Jersey Shore, Season 1, Episode 8

Last time the gang went to Atlantic City and there was drama.

JWOW got really drunk at the club in Atlantic City and threw up. She went to find someone to walk her upstairs to the room and found The Situation - who was hooking up with a girl. The Situation refused to take her to the room and JWOW got pissed and hit him, so she got kicked out of the club. I'm not really sure why she needed someone to walk her UPSTAIRS to the room. Get in an elevator and take your drunk ass to the room by yourself. Why do you need an escort??

Anyhow, she goes upstairs and tells everyone she's going to punch The Situation in the face as soon as he comes home. So The Situation finally comes home and JWOW just comes right up to him and starts hitting him. Vinny tries to hold her back and she's yelling that The Situation got her kicked out of the club. Vinny thinks she's calm and tell her to go to bed and, as soon as he lets her go, she swings and backhands The Situation right across the mouth. JWOW is satisfied and goes to bed. He starts talking shit to JWOW and she comes back out and starts beating on him again. This time two private security guards come out of - I don't know where - and hold her back. She's like an animal. The Situation yells at JWOW to take some more testosterone and she goes at him again. She finally calms down and goes to bed ... for real this time.

Vinny tells us that he thinks it's funny that The Situation got punched in the face by JWOW. He says that it if were Ronnie or Pauly, he'd feel bad, but since it's Mike, he thinks it's funny. The Situation is shocked that JWOW hit him, so he keeps talking about it with everyone and talking shit about JWOW.

Snickers and JWOW are talking and JWOW is still WASTED. She can barely sit up. She tells Snickers that she's going to call Tom (her bf) and leave. Snickers tells her she's not leaving because there's only one week left. She says that if JWOW leaves, Snickers will "stuff your nose with tampons". Gross.

The next morning, the gang packs up and heads back to the shore. JWOW immediately calls Tom and tells him that she hit The Situation. She tells Tom that she drank too much and he asks her why she drank too much. He tells her that it upsets him when she drinks that much. MY GOD she sounds like a 60 year old smoker. Seriously, she could be one of Marge's sisters on The Simpsons. Yikes. Tom tries to listen, but he's clearly more concerned about JWOW's alcoholism. JWOW doesn't want to hear it and says bye and takes a nap. Yikes.

The Situation is up in his room complaining that Vinny continues to talk shit. The Situation is over it. He decides to retaliate. Sammi tells The Situation that he needs to walk away and get over it. She also tells him not to assume things and that he's better than this drama. Vinny and Pauly D go meet up with three girls that they previously met "creepin'" on the Boardwalk. Pauly D says that they are mad fun and cool girls. They want to go hang out on the boardwalk...BUT Pauly D has plans to hang out that night with Danielle. He doesn't really want to hang out with Danielle because she's kind of lame, so he decides to hang out on the boardwalk with the girls first. Pauly D and Vinny are on the boardwalk with the three girls and...what a coincidence, Danielle shows up. She walks up to Pauly D and kisses him. Vinny sees this and tells us that he's laughing to himself because it's so awkward. Danielle asks Pauly D if he's still hanging out with her tonight and he says that he will call her when he gets home. She kisses him again and walks away.

Snickers runs into Keith - the farmer - on the boardwalk. She asks him if he wants to hang out and do some dancing and he says yes. They head to Beachcombers and they are dancing and rocking out. Keith does a pretty wicked fist pump and he and Snickers are having a good time.

Vinny and Pauly D are playing arcade games with the three girls on the boardwalk. One of the girls decides to get a henna tattoo. They are at the tattoo place and Pauly D hears someone call his name. It's Danielle. He looks up and she's just standing there. Creepy. She throws him a T-Shirt and says "Don't say I never gave you something." WTF? This girl is crazy. The shirt says "I HEART Jewish Girls". Yikes. Pauly D tells us "Hell no I'm wearing that shirt." HAHA. Danielle tells Pauly D "Call me when you get home. You better call me. Don't be an a**hole. Because I'm not calling you." She kisses him and leaves...again. OMG. This girl is psycho. No wonder she's single. He said he would CALL YOU WHEN HE GETS HOME. Let him GET HOME, Crazy. Pauly D: "At this point, I'm starting to think 'Mad weird, that chick.'" Couldn't have said it better myself.

