I didn't watch The Bachelorette, so I don't know anything about Jake, The Bachelor. So this will be new to me. All I know is that he was on The Bachelorette and was DENIED by Jillian. Let's get this season started...
As if this show can't get any cheesier, they are calling it The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. Good Lord!
Jake is a commercial pilot from Dallas. He seems sweet and a truly nice guy - even if he is from Texas. I suppose I'll overlook that for now. He is a Southwest pilot and I heard some of the flight attendants on my flight to Detroit last week talking about him. :) He's 31 and looking to get married. I cannot believe he hasn't found anyone on his own. He's cute, has a hot body, sweet, good job, owns his home, great family. Seriously? He should just move to SF, he'd have a girlfriend in no time.
There's a montage of what's coming up this season and I'm totally excited - I forgot how great this show was!!
Let's meet the girls:
Ali (Blonde) - She's a 25 year old Advertising Account Manager from Williamstown, MA. She's adorable. I like her.
Alexa (Blonde) - She's a 25 year old Entrepreneur from Galloway, OH. She's ok. Meh. She rides a Harley and seems a little much.
Tenley (Brunette) - She's a 25 year old "College Admissions" person (?) from Newberg, OR. She sounds DUMB. She moved out here to be a dancer. She's been married before. She and her husband were both virgins when they got married and she never thought the marriage would end. Meh.
Elizabeth (Brunette) - She's a 29 year old Captain in the Air National Guard from Washington DC. I really like this girl. She's very down to earth and pretty.
Rozlyn (Blonde) - She's 28 year old Model/Make Up Artist from Richmond, VA. All she needs is a boob job and she'd be a playmate. She seems very plastic and superficial.
Christina (Brunette) - She's a 25 year old Restaurant Manager from San Diego, CA and a self-proclaimed "guy's girl" and "bitchy". I'm a little skeptical of this one. Girls who don't have girlfriends are total red flags to me. I have a lot of guy friends, but I also have really good girlfriends. It's the same with guys who only have girl friends. There needs to be a balance.
Vienna (Blonde) - She's a 23 year old Marketing Representative from Sanford, FL. This girl is not cute and looks like she'll be the trainwreck of the season. I have no evidence of this, she just looks like a trouble. AND, she's super spoiled and annoying. She's one of those girls who thinks she's hot and beautiful but she's so not. Ugh. I hate her already.
Ashley (Brunette) - She's a 29 year old Teacher from Pittsburgh, PA. She's cute.
Elizabeth (Brunette) - She's a 29 year old Nanny from Imperial, NE. She's really pretty but looks a lot older than 29.
Ella (Brunette) - She's a 29 year old Hair Stylist from Lafollette, TN. She's a Southern girl with a thick accent. She has a 7 (?) year old son, Ethan, which could be an issue for Jake. But maybe not.
Gia (Brunette) - She's a 26 year old Swimsuit Model from NYC. She seems like she used to be a bitch and entitled, but has been humbled by getting her heart broken several times. I'm on the fence.
Kimberly (Brunette) - She's a 24 year old NBA Dancer from Norman, OK. She's the cheerleader this season.
Emily (Brunette) - She's the 23 year old Fit Model from West Chester, OH. Hmmm. She's really annoying.
Tiana (Blonde) - She's a 31 year old Medical Technician from Vancouver, BC, Canada. She's alright. She seems to have a chip on her shoulder because she's a little older than the other girls.
Caitlyn (Brunette) - She's a 24 year old Spokesmodel from Winfield, IL and used to be in pageants. She does NOT look a pageant girl. She actually looks much older than 24 and she's not so cute.
Kirsten (Blonde) - She's a 25 year old Waitress from Aurora, CO. She's a little rough around the edges. She also looks older than she is. She says that she will "definitely cut a bitch" in this competition. Yikes.
Michelle (Brunette) - She's a 25 year old Office Manager from Anaheim, CA. Not very cute and also looks old.
Hmmm. That's only 17 of them. I guess we'll meet the rest later. Let the games begin...
I wish I would have seen The Bachelorette. What's wrong with this guy? Why a ton of first dates and no second dates? Maybe he's too clingy and needy? I don't know.
First carload of girls pulls up. Rozlyn comes out first. She looks like an older Hillary Duff ... and a porn star. Emily comes out next and is dumb. Ali is next and brings a peacock feather for Jake so he can attract a mate. I really like her. Next up is Jessie - we haven't previously met her. She's a 25 year old Cosmetic Sales Manager from Oakville, Ontario, Canada. She's a brunette with curly locks. Um, she's cute. Nothing special. She grabs his arms and asks if he has a registry for "these guns". He has no idea what she's talking about, so she giggles and gives him a hug. HA. Next is Tenley, the divorcee from OR.
