All of our faves are back: Wes, KellyAnne, Derrick, Sarah, Evan, Dunbar, Kenny, Katie, Susie, Johanna, Johnny Bananas, Veronica
Maria Menounos is hosting the reunion show. Um, isn't she more important than this? I feel like Maria Menounos is too good to be hosting a Real World/Road Rules Reunion show. Maybe I give her too much credit.
We see a recap of the final challenge. Maria asks Susie why she didn't just cut a deal with KellyAnne and Sarah. Susie says she would have made more money if she had, but she wanted to actually win the money. Maria asks the guys if they thought Susie had made a deal and Evan says that Susie played it straight from the beginning - although Bananas says he had his doubts. Maria asks who had deals and who didn't. No one would cop to anything. Wes says that he got "evil vibes" from Susie the whole time. Whatevs.
Next up on the hot seat: Brad and the fight that got him kicked off the show. They show the fight again and that is crazy. Darrell just freaks out! Brad says that it had nothing to do with Darrell, but Susie disagrees. She thinks that it wasn't a coincidence that it was Darrell and that he represented all the Brad was going to lose. But, Brad sticks to his story and says that he missed his home life. Who cares?
Next up: Wes. He says that, aside from trying to throw the first challenge, he did NOTHING to anyone on the team and that his team ganged up on him. KellyAnne nods in agreement. Solidarity sister. Wes says he didn't come into this as an a**hole. He says he made TWO mistakes. First, he got way into Johnny's face and he apologized for that and he wishes he could take it back. And, second, he got too into the fight with Darrell (when he was badmouthing KellyAnne).
Maria asks Veronica about Wes's strategy to throw the first challenge. Veronica says she didn't think Wes had a choice and then KellyAnne chimes in and says that Wes had to do that. Shut up, KellyAnne. Maria says that Susie is furrowing her eyebrows and Susie says that sometimes you need to ask whether it's Wes or EVERYONE ELSE who is wrong. Heh.
Next up: The Kenny - Johanna - Wes - KellyAnne - Cohutta hexagon of drama. Wes gives Kenny props for acting way more gentlemanly than he expected. Of course, this causes Kenny to smirk arrogantly. Kenny gets up and walks over to Wes to give him a "bro hug" and says "Come here you big red-headed slut." HAHA. Kenny is a d-bag, but he can be funny sometimes. Wes says that he doesn't think Johanna made an effort to be his friend throughout the game. She thinks the same of him. Maria asks why that is. Stupid. Johanna says that it could've been that she hooked up with Kenny on TV or that she hooked up with Kenny - who used to be Wes's friend or a combo of both. Duh.
The conversation shifts to KellyAnne and Evelyn being put in the Ruins. Wes agrees with the Champions that it was actually a strategic decision and not so much about Wes. Kenny and Bananas say that the CHALLENGERS were actually all in on it and were in favor of it, too. KellyAnne says that a lot of her own teammates were "in" with the Champions which she thought was weird. THEN, Sarah says to KellyAnne that she was "in" with the Champions, too, because she was sleeping with WES!! KellyAnne says that Wes was NOT "the other team". Um, yeah he was. Then Wes says that Sarah would have slept with "the other team" - meaning, Kenny - if he would have let her. Ouch. So KellyAnne says that Sarah shouldn't criticize her for doing something she actually wanted to do. Dumb. The whole conversation...Dumb.
Next up: Trashtalk. The crazies!! Katie and Tanya!! Kenny and Evan talking crap about Katie, Tanya and Sarah. Sarah is making excuses for Kenny. Wow...she's such a victim. Sarah admits that she let Kenny get away with it because she had a little crush. Bananas hits the nail on the head: he says that she's got Battered Woman's Syndrome and she's going to come up with every excuse for what he's said to her. And she continues to do so. Ugh. She LOVES that Kenny is even talking to her so she takes the abuse.
This season was the season with the most people sent home. Wow. Next up: The Tanya/Veronica slap heard 'round the world. In hindsight, Veronica says that she shouldn't have called Tanya crazy. She says that it was shocking to her that all the guys took Tanya's side. Evan says that Veronica is a rational adult and everyone gives her credit for being a grown woman. Evan says that Tanya is not a rational person and she was going through some stuff. Veronica says that she's not a "politician" like Evan and that she gets emotional. UGH. Evan has a point. Tanya is sick. She has some very serious issues. Veronica should have walked away, but she just didn't. Veronica says that she didn't think Tanya should have been there at all because she wasn't emotionally ready for that environment. I will agree with Veronica there, but since when has that stopped MTV?
Evan and Veronica swear that they did not hook up. Hmmm. I'm not sure I believe that.
Quick recap of the season. The End.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Real Housewives OC, Season Five - Episode 6
"All Girls Weekend"
GRETCHEN
She's packing for Florida and Slade asks if he can fit in her suitcase. Gretchen tells him that she "kind of" wishes he was going. Then she tells him that Simon is going because he follows Tamra wherever she goes. Slade says that Simon is going because he is the 6th housewife. Gretchen tells Slade that had that reputation for awhile and Slade says he passed the baton. They hug and say they wish Slade could come and she pouts that she's going to have to deal with the "crazies" by herself. Then she says that Vicki told them to bring long pants and a long-sleeved shirt and shoes she can get wet so Gretchen thinks they are doing something in the Everglades. Then she says something about having issues if there are animals she doesn't like and Slade makes a comment about the women all being animals. dumb.
LYNNE
Lynne is lying in bed with some pillows under her head. It's been a week and her face is still a little swollen and she's really great ... and so much more clueless than usual. She's whining that she feels bloated and Frank says that her face is bloated so she puts ice on it. Then she asks Frank if the anti-biotics make her loopy and he says no. I guess she's just loopy.
VICKI
Vicki arrives at the W in Fort Lauderdale. Her suite is amazing. I wanna go. I promise not to bring a boy. The rest of the girls - and Simon - arrive sans Alexis (she's coming tomorrow with her hubby). They check in and Tamra interviews that she hopes Vicki won't be pissed that she and Alexis brought their husbands. Um...of course she's going to be pissed. Vicki INVITED the girls for a "girls weekend" and planned the whole trip. It's totally rude to bring your husband...he wasn't invited. If you're not allowed to travel without your husband, then don't go!
Vicki is waiting for all of them in the bar and welcomes them. Vicki is impressed that Lynne is there only 10 days after her surgery. I agree with Vicki -- she looks great and HEAVILY medicated. :) As if things couldn't get any worse with Simon there...SLADE shows up to surprise Gretchen. Are you f-ing kidding me?? It's a girls weekend. Why does no one else recognize this but me and Vicki. I mean, my friends and I have girls nights all the time and no one's spouse or boyfriend shows up. WTF? These girls are so co-dependent and with the douchiest guys. Pathetic. The guys, too. What guy wants to hang out with his wife/girlfriend and all of her friends? Dumb. Vicki is 100% right - this is a trip that SHE planned and none of the husbands even asked her if they could join.
ALEXIS
This woman is ridiculous. She's going to Florida for a WEEKEND and she has a luggage dedicated to hair/make up, a luggage dedicated to shoes and then one (or more) for all of her outfits. Is she serious? I'm so glad I'm not high maintenance. It's just way too much work and so obnoxious.
THE GIRLS
Vicki planned a tour through the Everglades. The girls take off in a helicopter and Vicki yells the whole time...so annoying. Stop screaming. They arrive in the Everglades and their tour guide, Bubba, greets them. Gretchen is dressed like Camouflage Barbie. She's got on camouflage capris, a black sports bra, and a camouflage bandana. All the women look like their at a photo shoot, not a safari adventure in the Everglades. They freak out the whole time at the boars and alligators and crocs. I feel like these women have never been to a zoo.
Vicki, Tamra and Gretchen go on an air boat for the final leg of the tour. Lynne stayed on land and took a magic pill and a nap at the visitor's center. That air boat looks like such a blast.
The girls come back to the visitor's center to pick up a heavily sedated Lynne.
The girls all head to dinner and Alexis joins them. Alexis is pretty, but must she always have that Jennifer Garner pout?? Relax the upper lip, Alexis. Oh wait, maybe she can't. It might be part of her botox regimen. Ugh. The conversation quickly turns to how sweet Slade is for surprising Gretchen. Alexis says that she heard Slade put flower petals all over the room and surprised Gretchen. Vicki rolls her eyes and says that Slade is all about the "Wow". She has a point and, while I agree with Vicki, I don't think she should have pursued this conversation. It's really none of her business what Gretchen does and who she does it with. Gretchen says that she thinks she and Slade will get married. Vicki interviews that she has seen this before with Jo. Vicki gives Gretchen shit for "taking" Jo's man. Gretchen gets defensive and then admits that Jo is pissed off at her and Slade.
Tamra says that they are all going to the club next door after dinner and meet up with the guys. Vicki says she's not going. She has no desire to be with all the girls and their spouses. Vicki says she feels uncomfortable being there. They all give her crap for not going and call her a party pooper which is SO LAME. Those girls ruined the party, so they should just leave Vicki to do her thing. Lynne isn't going either because she needs to recover and rest. Gretchen, Tamra and Alexis order shots and their boys all show up. Simon asks where Vicki is for no other reason than to start a Vicki bashing session. Gretchen tells him that Vicki went to her room to cry. At first, Tamra looks uncomfortable with the conversation but then she totally joins in throwing her bff under the bus. Alexis is the only one who actually defends Vicki and tries to tell the other girls to back off. Jim pipes up and asks why Vicki is upset and Tamra says that it's a girls weekend. Jim asks what the problem is since the guys "let" the girls have their day/dinner. Then Tamra has to say that Vicki wanted to control the situation and Jim says that it's a control thing. Shut up, Jim. That guy is such a troll. Vicki is irritated that her girlfriends are stepford wives and can't go anywhere without their uber controlling husbands.
Simon says that Vicki has always been jealous of his marriage with Tamra. Tamra tells him not to say that, but Simon says it's true. Then Simon interviews that he doesn't like Tamra's relationship with Vicki because he's seen changes in Tamra in the last couple of years that he doesn't like. I think Simon is realizing that Tamra's ignorance was bliss, but now that she's not so ignorant, he doesn't like it. He's such a douche-bag. Tamra realizes her part in the Vicki bashing session and immediately regrets contributing and not standing up for Vicki. Well, she should.
TAMRA & VICKI
Tamra and Vicki are having a manicure together because Tamra is feeling guilty about the night before. Vicki tells Tamra that she called some friends last night because she needed some support. She also acknowledges that she may have been hyper sensitive. She tells Tamra that she needs friends who are supportive and have her back and she doesn't always feel like Tamra is that friend. AGREED. See footage of last night. Vicki is upset and says that she's already cried twice this trip and she doesn't want to be sad. Vicki says that she doesn't feel like people understand her and that makes her sad and that when Simon looks at her he's filled with hate for her. Tamra disagrees and says that Simon and Vicki are a lot alike. I agree...they are both strong, independent and controlling people. Tamra doesn't want to be put in the middle. Vicki tells Tamra that she needs to know she can count on her and Tamra says that she will always have Vicki's back...except last night.
THE GUYS
Slade, Jim and Simon are golfing and having lunch. These guys are such chicks. Jim tells Slade that he heard that Vicki doesn't like Slade because she thinks he doesn't really like Gretchen and that he's just taking advantage of a situation. The situation being that Gretchen just got several million from Jeff's estate AND she's making $$ on the show and Slade is a loser who has no $$. Slade denies that this is true and he says that he and Vicki will have a serious problem if that's really what she thinks. Slade says that the real issue is that Vicki likes attention and likes to be in the lead and in front. Simon pipes in and says that Vicki doesn't like him either. Jim says that if all that is true then Vicki is going to be pissed tonight. I guess Vicki rented a boat for all the girls to do a sunset cruise and now the guys have invited themselves on the boat. How incredibly rude. Seriously...this whole show is so infuriating. Vicki plans this whole weekend for the girls and these controlling assholes just invite themselves to join in. RUDE.
CRUISE
Tamra comes to Vicki's door to ask her if she's ready to go on the cruise. Vicki interviews that she was really excited about the cruise - that she planned and probably paid for - until she found out the ladies invited the men on the cruise and that's not ok with her. So Vicki tells Tamra that she's not going. Tamra tries to convince her to go - out of guilt for being one of the people who brought her husband along. Tamra keeps saying that it's not going to be all couples. Vicki says she doesn't want to be there. Vicki tells Tamra to respect her and not talk about her. Vicki says she doesn't want Tamra to go down there and tell everyone that she's in her room crying. Tamra says she won't. Then she goes into the limo and says she has drama and that Vicki isn't coming and then proceeds to talk about her all the way to the boat. Stupid. Tamra says that Vicki doesn't want to feel like odd man out and then everyone looks at Lynne and she's just smiling cluelessly and then fake cries. Simon tells Lynne that the reason she's ok with this is because she's a secure, unselfish woman. Shut up, Simon. Lynne doesn't even know where she is. Besides, they probably couldn't afford to pay for Frank to come anyway.
