No joke.  The woman won't shut up.  Poor Adrienne is trying to make this about her and how it might be her last Kings game in Sacramento because the residents won't build her team a state of the art arena (insert foot stomp here).  Boo hoo.  Anyhow, Kim is not appreciating how difficult this is for Adrienne or that they may be in danger because the fans might go nuts on them.

KYLE

Kyle is having a cocktail party for her "kids with cancer" charity. She's super stressed that no one will come to her party.  She's working with her "ladysitter" (WTF?!) on the RSVPs and auction items.

SACTOWN!

Adrienne, Paul and Kim arrive in Sac.  Adrienne is so freakin' dramatic about this whole relocation thing with the Kings.  I know I don't live there anymore so maybe I can't appreciate the severity of this situation, but it seemed a little blown out of proportion.  DRAMA.

Wow...Kim is really on something.  Yowza!  OMG.  Adrienne is crying.  Stop.  Too much.

LISA

Lisa and Ken are meeting with Guillermo (their business partner) and his wife about expanding SUR.  She wants to make it clear that Guillermo will be working more hours and she doesn't want any resentment when Lisa and Ken leave early and come in late. Guillermo and his wife are all in and they don't care about the long hours.  His wife looks a little worried, but I get the feeling they have a full time nanny for their 2 girls and it's not an issue for them.  The girls call Lisa "Princess Lisa" and ask when they are going to visit her castle again. HAHAHA.  Awesome.  I'm going to have my friends' kids start calling me "Princess Lisa".

TAYLOR

Taylor visits Kyle at her new house and tells her that there's an article in the press about her marriage and Russell is FURious.  Russell basically told Taylor to stop talking about her marriage with her "friends".  There are some personal details in the article and Taylor is trying to figure out who talked.  Actually, that's a lie.  Taylor is trying to get Kyle to say that it's Lisa because that's who Taylor thinks it is.  

WHAT?  Taylor has her "staff" sign confidentiality agreements??  Who is she?  Does that mean that no one is going to come out and sell their story about Russell and Taylor's traumatic marriage??  BOO.

ADRIENNE

Adrienne continues to be dramatic.  Some of my friends are actually at this game!!  I remember they told me they saw Kim and Adrienne.  Holy Trainwreck!  Kim is talking and talking and talking throughout the entire game.  Paul is SO ANNOYED.  I would be, too.   Adrienne is not getting enough attention in the box, so she wants to go down near the court.  She's so brave.

They make it down near the floor and fans are taking her picture.  She's such a friendly "celebrity."  She's the "People's Team Owner."  Ugh.

CAMILLE

Oh Lord...speaking of crazy people.  Camille and D.D. are shopping for wetsuits and paddleboards for Camille's annual vacation to Hawaii. If she's been going for years - like she claims - why does she need a new wetsuit and paddleboard!?!  Also, the flashback we just saw of her paddleboarding the year before shows her in a bikini with a rash guard.  WTH does she need a WETSUIT for?  Doesn't she know it's HOT in Hawaii?

KYLE

Charity event!! Kyle is stressing out.  She needs a drink...quickly.  Kyle doesn't think anyone is coming.  Of course, she's wrong.  All her friends and their friends show up.

Taylor shows up with some friends in this weird babydoll-ish dress that really is not age appropriate.  She looks like a skeleton.  Lisa asks Taylor how she's REALLY doing and tells her that she's lost way too much weight.  Taylor thinks that because Lisa comments on her weight loss and the article mentioned her weightloss, Lisa must be the source.  Lisa claims to be concerned.  I'm not sure how genuine it is, but Taylor seriously looks terrible.  At least someone is saying something to her.  Yikes.  I don't know how she thinks that's an attractive look.

Next up...Adrienne and Paul walk in with...Brandi!!! YES! Now it's gonna get good.  She's like 7 feet tall and on crutches.  She apparently broke her foot walking in high heels and here she is with a cast and a stilletto.

Lisa says that she has seen pictures of Brandi and Cedric together.  So, she's already on Lisa and Kyle's bad side.  Brandi tells us that she was married to America's #1 douchebag, Eddie Cibrian, who is an "actor".  She actually does the air quotes when she says "actor."  For those who don't know, he left Brandi for Leann Rimes.  Brandi says he's not really an actor, he just gets paid to look hot.  That may be the case, but he actually is an actor.  It's not like he's waiting tables and calling himself an actor but not doing anything.  He's on "Playboy Club" right now, so he's a working actor.

Lisa decides to confirm that she's friendly with Cedric.  Brandi says that they met 15 years ago when they modeled together in Paris and she recently reconnected with him again.  Lisa doesn't want anything to do with anyone who is friendly with Cedric.  Kyle is feeling defensive for Lisa and she, Taylor and Faye Resnick decide to talk shit about Brandi.

Lisa and her friend, Martin (who they tried to set Kim up with last season) are talking to Brandi.  Martin brings up Cedric and Brandi says (I don't know why she said anything) "Just so you know, he's never said anything bad about you" to Lisa.  Martin awesomely responds with "What could he possibly say?  Oh they took me on vacations with them and let me live for free in their mansion for 2 years."  HAHAHAHA!!  LOVE IT.  Brandi tells us that Lisa should let it go because she's 60 and shouldn't be "acting that way." What?  Oh no, Brandi.  You've lost me.  Although you never really had me.  I always have Lisa's back.  She's my girl.  AND she's not 60.  You're the one who just called your children's dad the #1 Douchebag in American on TV.  What are the chances they will never see this?   It's one thing to hear bad stuff about your dad from other people, but from your mom?  Brandi is a mom and is the one who shouldn't be acting that way.

'Til next time. :)

Amazing Race, Episode 1

"The Kindness of Strangers"

The teams:

Andy & Tommy - Olympic Snowboarders "Boarders"

Ethan & Jenna - Former winners of Survivor "Survivors"

Lawrence and Zach - Father and son.  Son set a world record for youngest kid to sail around the world. "Sailors"

Ernie & Cindy - Recently engaged from Chicago.  "Engaged"

Justin & Jennifer - Brother and sister.  "Sibs"

Bill & Kathy - Married 40 years and grandparents.  "Grandparents"

Liz & Marie - Twins.  That nickname wrote itself. "Twins"

Jeremy & Sandy - Dating from San Francisco.  "Team SF"

Ron & Bill - Domestic partners and flight attendants. "Gays"

Amani & Marcus - Married for 10 years.  He's a retired footballer (Colts). "Colts"

Kaylani & Lisa - Former showgirls from Las Vegas. "Lolas"

Ok, I think we're good on the nicknames.   They may change as the game progresses, but for now...this is it.

The first challenge is a word challenge.  Basically they need to unscramble the letters they find on umbrellas and combine them with 6 letters above the umbrellas (WANPEI) to determine where they are headed for their first destination.

The Boarders and Colts get the letters first and receive keys to Ford Explorers. Once in their cars, a video message from Phil tells them they are heading to Taipei Taiwan.  WOOT! Wow.  Amazing Race is so high tech this season.

Twins and Survivors are the next two teams headed to the airport.  Team SF and Engaged follow.  The Gays and Grandparents are next.  Sailors and Sibs are the last two teams.  The Showgirls are the very last team and they receive the "Hazard Penalty" which is an added task they will need to complete.  Oops.  One of them drops a passport out of the car and they drive off.  Yikes.

Everyone gets tickets.  The Showgirls are fighting because Kaylani can't find her passport.  They went back to the gas station but no one turned in a passport.  So, they're screwed and Lisa is PISSED.

Two random guys who were at the gas station found the passport and brought it to LAX!!! Rad.

Everyone lands in Taipei, Taiwan.  The Colts, Boarders, Survivor and the Engaged team are on the 1st bus.   They arrive at the square and the clue says to "look up" for your next clue.  I'm not sure they realize that it will be in Chinese.  It's up on a huge screen in Chinese characters and no one is getting it. The Showgirls, Twins, Sibs and Sailors make it and can't find it either.

The Sibs and Colts figure it out and ask someone who tells them that it's the Confucious Temple.  They are off.  The Engaged team  and Team SF figure it out next followed by the Boarders and Survivors.  The Boarders aren't buying that that's the clue. The Grandparents show up and can't figure it out.

The first group arrives at the Confucious Temple and there's a roadblock:

ROADBLOCK:  One of the team members will have to go to a telephone and dial a number.  They'll hear a Confucious proverb which they will have to memorize without any notes.  If they can recite it correctly back at the Temple, they will receive their next clue.

No one is getting the proverb!! AHAHA. Cindy, of Engaged, gets it first and they get the next clue.  Jennifer, of Sibs, is next to get it.  Sandy of Team SF follows.

The Twins and Showgirls FINALLY get the first clue and see the video billboard.  They head to the Confucious Temple.  The Grandparents, however, are still "clueless" and way off the path.

Ethan of Survivor gets the Confucious one and they're off to the Dragon Races.

NEXT CLUE:  Travel by Taxi to the Dragon Races.  The teams will join professional Dragon Racers. One team member will paddle and the other will beat the drum. If they can successfully complete the course, the boat captain will give them their next clue.

The Engaged team arrives to race.

Amani of the Colts, Zac of Sailors, Ron of the Gays and Tommy of Boarders all head to the Dragon Races.

PITSTOP:  The next leg is the pitstop.  For this leg of the race it is the Martyrs' Shrine.

The Engaged team, Team SF, and Sibs head to the Pitstop.  Twins and Showgirls are trying to solve the Confucious puzzle.  Showgirls get it and now must go to the Pacific Mall, search the 11th floor and look for their next clue as their Hazard Challenge.  They find it and the challenge is to bungee jump in the middle of the mall.  Kaylani will do the challenge.  Done and done.

The Grandparents are still looking for that first clue.  

The Engaged Team, Ernie and Cindy, are TEAM #1!! They have won the Express Pass.
Team SF is Team #2.
The Sibs are Team #3.

The Colts, Boarders and Sailors are finishing the Dragon Races.  They head to the next Pitstop.