Second carload arrives. First up is Ella, the one with the kid. She asks him how it feels to be talking to the woman he's going to marry. UGH. Dumb. Next out is another girl we didn't meet before: Kathryn - she's a 25 year old Corporate Flight Attendant from Lexington, KY. She's blonde and looks like a brown-eyed Carrie Underwood. Next is Caitlyn, the "pageant" girl who looks more like a judge than a participant. Dumb. Elizabeth (the National Guard) is next and I really like her. She seems so normal. Alexa is next. She's the Harley riding chick who comes out wearing motorcycle gloves. Dumb. Next out is Vienna...the spoiled brat. She asks to feel his abs. Dumb. Then we have Corrie - who we haven't met yet. She's a 23 year old Wardrobe Consultant from Kissimmee, FL. Next is Kimberly, the NBA dancer. She's cute. Another girl we have not met is Valishia. She's a 32 year old Homemaker from Carlsbad, CA. Um, what? What does mean? She has roots in Texas so she brought him some soil from Texas to represent their common ground. Gia, the Swimsuit Model, is next. She's super sexy-flirty with him and it's a little awkward. That was the first 15.
Next car arrives. Elizabeth, the Nanny, walks out and she is stunning. She has dark brown hair and blue eyes. Next is another new girl. Channy - she's a 29 year old Mortgage Loan Officer from Santa Rosa, CA and she's going home tonight. She starts talking to him in Cambodian - "the other language that I speak" - and it's just weird. She's the token minority this season. Ashleigh, the Teacher, comes out next and she's very friendly. I like her. Tiana is next and she tells him that she watched him all last season. Weird. She's also taller than him. Christina (the "guys girl") is next and she's not all that. She brought jelly beans for all the girls as "parting" gifts when they go home. Then she proceeds to hand them out to all the girls. Yikes. Not a good way to make a first impression on your - maybe - future roommates. Next is another newby. Ashleigh is the 25 year old Account Manager from North Potomac, MD. She totally trips right into Jake. I can't tell if it's fake or real, but it was funny. She's blonde and really pretty. Next is Kirsten, the Waitress from CO. She's very masculine. Next is another new girl. Stephanie is a 24 year old dance teacher from Morris, IL. She's cute and looks like Becca from Life Goes On. Does anyone remember that show? She's cute. Another new one is next. Sheila is a 25 year old Commercial Pilot from San Juan Capistrano, CA. She's wearing her aviator shades for Jake. She gives him the aviators since they are both "aviators". She's cute. Finally Michelle, the Office Manager, comes out. She gets all serious and then starts talking in flying metaphors. It's dumb and awkward.
That's all the women...now for the party.
Jake thanks all the women for coming and gives a very sweet welcome speech. CHEERS!! Let the drinking begin. All the girls GUSH over him. He grabs Ali for some one-on-one time. She trips and rips the hem of her dress as they walk up a couple of stairs. She laughs it off. She tells him that she was terrified of flying and even missed vacations due to her fear. But she overcame it to come to LA to meet him. She's really cute. She's a little sick and lost her voice, but she's really adorable. Then, Corrie walks up and cuts in. Ali is gracious and tells her it's ok. Corrie is boring. YAWN. Channy is next to get one-on-one time. She is totally annoying. You know what she said in Cambodian? You can land your plane on my landing strip any time. Wow. Ella goes up to him and takes him on a walk to talk about herself. She tells him about her son. She also says that she wants to have more kids.
Some of the girls are inside talking and Ashleigh "the Teacher" goes upstairs and changes into a flight attendant costume. This could either be really cute or really creepy. I like this girl, so I'm hoping it's cute and funny. The other "Ashleigh" who I thought was really pretty and who tripped on Jake when she met him is catty and bitchy about the costume. I think she's just pissed that she didn't think of it herself. Ashleigh "the Teacher" interrupts Jake and Ella to spend some alone time with him. Ashleigh tells Jake that she's getting her Ph.D. Elizabeth, "the Nanny" comes out and grabs him and has him throw the football with her. Then all the girls take off their shoes and they have a Blondes v. Brunettes football game. Brunettes win...of course.
FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE.