They all arrive at the boat and Alexis is seriously wearing the shortest dress ever. I'm sure God would be so proud. Jim is irritated about her short dress. Gretchen pulls out the padding in her bra to show everyone that she's wearing fake boobs tonight to fit in with the rest of the women. Apparently, Gretchen's display is offensive to Alexis. HAHAHA!! I just have to laugh at the hypocrisy of this woman. Let me get this straight: Gretchen is offensive for pulling out the padding in her bra in front of her 6 friends, but Alexis is not offensive proudly displaying her huge ass FAKE BOOBS and wearing a "dress" that looks more like a shirt that barely covers her ass in front of the whole world. Ok. What an idiot.
All the couples are kissing and being all lovey dovey so Lynne starts feeling left out. She's kind of loopy so she makes up this imaginary husband. Then she interviews that she understands Vicki's point. She says that the essence of the trip was supposed to be this great get-away for the girls but it didn't turn out that way. Simon walks out to Tamra and asks her how she doing about the whole Vicki thing and Tamra says that she feels really bad. Simon, being the douche-bag he is, says that all the guys who came are nice and "this is how she shows her appreciation?" Um, appreciation for what? Ruining the girls trip that SHE planned and probably paid for??? Tamra tells Simon not to get defensive and mad. She says that she feels bad for Vicki. Simon changes the subject and tells Tamra to look at a hotel to distract her. Jeez. She's not 4.
Until next time...
GRETCHEN
She's packing for Florida and Slade asks if he can fit in her suitcase. Gretchen tells him that she "kind of" wishes he was going. Then she tells him that Simon is going because he follows Tamra wherever she goes. Slade says that Simon is going because he is the 6th housewife. Gretchen tells Slade that had that reputation for awhile and Slade says he passed the baton. They hug and say they wish Slade could come and she pouts that she's going to have to deal with the "crazies" by herself. Then she says that Vicki told them to bring long pants and a long-sleeved shirt and shoes she can get wet so Gretchen thinks they are doing something in the Everglades. Then she says something about having issues if there are animals she doesn't like and Slade makes a comment about the women all being animals. dumb.
LYNNE
Lynne is lying in bed with some pillows under her head. It's been a week and her face is still a little swollen and she's really great ... and so much more clueless than usual. She's whining that she feels bloated and Frank says that her face is bloated so she puts ice on it. Then she asks Frank if the anti-biotics make her loopy and he says no. I guess she's just loopy.
VICKI
Vicki arrives at the W in Fort Lauderdale. Her suite is amazing. I wanna go. I promise not to bring a boy. The rest of the girls - and Simon - arrive sans Alexis (she's coming tomorrow with her hubby). They check in and Tamra interviews that she hopes Vicki won't be pissed that she and Alexis brought their husbands. Um...of course she's going to be pissed. Vicki INVITED the girls for a "girls weekend" and planned the whole trip. It's totally rude to bring your husband...he wasn't invited. If you're not allowed to travel without your husband, then don't go!
Vicki is waiting for all of them in the bar and welcomes them. Vicki is impressed that Lynne is there only 10 days after her surgery. I agree with Vicki -- she looks great and HEAVILY medicated. :) As if things couldn't get any worse with Simon there...SLADE shows up to surprise Gretchen. Are you f-ing kidding me?? It's a girls weekend. Why does no one else recognize this but me and Vicki. I mean, my friends and I have girls nights all the time and no one's spouse or boyfriend shows up. WTF? These girls are so co-dependent and with the douchiest guys. Pathetic. The guys, too. What guy wants to hang out with his wife/girlfriend and all of her friends? Dumb. Vicki is 100% right - this is a trip that SHE planned and none of the husbands even asked her if they could join.
ALEXIS
This woman is ridiculous. She's going to Florida for a WEEKEND and she has a luggage dedicated to hair/make up, a luggage dedicated to shoes and then one (or more) for all of her outfits. Is she serious? I'm so glad I'm not high maintenance. It's just way too much work and so obnoxious.
THE GIRLS
Vicki planned a tour through the Everglades. The girls take off in a helicopter and Vicki yells the whole time...so annoying. Stop screaming. They arrive in the Everglades and their tour guide, Bubba, greets them. Gretchen is dressed like Camouflage Barbie. She's got on camouflage capris, a black sports bra, and a camouflage bandana. All the women look like their at a photo shoot, not a safari adventure in the Everglades. They freak out the whole time at the boars and alligators and crocs. I feel like these women have never been to a zoo.
Vicki, Tamra and Gretchen go on an air boat for the final leg of the tour. Lynne stayed on land and took a magic pill and a nap at the visitor's center. That air boat looks like such a blast.
The girls come back to the visitor's center to pick up a heavily sedated Lynne.
The girls all head to dinner and Alexis joins them. Alexis is pretty, but must she always have that Jennifer Garner pout?? Relax the upper lip, Alexis. Oh wait, maybe she can't. It might be part of her botox regimen. Ugh. The conversation quickly turns to how sweet Slade is for surprising Gretchen. Alexis says that she heard Slade put flower petals all over the room and surprised Gretchen. Vicki rolls her eyes and says that Slade is all about the "Wow". She has a point and, while I agree with Vicki, I don't think she should have pursued this conversation. It's really none of her business what Gretchen does and who she does it with. Gretchen says that she thinks she and Slade will get married. Vicki interviews that she has seen this before with Jo. Vicki gives Gretchen shit for "taking" Jo's man. Gretchen gets defensive and then admits that Jo is pissed off at her and Slade.
Tamra says that they are all going to the club next door after dinner and meet up with the guys. Vicki says she's not going. She has no desire to be with all the girls and their spouses. Vicki says she feels uncomfortable being there. They all give her crap for not going and call her a party pooper which is SO LAME. Those girls ruined the party, so they should just leave Vicki to do her thing. Lynne isn't going either because she needs to recover and rest. Gretchen, Tamra and Alexis order shots and their boys all show up. Simon asks where Vicki is for no other reason than to start a Vicki bashing session. Gretchen tells him that Vicki went to her room to cry. At first, Tamra looks uncomfortable with the conversation but then she totally joins in throwing her bff under the bus. Alexis is the only one who actually defends Vicki and tries to tell the other girls to back off. Jim pipes up and asks why Vicki is upset and Tamra says that it's a girls weekend. Jim asks what the problem is since the guys "let" the girls have their day/dinner. Then Tamra has to say that Vicki wanted to control the situation and Jim says that it's a control thing. Shut up, Jim. That guy is such a troll. Vicki is irritated that her girlfriends are stepford wives and can't go anywhere without their uber controlling husbands.
Simon says that Vicki has always been jealous of his marriage with Tamra. Tamra tells him not to say that, but Simon says it's true. Then Simon interviews that he doesn't like Tamra's relationship with Vicki because he's seen changes in Tamra in the last couple of years that he doesn't like. I think Simon is realizing that Tamra's ignorance was bliss, but now that she's not so ignorant, he doesn't like it. He's such a douche-bag. Tamra realizes her part in the Vicki bashing session and immediately regrets contributing and not standing up for Vicki. Well, she should.
TAMRA & VICKI
Tamra and Vicki are having a manicure together because Tamra is feeling guilty about the night before. Vicki tells Tamra that she called some friends last night because she needed some support. She also acknowledges that she may have been hyper sensitive. She tells Tamra that she needs friends who are supportive and have her back and she doesn't always feel like Tamra is that friend. AGREED. See footage of last night. Vicki is upset and says that she's already cried twice this trip and she doesn't want to be sad. Vicki says that she doesn't feel like people understand her and that makes her sad and that when Simon looks at her he's filled with hate for her. Tamra disagrees and says that Simon and Vicki are a lot alike. I agree...they are both strong, independent and controlling people. Tamra doesn't want to be put in the middle. Vicki tells Tamra that she needs to know she can count on her and Tamra says that she will always have Vicki's back...except last night.
THE GUYS
Slade, Jim and Simon are golfing and having lunch. These guys are such chicks. Jim tells Slade that he heard that Vicki doesn't like Slade because she thinks he doesn't really like Gretchen and that he's just taking advantage of a situation. The situation being that Gretchen just got several million from Jeff's estate AND she's making $$ on the show and Slade is a loser who has no $$. Slade denies that this is true and he says that he and Vicki will have a serious problem if that's really what she thinks. Slade says that the real issue is that Vicki likes attention and likes to be in the lead and in front. Simon pipes in and says that Vicki doesn't like him either. Jim says that if all that is true then Vicki is going to be pissed tonight. I guess Vicki rented a boat for all the girls to do a sunset cruise and now the guys have invited themselves on the boat. How incredibly rude. Seriously...this whole show is so infuriating. Vicki plans this whole weekend for the girls and these controlling assholes just invite themselves to join in. RUDE.
CRUISE
Tamra comes to Vicki's door to ask her if she's ready to go on the cruise. Vicki interviews that she was really excited about the cruise - that she planned and probably paid for - until she found out the ladies invited the men on the cruise and that's not ok with her. So Vicki tells Tamra that she's not going. Tamra tries to convince her to go - out of guilt for being one of the people who brought her husband along. Tamra keeps saying that it's not going to be all couples. Vicki says she doesn't want to be there. Vicki tells Tamra to respect her and not talk about her. Vicki says she doesn't want Tamra to go down there and tell everyone that she's in her room crying. Tamra says she won't. Then she goes into the limo and says she has drama and that Vicki isn't coming and then proceeds to talk about her all the way to the boat. Stupid. Tamra says that Vicki doesn't want to feel like odd man out and then everyone looks at Lynne and she's just smiling cluelessly and then fake cries. Simon tells Lynne that the reason she's ok with this is because she's a secure, unselfish woman. Shut up, Simon. Lynne doesn't even know where she is. Besides, they probably couldn't afford to pay for Frank to come anyway.
They all arrive at the boat and Alexis is seriously wearing the shortest dress ever. I'm sure God would be so proud. Jim is irritated about her short dress. Gretchen pulls out the padding in her bra to show everyone that she's wearing fake boobs tonight to fit in with the rest of the women. Apparently, Gretchen's display is offensive to Alexis. HAHAHA!! I just have to laugh at the hypocrisy of this woman. Let me get this straight: Gretchen is offensive for pulling out the padding in her bra in front of her 6 friends, but Alexis is not offensive proudly displaying her huge ass FAKE BOOBS and wearing a "dress" that looks more like a shirt that barely covers her ass in front of the whole world. Ok. What an idiot.
All the couples are kissing and being all lovey dovey so Lynne starts feeling left out. She's kind of loopy so she makes up this imaginary husband. Then she interviews that she understands Vicki's point. She says that the essence of the trip was supposed to be this great get-away for the girls but it didn't turn out that way. Simon walks out to Tamra and asks her how she doing about the whole Vicki thing and Tamra says that she feels really bad. Simon, being the douche-bag he is, says that all the guys who came are nice and "this is how she shows her appreciation?" Um, appreciation for what? Ruining the girls trip that SHE planned and probably paid for??? Tamra tells Simon not to get defensive and mad. She says that she feels bad for Vicki. Simon changes the subject and tells Tamra to look at a hotel to distract her. Jeez. She's not 4.
Until next time...
Jersey Shore, Episode 4
I didn't get to recap this because they removed it from the MTV website so I couldn't. If they put it back up, I'll recap it. But here's a summary of what happened:
This is the episode where Snooki gets hit in the face. That happened at the end of the episode. The rest of the episode The Situation and Pauly had to juggle various groups of chicks.
This is the episode where Snooki gets hit in the face. That happened at the end of the episode. The rest of the episode The Situation and Pauly had to juggle various groups of chicks.
So You Think You Can Dance, Finale Part 2 - WINNER REVEALED
The night starts off with a Kelly Abby routine to "Scared of Me" by Fedde le Grand featuring Mitch Crown. It looks like the top 19 are dancing and Legacy starts it off with a little solo. 14 are dancing and then the top 6 come out. Great performance.
[DISCLAIMER: I know who wins the whole thing and I'm not happy about it. I will still re-cap this finale reflecting my honest reaction to what unfolds.]
Next up is a recap of the night before and all the dancers. It is so clear from watching the dances again, that Jakob and Kathryn are clearly the best dancers.
Now the jidges are picking their favorite dances from this season:
Lil C asks Cat to "bring the buckness in" for the Tabitha & Napoleon hip hop dance from Kevin, Legacy and Russell to "Beggin'" by Madcon. I cannot for the life of me remember Kevin. He's good. They all are. That was awesome.
Adam requests the Sonya Tayeh routine from Jakob (of course he picks a routine with Jakob) and Ellenore to "Tore My Heart" by OONA & Dave Tweedie. This definitely wasn't my favorite. It was good and Ellenore and Jakob did an excellent job.
Nigel chooses Derek Grant tap routine from Bianca, Peter and Phillip to "Take The 'A' Train" by Ella Fitzgerald. Ok, it was great. I have a lot of respect for tap dancers because I would never be able to do it. That being said, the flip of Bianca at the end was a little awkward.