The Grandparents FINALLY get the clue and head to the Confucious Temple.  Liz of the Twins is still having trouble memorizing the phrase.

Liz FINALLY gets it and heads to the Dragon Races.

The Gays and Showgirls are doing the Dragon Races.  The Grandparents are trying to do the Confucious challenge and NAIL IT!

Survivors are Team #4.
Colts are Team #5.
Sailors are Team #6.
Boarders are Team #7.
The Gays are Team #8.
Showgirls are Team #9.
Twins are Team #10.

AND...The Grandparents are ... NOT ELIMINATED.  Wow.  For the first time ever, there will be a DOUBLE ELIMINATION leg at the end of the next race!!!

'Til next time...

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, S2E3

"Rocky Mountain Highs and Lows"

The girls are still in Beaver Creek at Camille's mansion/cabin/castle.  Taylor is slurring to Kyle about her marriage and she's crying.  She's an emotional wreck and really shouldn't be drinking.  Camille is exhausted, so she goes to take a nap while the caterers are busy cooking dinner for the girls. Kim is sound asleep and Drunk Taylor wakes her up and continues to cry/slur about her shitty situation.  It's like the in-person version of a drunk dial.

Taylor slurs how sorry she is to Kim about last season.  Oy!  Taylor is a train wreck.  She needs to stop talking and sleep it off.  Now, the other girls are getting worried.  It's almost dinnertime and Taylor is a hot mess.  Adrienne is convinced that Taylor is having a nervous breakdown.  Hasn't she ever been around drunk people before?!  Nervous breakdown?  Really, Adrienne?  Stupid.

Anyhow, there's this stupid wild goose chase over Taylor's missing makeup bag, but it is found eventually.  Finally everyone sits down to dinner and they continue to talk to Taylor and fake worry about her.  So dumb.  This whole sequence is so annoying.  I found this episode difficult to get through. I'm sure I'm missing things, but ... I doubt it.

Meanwhile ...

Paul, Mauricio and Ken are smoking cigars and drinking back in LA.  They comment that Russell couldn't make it because he's on a business trip.  They all gossip about Taylor and Russell's marriage.  HAHA.  This is how you know this shit is staged.  Men would NEVER even give a CRAP about their marriage.  I can almost see the director walking over to them and saying "OK, you guys have to talk about Taylor and Russell's marriage.  Ready?  GO!"

On the way back from Beaver Creek, Adrienne and Kyle are talking about ... Taylor.  What a surprise.  Kyle is a little more level headed about what happened. Alcohol + Altitude = Crazy Taylor.

CAMILLE

Camille and her friend/stylist/employee, D.D., are walking around the grounds of Camille's mansion.  D.D. comments that it's like a spa.  It totally is.  She has a waterfall and meadow area.  It's insane. Camille doesn't want to sell - as she says, "Not that I can't afford it" - but, 5 acres is just so much for her to maintain.  But the kids love it and there are so many great memories there.  She's just not sure what to do.  I love rich people problems.

KYLE

Kyle and her hottie hubby have dinner.   Kyle's embarrassed to tell Mauricio about the drama in Beaver Creek.  I hear you, sister. I'd be embarrassed to tell ANYONE about it.  You are grown women.  I think they have drama because they don't have jobs.  That's the problem with all these Real Housewives.   Kyle isn't going to get out of telling him because this is Bravo and it's in her contract. :)

Mauricio is still pissed at Kim.  He's happy Kyle is patching things up with Kim, but he's still not over it.  I don't blame him.  He has really helped her for years and she was nasty last season.

LISA

One of the restaurants that Lisa and Ken own is called SUR. The space next to it is available and Lisa wants to buy it and expand the restaurant.  She just needs to persuade Ken.  This segment ... also boring. YAWN.

ADRIENNE

Adrienne and Paul are going to Sacramento for the last King's game.   I remember this from several months ago.  The Maloofs wanted Sacramento to build a state of the art arena for the Kings and it wasn't going to happen.  So, the Maloofs threatened to move the Kings out of Sacramento.  This pissed A LOT of people in Sac off.  It was kind of shitty of the Maloofs ... as I understand it.  I mean, they basically said that if they didn't get the people of Sacramento to build (and fund!!) an expensive state of the art arena for their basketball team...they'll go somewhere else.  I get that they think the Kings deserve a newer, larger, better stadium, but to expect the residents of Sacramento to foot the bill is shitty.  Look at that f-ing house Adrienne lives in!!  If they want their team to have a new stadium, they should just build it themselves.

Anyhow...I digress.  Paul is talking to someone in Sacramento (I think part of the security team) who is warning them about coming to Sac.  He says that the climate in Sac is really bad for them.  It's not safe. Oh, it's the VP of media relations.  Emotions are running high in Sac and the Maloofs are not really well liked right now.  Adrienne says that the "FANS" deserve a state of the art arena. Really?  Do the fans also deserve to PAY FOR IT, Adrienne??

Paul says they shouldn't go, but Adrienne is not letting it go.  She wants to go and they are going.

TAYLOR

Taylor's life coach is over helping her "find her voice."  What she really needs is to lose her dermatologist.  I mean, they are having all sorts of money problems and Taylor's lips just keep getting bigger and bigger.

Anyhow, Taylor is realizing that she shouldn't talk to these women about her marriage because all she's getting is judgement.  BECAUSE THEY AREN'T YOUR FRIENDS.  They are women who are paid to be on a show with you.  Annoying.  Her life coach continues to point out the obvious and Taylor feels like she's having an epiphany.

ADRIENNE

Paul and Adrienne are on the way to the airport and Kim is supposed to go to Sac with them but she's not there.  Adrienne calls Kim and Kim is DRUNK or on drugs or something.  She's rambling and incoherent.   Drama.

Next week BRANDI GLANVILLE joins the cast!! YAY!! I already hate her.  It's going to be awesome.   Oh, and Lisa tells Taylor to eat something because she's wasting away.  I wish people would tell me to eat. :)

Real Housewives of Beverly Hill, S1E2

"Blame it on the Altitude"

Previously on RHOBH Adrienne and Paul fought ALL THE TIME, the girls pretended like they liked each other, Ken thinks people who go to therapy are weak, Taylor and Russell are in therapy, and Jiggy drinks out of Adrienne's expensive champagne flute...EEEEEEWWWWWW.

KYLE

Kyle and her fam moves into her "dream home".  Kyle's friend, Faye Resnick, comes to help her move in and she thinks she's moving in, too - she's totally directing where the furniture goes and DOESN'T go.  Faye finds an old portrait of Kyle with the bushiest eyebrows ever.  Awesome.

LISA

I want Lisa's closet.  Seriously.  She's packing for the girls' trip to Colorado.  They are going for TWO DAYS.  Remember this because these women pack like they are going for WEEKS.  I swear her closet is like a department store.  She needs to take a ski jacket and her maid is helping her select which one to take.  I mean, usually people take their ski jacket when they go skiing...not choose from their selection of ski jackets!  Insane.

ADRIENNE

Another clothes horse.  She's taking THREE BAGS for TWO DAYS.  One bag is devoted to SHOES.  Who are these women?!?!  She and Paul are fighting again.  UGH.

GIRLS' TRIP

The girls act crazy and childish on their flight to Colorado.  I've watched this part twice now and it's so uninteresting that I've missed it both times.  Generally, Kim acts weird and flirty with randoms and Lisa is annoyed by everyone's childish behavior.

They get in the limo to Camille's house.  OH, let me back up. So the girls are going to Beaver Creek, Colorado to stay with Camille in her ridiculously lavish "cabin" before she has to sell it, per the divorce settlement.   The limo driver tells them that there's something going on, so they need to take a detour to the house and it will take FOUR hours.  UGH.  It's nice to be traveling by limo, but four hours sucks.  They agree.

On the way, Kim won't SHUT UP.  She just talks and talks and talks.  Annoying.  (Meanwhile, Camille walks through her cabin/castle/mansion with her ASSISTANT to make sure everything looks perfect for the girls.)

Kyle asks Lisa if Ken is mad at her for saying that Taylor was offended at the dinner party.  Lisa says that he was probably a little annoyed and that he was just voicing his opinion.  Taylor says that no one asked for his opinion.  Yikes.  Taylor keeps talking and getting defensive.  Lisa keeps saying that it is HIS opinion and about Ken, not her.  So Taylor says - AGAIN - that no one asked for his opinion.  And Lisa tells her that no one has to ask for anyone's opinion at a dinner party.  Snap!

The ladies finally arrive at Camille's and the place is stunning.  It's just gorgeous.  The girls all pick their rooms and it turns out that 2 of the girls need to share.  Kyle gives up her room so that Taylor doesn't have to share with Lisa.  It makes sense for them to share since Kim and Kyle are sisters.

The next morning, a ski concierge shows up to size the ladies for skis and boots.  Really?  A ski concierge?  WTH?  Even the other women had no idea what that was. Who knew that someone actually has that job.  Of course, Kim is totally inappropriate and the girls all tease that she's single.  Dumb.

The girls all go skiing and have fun.  Lisa really has an issue with Taylor.  I can't decide of there's a personality conflict or if it's truly jealousy because Taylor is friends with Kyle now.  Weird.

When they get back to the mansion/cabin/castle, Kyle and Taylor take a dip in the jacuzzi.  FUN! Well, not so fun.  Taylor talks about how difficult things are with her and Russell.  They are in therapy but she's just not sure anymore.  At the same time, she's scared to leave because of their daughter and she does still love him.   She's also scared to be alone again.  She was alone most of her life because she didn't even get married until she was 34.  Taylor says she's resentful but really wants things to work.  She never really tells Kyle the real issue (that he hits her) but that's ok, she's tired.

To be continued ...
 

Teen Mom Commentary

I've been watching these Teen Moms since they were 16 and Pregnant.  Now, with the exception of Tyler and Catelynn, the girls all have toddlers and are still struggling to get their lives on track.  I just watched the most recent episode and rather than recap the entire series, I'm just going to comment on each of the moms/couples.

