Jersey Shore, Season 1, Season Finale

Last time the roommates went to Atlantic City, everyone hated on The Situation, Pauly D got a stalker and Ronnie got arrested.


The roommates - sans Ronnie - arrive at the house. Snickers is asking Sammi what she wants to do about Ronnie. She asks if she should call 911 and Sammi says "No, I think that's emergency or something." You THINK? Jeez. Snickers decides to call the local police department.

Vinny goes upstairs and tells Pauly D and the stalker (WTF?) that Ronnie got arrested. Um, why is Pauly D with the stalker? I forgot that they left the club together. Pauly D, if she's a stalker and you guys have only kissed, imagine how much worse it will be when you finally have sex with her. She will NEVER leave you alone.

Snickers talks to the police and they tell her that Ronnie's bail will be set at 6:30AM. Until then, he will be locked up. Sammi is dramatic and, again, manages to make this about her. She tells us that she has slept with Ronnie every night since she got to the shore and this is the first night she will be by herself. Hey Princess, I bet it's much worse for Ronnie. Plus, it's 3:30AM, so you only need to sleep for 3 HOURS by yourself. Dumb.

Well, it turned out to be longer than 3 hours because no one in that house could be bothered to get up at 6:30 to check on Ronnie. Instead, they practically sleep through his phone call at 9AM! The phone is quacking and everyone is sound asleep. FINALLY, Sammi picks up the phone and tells him she will pick him up.

Sammi arrives at Ocean County Jail to pick up Ronnie. At least his Ed Hardy shirt isn't glowing in the daylight - but it is still sparkly. Sammi takes him home and hugs him when they get out of the car. I bet he smells RIPE...you know, a little like jail, alcohol and AXE body spray. The Situation walks in and starts laughing because he doesn't know what to say. I get that - what do you say to someone who just gets out of jail? He and Sammi get in bed and nap. BUT not without her letting him know that she did not like him going to jail and that she had to sleep alone.

The other boys are all downstairs trying to figure out what to do tonight. Last day of Summer!!! The Situation gets on the phone and starts to call girls to meet up with them. None of them answer, so the guys decide to do a "guys night out". Snickers says that she only wants to see Keith. He's the best guy she's met all summer so she wants to spend her last weekend at the shore with him.

JWOW and Snickers are talking about Snickers calling Cowboy Keith and asking him out on a date. Snickers calls and leaves him a message asking if he wants to hang out.

HAHA. JWOW, The Situation and another guy are hanging out on the boardwalk in front of the T-shirt shop. JWOW says she doesn't want her bf, Tom, to come to the shore because she sees all the "gorillas" on the beach. A "gorilla" is a juice-head, muscle-man, steroid guy. Apparently, this is attractive. JWOW comes home to get Snickers out. She tells her to get up and get ready because it's "Gorilla central out there. Juiceheads EVERYWHERE."

Snickers tells us that a juicehead is a "hot, Italian, tan guy ... typically muscle-y." Um, I think a juicehead is someone who is on steroids, Snickers. Now they are walking on the beach and Snickers is pissed because she doesn't see any guido juiceheads.

The rest of the roommates all head out to the beach. They realize that they haven't been on the beach all summer. The Situation starts creepin' right away. Vinny is making fun of him because most of the girls look like they are in high school.

Snickers leaves the beach to ask Keith out on a date. I don't know why she's so desperate to find a date. Who cares? You're at the shore. Enjoy it!! Keith answers and Snickers asks him what he's doing. She's gets a little demanding. She asks: "Are you coming to Seaside or not?" Keith says that he wasn't planning on it but he needs to ask his buddy Dave. Snickers tells him that she's not asking his friend, Dave, she's asking him. He says he's really flattered and that he'd like to see her, but he needs to ask his friend. I'm guessing he doesn't have a car and needs to get a ride to Seaside.

Snickers tells us that they were supposed to have this date together - but I think it was just in her head. I don't think Keith knew anything about this date. She gets pissy and tells Keith that he should just say no if he doesn't want to hang out. Keith tells her that he'd like to see her but he's not sure if he can. Then he says that he feels bad and doesn't want to screw up her plans. Snickers gets all batshit crazy on him:

Snickers: "Why did you make me like you for no reason if you won't even hang out with me?"

Keith: "Whoa. What do you mean? How did I make you like me?"

Snickers: "Are you serious? I look like an a**hole right now honestly."

Keith: "I apologize. Things don't always work out well."

Snicker: "Wow. I guess I wasted my time. 'Bye."

Um, Snickers, if you look like an a**hole, it's your own damn fault. Seriously. Keith actually sounds like a pretty nice - albeit totally dumb and clueless - guy. She just turned into Danielle, the Stalker, a little right then. Snickers decides to hit the boardwalk. She's walking by a party and decides to dance on the boardwalk by herself. No joke. She just literally started dancing by herself. She looks up and sees her ex-boyfriend and she's still in love with him. She asks him to come to her house and he says "NO." Snickers tells us that she "boned him for 8 months" and still has feelings for him and he couldn't even say hi to her. She storms off down the boardwalk.

Snickers is back at the house, applying more bronzer and whining/crying about seeing her ex. Snickers: "I f*****' hate guys. I should be a f*****' lesbian."

The boys go to Captain Hooks for "Bro's Night". This place is like a "Chuckie Cheese for dudes" - The Situation. It really is. Skeet ball, air hockey, arcade....The boys talk about keeping in touch and what they are going to do after the show. Cute.

Sammi and Ronnie go out to dinner at Connolly Station in Belmar. Ronnie is SO whipped. He is just in love with Sammi. He thinks she's so hot. They talk about moving forward beyond the Jersey Shore. I give it a month.

Back at the house Snickers is crying. The Situation tries to calm her down. He tells her that if a guy doesn't like her, it's his loss and there are so many more to replace him. The Situation tells her that he's not inviting any girls over tonight and it's just roommates. So he tells her to come hang out with them. The Situation says that they are like a family and he doesn't like to see Snickers crying because she's like his sister. Ok, if that's true, then the fact that they are going to hook up is totally disgusting.

Vinny tells Snickers to snap out of it. I think he's tired of her whining around the house. I'm with Vinnie - she is annoying. Snickers asks Pauly D if he had a date and he says no. She says that's really sad. Vinny tells them that he doesn't feel sorry for Pauly D at all because he's ridiculously, ridiculously good-looking. Pauly D tells Vinny that he has really good taste in men. HA!

Vinny finally "gets The Situation" back for the Haterade. He dresses a big, red, stuffed bulldog in a T-Shirt that says "The Situation's #1 Girl." HAH. The Situation comes into the room and starts cracking up.

Snickers and The Situation are the only ones who decide to go in the hot tub. No one else wanted to go up there. They are drinking and he takes off her top. Then they start making out. The Situation tells us that he had to get out because he didn't want to go too far because he thinks of her as a sister. AGAIN...EW.

The roomies are making the last dinner. The Situation is putting together his "sausage and peppers and potatoes", Ronnie's doing the grill, JWOW is making a salad. Pauly D tells us that they are having "a nice little bbq". I wish I could write his accent. I love it!! They are all recounting the summer and the fights with Angelina and then the fight with JWOW and The Sitch in Atlantic City.

They are all on the roof talking. They are so cute. They are totally an Italian family. I love it!

The next day, The Situation leaves first. You can tell that they are Italian because they all tell each other they love each other - even the guys. The rest leave one by one.

I can't wait until next summer!!!