Mary picks Ashleigh and Ryan to do a routine that they choreographed themselves. Oh dear, I think Ryan is wearing one of Ashleigh's tanks again. Why does he wear that style of tank top?? Why not just a wife-beater? It looks like a girls tank. Weird. Anyhow, they danced wonderfully.
Leona Lewis now performs a song from AVATAR. Yawn.
The Groovaloos now perform to "Groovaloo Street" by Rapier & Burns. That was seriously very cool.
Nigel picks a Desmond and Dwight contemporary routine performed by Kathryn and Jakob - two of the best dancers!! - dancing to "At this Moment" by Michael Buble. I love this dance. They are so lovely together.
Tyce Diorio picks a Nikul Bollywood routine performed by Nathan & Mollee to "Azeem O Shaan Shahenshah" by Jodhaa Akbar. Meh.
Now the finalists are coming out. There's a bit of a sound issue. As the finalists are coming out, Russell is hobbling and apparently twisted his knee. Not sure when that happened. Weird. [I just went back and re-watched the dance that Russell, Kevin, Legacy did and I can't see where Russell hurt himself. I saw him jump off stage but he still danced and walked normally off the stage. Hmmm.]
6th Place goes to RYAN.
Adam Lambert performs.
Next we see a recap of the auditions. You know, the finale show could really just be an hour instead of filling two hours with boring recaps and random performances. Or even 1/2 hour.
5th Place goes to ASHLEIGH.
Adam asks to see the Travis Wall routine from Ellenore and Legacy to "Machine Gun" by Portishead. It's that weird routine that I didn't love. The music actually sounds like a machine gun. Hmmm. meh.
Debbie Allen picks the African Jazz routine from Noelle and Russell - but since Russell is hurt, they will show us a tape of the original performance. It was good.
4th Place goes to ELLENORE.
So far, America is pretty right on. The three who have left so far are the three I would have cut.
Lil C picks "an orgy of majestic contemporary artistry" performed by Channing, Arianna, Jakob and Nathan to "Crying" by K.D. Lang. Say what you will about Nathan's immaturity and general over-confidence, but he can really dance. That was a beautiful routine by all 4 of them.
Mary picks the hip hop routine from Kathryn and Russell and we'll be watching it on video because Russell is injured. Jeez. It was good because it was the exact same thing we watched the night before.
Now Mary J. Blige performs.
Nigel would like to see the Wade Robson group routine with the top 20 dancing to "Comanche" by The Rebels. It's a great routine.
3rd Place goes to KATHRYN. So frustrating. She's so talented and amazing. Oh...I totally forgot that Kathryn was the girl whose voice gets all high when she starts to cry. So sad.
Tabitha and Napoleon choreographed the next performance by Jennifer Lopez. She's got on some super sexy Christian Louboutin's. HAHA. The song is about Louboutin's!! I love it!! I would say she's brave to dance in 4 in. heels, but she's not really dancing. Cool, the girls from the Top 20 danced with her and her faves from other seasons.
We get a little recap of both Russell and Jakob and it's so clear how amazing Jakob is!!
America's Favorite Dancer is ... RUSSELL! WTF? He starts yelling and cheering and obviously does not have a knee injury anymore. He's seriously on his knees. Ridiculous. Debbie Allen is crying and screaming. His mother is on her knees in the audience. It's actually very touching. It's kind of an awesome moment. His parents are so proud. Of course, he says it's all about God.
I will leave you with this: Jakob got robbed.
[DISCLAIMER: I know who wins the whole thing and I'm not happy about it. I will still re-cap this finale reflecting my honest reaction to what unfolds.]
Next up is a recap of the night before and all the dancers. It is so clear from watching the dances again, that Jakob and Kathryn are clearly the best dancers.
Now the jidges are picking their favorite dances from this season:
Lil C asks Cat to "bring the buckness in" for the Tabitha & Napoleon hip hop dance from Kevin, Legacy and Russell to "Beggin'" by Madcon. I cannot for the life of me remember Kevin. He's good. They all are. That was awesome.
Adam requests the Sonya Tayeh routine from Jakob (of course he picks a routine with Jakob) and Ellenore to "Tore My Heart" by OONA & Dave Tweedie. This definitely wasn't my favorite. It was good and Ellenore and Jakob did an excellent job.
Nigel chooses Derek Grant tap routine from Bianca, Peter and Phillip to "Take The 'A' Train" by Ella Fitzgerald. Ok, it was great. I have a lot of respect for tap dancers because I would never be able to do it. That being said, the flip of Bianca at the end was a little awkward.
Mary picks Ashleigh and Ryan to do a routine that they choreographed themselves. Oh dear, I think Ryan is wearing one of Ashleigh's tanks again. Why does he wear that style of tank top?? Why not just a wife-beater? It looks like a girls tank. Weird. Anyhow, they danced wonderfully.
Leona Lewis now performs a song from AVATAR. Yawn.
The Groovaloos now perform to "Groovaloo Street" by Rapier & Burns. That was seriously very cool.
Nigel picks a Desmond and Dwight contemporary routine performed by Kathryn and Jakob - two of the best dancers!! - dancing to "At this Moment" by Michael Buble. I love this dance. They are so lovely together.
Tyce Diorio picks a Nikul Bollywood routine performed by Nathan & Mollee to "Azeem O Shaan Shahenshah" by Jodhaa Akbar. Meh.
Now the finalists are coming out. There's a bit of a sound issue. As the finalists are coming out, Russell is hobbling and apparently twisted his knee. Not sure when that happened. Weird. [I just went back and re-watched the dance that Russell, Kevin, Legacy did and I can't see where Russell hurt himself. I saw him jump off stage but he still danced and walked normally off the stage. Hmmm.]
6th Place goes to RYAN.
Adam Lambert performs.
Next we see a recap of the auditions. You know, the finale show could really just be an hour instead of filling two hours with boring recaps and random performances. Or even 1/2 hour.
5th Place goes to ASHLEIGH.
Adam asks to see the Travis Wall routine from Ellenore and Legacy to "Machine Gun" by Portishead. It's that weird routine that I didn't love. The music actually sounds like a machine gun. Hmmm. meh.
Debbie Allen picks the African Jazz routine from Noelle and Russell - but since Russell is hurt, they will show us a tape of the original performance. It was good.
4th Place goes to ELLENORE.
So far, America is pretty right on. The three who have left so far are the three I would have cut.
Lil C picks "an orgy of majestic contemporary artistry" performed by Channing, Arianna, Jakob and Nathan to "Crying" by K.D. Lang. Say what you will about Nathan's immaturity and general over-confidence, but he can really dance. That was a beautiful routine by all 4 of them.
Mary picks the hip hop routine from Kathryn and Russell and we'll be watching it on video because Russell is injured. Jeez. It was good because it was the exact same thing we watched the night before.
Now Mary J. Blige performs.
Nigel would like to see the Wade Robson group routine with the top 20 dancing to "Comanche" by The Rebels. It's a great routine.
3rd Place goes to KATHRYN. So frustrating. She's so talented and amazing. Oh...I totally forgot that Kathryn was the girl whose voice gets all high when she starts to cry. So sad.
Tabitha and Napoleon choreographed the next performance by Jennifer Lopez. She's got on some super sexy Christian Louboutin's. HAHA. The song is about Louboutin's!! I love it!! I would say she's brave to dance in 4 in. heels, but she's not really dancing. Cool, the girls from the Top 20 danced with her and her faves from other seasons.
We get a little recap of both Russell and Jakob and it's so clear how amazing Jakob is!!
America's Favorite Dancer is ... RUSSELL! WTF? He starts yelling and cheering and obviously does not have a knee injury anymore. He's seriously on his knees. Ridiculous. Debbie Allen is crying and screaming. His mother is on her knees in the audience. It's actually very touching. It's kind of an awesome moment. His parents are so proud. Of course, he says it's all about God.
I will leave you with this: Jakob got robbed.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
So You Think You Can Dance, Finale Part 1 - Top 6 perform
I know I'm behind and need to recap Jersey Shore and Real Housewives of the OC from last week, but SYTYCD is more important. I promise I'll catch up as soon as this week is over.
Cat welcomes the Judges and they are all present: Spirit Fingers, Screamer and Creepy all say hello.
They waste no time and go right into the dances:
Kathryn & Ryan
They dance a Jason Gilkison samba. They are dancing to "Magalenha" by Sergio Mendes. I guess the costumers decided to give Ryan a break this week - instead of putting him in a super gay see-through shirt, they just had him go shirtless. It worked. He looked much more masculine. I thought the dance was fantastic. GREAT choreography and they danced it beautifully. It was very cool and I liked the music. They also ended it cool with Kathryn doing the splits in the air and landing on Ryan's back. Great start to the evening.
The judges loved it and were blown away. Adam says that Kathryn has soared to the top and then he gets all hot and bothered by Ryan and his toplessness.
Ellenore & Jakob
They dance a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine. They dance to "I Gotcha" from Fosse. It was awesome. I didn't love the music but the dancing was brilliant. I think what was so impressive was Jakob's performance. Ellenore kept up with him and she did well, but Jakob blew her out of the water. It was a great performance. The judges loved it and both of them. Adam drools about Jakob per usual. He tries to give Ellenore a compliment first to deflect from his obsession with Jakob, but then goes on to praise Jakob and calls him the most selfless dancer. I mean, I agree because I love Jakob, but really, Adam?
Ashleigh & Russell
They dance a Sonya Tayeh lyrical jazz number. They dance to "Angel Standing By" by Jewel. Beautiful song, good dance. I guess the costume department is a little lazy tonight because Russell is shirtless, too. I liked the choreography and they danced it well. There was just something a little ... off. Ashleigh danced everything well, but she's just not a lyrical dancer. There was something jagged about this dance that I thought could've flowed better. I don't know...maybe it's just because I don't like these two dancers very much. Nigel thought Russell was phenomenal. He couldn't take his eyes off of Russell so he has no feedback for Ashleigh. Mary tries to make up for it. She praises Ashleigh and then...starts crying and blubbering about Russell. So Adam comes in and says wonderful things about Ashleigh so she doesn't feel bad.
Ellenore & Ryan
They dance a Gary Stewart jazz piece. They dance to "Kontact Me" by Boys Noize. It's very robotic. Um...well, hmm. I really did not like it at all. I thought the choreography sucked. It was not impressive at all. To their credit, Ellenore and Ryan danced it well and did as best a job as they could with it. It just sucked. It sucks for them because it was just bad choreography. Nigel didn't like it either. He thought it was too rigid and technical. Mary says that she loved it because it was so different. She's lying. It sucked. Adam agrees with Nigel and Mary. He thought they danced it really well, but didn't love the routine.
Ashleigh & Jakob
They dance a Jean Marc foxtrot. Ugh. Why don't they let Jason Gilkison do all the ballroom from now on?? I predict this will be slow and boring. They dance to "Let the Good Times Roll" by Chuck Brown & Eva Cassidy. Well, they were together and danced it beautifully. I tuned out for a little big because it was a little boring. But it was really beautiful. The judges agree. They paid a little more attention to Ashleigh this time. I think someone told Adam that his obsession with Jakob is becoming obvious because he only praised Ashleigh and didn't even say anything to Jakob. Maybe they had a fight during the break.
Ellenore & Russell
They dance a Jason Gilkison Paso Doble. They dance to "Village Attack" from the Blood Diamond soundtrack. Hmmm. I was expected to be blown away by Jason Gilkison and I wasn't...but it was good. It was a good dance and Ellenore and Russell danced it well. Maybe it was the music, but I wasn't blown away. Nigel criticizes Russell a little and then tells him he was good. He goes nuts about Ellenore and thought she was fantastic. Mary and Adam agree.
Kathryn & Jakob
They dance a Dwight Roden and Dwight Richardson contemporary routine. They dance to "At This Moment" by Michael Buble. Chills. That was AWESOME. They were fantastic. I think this season is going to come down to Kathryn and Jakob. They are - by far - the best dancers this season. Amazing dancing and wonderful choreography. Best dance tonight. Standing ovation by all the choreographers and the judges. Adam looks like he's sobbing. Nigel says that they just stopped the show. Mary says that it was one of the best performances she's ever seen. She's starts crying and passes onto Adam. Adam says that the performances was a "game changer". He says "this country needs to be aware of how important dance is in our culture." Drama queen. Adam is speechless by how amazing they were.
Ashleigh & Ryan
The married couple will dance a Travis Wall contemporary routine. They dance to "I'm There, Too" by Michelle Featherstone. I love Travis Wall. It was a really lovely routine. Ashleigh and Ryan danced it beautifully. I don't know if it's because they're married, but they have wonderful chemistry and it was just a beautiful dance. Nigel tells them they did very well. Mary tells them that it was lovely. Adam experienced the tenderness between them and loved it. Ashleigh and Ryan are both crying. Ugh.