AMBER/GARY

TRAINWRECK!  While I think Gary is a lazy slob who should seriously get off the couch and exercise, Amber is just awful.   She needs some serious therapy on a regular basis.  She was on some kind of medication for awhile and I'm not sure why she's not taking it anymore.  She needs a mood stabilizer.  She just can't control her emotions.  Leah does not need to be exposed to that nonsense.   I absolutely think Amber and Gary need to be apart and deal with their own separate issues before even trying to make it work together.  They are a toxic couple for each other and that beautiful little girl.  Amber needs some serious anger management training, too.  She's just out of control and then when she gets in trouble, she cries and plays the victim.  UGH.  It's so annoying to watch.  She needs to concentrate on getting her shit together and stop trying to date someone. Same with Gary.  He doesn't have the mood issue that Amber does, but he's got some serious self esteem problems.   He needs to get in shape and be a present father for Leah while Amber is getting herself together.  I fear for the future of that little girl.

FARAH

O.M.G.  I can't say enough how much I absolutely despise Farah.  She is a spoiled, disrespectful, rude, obnoxious girl who needs some mood stabilizing as well.  She is awful.  I used to really dislike her mother, too, but quite frankly, her mom is a saint for putting up with Farah.  She's terrible.  I cringe every time she interacts with her mom or stepdad.  Her poor stepdad is the nicest guy ever and she's just a bitch to him.  She needs a serious attitude adjustment.  She also needs to save her money so that Sophia can go to college and have everything she needs instead of spending her money on a BOOB JOB.  She just makes one bad choice after another.  Now she wants to move herself and Sophia to FLORIDA??  She's an idiot.  The entitlement and poor attitude and disrespect are simply too much.  She needs a good slap across the face.

MACI/RYAN/KYLE

It appears that Maci and Ryan have the most stable home life for themselves and little Bentley.  Both of them have supportive parents who help out a lot with Bentley.  Maci is also going to school which is great.  She found a supportive boyfriend in Kyle, although, she just keeps pushing him.  I hope she  backs off for awhile.  Last week, she was trying to get him to have a baby with her. She needs another baby like she needs a hole in her head.  She's another one who takes her parents' help and support for granted a little bit.  She needs to finish school and get a job and take care of herself and Bentley for awhile.  Then, she can focus on her relationships and expanding her family.  And don't get me started on Ryan.  He is a spoiled brat.  Bentley is lucky to have Ryan's parents there to help and support him, but Ryan needs to get a life!

CATELYNN/TYLER

These two are my favorite.  They could have really made a bad decision and been in a much worse position.  They have a very complicated and not so good home life.  Catelynn's mom is a recovering (?) drug addict and alcoholic who is married to Tyler's father who is also a recovering drug addict and alcoholic.  Tyler's dad is in and out of jail and Catelynn's mom is verbally abusive.  She's super immature and selfish.  Tyler's mom seems to have her shit together and is super supportive to both Tyler and Catelynn. Catelynn and Tyler made the very selfless and responsible decision to put their baby up for adoption.  They each saw their home life and circumstances and realized that their baby deserved better.  They have an open adoption with their babies' adoptive parents and see her once a year.  It has been a difficult journey for them - particularly since Tyler's dad and Catelynn's mom were NOT supportive of the adoption.  I'm really proud of these two.  They finished high school and they are working and living on their own AND they have managed to stay together.  I really hope they make it.


That's it.  That's my commentary.  Just because I think Catelynn and Tyler made a responsible decision for giving their baby up for adoption does not mean the others are irresponsible.  I just think that Catelynn and Tyler recognized that they didn't have the financial and emotional support they needed to raise a baby and finish school.  The others have the support of their families to care for their babies.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, S2E1

I'm BAAACK!!  After a really long hiatus, I'm back online and blogging about my favorite reality shows.

The bitches are back!! And they've acquired a couple more bitches.  This season will be interesting.  It's starting on a very dark and sad note with the suicide of Taylor's husband, Russell Armstrong, just a few weeks ago.  I heard Bravo is going to air some of their therapy sessions.

The season begins with the ladies from last season and their S.O.'s all coming to Adrienne's house to talk about Taylor and Russell.  They share their feelings and discuss what a shock this was. They agree that they need to support Taylor.  Then, the group therapy session ends, Bravo tells us that the events of the season were filmed before Russell killed himself and we begin the season...

LISA

Lisa and Jiggy are walking down the street and Lisa is wearing her KICK ASS hot pink Christian Louboutin's.  She meets her daughter, Pandora, at the beauty salon.  Meanwhile...back at home, Pandora's boyfriend, Jason, asks Ken for his blessing to marry Pandora.

KYLE

Kyle and her hottie hubby, Mauricio, sold their house and are packing up.  I can't wait to see their new house.  They claim that they "outgrew" the old house, but I think Kyle was feeling like she couldn't keep up with the other ladies unless she got a bigger house.

Apparently Kim and Kyle have not repaired their relationship since their big fight last season.  They're on the mend, but not quite there yet.  I have hope for them.  I'm a big fan of these sisters.

CAMILLE

Oy vey!  Well, it wouldn't be Camille if she didn't have a golf cart to take her from one part of her property to another.  UGH.  She goes to the "ranch" area of her property to see the furniture that had been sent to her from the Hampton's home.  Camille tells her friend that it is "REALLY nice stuff".   She bitches that Kelsey's new wife packed up all of Camille's stuff and Camille is acting shocked.  Stupid.

ADRIENNE

Adrienne is hosting a dinner party with the girls and their significant others to watch Camille's guest spot on Sh@t My Dad Says.  Adrienne and her husband, Paul, are discussing the menu with their chef and they are just bickering the whole time.  They leave the kitchen and the chef (Bernie) is so funny - he totally shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

KYLE

Kyle and Taylor are shopping for some fancy dress to wear to Adrienne's viewing party.  Taylor comes in out of breath because she just ran into Cedric on the street. This leads her to confide in Kyle that she doesn't think Lisa likes her.  Kyle says it's just because Lisa is British.  HAHA.

ADRIENNE

Adrienne and Paul bicker some more.  Jeez, I swear all they do is fight.  I smell a separation/divorce announcement in their future.  She's always so annoyed with him.

Ok, Adrienne is SO DRESSED UP!  RIDICULOUS.  Those ladies would NEVER be friends with me.  I would show up to the dinner party/screening in jeans and flats...they would throw me out!!  I'm so glad my friends aren't like that.  It's too much work, not to mention money!  Wow.  I guess blue is the new black.  Four of the ladies show up in blue dresses.

Lisa shows up with Jiggy (and some KICK ASS Louboutins) and Adrienne and Paul have a new dog, Jackpot.  Before dinner, the group goes to the theater to watch the show.  The ladies think it's a lot funnier than it is. Let's just say, I'm not surprised that show got cancelled.

Dinner looks DELICIOUS.  Yum.  Adrienne and Paul bicker again...awkward.  It went a little to long. Even I'm uncomfortable.

Paul asks Taylor how things are with her hubby, Russell.  She says that they are in therapy and she's learning a lot about herself.  Ken says that he would NEVER go to therapy.  He says that if he had to go to therapy to save his marriage, he would feel weak.  Yikes.  Way to offend the whole table. WOW.  He's so British.

OK, gross.  Ken is letting Jiggy drink water out of Ken's glass and then Ken takes a drink out of the glass.  SICK.  I'm not a pet person so maybe I'm more bothered by that kind of stuff.  But, that was DISGUSTING.

Kyle tells Ken that he offended Taylor and Ken takes offense to the word "offended."  Taylor comes back to the table and tells Ken that he upset her.  Ken tries to say he didn't say it was a sign of weakness.  Lisa doesn't like the confrontation that is occurring, so she makes up an excuse to leave.  Ken and Lisa are usually my faves, but that was really uncomfortable.

It's hard to recap pretending not to know that Russell committed suicide.

In the "Scenes from this season", we finally see Brandi Granville - Eddie Cibrian's ex-wife.  I'm not sure on which side people tend to fall on the whole Leann Rimes/Eddie Cibrian/Brandi Granville drama.  I'm not really sure people even care.  I have to say, I don't mind Leann and Eddie.  Then again, I'm a huge Angelina fan and Jen Aniston totally bugs me.   I just don't think you can "steal" anyone's husband. I think something was already not working or he wouldn't have been looking.  I'm not blaming the wife, I'm just saying that this other woman doesn't have some crazy super power that causes the husband to be unfaithful.

Until next week ...

Real Housewives of New Jersey - Season 2 - Episode 11

"Staub Wounds"

TERESA

Joe takes the girls to Tae Kwan Do class. Gabriella is the middle girl and looks nothing like Melania and Gia. Her features look so soft. She's so cute. Dare I say, she looks like Joe?? Now all three girls are beating on each other. Good Lord.

DANIELLE

Danielle is taking a boxing class that Danny set up for her and her daughters. One of Danny's "fighter" friends is teaching the girls to box. Danielle is pretending the guy is Jacqueline and Teresa. Danielle's daughters are so embarrassed that Danielle is their mother. I have nothing but pity for those girls - I wouldn't wish for Danielle to be anyone's mother. I'm so curious about her ex-husband.

JACQUELINE

Jacqueline and the baby arrive at Kim G's house. They start talking about the "incident" and Kim G is horrified by the events of the other night. Jacqueline brings up Ashley and Kim G can't understand why the cops didn't do anything. They both agree that if Ashley gets in trouble that she deserves it because she should not have done anything. This is totally unrelated, but WTF is Jacqueline feeding her baby?? Is it really that difficult to mix your own bottles that you need to buy the pre-made formula bottles?? Pathetic.

CAROLINE

Caroline's family is at home in the kitchen and Albert Sr. comes in and they discuss the wedding event at the Brownstone that day. Chris and Lauren go get ready and Albert Sr. says that Albie is welcome to come in with them and help out if he has time. Albie wants no part of the Brownstone. He feels like a failure if he works there because he sees it as "working for daddy" - which it is, but at least it's something.

