"Rebuked, Reunited, Renewed"
RAMONA
Ramona is doing a walk-through at the Pierre with her wedding planner, Roberta. Ramona is "over the top"excited about her renewal marriage to Mario. It's a spectacular venue. Not really my style, but it's so Ramona.
JILL & BETHENNY
Jill and Bethenny meet for lunch to talk about their friendship. Oy. They make small talk about Bethenny's pregnancy. Jill tells us that she called Bethenny to have lunch because "this fight has gone totally berserk." Oh sure, when Bethenny called you to talk about how crazy things have gotten, you told her that you got a hobby and were over it. Now that she's over you, it's time to talk? Ugh. I hope Bethenny kicks Jill's ass to the curb.
Jill starts by apologizing for rejecting Bethenny when she tried to reach out to her at Ramona's house a few weeks (months) back. It's a good strategy. If you want to mend a friendship, it helps to start with an apology. Bethenny is still very hurt by what has happened. Jill missed all the major milestones in Bethenny's life because she was selfish and stubborn. This whole mess is really all Jill's fault. If Jill felt that Bethenny snubbed her and Bobby when he was going through his cancer ordeal and was offended by the "get a hobby" comment, she should have called Bethenny out on it and had it out then. By talking shit about Bethenny for months and getting reinforcement from Luann, it escalated and became bigger than it needed to be. In the process, she totally missed being there for Bethenny when she fell in love, got pregnant, got engaged and lost her dad. I'm all about forgiveness, but I'm not sure a friendship can recover from that.
Bethenny essentially tells her that Alex and Ramona (who knew?) were the ones who stepped up for her and that she doesn't know that she can repair this relationship because she feels so damaged by it. This conversation seems super dramatic, but I think it's because Bethenny is still angry and hurt. Now Jill's ready and Bethenny isn't. Jill starts to cry and tell Bethenny that she only wants the best for her even if they can't be friends. She also LIES and says that she NEVER gossips about Bethenny. Whatever. Of course, Jill tells us that "there's no reason for her to cut me out. No reason." I wish Jill could actually take some responsibility for real instead of just "saying" it to Bethenny. She's so completely self absorbed. How did this happen? I used to love Jill. She used to be my favorite on this show. And, I used not really like Bethenny. But now, I can't stand Jill and I really like Bethenny. Weird.
In the middle of a serious moment where Jill asks where they go from here, she tells Bethenny that she made potato latkas for her. WTF? Hello awkward transition. Jill says that her relationships with all the housewives have gotten so bad and she asks how this happened. I think she meant it as a rhetorical question, but Bethenny takes the opportunity to TELL her how it happened. Jill cries and disagrees. Then she says that she needs to remove toxic people from her life, including Alex. Bethenny thinks it's ridiculous that Jill thinks Alex is toxic. I think it's kind of funny, too. I think Luann and Kelly are the toxic ones. They are all so delusional about themselves. Jill and Bethenny say good bye and agree to meet again for lunch after the holidays.
LUANN
Why is it that all the trannies on this series always record a song? Jo started it on Real Housewives of the OC. Then Kim did it on Atlanta. Now, it's Luann on NYC and I hear Danielle is getting ready to record on NJ. Jo isn't a real tranny, but after her, it's been trannies all the way. Kim, Luann and Danielle. UGH.
It's time for Luann to humiliate herself at her launch party. Jill comes in with Bobby. Then, the music producer comes in with about 20 young "playmates" (??). It was very bizarre. I guess he wanted to make sure she had an audience. Ha. Luann tells Jill and Chris (music producer) that Jacques is coming. Apparently he's her new bf and he's French. Sonja arrives and asks Luann if Cord is going to be there. Luann tells her that Cord is out and Jacques is in. Luann explains to Sonja that something just "clicked" with her and the "European" and (I'm sure) super wealthy Jacques. I think what "clicked" was his wallet.
Jacques arrives and greets Luann. She really likes the short men. She brings him over to the girls so they can judge...er...meet him. Ok, I need to comment on Luann's outfit. It looks fine, but it's so 2000. I say this because my friend had animal print fancy pants like Luann's in 2000 that she would wear out with a black top. I didn't realize this look had come back in style after only 10 years of being "out" but I could be wrong.
Oh look!!! The new (fired) housewife, Jennifer, is there trying to be relevant. Glaringly absent from the party are Alex, Ramona and Bethenny (although, I understand why Bethenny isn't there). Oh dear, it's time for the singing. Luann comes out in her tranny voice and introduces herself and sings. It doesn't disappoint. All the housewives are dancing like the cougars they are. That song is so heavily produced. Oh no...the rap is out of control. I'm...I'm...actually speechless. Money can't buy you class or a singing voice.
Jill and Kelly have an intellectual conversation after the performance about elegance and how it has to be learned and doesn't just come with being rich. And Jill is actually serious when she says this to Kelly. Are you kidding me?