Kathryn & Russell
They dance to a Tabitha & Napoleon Hip Hop routine. WOOT!!! They dance to "I Can Transform You" by Chris Brown. I really liked that routine. It was fun and they did some really cool tricks. Awesome. Nigel loved it. Mary loved it. Adam loved it. YEAH!!
My prediction: Kathryn, Jakob and Russell will be the top three.
See you tomorrow night!
Cat welcomes the Judges and they are all present: Spirit Fingers, Screamer and Creepy all say hello.
They waste no time and go right into the dances:
Kathryn & Ryan
They dance a Jason Gilkison samba. They are dancing to "Magalenha" by Sergio Mendes. I guess the costumers decided to give Ryan a break this week - instead of putting him in a super gay see-through shirt, they just had him go shirtless. It worked. He looked much more masculine. I thought the dance was fantastic. GREAT choreography and they danced it beautifully. It was very cool and I liked the music. They also ended it cool with Kathryn doing the splits in the air and landing on Ryan's back. Great start to the evening.
The judges loved it and were blown away. Adam says that Kathryn has soared to the top and then he gets all hot and bothered by Ryan and his toplessness.
Ellenore & Jakob
They dance a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine. They dance to "I Gotcha" from Fosse. It was awesome. I didn't love the music but the dancing was brilliant. I think what was so impressive was Jakob's performance. Ellenore kept up with him and she did well, but Jakob blew her out of the water. It was a great performance. The judges loved it and both of them. Adam drools about Jakob per usual. He tries to give Ellenore a compliment first to deflect from his obsession with Jakob, but then goes on to praise Jakob and calls him the most selfless dancer. I mean, I agree because I love Jakob, but really, Adam?
Ashleigh & Russell
They dance a Sonya Tayeh lyrical jazz number. They dance to "Angel Standing By" by Jewel. Beautiful song, good dance. I guess the costume department is a little lazy tonight because Russell is shirtless, too. I liked the choreography and they danced it well. There was just something a little ... off. Ashleigh danced everything well, but she's just not a lyrical dancer. There was something jagged about this dance that I thought could've flowed better. I don't know...maybe it's just because I don't like these two dancers very much. Nigel thought Russell was phenomenal. He couldn't take his eyes off of Russell so he has no feedback for Ashleigh. Mary tries to make up for it. She praises Ashleigh and then...starts crying and blubbering about Russell. So Adam comes in and says wonderful things about Ashleigh so she doesn't feel bad.
Ellenore & Ryan
They dance a Gary Stewart jazz piece. They dance to "Kontact Me" by Boys Noize. It's very robotic. Um...well, hmm. I really did not like it at all. I thought the choreography sucked. It was not impressive at all. To their credit, Ellenore and Ryan danced it well and did as best a job as they could with it. It just sucked. It sucks for them because it was just bad choreography. Nigel didn't like it either. He thought it was too rigid and technical. Mary says that she loved it because it was so different. She's lying. It sucked. Adam agrees with Nigel and Mary. He thought they danced it really well, but didn't love the routine.
Ashleigh & Jakob
They dance a Jean Marc foxtrot. Ugh. Why don't they let Jason Gilkison do all the ballroom from now on?? I predict this will be slow and boring. They dance to "Let the Good Times Roll" by Chuck Brown & Eva Cassidy. Well, they were together and danced it beautifully. I tuned out for a little big because it was a little boring. But it was really beautiful. The judges agree. They paid a little more attention to Ashleigh this time. I think someone told Adam that his obsession with Jakob is becoming obvious because he only praised Ashleigh and didn't even say anything to Jakob. Maybe they had a fight during the break.
Ellenore & Russell
They dance a Jason Gilkison Paso Doble. They dance to "Village Attack" from the Blood Diamond soundtrack. Hmmm. I was expected to be blown away by Jason Gilkison and I wasn't...but it was good. It was a good dance and Ellenore and Russell danced it well. Maybe it was the music, but I wasn't blown away. Nigel criticizes Russell a little and then tells him he was good. He goes nuts about Ellenore and thought she was fantastic. Mary and Adam agree.
Kathryn & Jakob
They dance a Dwight Roden and Dwight Richardson contemporary routine. They dance to "At This Moment" by Michael Buble. Chills. That was AWESOME. They were fantastic. I think this season is going to come down to Kathryn and Jakob. They are - by far - the best dancers this season. Amazing dancing and wonderful choreography. Best dance tonight. Standing ovation by all the choreographers and the judges. Adam looks like he's sobbing. Nigel says that they just stopped the show. Mary says that it was one of the best performances she's ever seen. She's starts crying and passes onto Adam. Adam says that the performances was a "game changer". He says "this country needs to be aware of how important dance is in our culture." Drama queen. Adam is speechless by how amazing they were.
Ashleigh & Ryan
The married couple will dance a Travis Wall contemporary routine. They dance to "I'm There, Too" by Michelle Featherstone. I love Travis Wall. It was a really lovely routine. Ashleigh and Ryan danced it beautifully. I don't know if it's because they're married, but they have wonderful chemistry and it was just a beautiful dance. Nigel tells them they did very well. Mary tells them that it was lovely. Adam experienced the tenderness between them and loved it. Ashleigh and Ryan are both crying. Ugh.
Kathryn & Russell
They dance to a Tabitha & Napoleon Hip Hop routine. WOOT!!! They dance to "I Can Transform You" by Chris Brown. I really liked that routine. It was fun and they did some really cool tricks. Awesome. Nigel loved it. Mary loved it. Adam loved it. YEAH!!
My prediction: Kathryn, Jakob and Russell will be the top three.
See you tomorrow night!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Real Housewives OC, Season Five - Episode 5
"Friends Facelifts & Florida"
VICKI
Vicki visits her jeweler with Briana. She wants her to help design a gift for Don because it's their 15 year wedding anniversary. Vicki says that when they got married they didn't have a lot of money so he has a lame ring. She's thinking three princess cut diamonds in a ring for Don. Um, I'm thinking that any kind of cut with the word "princess" in it isn't very masculine. I think she has emasculated this man enough. Why throw in the 3 princess cut diamonds? She's also going to add an inscription. It's an $11,500 ring. Jeez. Don is not a "bling" kind of guy.
ALEXIS
Alexis brings the twins with her to get a mani/pedi and she's excited for the girls to get one, too. Um, really? They are 2 years old. Seriously? Is this necessary? I see two very high maintenance teenagers their future. One of the girls has a total meltdown and does not want a mani/pedi. Of course she doesn't...she's TWO. That one is screaming and Alexis is trying to calm her down and the other one is squirming and her manicurist needs someone to hold her down. She does not want to sit still. She ends up not getting her nails done, either. Alexis interviews that she pushed the mani/pedi experience too soon and that the girls were not quite ready for it. Um, ya think? Dumb.
LYNNE
Lynne arrives for her facelift/surgery/etc. Frank is feeling nervous that both Lynne and Raquel are getting stuff done today. Alexa interviews that her dad is always complaining that they spend too much money on stupid stuff...but here are her mom and Raquel getting surgery that they don't really need right now! The doc comes in to see Lynne and goes over what he's doing: a neck lift, a face lift and a brow lift. Wow. Alexa says that her mom and Raquel think that plastic surgery is going to be the answer to all of their problems, but it's not. That Alexa is a really smart girl.
Raquel arrives for her nose job while Lynne is still in surgery. Frank is worried about Raquel. Lynne is finished and in recovery. She's totally out of it. Frank gets the news that Lynne is doing great. Raquel is in with the doc and she's very excited about recovering with her mom so that her dad and Alexa can wait on her. Ugh. Frank admits that decisions like this can be risky in this economy, but he doesn't put a pricetag on his wife's or his daughter's happiness. Whatever, Frank. That is so dumb. Maybe you should be asking yourself why your wife and your daughter can only be happy altering their APPEARANCE. These people just make me sad.
VICKI
Vicki tells Tamra that she's heading to West Palm Beach, Florida soon for her annual convention and she thought it would be fun if Tamra and the girls could come out and meet her. GIRLS TRIP...including Gretchen. Tamra says that it sounds great. Tamra says that she just needs to clear it with Simon because they don't really travel apart. WTF? Why would Simon WANT to go on a girls trip? So dumb. Tamra interviews that she would like to think that Simon trusts her, but sometimes he likes to watch over her. There is so much wrong with that.
GRETCHEN
Gretchen and Slade are at the local community college taking motorcycle classes so that Gretchen can ride that "big ass bike" that Jeff gave her. Gretchen is such an idiot and flirting with everyone and acting like an ass. No one is the self professed "class clown". Dumb.
TAMRA
Tamra is talking to Simon. Marcos, their realtor, offered Tamra a job and Simon wants to make sure it's like last time - just a part time gig. Simon tells her that he doesn't want her away from the kids. She tells Simon that she'll take whatever she can since they need the money. Simon's ego doesn't like that. So he tells her that when he spoke with Marcos about bringing Tamra on, Marcos indicated that Tamra would do the showings but that Marcos would be doing all the work. Tamra says that it's not a partnership if Marcos is doing all the work. True. Simon says that he doesn't want her taking away from raising the kids because that's important to him. Tamra interviews that the older she gets, the more independent she is and she wants to work and contribute to her family. Good for her.
Tamra changes the subject and tells Simon that Ryan has opted to take 5 days in jail instead of the community service. Simon tells Tamra that if Ryan goes to jail for this short time and gets out that he'll just be back doing the same stuff with no real consequences. 5 days is nothing...I see Simon's point, but it's her son and he just needs to support his wife right now. Simon tells Tamra that she is the only one who can change Ryan. He says that she needs to show Ryan that if he acts a certain way, she's not going to be there for him. Tamra says that she's not going to turn her back on her son. Tamra thinks Simon is blaming her for Ryan going to jail and Simon says that he's not saying that. He's just saying that Tamra needs to give him some tough love. I see Simon's point. Ryan is a brat AND he's an adult. Tamra would do him some good by showing him a little tough love.
THE MEN
Don, Simon and Jim are at the Monarch Beach Golf Course. I like Don. He's a good guy. They are all having a good time. They finally stop and have drinks. Jim brings up the La Perla lingerie event and says that they missed Don. Don asks if they spent a lot of money on lingerie and Jim says not a lot, not in this economy. Jim says that what he's learned is that he has a lot of shit he doesn't need. Wow...that's probably the only thing Jim will ever say that I will agree with. Simon says that this recession has knocked everyone back to the 1950's where you realize your kids don't need the brand new video game or new outfit or new shoes. Jim says: "So we're all going to Florida with the women." Don says "No, we're not ALL going to Florida." Don says that they weren't invited and Jim says that he's inviting Don. Don says that he's ok and he's not going. BECAUSE DON ISN'T A CONTROLLING D-BAG!! His wife can actually do things and go places with her friends and he doesn't need to be there.
Jim says that in 5 years of marriage, he and his wife have never spent a day apart. Simon says that he's the same way. Don says that he's not interested in going on the girls vacation. It sounds like Simon and Jim are trying to convince Don that he should go on every single vacation and spend every single day with Vicki. Don just says "Whatever works for you." Right on, Don. Simon and Jim are so dumb. Is there some competition among husbands about who spends the least number of days apart from their wife? They try to say it in terms of loving their spouse and wanting to spend every day with her. But they are FULL OF SHIT. They are just controlling sons of bitches who want to be there so that they know EVERYTHING their spouse is doing. Suffocating. Don says that he couldn't handle their marriages and they couldn't handle his. He couldn't be that "clutching or controlling or whatever." Exactly, Don. Because you actually respect your wife. Don says that the Florida thing is aggravating because the men weren't invited from the start. Tru dat.
ALEXIS
Alexis meets Gretchen for lunch at Charles Palmier in the Southcoast Shopping Center, aka the mall. It's so strange to me that Gretchen and Alexis are both 32 years old. They are both "pretty" and look good, but I feel like they still look older than 32. Especially Gretchen. She could easily be 38-40. Alexis interviews that she wants to find out more about this Florida trip. Alexis says that she and her husband have the best marriage in the world and she's not about to leave him for the weekend to go to Florida. HA! As if you have a choice. Gretchen says that she trusts Slade and he trusts her so if she wants to go to Florida with the girls, she's going to Florida with the girls. I can totally respect that. Alexis tells Gretchen that she's only been apart from her husband for 1 day in the last 5 years. [Maybe that's what Jim said, too, I didn't think so, but I may have misspoken. Whatever 1 day, 0 days, it's still weird.] Gretchen asks if Alexis struggles with that and she says that she's the same way. She can't be without Jim because she's traditional and from the Midwest. Hmmm. She tells Gretchen that God told her not to let Jim go and that she and Jim are both Christian and on the same page about morals and values and how to raise kids. Gretchen takes a big sip of her martini. She interviews that she was surprised when Alexis said that Jim is "Godly" because that's not how she pictured them. Alexis says that when you allow the "Devil" or "temptation" to come into your life, that's when you have problems. Gretchen interviews "Wow that's surprising to me that you don't let temptation into your relationship, but yet I'm gonna let my wife wear the tightest little outfit with these two huge lures out in front to lure in the temptation." HAHA. Well, said Gretchen. Exactly. Can you say "hypocrites"? Alexis says that she's not going on this girls trip unless her husband is coming. My response to that: "THEN DON'T COME."