Snickers and Keith are walking on the boardwalk and Snickers asks for a piggyback ride. Snickers tells us that Keith is a romantic, good guy. Then she tells him that her crotch is hanging out so he puts her down. Snickers: "I told him to put me down because I'm not trashy...unless I drink too much."

There's an awesome scary ride on the boardwalk and one of the girls wants to go on it. Pauly D says that he'll go with her. It looks like so much fun. I would totally go on that ride. They go on the ride and when he gets off the ride, DANIELLE IS STANDING THERE. WTF? She walks up to Pauly D and hugs him and asks him when he's going home. Vinny calls her a "stage 5 clinger". HAHA. She tells Pauly D to go home and he says he will in a few minutes. Then Danielle turns jealous and asks which girl Pauly D likes. He doesn't answer and Danielle says that she doesn't want to interrupt his little date so... THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP FOLLOWING and INTERRUPTING HIM??? Pauly D tells her for the THIRD time: "I'll call you when I get home...like I told you!" Seriously, Pauly D talks a lot of shit with The Situation, but he's not an asshole. He's a nice guy. Danielle is just crazy. She finally walks away...AGAIN.

The girls were nervous about Danielle so they left and Vinny and Pauly D go home. As soon as the guys walk in the house, the phone starts quacking. Vinny thinks it might be the girls calling to hang out again, but Pauly D thinks it's Danielle and tells Vinny not to answer it. Vinny thinks it might be the girls so Pauly D tells him to answer and pretend he's The Situation. Vinny answers and Danielle says "Hi Mike, can I talk to Pauly, please." Vinny forgets who he is and says "Mike's not here." and then covers the phone and starts laughing. Pauly runs to the other room laughing. Danielle says "Mike. This is Mike." Vinny - impersonating The Situation - says "Yeah, Pauly's not here...uh...um...he went to da Boardwalk...yeah...da Boardwalk. Yo, who dis?" Danielle: "It's Danielle." Vinny: "Aiight. Yo, Jenny! You know when Pauly's comin' back?" Danielle: "No, it's all good. It's fine. Thank you." Vinny: "Yo Danielle, you want me to take a message?" Danielle "No, it's fine." Vinny: "You sure, you sure?" Danielle: "Yeah, it's all good. bye."

HAHA. Vinny's impression was hysterical. Pauly D tells us that he told her he would call her and she couldn't wait and called him. So now he's not going to call her and when she calls him AGAIN - which she will - he's going to tell her it's over because she's too crazy.

The Situation decides to play a prank on Snickers. He slices up a bunch of pickles and puts them under her bed. I'd be pissed that The Situation WASTED ALL MY PICKLES. Not that he played a joke. Pauly D lays on Snickers and distracts her, while The Situation plants pickles all over her room. That's not enough for him, so he decides to play a joke on Vinny. He makes concoction of mayo, grated cheese, milk, caesar dressing, and pickle juice in a bowl and puts it under Vinny's bed. Gross. He and Pauly D call it Haterade. Gross.

Vinny wakes up and notices that his room smells disgusting. Snickers wakes up and smells pickles. Then she sees them. She knew that it was Pauly D and The Situation. She's not mad about the joke, she's mad about the wasted pickles! Right?! I hear you, Snooks.

JWOW comes into the kitchen and Ronnie and Sammi ask her if Danielle called for Pauly D. JWOW says no and asks what happened. Ronnie tells JWOW "She was stalking his life on the boardwalk." OMG. New favorite phrase: Stalking my life. HAHA.

Phone rings. The Situation answers and it's Danielle and asks for Pauly D. Pauly D tells us that he just met the girl and she's already "stalking my whole life". HAHA. I love it. He gets on the phone and Danielle tells Pauly D that she doesn't know what's going on but she doesn't like to be played. She says that she feels stupid. She says she kissed him at the club and on the boardwalk and then he's with three girls and then she walks by and sees him at home with three girls. Pauly D waits for an opening and asks if it's his turn to talk yet. Danielle screams "WAIT!" She tells him that he shouldn't say he's going to call if he's not going to call. As she's going on and on, Pauly D keeps asking if it's his turn yet in a totally calm voice over and over.

Danielle finally screams: "WAIT!! I don't need this. If you're that guy, then let's not do this. Go do your thing....Now it's your turn."