TERESA

Teresa goes to Kim D's store and apologizes for what happened at her party. They start talking smack about Danielle. Teresa brings up AGAIN that Danielle was saying her house was "in foreclosed" or "under foreclosure." Um, it's IN foreclosURE.

Kim G shows up and Teresa is surprised to see her. They talk about the other night and then Teresa asks why she's friends with Kim G. Kim G says that she pities Danielle. (insert eye roll here). Teresa says that the thing she does regret is pushing Kim G because Kim G is old and Teresa respects her elders.

JACQUELINE

Ashley and Derek are at Derek's house. Derek says that, while Danielle deserved what she got, it should not have been Ashley to give it to her. Ashley keeps talking about Danielle and Derek yawns. Derek says that he's sick of talking about Danielle and that he hopes Ashley got it out of her system.

TERESA

Teresa tells us that Joe has always been an entrepreneur and then confirms that "entrepreneur" means someone who likes to own businesses. HAHA. Anyhow, he's opening a pizzeria, apartment building and laundromat. They look at the kitchen of the pizzeria. Next they look at the apartment. He shows her around the place and tells her that it's where they are moving. Considering the current state of their finances, he may not be kidding. Teresa is so entitled. She says that she would NEVER live in that apartment. Well, she may not have a choice.

DANIELLE

Why is Danielle always meeting people in diners? It's like she's hiding so people don't see her meeting people in nice places. Particularly, now with Danny and his thug friend. Danielle starts talking about Ashley and she tells Danny that she feels sad for Ashley. She blames Jacqueline for how Ashley is. She thinks the Ashley is trying too hard to try to fit into that family. She pities her but she's still pressing charges.

Danielle says that she's worried most about Ashley is that a year ago she was telling Danielle that she loved her and used to call her all the time. Dumb. Danielle is disgusted that Jacqueline hasn't done a better job with Ashley.

CAROLINE

Albie got a letter from the law school supporting his application to another law school. So now he has to start applying to another law school. He doesn't need to take the LSAT again or wait 2 years, but the application process is a bitch. Albie tells his parents that there is a possibility that he'll have to go out of state. Albert Sr. tells Albie to ignore his mother's feelings and go wherever he needs to go. He tells Albie that he needs to do what he needs to do and they will support him. Caroline says that she's got nothing to do so she'll just go with Albie. HAHA.

DANIELLE

Danielle shows up at the courthouse with a mini entourage and her attorneys. The entourage are witnesses and they say that she felt threatened and that she felt her life was in danger. Danielle claims that she heard a lot of "I'm going to get you" and that someone said "I'm going to kill you." That is FALSE. The witnesses said they heard name-calling.

CAROLINE

Caroline tells Jacqueline that she heard that Danielle was at the courthouse pressing charges against Ashley. Ashley comes to Caroline's house so they can talk to her. Ashley knows that Danielle is pressing charges. Jacqueline and Caroline try to tell Ashley to ignore Danielle. Ashley keeps laughing. She just doesn't get it.

DANIELLE

It's the end of the day and they are talking about the charges against Ashley. She is charged for harassment and simple assault. It's so annoying how Danielle keeps blaming everything on Jacqueline's bad parenting.

JACQUELINE

Kim G comes over to Jacqueline's house. Jacqueline feels like Kim G is two-faced. She is. Kim G tells Jacqueline that Danielle has it out for Ashley and Danielle will do whatever she can to get back at Ashley and her family.

YIKES!

The City, Season 3, Season Finale

"Lost in Translation"

PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION

Whitney tells Kelly that she was approached by Allison Brod, who has a rival PR company. Whit is considering signing on with her and Kelly admits that People's Revolution doesn't do Whitney's PR now. They just help her when they can. Kelly is obviously annoyed by it, though, because she bitches that Allison wears PINK! HAHA.

Kelly thinks it's premature because Whitney doesn't have the production to support lots of orders which presumably would happen with a full time PR rep. Kelly also thinks that Whitney is being impatient. These things take time and Whit wants to see results RIGHT NOW. Whitney says that she didn't want Kelly to think she was going behind her back. Kelly abruptly ends the conversation: "Is that it? I'm going back to work." Done and done. Wow.

ELLE'S 25th ANNIVERSARY SHOOT

Louise shows up and Joe tells her that she'll be interviewing Karolina Kurkova for Elle.com. She interviews Karolina and does a great job. BUT, the editorial editor tells Joe and Erin that she's so "TV". She's not really the "Elle" girl but she's good at her job. He likes her, but he says that someone more subdued might work better for certain segments. Joe suggests Olivia and the editor agrees. Erin is NOT happy.

TOKYO, JAPAN

Olivia goes to the Elle offices in Tokyo and meets the Editor in Chief, who tells her about the "special party" tonight.

NYC

Roxy is hanging with Zach and whining about Whit being "such a bitch" lately and how angry Roxy is with her. Zach reminds her that she helped Roxy with a job and a place to live when she came out here and Roxy has to remember that. Roxy just complains that this is the longest they've ever gone without talking and that she's never seen this side of Whit before.

ALLISON BROD PR

OK. This place and this woman are the ANTI- Kelly Cutrone. There's pink EVERYWHERE and candy all over the place. It's so pretty and soft and girl-y. I have to say, I know Kelly is bitter that Whitney is looking at another PR firm, but this place has Whitney Eve written ALL OVER IT. Allison gives her pitch and she's obviously very competitive. I think Whitney would be dumb to pass up this opportunity. I think this woman will make things happen for Whitney Eve.

OMG - Allison walks Whitney out and she is TINY. Well, Whitney is tall, but this woman looks like a child next to Whitney. HAHAHA.

ELLE

Seth and Erin hope that Olivia stays in Japan. HA!

TOKYO, JAPAN

Olivia is at the event and they are interviewing HER! She actually does a pretty good job. The Japanese women all comment on how small her face is. :) She's like a celebrity over there

ELLE

Erin asks Joe who he thinks he will keep on as the face of Elle.com: Louise or Olivia. Joe says that Louise is great, but all the reports from Japan indicate that Olivia is killing it over there! UGH. Erin tells Joe that Louise got a hosting gig offer in LA and, if she doesn't get the Elle.com thing, she's going to take the job. Joe says he'll think about it.

PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION

Kelly calls Whitney in and asks her if she hired Allison Brod. Whit says that she told Kelly she was meeting with her, but she hasn't hired her or anything. Kelly says that she's heard from 3 people that Whitney FIRED Kelly and People's Revolution and hired Allison Brod. Kelly doesn't understand since she was never HIRED by Whitney. She doesn't know how it went from Kelly helping Whitney out to Kelly getting fired. Whitney agrees that Allison should not have done that. She says that the last thing she ever wanted was for Kelly or her company to get hurt. Kelly is SUPER defensive and says that she doesn't need all this drama and especially doesn't need to defend herself or her company against someone who wears pink! Whit apologizes and Kelly says "Bye, Whitney. Leave my office now." This might be the first time I actually think Kelly is wrong. It's not Whitney's fault. She was upfront with Kelly and someone else made this worse.

ELLE

Staff meeting. Everyone is present. Joe begins by telling Louise what an amazing job she has done for Elle.com since the moment he met her. Then he congratulates Olivia on a successful trip to Japan. Joe then announces that Olivia is going to be the new face of Elle.com. UGH!! Erin cannot even mask her annoyance with the decision. Joe tells everyone that Louise has a huge opportunity back in LA and she says that she's enjoyed her time at Elle. Joe also tells Olivia that this a huge opportunity for her and that she'll need to work closely with Erin. As they are walking out, Seth says to Erin "I guess if you weren't thinking of leaving before, you're definitely thinking about it now." I think Elle would STUPID to let Erin leave and keep Olivia. Dumb

WHITNEY

Roxy and Whitney meet up. Whitney starts by saying that she's been feeling really lost lately. Roxy asks what's up with Kelly. Whit fills her in and Roxy says that her loyalty should be with Kelly. AND that things with Kelly will change if Whit goes with Allison Brod. I personally agree that Kelly has done a lot for Whitney. BUT, Whitney isn't the type of designer that Kelly and People's Revolution represents. Whit and Allison Brod would be A PERFECT MATCH and Kelly should see that and encourage Whit. Not be a big baby.

Well, I guess we'll just have to wait until next season for Whitney's decision.

The Hills, Season 6, SERIES FINALE

"All Good Things..."

The girls are all talking about where they are in their lives. They are all so young. Enjoy it, ladies!! It doesn't last forever.

The boys are golfing and having a good time. Brody tells them that he and Kristin are still friends despite his new flame.

LO & SHE-PRATT

She-Pratt says that she's enjoying time with Greasy but they aren't "official" yet. He asked her to come to his Super cross event but it's two hours away and thinks that may be too much. Lo tells her to go and that she needs to put herself out there. That did it! She-Pratt is convinced and decides to go. Lo talks to She-Pratt about her "rule" again and She-Pratt convinces her to break it. Done and done. Wow. These girls are easy.

KRISTIN

Kristin and Bartender Stacie have a heart to heart. Kristin says that she's feeling a little depressed because everyone's life is changing for the better except for hers. She tells Bartender Stacie that she's thinking of moving to Europe because she needs a change. WTF? I don't think Kristin can speak English well and now she wants to move to Europe? Well, I suppose she could go to London.

Bartender Stacie thinks it's a crazy idea.

SHE-PRATT

She-Pratt is in Corona, CA watching the Super Cross race. She and Greasy talk afterward and he's actually kind of cute. She-Pratt lays it on thick and tells him how sweet he is and how "manly" he is, so he asks where they stand. They both agree that they don't want to see other people. Then She-Pratt seals it by saying "I'm glad I came out here today. I came out to Corona and got a boyfriend. WOW." Done and done.

KRISTIN

Kristin tells Brody that she's moving to Europe for a little while. I love how vague that is. It's totally not thought out at all. She's moving to "Europe" as if it's this small city somewhere. Maybe no one told her. "Europe" is a whole continent of countries, sister. Maybe you want to narrow it down a bit. She tells him that she's having a "going away" party, but he doesn't want to see her leave so he's not sure that he'll be able to make it.