TAMRA
She tells Simon that she got a babysitter for Florida. Tamra interviews that the guys are coming on the girls trip but they are going to do their own thing. Simon asks if they will get to do stuff together and Tamra explains that this was initially a girls trip so they will do girl stuff while he and Jim golf. Simon interviews that "they" have a "rule" that they do not travel without each other unless it's a quick overnight trip - which I'm guessing is HIS loophole, not hers. But since she's going 3000 miles and "anything can happen", he's going with her. These insecure men are so annoying. I could never be with such a control freak. Tamra interviews that she would prefer to go by herself. OMG!! Then go by yourself!! This is so weird. Tamra says that Vicki will probably be a little upset to see all the guys there. Simon says that he's not going to deal with Vicki's bullshit. He says that Vicki needs to mind her own business and stop trying to tell Tamra how to be married. He says that he and Tamra have a perfect marriage (Ahem. See Episode 7) and that they could never have Vicki and Don's marriage. Tamra says that they do not have a perfect relationship and Simon says that it works. Hmmm.
ALEXIS
Alexis gets botox. It's hard for her to tell us how many hours she spends on maintenance. When she was 27, she had to get botox once a year. Now that she's 32, she has to go twice a year. She must have some horrible skin. I'm so glad my mom is Mexican. She blessed me with skin that doesn't not need botox and I'm 35! Maybe the botox is what makes her so weird looking. Alexis tells us that Jim loves that she gets botox because he never has to worry about growing old with a frumpy wife. How very Christian of you guys! Too bad she's stuck with a frumpy husband...already.
LYNNE
Lynne sees the doc for her post-op feedback. She gets to look at herself in the mirror. Lynne actually looks great. But, I think it's less the surgery and more that her face is swollen, so she looks a little more normal and not so sunken in. Before her cheeks were so sunken in because her face was so skinny, but now that it's swollen, she actually looks good. Lynne likes how she looks. Raquel and Frank walk in and they tell her she looks fantastic. Raquel has her nose all bandaged. Raquel doesn't look that different with her nose job.
TAMRA
Tamra is showing a house with Marcos. Tamra is ready to work and earn some money. Tamra is great at showing houses. She has so much energy. It's the perfect job for her.
VICKI
Vicki and Don have dinner for date night. Vicki interviews that she and Don had a really bumpy road last year. But she realized that she needs to make Don her priority because if she doesn't, he'll leave her and she doesn't want that to happen. I really like her so much more this season than any of the others. Don tells Vicki about meeting the guys and how they brought up Florida. Don tells her that he told them that the guys weren't invited. Don tells her that Simon and Jim said that they don't travel without their wives. AND, that Simon told Jim that Vicki and Don aren't really "normal". Right. Because it's totally normal to control and own your wife. Vicki says "What's normal? Control your wife, read all her emails, tell her what to do?" Don says that he just got a kick out of the whole thing. Don has the right attitude. Vicki's right...they are controlling, insecure, d-bags. Vicki: "I don't know what normal is in a marriage, but you should be able to trust your spouse to travel...Period." Well said, Vicki. I concur. I really like them this season.
TAMRA
Tamra meets Gretchen for a drink. Tamra asked Gretchen to meet her so they could try to move on. Gretchen says that she hopes Tamra will hear her out and that Tamra really owes her an apology. DIOS MIO. Tamra says she doesn't care what happened in the past and wants to move forward. Gretchen is not ready yet and tells Tamra her accusations really affected her life. Tamra tries to get Gretchen to understand that this guy "Jay" called her and sent compromising pictures of him and Gretchen while she was with Jeff. Gretchen says that there were no compromising pictures and that she was NEVER in a relationship with Jay. Tamra interviews that Jay sent her several compromising pictures, but Gretchen won't fess up. So Tamra says "Ok. Jay lied to me and I don't care anymore. Let's move on." Tamra says she only has one request: to have Gretchen remove her blog from her website. I guess it's a 6 page blog calling Tamra a liar. Gretchen says she has to think about it and Tamra asks her if she's kidding. Gretchen says she didn't say bad stuff about Tamra. Tamra says that there are things in the blog that are untrue, so she hopes Gretchen will remove the blog because it'll be a huge roadblock to them moving forward. Gretchen interviews that if Tamra says they can only be friends if she takes her blog down, then Gretchen doesn't need to be friends with Tamra. Way to be an adult, Gretch.
See you next time.
VICKI
Vicki visits her jeweler with Briana. She wants her to help design a gift for Don because it's their 15 year wedding anniversary. Vicki says that when they got married they didn't have a lot of money so he has a lame ring. She's thinking three princess cut diamonds in a ring for Don. Um, I'm thinking that any kind of cut with the word "princess" in it isn't very masculine. I think she has emasculated this man enough. Why throw in the 3 princess cut diamonds? She's also going to add an inscription. It's an $11,500 ring. Jeez. Don is not a "bling" kind of guy.
ALEXIS
Alexis brings the twins with her to get a mani/pedi and she's excited for the girls to get one, too. Um, really? They are 2 years old. Seriously? Is this necessary? I see two very high maintenance teenagers their future. One of the girls has a total meltdown and does not want a mani/pedi. Of course she doesn't...she's TWO. That one is screaming and Alexis is trying to calm her down and the other one is squirming and her manicurist needs someone to hold her down. She does not want to sit still. She ends up not getting her nails done, either. Alexis interviews that she pushed the mani/pedi experience too soon and that the girls were not quite ready for it. Um, ya think? Dumb.
LYNNE
Lynne arrives for her facelift/surgery/etc. Frank is feeling nervous that both Lynne and Raquel are getting stuff done today. Alexa interviews that her dad is always complaining that they spend too much money on stupid stuff...but here are her mom and Raquel getting surgery that they don't really need right now! The doc comes in to see Lynne and goes over what he's doing: a neck lift, a face lift and a brow lift. Wow. Alexa says that her mom and Raquel think that plastic surgery is going to be the answer to all of their problems, but it's not. That Alexa is a really smart girl.
Raquel arrives for her nose job while Lynne is still in surgery. Frank is worried about Raquel. Lynne is finished and in recovery. She's totally out of it. Frank gets the news that Lynne is doing great. Raquel is in with the doc and she's very excited about recovering with her mom so that her dad and Alexa can wait on her. Ugh. Frank admits that decisions like this can be risky in this economy, but he doesn't put a pricetag on his wife's or his daughter's happiness. Whatever, Frank. That is so dumb. Maybe you should be asking yourself why your wife and your daughter can only be happy altering their APPEARANCE. These people just make me sad.
VICKI
Vicki tells Tamra that she's heading to West Palm Beach, Florida soon for her annual convention and she thought it would be fun if Tamra and the girls could come out and meet her. GIRLS TRIP...including Gretchen. Tamra says that it sounds great. Tamra says that she just needs to clear it with Simon because they don't really travel apart. WTF? Why would Simon WANT to go on a girls trip? So dumb. Tamra interviews that she would like to think that Simon trusts her, but sometimes he likes to watch over her. There is so much wrong with that.
GRETCHEN
Gretchen and Slade are at the local community college taking motorcycle classes so that Gretchen can ride that "big ass bike" that Jeff gave her. Gretchen is such an idiot and flirting with everyone and acting like an ass. No one is the self professed "class clown". Dumb.
TAMRA
Tamra is talking to Simon. Marcos, their realtor, offered Tamra a job and Simon wants to make sure it's like last time - just a part time gig. Simon tells her that he doesn't want her away from the kids. She tells Simon that she'll take whatever she can since they need the money. Simon's ego doesn't like that. So he tells her that when he spoke with Marcos about bringing Tamra on, Marcos indicated that Tamra would do the showings but that Marcos would be doing all the work. Tamra says that it's not a partnership if Marcos is doing all the work. True. Simon says that he doesn't want her taking away from raising the kids because that's important to him. Tamra interviews that the older she gets, the more independent she is and she wants to work and contribute to her family. Good for her.
Tamra changes the subject and tells Simon that Ryan has opted to take 5 days in jail instead of the community service. Simon tells Tamra that if Ryan goes to jail for this short time and gets out that he'll just be back doing the same stuff with no real consequences. 5 days is nothing...I see Simon's point, but it's her son and he just needs to support his wife right now. Simon tells Tamra that she is the only one who can change Ryan. He says that she needs to show Ryan that if he acts a certain way, she's not going to be there for him. Tamra says that she's not going to turn her back on her son. Tamra thinks Simon is blaming her for Ryan going to jail and Simon says that he's not saying that. He's just saying that Tamra needs to give him some tough love. I see Simon's point. Ryan is a brat AND he's an adult. Tamra would do him some good by showing him a little tough love.
THE MEN
Don, Simon and Jim are at the Monarch Beach Golf Course. I like Don. He's a good guy. They are all having a good time. They finally stop and have drinks. Jim brings up the La Perla lingerie event and says that they missed Don. Don asks if they spent a lot of money on lingerie and Jim says not a lot, not in this economy. Jim says that what he's learned is that he has a lot of shit he doesn't need. Wow...that's probably the only thing Jim will ever say that I will agree with. Simon says that this recession has knocked everyone back to the 1950's where you realize your kids don't need the brand new video game or new outfit or new shoes. Jim says: "So we're all going to Florida with the women." Don says "No, we're not ALL going to Florida." Don says that they weren't invited and Jim says that he's inviting Don. Don says that he's ok and he's not going. BECAUSE DON ISN'T A CONTROLLING D-BAG!! His wife can actually do things and go places with her friends and he doesn't need to be there.
Jim says that in 5 years of marriage, he and his wife have never spent a day apart. Simon says that he's the same way. Don says that he's not interested in going on the girls vacation. It sounds like Simon and Jim are trying to convince Don that he should go on every single vacation and spend every single day with Vicki. Don just says "Whatever works for you." Right on, Don. Simon and Jim are so dumb. Is there some competition among husbands about who spends the least number of days apart from their wife? They try to say it in terms of loving their spouse and wanting to spend every day with her. But they are FULL OF SHIT. They are just controlling sons of bitches who want to be there so that they know EVERYTHING their spouse is doing. Suffocating. Don says that he couldn't handle their marriages and they couldn't handle his. He couldn't be that "clutching or controlling or whatever." Exactly, Don. Because you actually respect your wife. Don says that the Florida thing is aggravating because the men weren't invited from the start. Tru dat.
ALEXIS
Alexis meets Gretchen for lunch at Charles Palmier in the Southcoast Shopping Center, aka the mall. It's so strange to me that Gretchen and Alexis are both 32 years old. They are both "pretty" and look good, but I feel like they still look older than 32. Especially Gretchen. She could easily be 38-40. Alexis interviews that she wants to find out more about this Florida trip. Alexis says that she and her husband have the best marriage in the world and she's not about to leave him for the weekend to go to Florida. HA! As if you have a choice. Gretchen says that she trusts Slade and he trusts her so if she wants to go to Florida with the girls, she's going to Florida with the girls. I can totally respect that. Alexis tells Gretchen that she's only been apart from her husband for 1 day in the last 5 years. [Maybe that's what Jim said, too, I didn't think so, but I may have misspoken. Whatever 1 day, 0 days, it's still weird.] Gretchen asks if Alexis struggles with that and she says that she's the same way. She can't be without Jim because she's traditional and from the Midwest. Hmmm. She tells Gretchen that God told her not to let Jim go and that she and Jim are both Christian and on the same page about morals and values and how to raise kids. Gretchen takes a big sip of her martini. She interviews that she was surprised when Alexis said that Jim is "Godly" because that's not how she pictured them. Alexis says that when you allow the "Devil" or "temptation" to come into your life, that's when you have problems. Gretchen interviews "Wow that's surprising to me that you don't let temptation into your relationship, but yet I'm gonna let my wife wear the tightest little outfit with these two huge lures out in front to lure in the temptation." HAHA. Well, said Gretchen. Exactly. Can you say "hypocrites"? Alexis says that she's not going on this girls trip unless her husband is coming. My response to that: "THEN DON'T COME."
TAMRA
She tells Simon that she got a babysitter for Florida. Tamra interviews that the guys are coming on the girls trip but they are going to do their own thing. Simon asks if they will get to do stuff together and Tamra explains that this was initially a girls trip so they will do girl stuff while he and Jim golf. Simon interviews that "they" have a "rule" that they do not travel without each other unless it's a quick overnight trip - which I'm guessing is HIS loophole, not hers. But since she's going 3000 miles and "anything can happen", he's going with her. These insecure men are so annoying. I could never be with such a control freak. Tamra interviews that she would prefer to go by herself. OMG!! Then go by yourself!! This is so weird. Tamra says that Vicki will probably be a little upset to see all the guys there. Simon says that he's not going to deal with Vicki's bullshit. He says that Vicki needs to mind her own business and stop trying to tell Tamra how to be married. He says that he and Tamra have a perfect marriage (Ahem. See Episode 7) and that they could never have Vicki and Don's marriage. Tamra says that they do not have a perfect relationship and Simon says that it works. Hmmm.