So Pauly D says: "OK. So you stalked my whole life on the boardwalk. And then, when I got home, I had every intention of calling you but you had already called and you said you wasn't gonna call. So you stalked my whole life on the boardwalk...

Danielle tries to interrupt.

Pauly D: "It's my turn to talk - you stalked my whole entire life, right, and I don't like that. I do nothing wrong and you know how I feel about...

Danielle tries to interrupt again.

Pauly D: "Hey, I'm talking now. You know how I felt about you. You just have no trust whatsoeva, so you thought I was creepin' with those chicks which I wasn't. I went on one ride. God bless me, it's f-in' summa. Yes, I was upstairs on the roof with three chicks and three dudes. Did I do anything? NO. All we did was have a conversation, that's it. All those girls have boyfriends. IF you weren't such a stalker, I would have called you when I got home. Instead..."

Danielle: "I am not a stalker!!"

Pauly D:"Yes you are. It's crazy. I can't deal with that."

Danielle: "I am not a stalker and I am not crazy. I don't want to look stupid." Too late.

Pauly D: "You don't want to look stupid? Don't you think that makes you look stupid? You say you're not callin' and then you call like 100 times?"

Danielle: "I didn't call 100 times."

Pauly D: "How many times did you call? We took the phone off the hook last night. All I wanted to do was call you when I got home so we could hang out. You wouldn't let that happen. You were so worried about how you're gonna look because people see me walkin' with three girls. 'blah blah blah, I don't want to look stupid.' Well, now look how stupid you look." CLICK. Danielle is still yelling and Pauly D just hangs up on her ass. Done and done.

Pauly D says that he hopes Danielle got the hint since he hung up on her. He tells us that Danielle is not looking for a hook up, she's looking for a husband. And Pauly D is not ready for that.

Sammi and The Situation are working at the T-Shirt shop and talking. The Situation tells Sammi that she looks really cute in her sweatshirt. Sammi says "thaank yaou." I can't phonetically spell it correctly, but it sounds like baby girl talk. Annoying. She bugs me so much. The Situation tells us that it's "obvious" that Sammi has a crush on him and it goes back to "prehistoric kindergarten". WTF? I don't know. The Situation tells Sammi that Vinny bothers him because Vinny hates on The Situation behind his back. So he tells Sammi about the Haterade he put under Vinny's bed.

Later that night, they all go out. Vinny gets in a car with Sammi and Ronnie and Sammi tells Vinny about the Haterade, but tells him not to say anything. They are bowling!! Fun. JWOW feels tension with The Situation after Atlantic City. So she takes The Situation outside so they can talk. The Situation tries to get JWOW to see how wrong she was to hit him. JWOW says that The Situation was wrong for not walking her to the room so it's his fault. Dumb. I have to side with The Situation on this one. The Situation changes the tone of the conversation and smiles and says that he understands that JWOW sees him as a "father figure" in the house. They both laugh and then The Situation hugs her and they make up. The gang leaves bowling and goes back to the house.

Vinny gets the Haterade out of his room. The Situation decides to come clean and Vinny shows that there's nothing under his bed. AAAAHHHHH. Vinny says that The Situation's prank didn't work. The Situation says that his room stunk so it did work.

Vinny tells The Situation that some of the stuff he does is a little embarrassing, like his swagger and the way he talks to girls. Vinny says that's the only reason he has tension toward The Situation - because Vinny can't bring girls back to the house because The Situation is so embarrassing. The Situation tells Vinny that he really doesn't give a f*** what people say about him and if people don't like him, they can go f*** themselves. Vinny tells The Situation that he's just letting him know why he has beef with him and he's telling him to his face, not behind his back. Ronnie pipes up and says that the person he met in the beginning is not the same person he knows now. Ronnie: "You just started changin' bro." Sammi is laying in bed with all the guys talking in the room. She says "Agree" to Ronnie. The Situation is feeling attacked by both Vinny and Ronnie. Ronnie keeps telling The Situation to be himself, bro.

The Situation tells Ronnie that he doesn't even know him. Then he points to Vinny and says "Neither does he know me neither." HAHA. The Situation reminds the guys that they've only known each other for 27 days. The Situation says he's been the same guy for the last 27 days.

The Situation: "Have I got girls? Yeah. Have they all been pretty? Some days no, some days yes." HAHA.