Who will get it?? Ok, Michelle - the Office Manager - is CRAZY. She says that she will be devastated if she doesn't get the first impression rose. Yikes. I hate to break it to you, but you're not going to get it. No way. She's so desperate to be married with kids. This girl will have a nervous breakdown when Jake finally sends her home. Seriously, she's staring at the rose with crazy eyes. The Porn Star - Rozlyn - asks Michelle if Jake is the right guy for her. Michelle gushes about how perfect he is and tells Rozlyn that she wants a husband and kids. Rozlyn tells her that she hopes it all works out for her. WTF? Rozlyn says she didn't know what to expect from this experience. She knows that she wants all of those things - kids, marriage, companionship - but she's not desperate for it. I think she could care less and this is all about being on TV and getting exposure for herself. She doesn't want Jake at all.
Vienna and Jake are chatting outside and she's so energetic. She seems like she's on speed or something. Crazy lady. Jake goes to talk to Kathryn and Kimberly. Kathryn is wearing what appears to be an engagement ring so Jake asks her what's up. Kathryn says that she's a Corporate Flight Attendant and has a fake fiance but she's ready to get rid of it and get a real one. She gives the ring to Jake and tells him she's looking for something real.
Stephanie takes Jake away from a group of girls to give him a dance lesson. Meanwhile, Michelle is having a bit of an emotional breakdown. She goes into the bathroom and cries. Drama. Michelle takes him away for some alone time. She's totally crying. Yikes. She tells him she's here to be his co-pilot and be married to him and have kids with him. He holds her hand and tells her that it means a lot to him that she has been so honest. Oh good LORD.
Chris comes in and says that Jake looks like he could use some help tonight so they called a couple of his friends...Jillian and Ed! Are they still together?? I thought he had some other girlfriend the whole time he was on the Bachelorette? Oh well. Ed and Jillian will be vetting out the girls.
Jake comes to talk to Jessie and Rozlyn. Jake interviews that Rozlyn is a sexy girl but he's not just looking for sex appeal. Good man. Jessie doesn't really like Rozlyn. She tells us that she doesn't think Rozlyn is here for the right reasons. Christina is with Jake next. She tells him to lie on the ground and has him play airplane with her.
Oh no. Michelle is talking to Ed and Jillian. She tells them that she's been waiting for one on one time with Jake for a long time and doesn't know why it wasn't happening and she goes on and on. Wow. Awkward. She's crazy!
Tenley gets Jake for some one on one time. She tells him ten things about "Tenley". Her 10th thing is that she's a good kisser and asks if she can give him a peck unless he thinks it's too forward. It's actually cute the way she does it. It's clear she's not trying to maul him or be aggressive. He agrees. He thanks her for being vulnerable. It was a sweet kiss. She starts freaking out a little with the other girls. She's only been with one guy before so she doesn't know that she was ready for it.
Jake checks in with Jillian and Ed. Ed liked Nanny Elizabeth. Jillian like Ella, the mommy. They liked Sheila, too - the pilot. Jillian also liked the Flight Attendant, Kathryn. Ed tells him to send Michelle - the crazy - home. Agreed.
Jake decides to give the First Impression rose to ... TENLEY. She's less annoying now that I've seen more of her. She's very sweet. Nanny Elizabeth is beautiful, but she's a little too confident. She interviewed that she would be VERY surprised if she didn't get the first rose. And now that she didn't, she looks pissed. Jake and Tenley go outside and he thanks her for opening up to him. It's very sweet.
ROSE CEREMONY
Michelle says that she has no doubt she'll be one of the 15 staying. Wow. Delusional ... or not.
Ok, roses go to:
Tenley - First Impression Rose.
Ella - The Mom. Hmmm.
Elizabeth - The Nanny. Well, she's pretty and Ed and Jillian gave her their seal of approval. She's kind of bitchy, but that will just make for better TV. :)
Ali - YEAH!! She's one of my favorites.
Vienna - WTF? Is he blind? And deaf? Ugh.
Christina - The Guy's Girl. She'll stir up some trouble for sure.
Gia - The spokesmodel from NYC.
Ashleigh - The Teacher. I like her a lot.
Rozlyn - UGH! Annoying. The Porn Star. She won't last.
Jessie - Interesting. She's cute.
Corrie - The boring one.
Valishia - The Homemaker. WTF?
Ashleigh - The girl who tripped when she met him. Cute, but a little bitchy.
Kathryn - The Corporate Flight Attendant with the fake fiance. She's spunky. I like her.
AND THE FINAL ROSE GOES TO....
Michelle - WHAT THE HELL????? IS HE INSANE??? Wow.
Most of the girls leave gracefully. There are some tears, but that's to be expected.
This season looks awesome!! See you next week.
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