ALEXIS
Alexis gets botox. It's hard for her to tell us how many hours she spends on maintenance. When she was 27, she had to get botox once a year. Now that she's 32, she has to go twice a year. She must have some horrible skin. I'm so glad my mom is Mexican. She blessed me with skin that doesn't not need botox and I'm 35! Maybe the botox is what makes her so weird looking. Alexis tells us that Jim loves that she gets botox because he never has to worry about growing old with a frumpy wife. How very Christian of you guys! Too bad she's stuck with a frumpy husband...already.
LYNNE
Lynne sees the doc for her post-op feedback. She gets to look at herself in the mirror. Lynne actually looks great. But, I think it's less the surgery and more that her face is swollen, so she looks a little more normal and not so sunken in. Before her cheeks were so sunken in because her face was so skinny, but now that it's swollen, she actually looks good. Lynne likes how she looks. Raquel and Frank walk in and they tell her she looks fantastic. Raquel has her nose all bandaged. Raquel doesn't look that different with her nose job.
TAMRA
Tamra is showing a house with Marcos. Tamra is ready to work and earn some money. Tamra is great at showing houses. She has so much energy. It's the perfect job for her.
VICKI
Vicki and Don have dinner for date night. Vicki interviews that she and Don had a really bumpy road last year. But she realized that she needs to make Don her priority because if she doesn't, he'll leave her and she doesn't want that to happen. I really like her so much more this season than any of the others. Don tells Vicki about meeting the guys and how they brought up Florida. Don tells her that he told them that the guys weren't invited. Don tells her that Simon and Jim said that they don't travel without their wives. AND, that Simon told Jim that Vicki and Don aren't really "normal". Right. Because it's totally normal to control and own your wife. Vicki says "What's normal? Control your wife, read all her emails, tell her what to do?" Don says that he just got a kick out of the whole thing. Don has the right attitude. Vicki's right...they are controlling, insecure, d-bags. Vicki: "I don't know what normal is in a marriage, but you should be able to trust your spouse to travel...Period." Well said, Vicki. I concur. I really like them this season.
TAMRA
Tamra meets Gretchen for a drink. Tamra asked Gretchen to meet her so they could try to move on. Gretchen says that she hopes Tamra will hear her out and that Tamra really owes her an apology. DIOS MIO. Tamra says she doesn't care what happened in the past and wants to move forward. Gretchen is not ready yet and tells Tamra her accusations really affected her life. Tamra tries to get Gretchen to understand that this guy "Jay" called her and sent compromising pictures of him and Gretchen while she was with Jeff. Gretchen says that there were no compromising pictures and that she was NEVER in a relationship with Jay. Tamra interviews that Jay sent her several compromising pictures, but Gretchen won't fess up. So Tamra says "Ok. Jay lied to me and I don't care anymore. Let's move on." Tamra says she only has one request: to have Gretchen remove her blog from her website. I guess it's a 6 page blog calling Tamra a liar. Gretchen says she has to think about it and Tamra asks her if she's kidding. Gretchen says she didn't say bad stuff about Tamra. Tamra says that there are things in the blog that are untrue, so she hopes Gretchen will remove the blog because it'll be a huge roadblock to them moving forward. Gretchen interviews that if Tamra says they can only be friends if she takes her blog down, then Gretchen doesn't need to be friends with Tamra. Way to be an adult, Gretch.
See you next time.
Jersey Shore, Episode 3
Sorry everyone...I started to recap and by the time I went back to finish, MTV took it off the website. If it comes back up, I'll finish the recap.
"Good Riddance"
We pick up with Ronnie walking home pissed after JWOW told him that Sammi "Sweetheart" gave her number to her cop friend at Karma. Ronnie takes off his shirt, walks into the shore house, slams the door, and just face plants onto his bed. He has his head buried in his pillow, no shirt, faded jeans WITH A WHITE BELT and white sneakers. I don't even know what to say. JWOW feels bad that Ronnie went home by himself and that he's probably really upset so she decides to go home to check on him.
Back at Karma, Sammi is looking for Ronnie. She goes outside and starts talking to Vinnie. She tells him that her cop friend asked her for her number and she gave it to him...no big deal. Vinnie disagrees and tells her that it wasn't cool. Sammi doesn't understand why because the cop is her "friend" AND she's single. You know, cuz Ronnie hasn't said "You're my girl". Oh good Lord. Snooki tells Sammi that Ronnie and JWOW went back to the house together. Of course, Sammi - already pissed that Ronnie was dancing with some other chick - thinks that JWOW and Ronnie left together to go home and hook up. DRAMA.
Sammi struts home in her T-shirt/dress (?) that barely covers her ass - which I'm sure is the point - and her hooker heels. If I didn't know she was at the Jersey Shore, I'd assume she was a hooker...or it was Halloween. Anyhow, she gets home and marches right upstairs. JWOW is dressed and on her bed and Ronnie is in his bed.
Ok, this is where I stopped...but let me tell you what happened:
Sammi and Ronnie have a dumb argument and end up crying and hook up again. Everything is good. Angelina decides that she doesn't want to work and gets fired and moves out. She wanted the roommates to be sad that she was leaving and convince her to stay ... but they didn't. See ya!!
"Good Riddance"
We pick up with Ronnie walking home pissed after JWOW told him that Sammi "Sweetheart" gave her number to her cop friend at Karma. Ronnie takes off his shirt, walks into the shore house, slams the door, and just face plants onto his bed. He has his head buried in his pillow, no shirt, faded jeans WITH A WHITE BELT and white sneakers. I don't even know what to say. JWOW feels bad that Ronnie went home by himself and that he's probably really upset so she decides to go home to check on him.
Back at Karma, Sammi is looking for Ronnie. She goes outside and starts talking to Vinnie. She tells him that her cop friend asked her for her number and she gave it to him...no big deal. Vinnie disagrees and tells her that it wasn't cool. Sammi doesn't understand why because the cop is her "friend" AND she's single. You know, cuz Ronnie hasn't said "You're my girl". Oh good Lord. Snooki tells Sammi that Ronnie and JWOW went back to the house together. Of course, Sammi - already pissed that Ronnie was dancing with some other chick - thinks that JWOW and Ronnie left together to go home and hook up. DRAMA.
Sammi struts home in her T-shirt/dress (?) that barely covers her ass - which I'm sure is the point - and her hooker heels. If I didn't know she was at the Jersey Shore, I'd assume she was a hooker...or it was Halloween. Anyhow, she gets home and marches right upstairs. JWOW is dressed and on her bed and Ronnie is in his bed.
Ok, this is where I stopped...but let me tell you what happened:
Sammi and Ronnie have a dumb argument and end up crying and hook up again. Everything is good. Angelina decides that she doesn't want to work and gets fired and moves out. She wanted the roommates to be sad that she was leaving and convince her to stay ... but they didn't. See ya!!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
So You Think You Can Dance, 8 to 6
The results are in and Cat is wearing the Swedish flag on the back of her dress. I can only assume it's to show her support for Elin Woods.
The show opens with the top seven (minus Ashleigh) dancing to a Sonya Tayeh routine. Cat gives a shout out to Samantha Ronson who, for those out of the loop, is Lindsey Lohan's ex! I guess Samantha did a lot of the remixes we heard last night. Hmmm.
The BOYS!
Cat starts with Russell and he's ... SAFE! Legacy is not so lucky. He's in the bottom 2. Then Ryan and Jakob are next. Ok, what is up with Ryan's hair?? It's like someone told him he needed to look more masculine so he decided not to gel the hair. But, it just looks like he combed it down into bangs that are totally uneven. It looks like a 5 year old cut his hair blindfolded. Dumb. Not hard to figure out that Jakob is SAFE and Ryan is in the bottom 2.
The GIRLS!
Kathryn is first and she is SAFE. Ellenore is next and she is in the bottom 2. Then it's Mollee and Ashleigh and ... Mollee is in the bottom 2 and Ashleigh is SAFE. WTF??? Mollee?? I love her.
The bottom 4 perform their solos, but I'm not sure why since America already voted and the two who are leaving have already been determined. Whatever.
First up: MOLLEE and ELLENORE. Who is going home? MOLLEE???? WHAT THE HELL? How did America put Ellenore in the finale and let Mollee go??? Crap.
Next up: LEGACY and RYAN. Who is going home? LEGACY. Well, I get it, but why Ryan? He is technically great, but Legacy is so much more versatile. Oh well.
See you next week for the finale.
The show opens with the top seven (minus Ashleigh) dancing to a Sonya Tayeh routine. Cat gives a shout out to Samantha Ronson who, for those out of the loop, is Lindsey Lohan's ex! I guess Samantha did a lot of the remixes we heard last night. Hmmm.
The BOYS!
Cat starts with Russell and he's ... SAFE! Legacy is not so lucky. He's in the bottom 2. Then Ryan and Jakob are next. Ok, what is up with Ryan's hair?? It's like someone told him he needed to look more masculine so he decided not to gel the hair. But, it just looks like he combed it down into bangs that are totally uneven. It looks like a 5 year old cut his hair blindfolded. Dumb. Not hard to figure out that Jakob is SAFE and Ryan is in the bottom 2.
The GIRLS!
Kathryn is first and she is SAFE. Ellenore is next and she is in the bottom 2. Then it's Mollee and Ashleigh and ... Mollee is in the bottom 2 and Ashleigh is SAFE. WTF??? Mollee?? I love her.
The bottom 4 perform their solos, but I'm not sure why since America already voted and the two who are leaving have already been determined. Whatever.
First up: MOLLEE and ELLENORE. Who is going home? MOLLEE???? WHAT THE HELL? How did America put Ellenore in the finale and let Mollee go??? Crap.
Next up: LEGACY and RYAN. Who is going home? LEGACY. Well, I get it, but why Ryan? He is technically great, but Legacy is so much more versatile. Oh well.
See you next week for the finale.
So You Think You Can Dance, Top 8 Dance
Last time we lost Nathan and Noelle.
Cat comes out and introduces the "JIDGES"! I was watching this with my friend, Cristina, and we decided that the three judges are the Queen (Adam), the other Queen (Mary) and the Creepy Queen (Nigel). HAHA.
Annoying Ashleigh walks out and tells us that she's not dancing this week because she hurt her shoulder and the doctors won't clear her to dance. BUT, she's still in the running, so vote for her (or not). :)
Let's get started...
Kathryn & Ryan
Kathryn says she's going to go for it and not take anything for granted. Ryan says...I don't know what Ryan says because I'm totally distracted by the bright red super low-cut V-neck T-shirt he's wearing. How is he not gay? I mean, I get that he's married to Ashleigh, but she has to know that her husband is gay, right? I can't even focus on what he is saying. They are dancing to a Doriana Sanchez Disco routine. While they are practicing, it seriously looks like Ryan is wearing one of Ashleigh's shirts. It's a tank top - not a wife beater - a tank top...that GIRLS wear. Don't get me wrong. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have no problem with anyone's sexual orientation. I just want people to OWN who they are.
They dance to "Last Dance" by Donna Summer. I love this song. OMG. AGAIN! The costume people have to know that Ryan is gay. Otherwise, why would they dress him like this?? He's wearing a see-through blue "blouse" with sequins and black pants with shiny designs with glitter on the sides. C'MON PEOPLE!! The dance itself was AWESOME. They did fantastic. It was exciting, it was entertaining, it was together and it was fun!! I loved it. Adam loved it and says that real men can wear sequins. Creepy Queen and I disagree. Sequined shirt aside, the jidges all loved it.
Mollee & Jakob
These guys are so cute and they both want to get to the finale (which apparently this season is next week with SIX dancers. Weird). They are dancing the Viennese Waltz choreographed by Jason Gilkison.
They are dancing to "Ordinary Day" by Michelle Branch. Wow. It's beautiful. All of you know that I do NOT like ballroom, but this is fantastic. The dance, the music, the dancers. Jason Gilkison is amazing. I LOVED it. Chills. Seriously. I have seen this about 3 times now and it doesn't get old. Beautiful. The judges all raved. They loved it. OMG. Adam Shankman is in LOVE with Jakob. It's so obvious and a little embarrassing.
Ellenore & Legacy
They are keeping the faith and really want to make it to the finale. They are dancing to a Travis Wall (!!) Contemporary routine. It's kind of a "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" routine. I love Travis, so I expect good things!
They are dancing to "Machine Gun" by Portishead. Hmmm. It looked like a difficult routine and they danced it really well. I didn't love the routine, but it was cool and they did a great job with it. it's just not a typical Travis Wall routine - I was expecting something more emotional or romantic. But they did a great job. The judges all thought it was AMAZING and loved them. I don't know what it is, but I don't love Ellenore. I think she's quirky and very pretty, but I wouldn't be sad if she left this week.