HERMOSA BEACH, CA

How the hell do these girls get such fabulous digs??? Seriously. Does the show really pay that much? Audrina's new house is on the Strand in Hermosa Beach which means it's about $3-4 Million. Even if she's renting, it's gotta be like $6K/mo. It's amazing. She-Pratt is checking out the place and then tells Audrina that Greasy asked her to be his girlfriend. Well, that's not exactly how it happened, but whatever. She has a boyfriend.

She-Pratt asks if Audrina is going to the party for Kristin and she's not really feeling it. She says she needs to pack and doesn't really feel like partying. They both comment how they are all growing up and how weird that is. To be 23 again.

KRISTIN

It's Kristin's party and the gang - minus Audrina and Brody - is all there! Kristin gets a little annoyed with all the PDA around her; Lo and Scott; She-Pratt and Greasy. Brody shows up and ... I think I may have missed something. She-Pratt tells her to go talk to him and Lo says she shouldn't because he hurt her. Kristin decides to go talk to him. WTF? What happened? I'm confused. More closure? He is not interested in you and has a girlfriend!! Why is that hard to understand?

OK, this scene is ridiculous. Brody apologizes for being a jerk and not understanding how much Kristin liked him when they were "benefiting" one another. He asks her not to leave because he'll really miss her. Then, they both CRY! WTF? Drama.

MANHATTAN BEACH, CA

Lo is moving into Scott's place in Manhattan Beach. Scott gets sappy and tells Lo that she's perfect and it takes a long time to find the right person and he's found her! He also tells her that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and that he'd marry her right now. Well, then why doesn't he propose??? Seriously. I'm not kidding. If Lo is "the one," where's the ring? Apparently, his profession of love is enough for Lo.

KRISTIN

Ok, if Kristin is "moving" to Europe, then why only ONE suitcase and why is she leaving her house completely furnished?? Is Bartender Stacie staying there? Is it a furnished house that she was renting? WTF? I don't get it.

As she's walking to the car, Brody pulls up. He tells her that if he knew dating someone else would cause Kristin to leave the country, he never would have started dating someone new. I bet that makes Avril feel awesome. This is way over-dramatic. It's not like Kristin is moving away forever. They are saying good-bye like they'll never see each other again. Drama.

As Kristin drives away, they do a montage of all the characters from the beginning of the series.

THEN .... the scenery moves behind Brody and we see that they are on a studio lot. Which now has sparked speculation that the entire series was fake. I don't believe that. I think they did it as a funny joke on all the people who say the whole thing is scripted.

Real Housewives of New Jersey - Season 2 - Episode 10

"Country Clubbed"

BEST OPENING SCENE...EVER!!!! It picked up right where it left off last time. Teresa and Danielle go at it and start screaming at each other. Danielle says that Teresa's house is in foreclosure and the gloves come off!! Teresa is chasing Danielle through all the people. Danielle is running with her "bodyguard" and her heels on her shoes break. She finally makes it outside and she's SO F***ING DRAMATIC. He's hyperventilating in a corner outside and she just keeps screaming "Keep her away from me. Get me outta here." Oh good LORD. The drama. No one was trying to hurt her or do any harm to her, but she's so freakin' dramatic. Teresa cannot be held back and while Jacqueline is concentrating on holding back Teresa, Ashley sneaks around and PULLS DANIELLE'S WEAVE as she's being CARRIED away by Kim G's "driver." DRAMA.

No, I don't think Ashley should have pulled Danielle's hair. No, I don't think Teresa should have said "hello" or anything to Danielle. But, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, Danielle made the situation 10 times worse than it needed to be. She's crying hysterically in the car and just such a freakin' victim. Annoying.

Teresa walks over to the Bentley and insists on talking to Danielle. The "driver" knows Teresa isn't going to "do" anything to Danielle, but tries to convince her to just walk away. Danielle is blowing this way out of proportion. Jacqueline is annoyed by the whole situation and tries to get Teresa to come back to the party and leave Danielle alone. Danielle is in the car crying that she told Kim G this would happen - what happened, Danielle??? Seriously, you freaked out and made a spectacle of yourself.

Ashley walks up and Jacqueline tells her to GO HOME. Ashley brats that Jacqueline is picking Danielle over her own daughter. STFU Ashley. Seriously. You just pulled someone's hair. STUPID. OH GOOD LORD. Danielle cries in her interview that she's in pain physically and emotionally. Physically?? Really? Because someone pulled your hair?? Danielle is all sorts of crazy right now.

Danielle calls the police. DRAMA! Teresa is done and walks away and says that she's over Kim G. Done. Kim G walks out of the car to talk to Jacqueline. Danielle yells to not let Kim G hit Jacqueline. As if! Kim G is not going to hit anyone. As much as she feeds into Danielle's narcissism, she's too classy. Kim G is probably SO HUMILIATED right now. She walks up to Jacqueline and asks what happened. Jacqueline is very calm. She tells Kim G that Danielle talks a lot of shit behind people's backs and when she's confronted she acts like a victim. Kim G agrees and tells her driver to get her bag so they can get the hell out of there.

Inside the "party", Teresa and Kim D are talking and Kim G and her driver walk up. Kim G seems like she's totally on their side. She tells Teresa that she knows she tried to be nice to Danielle. Kim D tells Kim G that she has to make a decision. Kim G is just embarrassed. You can tell. Then, Ashley walks in and tells them that she pulled Danielle's hair because she thought Danielle touched her mom. Teresa says that they told her not to do anything. Ashley is NOT apologizing.

The Police call Danielle and she cries to them that she was "attacked" and "assaulted" and names Teresa and Ashley and Jacqueline. She's horrible. By far the worst "housewife" out of all the shows. She's so annoying. Jacqueline is standing in front of the car because she wants to make sure that nothing else happens and that Teresa stays inside and that Danielle stays in the car.

The Police arrive and Danielle cries to them and asks them to make Jacqueline go away. The Police call Jacqueline over to the car and Danielle starts screaming "NO!!" OMG. Enough with the drama. She cries and cries and says she wants to go home. She interviews that she "will never forget this" and wants the women to leave her alone. If that were true, she would NOT have shown up at the event and she wouldn't be on this show.

The Police keep asking if she's hurt and she keeps saying that she's an emotional mess right now. True. Then she talks about the hair pulling. An officer asks Ashley why she pulled Danielle's hair and she says that she thought Danielle hit her mom. The Police take Ashley's information and tell her that she'll just have to appear if Danielle presses charges. They try to take Teresa's statement but she says that nothing happened and she didn't do anything. Danielle is in the car crying and trembling and Kim G is trying to calm her down. She keeps saying that she didn't want to come. THEN WHY DID YOU??? She's such a liar. If you were really that terrified, then you would not have put yourself in that position. STUPID.

Interestingly, the cops told Jacqueline that they are very familiar with Danielle and her drama. They ended up letting Ashley go. Danielle doesn't understand why they didn't arrest anyone. I'll tell you Danielle - it's because you cry wolf and are a drama queen. That's why.

NEXT DAY

Teresa and Jacqueline are filling Caroline in on what happened and they are laughing and retelling the story. Danielle, on the other hand, is filling Danny in on the events and playing the victim. She says that these woman want to do bodily harm to her.

Jacqueline tells Caroline that Ashley pulled Danielle's hair and that's when Caroline gets concerned. Jacqueline tells her it's because Ashley thought that Danielle hit her mom. Danielle tells Danny that handfuls of hair were pulled out of her head - I actually think it was just her weave - and hurt her neck. Oh, now it's the neck. Oy vey.

Caroline is pissed at them because she thinks they gave Danielle exactly what she wanted. And, she's concerned about what will happen to Ashley as a result. I agree.

CAROLINE

Albie goes to see an attorney. Apparently, if you get dismissed from law school, you have to wait 2 years before applying anywhere else. Yikes. That sucks. I don't think that's the law in CA. The lawyer's assessment is that his school dropped the ball by not affirmatively offering a student with a disability services. So she wants them to write a letter to help Albie get into another school.

DANIELLE

Danielle is driving and gets a call from her "energist". Seriously? Danielle says that she's scared because she thinks Teresa and Jacqueline want to physically hurt her. Paranoid much? The energist feeds into Danielle's drama and asks if she can talk to Jacqueline to try to diffuse the situation. Danielle agrees and gives her Jacqueline's number.

TERESA

OMG. This is the funniest scene. Teresa has to tell Joe what happened with Danielle the other night. She goes through the whole thing and Joe can't believe Danielle is such a drama queen. Teresa mentions Kim G's name and Joe has no idea who she is. Teresa says "she's the older lady." See?? I'm not the only one who thinks Kim G looks old. At the end, Teresa asks "So I did good?" and Joe says "You did good." HAHA.

JACQUELINE

Danielle's energist calls Jacqueline and as soon as she says that she works with Danielle, Jacqueline rolls her eyes. I'm with you, girl. The energist goes into her spiel about how she wants to help Jacqueline move on and Jacqueline says that Danielle is evil and repels everyone. Jacqueline finally agrees to let the energist "help her" and the whole time she is playing a video game on her iPhone. HAHAHA!! Jacqueline is just bullshitting this woman and the energist is feeling like she's making a breakthrough. HAHAHA!!

In the middle of it, Jacqueline asks if she thinks this is helping Danielle. Because that's supposed to be the point, right?

CAROLINE

Albie comes home and tells his mom and dad about the meeting with the lawyer. He doesn't want to get into a big legal battle with the school. He just wants to get back into school...anywhere. I LOVE this family. They are so supportive.

DANIELLE

Kim G and Danielle meet at a diner - I imagine it's because Kim G doesn't want to be seen out and about with the crazy train. Danielle tells Kim G that she's pressing charges against Ashley - you know, because her neck was hurt and she still has trouble "looking up." Stupid. Danielle is SO HAPPY that Ashley pulled her hair because now she has a reason to press charges and go after her. DANIELLE IS SO ANNOYING.