Pauly D tells us that, like it or not, The Situation is who he is. That's how he's been the whole time. You don't have to like him. He doesn't have to be your boy. Who's anyone to judge anyway.

The Sitch: (to Ronnie) "But you'll never get a girl over me, son, 'cuz I'll always get 'em first."

Ronnie: "No,'cuz I've got the best f-in 10 you've ever seen and you're still bringing home 3s, 4s and 5s. You still have not brung home a girl better looking than Sam." Oh jeez. No wonder Sammi acts like such an entitled diva. TOO MUCH POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.

The Sitch: "I hooked up with Sam first, so wassup?"

Ronnie: "That's why you're still creepin' on her."

The Sitch: "I ain't creepin' on her."

Sammi wakes up to say "Yes you are." STFU Sammi. UGH. She's so annoying.

Ronnie interviews that he got Sammi a long time ago. "I already got that title a long time ago, bro. I already got the title for that closing. You know what I mean? Like, c'mon bro." I love it.

They all argue about the girls The Situation brought home and how they weren't cute and Ronnie wants to beat up The Situation and The Situation made out with Sam first... yada, yada, yada. Sammi tells them all "Who the f*** cares, GO TO BED." And...scene.

Next night, the gang goes out and Snookie decides to go all out. She's wearing a corset dress with her boobs hanging out. Vinny says that she looks like a birthday cake. They go to KARMA, of course. There's a lot of fist pumping and dancing. What a coincidence...Danielle is there. She walks up to Pauly D and tells him that he embarrassed her and he tells her that she embarrassed him.

Danielle: "I never stalked a guy in my f*****'life ... and I don't need to start. I don't look f****** that bad that I need to f******' stalk, okay?"

Pauly D: "You wanna dance?"

Danielle: "Nobody f******' disses me, okay?"

Pauly D: "You wanna dance?"

Danielle: "No, I don't wanna f****** dance. I f****** hate you!"

Pauly D: "I didn't do anything, bro."

Danielle: "Don't call me bro."

The Situation walks up and saves him.

Meanwhile, Snookie is making out with some guy on a couch at KARMA. Two girls come up and tell Snookie that he has a girlfriend who has been watching from across the bar. The guy denies having a girlfriend and Snickers takes off. She's pissed. She starts bitching to a new "friend", Dimitrios.

Danielle and Pauly D are still arguing. He just has a smirk on his face the whole time. It's like he's teasing her and she is pissed. He's amused and they eventually leave the club together hand in hand. HAHA. She's going to be the loser in this. She already is. He's got nothing to lose by continuing to hook up with her and she's just letting it happen.

Back at KARMA, there's some serious fist pumping and beating up the beat going on. Lots of Ed Hardy in the house. Dimitrios is telling Snickers that's he a good guy and Snickers tells us that she finally found the guy that she wants...except he doesn't have muscles and he's not tan, but whatever, girl needs to get laid.

They all leave KARMA and some girls are yelling "Get out of Seaside Heights" and "Get out of Seaside with your tramp outfit, tramp!" So, I think they are actually yelling at about Snickers because she's basically in lingerie. But, since Sammi thinks the world revolves around her, she gets involved thinking that they are talking about her. Sammi keeps talking back and the girls tell her that she's dressed like a whore and then ask why Snickers is in her Halloween costume. HAHA. There's a guy with the girls who are yelling and they are just arguing back and forth. This is where my mother's wisdom would come in handy: Just walk away. That's it. Walk away.

There's pushing and shoving and finally security comes out and pushes the guy away. So the roommates start walking home again. The Situation was leading the pack and Ronnie was in the back. The guy gets away from security and starts mouthing off again...yelling! Not hitting, not pushing, not shoving. Yelling. He was obviously far back enough that Ronnie got pissed and RAN to him and hit him so hard, he knocked him out. Ronnie walks back to his friends and yells "that's one shot. That's one shot. That's one shot" all proud about knocking this guy out. Dumb. The cops show up and talk to Ronnie. God he looks ridiculous in that sparkly shirt. The cops tell Ronnie that he's getting arrested because he knocked him out cold. Doesn't matter that it was self defense because the guy didn't hit him and he knocked him out cold. The police take Ronnie away and Sammi dramatically walks home with Snickers.

See you next week.