JAKOB dances his solo routine and it's phenomenal. I don't know how he does some of his tricks. He is so incredibly flexible. He's a beautiful dancer.
[Random] & Russell
Russell is dancing to a Shane Sparks hip-hop routine. He'll be dancing with a "fill-in" since Ashleigh can't perform tonight.
He and his "partner" are dancing to "Too Much Booty 2" by Soundmaster T & Jah-Rista feat. Korveil. Ok, I don't mean to diss his partner, but she sucks and her pants are falling down. She's a big girl and she's doing alright, but she keeps pulling her pants up and doesn't have as much energy as Russell. Which is good for Russell because she's making him look BUCK! It was an awesome routine. Tonight's routines are really great. I loved it. The jidges all agree and praise Russell.
MOLLEE dances her solo and it's great as usual. It wasn't her best solo, but it was good.
Kathryn & Ryan
Ryan is wearing that damn red V-neck again. Why?? They are dancing to a Jason Gilkison Cha Cha routine. I like Jason Gilkison. He does more modern and fun ballroom dancing routines. I'm excited to see it!!
They are dancing to "Put Your Hands On Me" by Joss Stone. Wow. That was amazing. I could watch that dance again and again. I LOVE what the choreographer did with the Cha Cha. It was fantastic. Kathryn ended the routine upside down. It was so cool. I think Kathryn is this season's Jeanine. She's kind of understated, but I wouldn't be surprised if she wins the whole thing. Adam loved it. Mary went a little crazy during her commentary. She starts: "Of course y'all know that I love ballroom dancing. I've spent most of my life ... WOO!" and then gives them first class tickets on the hot tamale train. She had a little psychotic break right there. Crazy Mary. Nigel thought it was fantastic.
LEGACY does his solo and it's amazing. He is so talented. His tricks are fantastic.
ELLENORE does her solo and it's fine. It doesn't look particularly challenging. Meh.
RUSSELL does his solo and embarrasses himself. He's in a freakin' Santa suit. WTF?! AND, he loses a shoe in the process. He's got talent so that may compensate for his lack of fashion sense.
Mollee & Jakob
They are dancing to a Joey Dowling Broadway routine for their second dance. They dance to a Samantha Ronson remix of "Easy Street" from Annie. I think Mollee should be on broadway. She totally has the look and I think she'd be an awesome broadway dancer. I wonder if she can sing. This routine is so fantastic. They are totally together and just execute this dance flawlessly. I loved it. Amazing. Adam tells Jakob that he's the best dancer he's ever seen about 5 times. I'm not kidding, he is seriously in LOVE with Jakob. Adam loved it, Mary love it, and Nigel loved it.
KATHRYN does her solo and it's lovely.
Ellenore & Legacy
They are dancing to a Tabitha & Napoleon (!!!) hip-hop routine this week. YAY!! They dance to "People Are Strange (remix)" by the Doors. Hmmm. I didn't love it. It was different than the usual routines they do. Legacy & Ellenore had masks on the backs of their heads so you couldn't tell which way they were facing. It was weird. Typically I really love their routines, but this one didn't do it for me. The judges agree although they are way harsher than they needed to be. I thought Legacy and Ellenore executed the choreography very well. And, while I didn't love the routine, I still thought it was good.
RYAN does his solo...meh. It was boring. Then he is with Cat and she tells him to tell America what number to call and he totally starts crying and tells everyone to vote for Ashleigh because she's worked so hard to be there. OMG!! Seriously??
[Different Random] & Russell
They are dancing to a Nakul Dev Mahajan Bollywood routine. WOOT! They dance to "Spirit of Rageela" from the Rageela Original Soundtrack. Ok, I can't even concentrate on the dancing. I love Russell...But when he smiles that big cheesy grin while he's dancing, he looks like Tracy Morgan doing a parody of some Bollywood dance on Saturday Night Live. NO JOKE! I cannot stop laughing. He just keeps smiling with that tooth-y, cheesy grin of his. OMG! It's so Tracy Morgan. It's hard to watch this with a straight face. Parody aside, he danced it very well and did an awesome job. I love the Bollywood routines. The judges all praise him.
I predict at least Ellenore and Legacy in the bottom...
Cat comes out and introduces the "JIDGES"! I was watching this with my friend, Cristina, and we decided that the three judges are the Queen (Adam), the other Queen (Mary) and the Creepy Queen (Nigel). HAHA.
Annoying Ashleigh walks out and tells us that she's not dancing this week because she hurt her shoulder and the doctors won't clear her to dance. BUT, she's still in the running, so vote for her (or not). :)
Let's get started...
Kathryn & Ryan
Kathryn says she's going to go for it and not take anything for granted. Ryan says...I don't know what Ryan says because I'm totally distracted by the bright red super low-cut V-neck T-shirt he's wearing. How is he not gay? I mean, I get that he's married to Ashleigh, but she has to know that her husband is gay, right? I can't even focus on what he is saying. They are dancing to a Doriana Sanchez Disco routine. While they are practicing, it seriously looks like Ryan is wearing one of Ashleigh's shirts. It's a tank top - not a wife beater - a tank top...that GIRLS wear. Don't get me wrong. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have no problem with anyone's sexual orientation. I just want people to OWN who they are.
They dance to "Last Dance" by Donna Summer. I love this song. OMG. AGAIN! The costume people have to know that Ryan is gay. Otherwise, why would they dress him like this?? He's wearing a see-through blue "blouse" with sequins and black pants with shiny designs with glitter on the sides. C'MON PEOPLE!! The dance itself was AWESOME. They did fantastic. It was exciting, it was entertaining, it was together and it was fun!! I loved it. Adam loved it and says that real men can wear sequins. Creepy Queen and I disagree. Sequined shirt aside, the jidges all loved it.
Mollee & Jakob
These guys are so cute and they both want to get to the finale (which apparently this season is next week with SIX dancers. Weird). They are dancing the Viennese Waltz choreographed by Jason Gilkison.
They are dancing to "Ordinary Day" by Michelle Branch. Wow. It's beautiful. All of you know that I do NOT like ballroom, but this is fantastic. The dance, the music, the dancers. Jason Gilkison is amazing. I LOVED it. Chills. Seriously. I have seen this about 3 times now and it doesn't get old. Beautiful. The judges all raved. They loved it. OMG. Adam Shankman is in LOVE with Jakob. It's so obvious and a little embarrassing.
Ellenore & Legacy
They are keeping the faith and really want to make it to the finale. They are dancing to a Travis Wall (!!) Contemporary routine. It's kind of a "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" routine. I love Travis, so I expect good things!
They are dancing to "Machine Gun" by Portishead. Hmmm. It looked like a difficult routine and they danced it really well. I didn't love the routine, but it was cool and they did a great job with it. it's just not a typical Travis Wall routine - I was expecting something more emotional or romantic. But they did a great job. The judges all thought it was AMAZING and loved them. I don't know what it is, but I don't love Ellenore. I think she's quirky and very pretty, but I wouldn't be sad if she left this week.
JAKOB dances his solo routine and it's phenomenal. I don't know how he does some of his tricks. He is so incredibly flexible. He's a beautiful dancer.
[Random] & Russell
Russell is dancing to a Shane Sparks hip-hop routine. He'll be dancing with a "fill-in" since Ashleigh can't perform tonight.
He and his "partner" are dancing to "Too Much Booty 2" by Soundmaster T & Jah-Rista feat. Korveil. Ok, I don't mean to diss his partner, but she sucks and her pants are falling down. She's a big girl and she's doing alright, but she keeps pulling her pants up and doesn't have as much energy as Russell. Which is good for Russell because she's making him look BUCK! It was an awesome routine. Tonight's routines are really great. I loved it. The jidges all agree and praise Russell.
MOLLEE dances her solo and it's great as usual. It wasn't her best solo, but it was good.
Kathryn & Ryan
Ryan is wearing that damn red V-neck again. Why?? They are dancing to a Jason Gilkison Cha Cha routine. I like Jason Gilkison. He does more modern and fun ballroom dancing routines. I'm excited to see it!!
They are dancing to "Put Your Hands On Me" by Joss Stone. Wow. That was amazing. I could watch that dance again and again. I LOVE what the choreographer did with the Cha Cha. It was fantastic. Kathryn ended the routine upside down. It was so cool. I think Kathryn is this season's Jeanine. She's kind of understated, but I wouldn't be surprised if she wins the whole thing. Adam loved it. Mary went a little crazy during her commentary. She starts: "Of course y'all know that I love ballroom dancing. I've spent most of my life ... WOO!" and then gives them first class tickets on the hot tamale train. She had a little psychotic break right there. Crazy Mary. Nigel thought it was fantastic.
LEGACY does his solo and it's amazing. He is so talented. His tricks are fantastic.
ELLENORE does her solo and it's fine. It doesn't look particularly challenging. Meh.
RUSSELL does his solo and embarrasses himself. He's in a freakin' Santa suit. WTF?! AND, he loses a shoe in the process. He's got talent so that may compensate for his lack of fashion sense.
Mollee & Jakob
They are dancing to a Joey Dowling Broadway routine for their second dance. They dance to a Samantha Ronson remix of "Easy Street" from Annie. I think Mollee should be on broadway. She totally has the look and I think she'd be an awesome broadway dancer. I wonder if she can sing. This routine is so fantastic. They are totally together and just execute this dance flawlessly. I loved it. Amazing. Adam tells Jakob that he's the best dancer he's ever seen about 5 times. I'm not kidding, he is seriously in LOVE with Jakob. Adam loved it, Mary love it, and Nigel loved it.
KATHRYN does her solo and it's lovely.
Ellenore & Legacy
They are dancing to a Tabitha & Napoleon (!!!) hip-hop routine this week. YAY!! They dance to "People Are Strange (remix)" by the Doors. Hmmm. I didn't love it. It was different than the usual routines they do. Legacy & Ellenore had masks on the backs of their heads so you couldn't tell which way they were facing. It was weird. Typically I really love their routines, but this one didn't do it for me. The judges agree although they are way harsher than they needed to be. I thought Legacy and Ellenore executed the choreography very well. And, while I didn't love the routine, I still thought it was good.
RYAN does his solo...meh. It was boring. Then he is with Cat and she tells him to tell America what number to call and he totally starts crying and tells everyone to vote for Ashleigh because she's worked so hard to be there. OMG!! Seriously??
[Different Random] & Russell
They are dancing to a Nakul Dev Mahajan Bollywood routine. WOOT! They dance to "Spirit of Rageela" from the Rageela Original Soundtrack. Ok, I can't even concentrate on the dancing. I love Russell...But when he smiles that big cheesy grin while he's dancing, he looks like Tracy Morgan doing a parody of some Bollywood dance on Saturday Night Live. NO JOKE! I cannot stop laughing. He just keeps smiling with that tooth-y, cheesy grin of his. OMG! It's so Tracy Morgan. It's hard to watch this with a straight face. Parody aside, he danced it very well and did an awesome job. I love the Bollywood routines. The judges all praise him.
I predict at least Ellenore and Legacy in the bottom...
RW/RR Challenge: The Ruins, Episode 10 SEASON FINALE
It's the finale!!
For the Challengers we have KA and Sarah.
For the Champions we have Kenny, Evan, Bananas, Derrick and Susie.
The boys are all fooling around. Evan and Bananas are playing some weird game where Evan has to hit Bananas with something on the ass. Then Bananas pours hot candle wax on Evan. Derrick is laying in bed and says "Where the f*** am I?" My sentiments exactly, Derrick. I feel your pain. You're in Thailand with a bunch of meatheads.
The next morning, Derrick is sharing some pictures of his son. The baby is so freakin' cute. Susie, KA and Sarah are all talking. KA and Sarah are feeling really confident because they work so well together. Susie tells them that her experience in the finale will consist of hours of abuse from the guys. She says that when they insult her, she's not going to feel motivated to do better. She'll just stop.
Evan is telling the guys that he thinks Susie has what it takes to beat the girls. Bananas says that he's the only one who's been through a challenge with Susie and he knows that's not the case. Derrick and Evan have faith in Susie and think that she'll pull through. Kenny and Bananas are not so confident.
Sarah is talking to the guys and they are still making fun of her. She interviews that she just wants a break from the abuse. I have an idea, don't go into their room!!! If you know they will just abuse you, then don't go in there! Annoying. I hate it when girls are stupid. She says that everytime she walks into their room, they tease her. Kenny tells her that she'd just be wallpaper in the room if they weren't making fun of her.
Now everyone is in the living room and Kenny walks in and tells Sarah that she should just admit that wants him. He tells her that she came to Thailand wanting him and she's going to leave Thailand wanting him. Then Kenny says "You're the girl who hangs out with a bunch of hot chicks. And you're the fat chick who ruins it for everyone else." And he doesn't stop. She has a bunch of tattoos on her arm and he says that it looks like a ten year old doodled on it. Then he finishes saying that she's like riding a moped. He wouldn't want his friends to see him on it, but sure, he'd probably take a ride. That does it. Sarah gets up and leaves. FINALLY. I mean, I think Kenny is the biggest douche-bag. I think he's an ass and someone needs to beat the crap out of him. But, Sarah, you know this. WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO SUBJECT YOURSELF TO THE ABUSE??? Don't put yourself in those positions. Leave him alone. It's hard to feel too sorry for her even though I know Kenny is wrong.