JACQUELINE

OMG. Ashley is really immature. Jacqueline wants to talk about that night and asks Ashley why she didn't just stay out of it like she told her to in the first place. Again, Ashley says that Jacqueline is picking Danielle over her and that Danielle is the saint and she's the bad guy. OMG. Get over yourself Ashley. You did something stupid. You should NOT have pulled her hair. That was dumb and now you will pay the price. Stop being so dramatic.

Ashley says that she had every right to pull Danielle's hair and that she can do whatever she wants to Danielle. Actually no. That's not true. Jacqueline tells her that there will be consequences for what she has done. Chris comes in to talk to Ashley, too. He tells her to mind her own business and that being 18 doesn't mean you get to do whatever you want. She says she can and he asks her who is going to help her now that she's in trouble. She doesn't understand and he asks who is going to pay for an attorney when she has to go to the hearing. She shrugs. Then Jacqueline brings up Facebook and tells Ashley again to stop posting stuff on there. Ashley is SO DISRESPECTFUL to Jacqueline. It's so frustrating.

Chris finally gets fed up and tells Ashley to either be more respectful or get the hell out of his house!! He tells her that she needs to shut the hell up or she's outta there. Damn. Chris is pissed. He tells her that she needs to suffer consequences so that she can learn. He also says that if she wants to be all "Miss Independent" then she can move her ass out and take care of her own damn self. A-MEN!

He ends by telling her that if she contacts Danielle at all, she can pack her shit and move her ass out of the house.

See you next week!

The City, Season 3, Episode 11

"Roommate Wanted"

ROXY

Roxy asks Samantha to go look at apartments with her. Awkward -- particularly since Sami doesn't like Roxy. Weird. Anyhow, she looks at one place that is almost 800 sq. ft. and $4,000/mo. HOLY SHIT! Sorry, that warranted an expletive. Roxy is stunned (as am I) but Sami tells her that it's furnished and in a great location and that's just how much a place of that size is per month. Roxy brats that she's going to need her dad to help her because she needs to get out of Whit's place ASAP. Roxy tells Sami that Whit doesn't even know she's looking at places.

VINTAGE CLOTHING EXPO

Erin and Kate (executive accessories editor for Elle) run into Whitney at the Expo and she tells them that she's looking for inspiration for her line. Erin and Kate are there looking for accessories for the upcoming Ashley Greene shoot. Erin asks if Whit has any black dresses they could consider and Whit says that she'll send some over right away. YAY!!!

ROXY

Roxy meets her dad, Ken Olin (!!!!! - I love him. I've loved him since Thirtysomething!! And I love Brothers and Sisters and Roxy's mom on that show!!), for lunch to ask for $$$$. Her dad asks how Whitney is doing and Roxy tells him that they aren't getting along. He is shocked because he says Whitney is such a sweet girl. HAHAHA!! Roxy explains that NYC and Kelly Cutrone have gotten to her and given her a thicker skin. Hmmm. Next Roxy tells him about the safe apartment in a great neighborhood with hardwood floors. She says that it's $4000/mo, but that's a total deal in NYC. Ken Olin is an awesome father. He tells Roxy that he doesn't think he can help her keep figuring out what she doesn't want to do with her life. She needs to figure out what she DOES want to do. He tells her that if she moved home, she wouldn't have to pay rent or have any of those additional expenses. Shit, I'll move in with him and Patricia Wettig. I don't even like dogs and I'd walk their dogs. Roxy says no way, Jose.

He tells her that he can't foot the bill anymore. He's given her a year and she's not any closer to figuring out what she wants to do with herself. He's been supportive of her moving to NYC and figuring out things and being creative, but he's not going to pay for it anymore. That's hard...for both of them.

ASHLEY GREENE PHOTOSHOOT

Olivia shows up and her "friend," Alexis Bryan Morgan, is there prepping for the shoot. Erin and Joe show up and bring in some Whitney Eve stuff. Alexis loves the stuff and Joe tells Olivia to make sure that a Whitney Eve piece makes it into the shoot. Olivia says that they have some more important things to shoot than Whitney Eve, but she'll "try." Erin and Joe smirk at each other and Joe says that he would really like to see a Whitney Eve piece in the shoot. HAHAHA! Olivia sucks. She really really sucks. Not only can she not be happy for her former colleague, she wants to actively see her fail. Bitch.

Alexis tells Olivia that she knows she's not happy about including Whitney Eve in the shoot, but Joe really likes it, so it's going in. She tells Olivia that she trusts her to make it look great and Olivia says that there is only so much she can do. What an F-ing bitch. STFU and be professional. Jeez.

PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION

Or Passive Aggressive Central. Roxy and Whitney are working next to one another and not saying a word. Kelly walks in and asks what's going on. Whit tells her about running into Erin and sending some looks to her for the Ashley Greene shoot. Roxy says to be careful with celebrities because you can't FORCE them to wear your clothes. Whit says that hopefully Erin will make sure it gets done. Kelly can't stand the passive aggression and tells Whit to get over everything because there's a charity event tonight. Whit says that she'll ask Sami to come with her. Kelly says that there's obviously something going on between Whit and Roxy but she's not a therapist and she doesn't really give a shit. All she cares about is Whit putting on a happy face at the event and looking like she believes in the charity.

ASHLEY GREENE PHOTOSHOOT

Joe brings Ashley to the back where all the clothes are and puts a Whitney Eve jacket on her for the Elle.com interview. Olivia does the interview even though she's hating every minute of it because Ashley is wearing Whitney Eve. She asks stupid questions and then Joe tells Olivia to ask Ashley what she's wearing. Olivia, of course, asks what the shoes are. Ashley answers and then tells Olivia who the dress is and that the jacket is Whitney Eve. Olivia says that she loves the skirt and the shoes. Joe has a "WTF is wrong with her?" look on his face.

CHARITY EVENT

Sami and Whit arrive and Sami tells her about looking for apartments with Roxy. Whitney is annoyed that Roxy didn't tell her since she's her roommate and all. Whitney brings up the apartment search with Roxy in the middle of the show and Kelly is all kinds of pissed. She tells them to STOP! After the show, Whit walks out and tells Sami that she can't fight with Roxy about this right now.

ASHLEY GREENE SHOOT

Joe pulls some gold cuffs for the next shot and Olivia asks him for a second of his time. She tells him that there's an opportunity that has come up in Japan to host an event and she wanted to cover it for Elle.com. Joe says that it's the busiest time of the year right now and Olivia interrupts that she could contribute a lot with this piece. He asks what exactly she wants to contribute. She says that she can do a street fashion segment in Tokyo and she can get to know people in the Elle offices there, too. Joe says that those are "valid points" but I totally disagree. He tells her to write it up in a proposal and he'll talk to Robbie about it. Basically, Olivia wants to go to Japan and she wants Elle to pay for it. HAHA.

ERIN & SETH

Seth brings up Olivia going to Tokyo. Erin doesn't think she'll be missed. Seth: "Maybe if we get Olivia to Japan for the short term, we get rid of her for the long term." HAHA!

WHITNEY'S APARTMENT

Roxy is packing up and Whit is shocked. She wasn't expecting it all to happen so fast. Roxy tells Whit that she's staying with Sami for awhile. Whit is disappointed that they are leaving things so unsettled. She offers to help Roxy but Roxy wants to be a martyr.

See you next week!

The Hills, Season 6, Episode 11

"He Loves Me Not"

HOLLY, STEPH, LO

Holly tells the girls that her mom is coming to visit and she's nervous because she knows her mom will want to see Real Doll. They talk about Costa Rica and how awful Brody was to Kristin - you know, calling her his sister and all. I wish there was an "eye roll" emoticon.

FRANKIE, BRODY, TAYLOR

The boys are all chatting at some car repair place. Taylor is a mechanic? Weird. Anyhow, they rehash Costa Rica and Brody brats about Kristin. The guys explain that she was trying to make him jealous and Brody says that he's not in elementary school. Well, at least not this week. Brody is so immature and always starting drama except when it is directed towards him. Then, he's the voice of reason. Dumb.

The boys take some bikes out for a ride and Frankie cannot get his to start. When he finally gets it going it gets away from him and crashes. HAHA.

LAX

Holly picks up her mom and immediately, Darlene says that she'd love to see Real Doll while she's in town. Holly tells her mom about the decision they all made to cut Real Doll out of their lives. Darlene says that it's a bad idea and that Holly is her sister. It's a tough situation. Real Doll has LOST HER MIND and she's chosen that train wreck, Sponge Bob, over her family. I get that he's her husband, but COME ON. He's insane. And, anyone who forces you to cut off your entire family is not worth being with.

Darlene is such a good mom. Holly explains that she's tried everything and she can't get through to Real Doll. Darlene just tells her that Real Doll will come around but it has to be on her terms in her own time and they just have to be there for her when that happens. So sad.

THE COLONY

Kristin and Bartender Stacie are out and Brody is there with his buddies because they only go to the same places. Stupid. Stephanie and Lo and her man are there, too. Of course. Brody's greasy friend, Josh, shows up and Stephanie thinks he's hot. Hmmm. I disagree. He comes over and talks to Stephanie. The attraction is mutual and he walks her out to her car. He gets her digits and she is super excited.

KRISTIN

Kristin and Bartender Stacie are walking through LA. They talk about Brody and Bartender Stacie encourages Kristin to tell Brody how she feels.

STEPHANIE

She-Pratt (I don't know...I feel like she's kind of earned it again) and Josh ("Greasy") are out to dinner. He races motorcycles and tells her all about it. She doesn't drink so she orders a soda and he orders one as well because of his racing schedule. He can't be drinking too much. Perfect match!! He tells her that he knows about her DUI, but he's glad that she ordered a soda. They both talk about how awesome it is that the other doesn't drink.

YAMASHIRO

Lo and Scott are celebrating their one-year anniversary. UGH! I think I'm the only girl on the planet who doesn't remember dating anniversaries - or celebrate them! My boyfriend had to remind me of our one year anniversary because I had NO IDEA. I don't think it matters until you're married.