Sonja asks who is going to Ramona's wedding. Jill says she's not sure. Luann tells her that she'd be upset if someone kicked me out of their house. And then Sonja says she'd be upset if someone showed up without calling. Jill and Luann say that Jill was invited. Sonja corrects them and says she was invited for 5 days, not for ONE. Sonja is finally speaking up. She's always so neutral. Good for her. Luann and Jennifer start interrupting Sonja and she finally tells them to STFU. She says that no one but Kelly was there and when Kelly left, the rest of the girls were finally able to get some peace and quiet (ZING!). So Sonja says that Jill's surprise appearance just shocked everyone and was not the greatest idea - particularly since Jill knew that there had been so much Kelly drama.
BETHENNY
They are packing up her place in the Upper East Side to move in with Jason in Soho. Every couple goes through the blending of homes arguments where the guy wants to display something totally stupid and ugly and the girl won't allow it. In this case, Jason wants a basketball signed by the globetrotters to be "on display" in their new place, but wants Bethenny to get rid of some of her 15 jars. Bethenny argues that her jars "contain stuff" and can be used for many things. Jason correctly notes that all 15 are EMPTY. AHAHA! Then he sees a box of stemless wine glasses. He says that he has some of his own that he can bring and Bethenny asks him if his are Riedel glasses. He says no and she says "then don't bring them." HAHA!
They are moving downtown which is something she's been dying to do for a long time. It's so exciting to move in with someone!! I'm really happy for her.
RAMONA
Ramona and Avery get their hair done at Oscar Blandi for the wedding/renewal thing. I love Avery. Ramona is trying to have a conversation with Avery while she gets her hair washed and Avery tells her that she can't hear her. So Ramona moves closer and keeps talking. Avery asks Ramona if she's going to cry. Avery tells her to be strong. Ramona asks if Avery will cry and Avery says "Why would I cry?" HA.
After the hair is done, they head to the Pierre to get their make up done and get dressed for the main event. Ramona freaks out while she's getting her make up done because she can't find her speech/vows. She finally finds it as Jill arrives at the door to surprise her. It's a good surprise this time and they hug it out. Ramona gives Jill some really good advice that I think everyone should really think about. She tells her to think about where others are coming from and not just your own perspective.
All the ladies arrive and compliment each other. Bethenny's dress has pheasant feathers on it and she's worried what the PETA people will say. I wouldn't worry because you don't have to kill birds to get their feathers, but knowing PETA, they'll find something wrong with it. Kelly looks super awkward in her strapless dress and says that she's not used to dressing sexy. Um, except for the fact that every other dress you own barely covers your ass. WTF?
They all talk about how the Bethenny/Jill drama is "resolved" and then Kelly blurts out that she forgot to RSVP to the wedding. Um, what? It's a wedding (sort of). You can't NOT RSVP and then show up.
Ramona is so cute. I really like her. She is standing next to Avery in the mirror and she starts to tear up at how beautiful her daughter has become. It's very sweet.
Jill and Jennifer get into catty mode. Jill bitches that there's no food and they've been waiting for an hour and Jennifer says she would never serve champagne before the ceremony. Jeez. The event planner shows up to seat Jill, Jennifer and Kelly and Jennifer immediately turns to Kelly and says "Would you hire that woman to plan your party?" Wow. I guess they told her she wasn't going to be a housewife afterall and she decided to bring out the claws.
Avery is bitching that she can't carry the dog down the stairs AND her flowers. OMG. The dog? Seriously? WTF? People are weird. WTF is the dog doing in the ceremony with a blue satin dress on. TACKY.
The ceremony is beautiful and fun, which is awesome. I could tell by the look on Luann's face that she did not approve of the jokes or the informal nature of the ceremony. It was a great ceremony and the vows were so sincere and beautiful.
Ok, Kelly is CHEAP. She shows up to the renewal/wedding without an RSVP and the gift she brings Ramona is a photo album filled with pictures Kelly took on the girls' vacation. Seriously? You have a shitload of $$ and this is what you give?
Bethenny takes the opportunity to get emotional and thank Ramona and Alex for being such great friends to her. Ramona asks Luann to get the party started with her song. OY.
It was a great season ladies!! Here is what is happening with the ladies now:
LUANN: Luann found a pied-a-tierre in the city. She's still seeing Jacques and she is about to release her second single "Chic C'est La Vie" (Life is Chic). [insert eye roll here.]
RAMONA: After renewing her vows, Ramona skipped a second honeymoon and headed off to Kenya for a renewing all-girls safari. Mario and Avery enjoyed a quiet three weeks. :)
SONJA: Sonja is continuing to write a "sexy society" novel she's had in the works since her divorce. (i.e. nothing is going on with her).
KELLY: Kelly remains committed to a life full of lollipops, unicorns and rainbows ... and spends much of her time being charitable. (she's also got nothing going on).
ALEX: Alex is taking her new attitude on the road to promote her new parenting book. And if you don't like it, too bad!
JILL: Jill misses her friendship with Bethenny and hopes they'll be close again. Bobby is healthy and Aly heads off to college in the fall.
BETHENNY: Bethenny got married, had a baby and she's sharing it all on her new show "Bethenny Getting Married?"
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