OMG. These two are really cute. He so obviously loves Lo and she's so into him. He tells her that he wants to move in with her, but she says that she doesn't want to make that kind of commitment until they really "take the next step" - which I think means engagement. I hope he got that message, too. I made it super clear to my boyfriend - no living together until he puts a ring on it.

KRISTIN & BRODY

Brody comes over to "talk" about things. She tells him that she's ready for a boyfriend and she wants to try and make it work with him. He tells her that it's too late because he's been hanging out with someone and wants to see how things go with her. Ok, Brody is a douchebag. He encourages her to open up and tell him what she wants and then drops the "new girl" bomb.

LO & SHE-PRATT

These two are doing yoga and Lo asks She-Pratt about Josh. Um, isn't against Buddha to talk during yoga? I'm just saying. Anyhow, She-Pratt tells Lo about her date and how they have SO MUCH IN COMMON. You know, because they don't drink. Dumb. Lo tells She-Pratt that Scott wants to move in with her. EEEEEE!! BUT, Lo has a rule - no moving in without an engagement. I hear you, sister!! Stay strong! Don't give in. Of course, She-Pratt tries to convince Lo to move in with Scott and not to stay true to the rule. Dumb. Lo tells She-Pratt that Kristin called her to get together because "somethings wrong." Namaste.

W HOTEL

This is heartbreaking. Darlene and Holly are having lunch and Holly says she got Real Doll's number from someone but that the phone is off and there's no voicemail. Darlene tells Holly that she's been mourning the loss of a child and that she needs to know that she's done everything she can for Real Doll. It's so awful and sad to see this family in such pain because of Real Doll and Sponge Bob's selfishness.

KRISTIN

Lo and Kristin meet up and Kristin tells her about Brody. Kristin is having a pity party because she put herself out there and got shot down. Lo tries to lift her spirits by telling her that any guy would love to date her and girls want to BE her. She tells Kristin not to get upset by BRODY JENNER. He's so not worth it. Particularly since he's hanging out with AVRIL LAVIGNE! Kristin starts crying and Lo genuinely feels bad for her. Awww.

I can't believe next week is the LAST EPISODE EVER!!

The City, Season 3, Episode 10

"Stage Fight"

ELLE MAGAZINE

Joe Zee, Erin and Olivia are in Joe's office and Joe tells them that they are in a bit of a crisis. Erin booked the Martha Stewart show and they are asking for one more designer. Joe and Robbie have decided on Prabal Gurung. Olivia doesn't know him personally but she supports their choice. Joe tells her that Erin needs research on him: Background, history, education, looks and why is he one of the up and coming designers for Elle. Joe gets nervous and hands Olivia a pad of paper and a pen so that she doesn't screw this up. She tries to tell Joe that she knows, but Joe tells her to write it down anyway because it has to be perfect. HAHA!

PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION

Kelly's friend, Gian, manages Lights who is a huge hit in Canada. Lights is performing in NYC but she just got ROBBED. So Kelly assigns Roxy to "dress" Lights in Whitney Eve. Kelly tells Roxy that it would be a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY bad thing if one of the outfits was NOT Whitney Eve. Pressure is on.

PRABAL GURUNG SHOWROOM

Olivia and Joe are looking a various looks. Olivia puts one together that they both love. Then Prabal picks his favorite dress and asks Olivia to wear it on the red carpet. Ugh. I know it makes me a bad person, but I hate to see her succeed at anything.

PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION

Gian and Lights meet Roxy to pick out some looks for the show. Whitney Eve really isn't her style. Her eyes keep wandering over to some of the other designer's in the showroom. Roxy tries to get her back on track by suggesting that she pair another outfit with a Whitney Eve jacket or something. Lights tries on the look and Roxy grabs a Whitney Eve coat for her to wear with it. But even I know that NONE of Whitney's clothes are going to end up on stage with Lights. No way no how.

LIGHTS CONCERT

Roxy brought some more Whitney Eve clothes to the concert. She tells Lights how important it is to wear at least the jacket. Lights says that she needs to feel comfortable, but appears to cooperate. It doesn't look like she'll go through with it, though. Kelly and Whit are waiting for the show to start and Whit is super excited. Zach - the photographer - shows up and Whit reminds him to make sure he gets a photo of Lights with the jacket.

HAHA! She walks out with the jacket on and IMMEDIATELY takes it off (and throws it on the ground) when she gets to the microphone and welcomes the crowd. Ouch. Whitney is PISSED and Roxy keeps looking up at her knowing that she's going to get yelled at later.

DKMS GALA

Olivia shows up in the Prabal dress with Joe Zee. Robbie walks up and Joe gives Olivia credit for pulling the Prabal look and Olivia looks smug, per usual.

LIGHTS CONCERT

Whitney takes off and Roxy goes to Zach to make sure he got a shot of Lights with the Jacket on. Whit finds Roxy and immediately lays in on her. Roxy interrupts and, correctly, tells Whitney that Lights just didn't like her stuff. It wasn't grungy enough. It's true. Whitney is still pissed and yells some more and then tells Roxy that she'll have to answer to Kelly, too.

MARTHA STEWART SHOW

Robbie, Seth and Erin are at the show and Erin is scrambling to get all the looks and models ready to go. Robbie tells Martha Stewart that she's really pretty. Weird. The show goes off without a hitch and everyone is happy. :)

WHITNEY'S APARTMENT

Roxy gets tea for Whitney and wants to talk about last night. Usually, I would be Team Whitney, but in this case, Roxy is right. Whitney comes out again with the fact that nothing this girl was wearing was Whitney Eve. But, Roxy correctly points out that she can't FORCE someone to wear something they don't want to wear. Whitney says that if Roxy can't perform then maybe she shouldn't be doing this line of work. Ouch. That was unnecessary. This is exactly why you can't have your friends doing "work" for you. It never turns out right. The same with selling a car - don't sell it to a friend. It never works out.

Roxy points out that it was her job to make sure Lights was wearing something Whitney Eve when she walked out. It's not her job to make sure she keeps it on throughout the show. She also assures Whitney that Zach got some pics of her wearing it when she walked out. She also tells Whitney that it's offensive to tell her that she shouldn't be doing this type of work just because this pop star doesn't like her clothes.

Whitney just doesn't get it. I understand that this is her baby and it's personal for her, but Roxy has been super supportive. Whitney says that she questions whether they should be working together and that's about the only thing I agree with. They should NOT be working together. Roxy feels defensive because Whitney is saying that she's CONSTANTLY disappointed by Roxy - which is a total exaggeration. Roxy just wants a little support from her best friend and I understand that. They agree that Roxy needs to move out. Yikes.

ELLE MAGAZINE

Joe walks down the hall with Olivia just fawning over her for her great job with the Prabal outfit for Martha Stewart. They reach Olivia's desk and he congratulates Erin for the Martha Stewart segment. He tells her that it was a real homerun and she did a great job and that Olivia really hit it out of the park, too. OY! Enough with the baseball analogies, Joe Zee. Geesh!

See you next time.

OMG OMG OMG OMG - KEN OLIN will be appearing on the next episode!!! WOO HOO!

The Hills, Season 6, Episode 10

"Welcome to the Jungle"

The gang arrives in Costa Rica. Stephanie comments that it's so romantic and "beach-y". Audrina concurs and then talks about how weird it is for Justin to be there. I totally agree, btw. I think it's weird that all of these people are together. Frankie, Charlie and Brody - I totally get. Kristin and Bartender Stacie - I totally get. Audrina, Stephanie and Justin - WTF? AND, where's that other dude's wife??? They just got married last season.

Bartender Stacie and Kristin are lying in the water at Santa Teresa Beach in Costa Rica and I could not be MORE JEALOUS right now. It looks amazing and I totally want to be there. Kristin is curious who is going to hook up on this trip. They think that Justin and Audrina could hook up because he's always been that "one guy" for Audrina that always seems to pull her back in. Kristin is delusional and says that she doesn't have that "one guy" but Bartender Stacie snaps her back to reality and reminds her about Brody. Then, Bartender Stacie plants a seed by saying how careful Kristin always is to not flirt with other guys around Brody even though Brody is always bringing other chicks around. Hmmm. True. Kristin agrees that she is always very "respectful" around Brody. Way to pat yourself on the back, Kristin. Something tells me that will all change during this trip. :) Bartender Stacie agrees.

BAR in COSTA

For some insane reason, Kristin and Stacie the Bartender are lying on the bar while everyone else is on a stool. Perhaps they ran out of stools - or K & S are just super obnoxious. I vote for the latter. Anyhoo, they all do shots of something blue and delicious! Frankie is speaking in Spanish with the bartender, Will. Kristin loudly says "that's hot" - to Will speaking in Spanish, not Frankie. Poor Frankie. No one wants to hook up with him. What's that all about? He's not ugly.

Kristin is DRUNK. She tells Brody that she thinks Will is hot and Brody tells her to go for it and that he's looking for chicks, too. She looks at him and says "Oh really?" and he says "You know I love you. You're like my little sister." Oh dang. You don't ever want the guy you're sleeping with to tell you that he thinks of you like a little sister. Not cool. Ever.

Oh, I guess Will speaks English as well. Lucky break for Kristin - not that it would make a difference. Brody says he doesn't care and Justin walks away - grabbing Audrina's ass as he walks by. Nice.

Kristin, Bartender Stacie and the other guy who got married last season - Taylor - are all swimming in the pool. Kristin bitches that Brody says he thinks of her like a sister. I understand that Kristin is drunk and that causes people to blow things out of proportion. BUT, if a guy I was sleeping with told me he loved me like a sister, I'd be pissed and we would not sleep together again. I see her point. Ok, Taylor has always been Team Kristin for Brody. He has always wanted them to be together. So, it's not a surprise that he continues to lobby for the two of them to Kristin. He and Bartender Stacie are trying to convince Kristin that Brody is the one for her.

Kristin gets out of the water and decides she's over Brody. Well, she's going to say that she is and flirt with Will to make Brody jealous because she totally still loves him. She goes back to the bar and asks Will if she's going to see him later. He says yes and tells her to meet him at the night club later. Done and done.

DAY & NIGHT BEACH CLUB

The gang is at the club and Will and Kristin decide to go dance in the rain. The girls join them and they are dancing in the rain. Brody looks annoyed, but he's dumb. Dancing in the rain is so much fun. I did a bit of that on a trip to Cancun in my 20's. It was AWESOME.

NEXT DAY

Stephanie and Audrina come over to Kristin and Bartender Stacie's room. Stephanie says she feels like she's on Survivor because of all the trees and spiders on their way to Kristin's room. Oy vey. Bartender Stacie tells Kristin she has a date with the "Bartender" tonight. Don't hate, Stacie. You're a Bartender, too...or you WERE. Kristin creates a diversion and asks Audrina if she's going to join her in poor decision making and hook up with Justin. Audrina feels like she doesn't know him anymore and that he's acting strange. They decide to go eat and see a crab walking across the room. As they walk to breakfast, they see monkeys in the trees. CAPUCHIN!! So awesome. I want to go to Costa Rica.

Brody, Charlie and Justin are surfing. Frankie and Taylor are on the beach and comment on how much better Justin is at surfing than Brody and Charlie put together. HAHA.

Audrina, Bartender Stacie and Kristin go to a different beach and take surfing lessons. SO FUN!! I did that in Maui with my sister and it was amazing. So much fun. Did I mention how jealous I am that they are in Costa Rica?

FLORBLANCA RESORT

The gang is having dinner at the resort. Will (the bartender) is joining them and tells Kristin that the resort is a honeymoon spot. Kristin says she really likes the "vibe" here. Ugh. Brody is annoyed with Kristin's overt flirting with Will. Justin tells Audrina that he feels a little weird about things with her because of her baggage. She says she doesn't have any baggage and he lies that he didn't know that. Whatever. Everyone told him that she broke up with Ryan Cabrera. Justin just doesn't know how to act. Audrina says that they are just friends and Justin's response is "whatever it is, it is. Whatever it will be, it will be." Wow. So deep, Justin. (insert eyeroll here).

They have moved to the bar now and Brody expresses concern for Kristin because he doesn't want her to get hurt by Will. He also reminds her that she's like his little sister and doesn't want her to get hurt. Bad move, Brody. He continues down the bad decision path and they all toast to their last night to Costa Rica. Brody can't leave it alone so he toasts to "sisters that I've slept with" which totally pisses Kristin off. She grabs Will and walks down to the beach with him to make out and do dirty things. You blew it, Brody.

NEXT DAY

The girls talk about going to the waterfall today and Kristin asks Stephanie if she's going to be ok. Stephanie acts offended and insists she loves nature, but then freaks out when Audrina blows a leaf out of her hair. HAHA. Then, as she sits there listening to Kristin talk about her night with Will, something falls down her back and she jumps up and freaks out again. HAHA.

The gang takes a hike to see some waterfalls and they tell Stephanie not to scream if she sees a spider. She says that she's more concerned about Cheetahs and Gorillas now that they are "in the jungle." haha. They find the waterfall and Brody gives Steph props for doing a great job on the hike. They all jump in the water and swim and it looks so fun!!

Time to go home!! Kristin rubs her fling with Will in Brody's face again and ... he STILL doesn't care. Justin and Audrina comment that Costa Rica is a romantic place and not really a "group" vacation spot. He asks if she'd come back and she says "not with you." Ouch.

See you next week.

Real Housewives of New Jersey - Season 2 - Episode 9

"Posche Spite"

CAROLINE

Caroline and her sisters, Frannie and Cookie have lunch. Cookie is number 2, Caroline is number 6, Frannie is number 10 and Dina is number 11. Cookie and Dina look alike. Caroline tells them about Albie and the problem with school. They talk about being empty nesters. They are the cutest family.

TERESA

Jacqueline and Teresa have lunch with Kim "D". Teresa is skeptical because she's afraid Kim "D" is playing both sides. Kim "D" arrives and they all laugh about Teresa's party and how "fun" Kim "D" was. Kim "D" invites Teresa and Jacqueline to her store's fashion show. After Kim "D" leaves, Teresa and Jacqueline talk about whether or not to got to the fashion show. Teresa says that she wants to go, but Jacqueline doesn't want to put herself in that situation.

DANIELLE

Danielle goes over to Posche to confront Kim "D" for inviting Teresa and Jacqueline to the fashion show. She walks in and the employee in the store is on the phone so she puts up a finger to tell her she'll be off in second. Jillian calls Danielle and Danielle bitches to her daughter that the woman was VERY RUDE to her. Who the F does Danielle think she is?? She's some trashy drag queen from JERSEY, not Angelina Jolie!! So, Danielle - very rudely - walks back into the store and tells the woman to have Kim "D" call her when she gets in and then storms out. She totally misses the woman yell out "I didn't get your name." HAHA. Danielle is SO ANNOYING. I might dislike her more than Kelly from RHONY.

Kim "D" arrives and calls Danielle and Danielle yells at Kim "D" and hangs up. So Danielle comes in the store and says that the mistreatment she received from her employee was so disrespectful. Danielle says that she doesn't think she can shop in her store anymore and Kim "D" says that's fine. Danielle keeps being crazy, so Kim "D" asks Danielle to leave. Danielle interviews that she's over Kim and her "little boutique" which I think is amusing since Danielle doesn't even have a JOB! At least Kim is supporting herself and has a little boutique. What do you have Danielle?? A bad boob job and psychological problems?? Then, like the teenager she truly is, she says that Kim "D" will miss Danielle's money, so "haha". Really? Oy!

CAROLINE

Caroline is talking to Albert about feeling depressed because all the kids are leaving her. She wants Albert to retire so that she won't be so lonely. Albert asks if she wants to have a baby. HAHA!! She says NO THANK YOU. Albert is not going to retire. Caroline is feeling lonely. So Caroline asks him to slow down a little. Albert says that he'll never stop working completely. :(

JACQUELINE

Ashley is going to be a "model" in Kim "D"'s show. She tries on some clothes and they love her.

DANIELLE

I think I'm going to start calling her "Crazy". She's just not normal. Kim "D" calls Crazy to apologize for what happened in the store. She tells Crazy she wants her to come to the fashion show and Crazy agrees.

JACQUELINE

Teresa and Caroline come over and Jacqueline and Teresa ask Caroline for her advice about the show. Caroline doesn't think they should go. But she says if they go they should take the high road and NOT DO ANYTHING. They agree. But you know Teresa can't help herself.

DANIELLE

Kim "G" shows up with her "driver" to pick up Crazy. Crazy is anticipating drama and so she's going to the event defensive. I don't know why Kim "G" hangs out with Crazy. It makes her look bad. Crazy just plays the victim all the time. SO ANNOYING. Crazy calls the other girls "crazy bitches". Um, Pot? This is Kettle. You're Black.

FASHION SHOW

Ashley arrives and gets all dolled up and ready for the runway. Jacqueline and Teresa arrive and Kim "D" tell them that Crazy will be coming. Crazy shows up with a freakin' BODYGUARD!!! HAHA. She's such a drama queen. Her bodyguard, Dennis, came instead of Danny because Kim "G" had issues with Danny last time.

Crazy felt like it was a slap in the face to seat Jacqueline and Teresa at Kim "D"'s table. And, she was upset that she was sitting directly across the room from them. Ok, there's a catwalk in the middle of the room. She gave Crazy a great seat to watch the show. OY VEY! This woman is out of control. AND, she thinks everything is about her. She says that Jacqueline and Teresa are so desperate to get at her that they befriended HER friend. Whatever. It's more like Crazy's friends need sane people to talk to, so they call Teresa and Jacqueline.

CAROLINE

Albert and Caroline are out to dinner for date night. Caroline says that they need to get used to hanging out just the two of them. Albert says they won't be alone for long because Lauren is going to stop popping out babies soon. He thinks she'll be first unless Christopher brings home some illegitimate kids. HA!! Caroline really wants him to take a Saturday night off once in a while so that he'll be home more. He says he'll work a 12 hour day instead of a 16 hour day. Ugh. He promises to take more time off to spend time with her.

POSCHE EVENT

The Fashion Show begins and Crazy decides to go back to high school. Apparently now she's taking tips from Paris Hilton. She says she could care less about the fashion show. THEN WHY ARE YOU THERE??????? GO HOME! She refuses to clap and she pretends she's on the phone the whole time to "diss" Kim "D". WTF? She says Paris Hilton taught her that. Wow. Kim "G" tells her not to look back and act like the lady she is and pay attention to the show. Kim "G" is clearly embarrassed by Crazy and tries to teach her to be classy, but Crazy isn't having it. Crazy is surprised to see Ashley on the runway and she says that none of the girls knew how to walk. Kim "G" says that they aren't professional models. So Crazy says "that's why they didn't want Christine...they wanted UNprofessionals." UGH.

Ashley keeps staring at Crazy. OMG. Ashley is a TEENAGER!! Why do you care, Crazy?? Seriously. Crazy is out of her mind. She has lost it. Crazy goes to the bathroom with her entourage and Jacqueline walks out to find Teresa and Ashley. She sees Teresa sitting in a chair in the hallway. She says that she wants to say hi to Crazy because they are in the same room and it's stupid to not say "hi". Crazy walks by and Teresa calls her name and says "hi".

Crazy starts walking away and Teresa asks why she can't just say hi. So Teresa asks how she has been and Crazy starts walking away again. Kim "G" tells Crazy that that Teresa is making an effort and to come back. Crazy comes back and Teresa says hello again and congratulates her for Christine walking at Fashion Week. It gets heated and Teresa calls her "honey" and Crazy tells her not to call her that. SO Teresa calls her a "bitch" and Crazy says "that's a fuckin' nuff."

I hate to say it but Teresa totally instigated that whole thing.

Next week will be GOOD!!