Derrick, Susie and KA are chatting and Derrick admits that he's a little worried about the finale. He's got a point. Yes, he's on a team with 4 strong guys, but they also have Susie. She's good, but she has to be better than both KA and Sarah. It would look horrible for them if they were beat by 2 girls. They'd never live it down. Susie points out to Derrick that Bananas was an idiot for bad-mouthing her all over the house BEFORE the finale. She tells Derrick that he should have been smarter and waited until the finale was over. Susie interviews that if the Champions lost to KA and Sarah, she wouldn't be that disappointed. I see her point.
Sarah and Susie are chatting and Sarah is complaining about Kenny picking on her. Susie tells her that the boys aren't worth crying about. Sarah says that it fuels her and she feels good about winning.
It's the night before the final challenge and Evan and Susie are talking. Evan is trying to motivate Susie to do well for the team. She asks Evan if they can agree that Bananas is an ass and Evan says he agrees along with everyone else. All Evan cares about is the $$$. Susie interviews that the boys are starting to panic.
The guys are on the treadmill and working out like crazy and KA and Sarah are relaxing and feeling good. They say that the guys are terrified of two girls. But, that's not really it. I see Sarah and KA's point, but really, they are scared that Susie is going to blow it. If it was just the guys against Sarah and KA, I don't think they'd be worried at all. But, because they have Susie, they area a little freaked out.
FINAL CHALLENGE
The teams will head out and reach a series of checkpoints. At each checkpoint, the teams must work together to complete the task and get an artifact. There are arrows and directions throughout the course. At the end, they will turn in their artifacts and the first team to make it to the finish line will win $160K to be divided equally among their teammates. That's a little over $30K for each Champion and $80K for each Challenger.
First Task: Each team member must eat everything on the plate in front of them. There are beetles, fried frog legs, a sticky Thai fruit, red chilies, and crickets and grasshoppers. GROSS. KA is throwing up and but she keeps eating. Evan says that he looks over at KA and Sarah and they are eating this disgusting stuff like it's a buffet. Then he looks at the Champions and they are all puking and can barely keep anything down. Kenny: "I feel like I'm eating the asshole of the dirties bum I ever met." GROSS! The Challengers take off and are in the lead!!!
The Champs finally take off. The Challengers find the next task. It says that there are different paths and they can choose whatever order they want to complete the task at each path. They will need to collect 5 artifacts (total) to open the secret door. So they take off and find the second task. It's a jigsaw puzzle. The Champs make it to the different paths and decide to follow KA and Sarah. Susie is beat! She's exhausted, but she keeps going. Sarah says that they are staying calm and getting through it and she notices that the Champs are struggling. They finish the jigsaw puzzle, grab their artifact and tear down their puzzle so the Champs can't see it. They take off to the next task and are content to already have 2 artifacts out of 5. The Champs finish the puzzle and head back to choose a new path.
The Challengers find their third task: MudPit. Each player must crawl through the mud pit to reach the artifact and then crawl back. Looks pretty easy actually. The Champs run into the Challengers and Evan is terrified because the Challengers are a full artifact ahead. They can't handle Susie being slow, so Kenny pulls her over his shoulders and runs with her on his back. They reach their third task: Short Cut. Each player must walk across the bamboo poles. Challengers are doing the same one as their fourth task. If one player falls off, they all have to start over. The Challengers are doing well and so are the Champs on this one (even though they are still an entire artifact behind). The Champs finish and they are running to get their next task and make up some time. Champs get to the MudPit and really charge through. KA is still struggling through the bamboo poles. The guys are screaming for Susie to finish the MudPit but she's exhausted and doing her best. Susie finally makes it just as KA finishes. Both teams run to their final task.
The final task is a block test. It has 10 blocks numbered 1-10 and I think using the numbers on the blocks they need the blocks to end up in 5 equal stacks. I think. I'm not sure. I hope they can figure it out. Evan: "Any time there's a puzzle, you can count on this: Kenny = useless, Derrick = more than useless, Johnny's so tired from this race, he's puking on the sidelines." HAHA. Evan and Susie are trying to figure it out the puzzle. Susie comes through and they figure it out!!! THEY GET IT. They mess up their puzzle and run. They place the fifth artifact and take off through the secret door.
After 30 minutes elapses, the Challengers each get a puzzle piece to carry back to the junction. I guess after 30 minutes, if you can't figure it out, you get to continue. It's kind of like a time penalty. The Challengers aren't that far behind. There's a bamboo wall for them to all cross along the path to the finish line. The boys help Susie over the wall and they all keep running. The Challengers make it over the wall and they run, too.
The CHAMPIONS WIN!! The Challengers run in and feel defeated. They did really well and have made a name for themselves.
I can't wait for the next one!!
For the Challengers we have KA and Sarah.
For the Champions we have Kenny, Evan, Bananas, Derrick and Susie.
The boys are all fooling around. Evan and Bananas are playing some weird game where Evan has to hit Bananas with something on the ass. Then Bananas pours hot candle wax on Evan. Derrick is laying in bed and says "Where the f*** am I?" My sentiments exactly, Derrick. I feel your pain. You're in Thailand with a bunch of meatheads.
The next morning, Derrick is sharing some pictures of his son. The baby is so freakin' cute. Susie, KA and Sarah are all talking. KA and Sarah are feeling really confident because they work so well together. Susie tells them that her experience in the finale will consist of hours of abuse from the guys. She says that when they insult her, she's not going to feel motivated to do better. She'll just stop.
Evan is telling the guys that he thinks Susie has what it takes to beat the girls. Bananas says that he's the only one who's been through a challenge with Susie and he knows that's not the case. Derrick and Evan have faith in Susie and think that she'll pull through. Kenny and Bananas are not so confident.
Sarah is talking to the guys and they are still making fun of her. She interviews that she just wants a break from the abuse. I have an idea, don't go into their room!!! If you know they will just abuse you, then don't go in there! Annoying. I hate it when girls are stupid. She says that everytime she walks into their room, they tease her. Kenny tells her that she'd just be wallpaper in the room if they weren't making fun of her.
Now everyone is in the living room and Kenny walks in and tells Sarah that she should just admit that wants him. He tells her that she came to Thailand wanting him and she's going to leave Thailand wanting him. Then Kenny says "You're the girl who hangs out with a bunch of hot chicks. And you're the fat chick who ruins it for everyone else." And he doesn't stop. She has a bunch of tattoos on her arm and he says that it looks like a ten year old doodled on it. Then he finishes saying that she's like riding a moped. He wouldn't want his friends to see him on it, but sure, he'd probably take a ride. That does it. Sarah gets up and leaves. FINALLY. I mean, I think Kenny is the biggest douche-bag. I think he's an ass and someone needs to beat the crap out of him. But, Sarah, you know this. WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO SUBJECT YOURSELF TO THE ABUSE??? Don't put yourself in those positions. Leave him alone. It's hard to feel too sorry for her even though I know Kenny is wrong.
Derrick, Susie and KA are chatting and Derrick admits that he's a little worried about the finale. He's got a point. Yes, he's on a team with 4 strong guys, but they also have Susie. She's good, but she has to be better than both KA and Sarah. It would look horrible for them if they were beat by 2 girls. They'd never live it down. Susie points out to Derrick that Bananas was an idiot for bad-mouthing her all over the house BEFORE the finale. She tells Derrick that he should have been smarter and waited until the finale was over. Susie interviews that if the Champions lost to KA and Sarah, she wouldn't be that disappointed. I see her point.
Sarah and Susie are chatting and Sarah is complaining about Kenny picking on her. Susie tells her that the boys aren't worth crying about. Sarah says that it fuels her and she feels good about winning.
It's the night before the final challenge and Evan and Susie are talking. Evan is trying to motivate Susie to do well for the team. She asks Evan if they can agree that Bananas is an ass and Evan says he agrees along with everyone else. All Evan cares about is the $$$. Susie interviews that the boys are starting to panic.
The guys are on the treadmill and working out like crazy and KA and Sarah are relaxing and feeling good. They say that the guys are terrified of two girls. But, that's not really it. I see Sarah and KA's point, but really, they are scared that Susie is going to blow it. If it was just the guys against Sarah and KA, I don't think they'd be worried at all. But, because they have Susie, they area a little freaked out.
FINAL CHALLENGE
The teams will head out and reach a series of checkpoints. At each checkpoint, the teams must work together to complete the task and get an artifact. There are arrows and directions throughout the course. At the end, they will turn in their artifacts and the first team to make it to the finish line will win $160K to be divided equally among their teammates. That's a little over $30K for each Champion and $80K for each Challenger.
First Task: Each team member must eat everything on the plate in front of them. There are beetles, fried frog legs, a sticky Thai fruit, red chilies, and crickets and grasshoppers. GROSS. KA is throwing up and but she keeps eating. Evan says that he looks over at KA and Sarah and they are eating this disgusting stuff like it's a buffet. Then he looks at the Champions and they are all puking and can barely keep anything down. Kenny: "I feel like I'm eating the asshole of the dirties bum I ever met." GROSS! The Challengers take off and are in the lead!!!
The Champs finally take off. The Challengers find the next task. It says that there are different paths and they can choose whatever order they want to complete the task at each path. They will need to collect 5 artifacts (total) to open the secret door. So they take off and find the second task. It's a jigsaw puzzle. The Champs make it to the different paths and decide to follow KA and Sarah. Susie is beat! She's exhausted, but she keeps going. Sarah says that they are staying calm and getting through it and she notices that the Champs are struggling. They finish the jigsaw puzzle, grab their artifact and tear down their puzzle so the Champs can't see it. They take off to the next task and are content to already have 2 artifacts out of 5. The Champs finish the puzzle and head back to choose a new path.
The Challengers find their third task: MudPit. Each player must crawl through the mud pit to reach the artifact and then crawl back. Looks pretty easy actually. The Champs run into the Challengers and Evan is terrified because the Challengers are a full artifact ahead. They can't handle Susie being slow, so Kenny pulls her over his shoulders and runs with her on his back. They reach their third task: Short Cut. Each player must walk across the bamboo poles. Challengers are doing the same one as their fourth task. If one player falls off, they all have to start over. The Challengers are doing well and so are the Champs on this one (even though they are still an entire artifact behind). The Champs finish and they are running to get their next task and make up some time. Champs get to the MudPit and really charge through. KA is still struggling through the bamboo poles. The guys are screaming for Susie to finish the MudPit but she's exhausted and doing her best. Susie finally makes it just as KA finishes. Both teams run to their final task.
The final task is a block test. It has 10 blocks numbered 1-10 and I think using the numbers on the blocks they need the blocks to end up in 5 equal stacks. I think. I'm not sure. I hope they can figure it out. Evan: "Any time there's a puzzle, you can count on this: Kenny = useless, Derrick = more than useless, Johnny's so tired from this race, he's puking on the sidelines." HAHA. Evan and Susie are trying to figure it out the puzzle. Susie comes through and they figure it out!!! THEY GET IT. They mess up their puzzle and run. They place the fifth artifact and take off through the secret door.
After 30 minutes elapses, the Challengers each get a puzzle piece to carry back to the junction. I guess after 30 minutes, if you can't figure it out, you get to continue. It's kind of like a time penalty. The Challengers aren't that far behind. There's a bamboo wall for them to all cross along the path to the finish line. The boys help Susie over the wall and they all keep running. The Challengers make it over the wall and they run, too.
The CHAMPIONS WIN!! The Challengers run in and feel defeated. They did really well and have made a name for themselves.
I can't wait for the next one!!
Amazing Race 15 - Episode 12 Season FINALE
Last week the Globes went home. Only three teams remain...who will win THE AMAZING RACE??
The three remaining teams are:
Team USA - I can't believe they made it this far.
Rainbow
The Blondes
The Blondes have been strong this whole time. I predict that they will win the whole thing, but you never know with these things.
The teams are leaving from the Czech Republic. The Blondes are the first to depart at 11:10 a.m. and receive their first clue.
FIRST CLUE: Teams must now fly to their final destination, Las Vegas, Nevada!! Once there, they will travel to the Graceland Wedding Chapel to receive their next clue from Elvis.
The Blondes immediately head to a travel agent and get tickets to Vegas on a 6:40pm flight. Next to depart is Rainbow. They are very excited. They are trying to beat The Blondes and not fight with one another. Good luck with that. Meghan and Cheyne know that all the teams probably will be on the same flight out and they aren't going to arrive in Vegas until the following afternoon. Last to depart is Team USA. They say that they are out to get Rainbow for stabbing them in the back and stealing their cab. The Blondes and Rainbow are trying to figure out who the third team is - I guess they didn't know. They run into Team USA and they all hug. Rainbow apologizes to Team USA for stealing the cab. Brian says that he forgives them but he's not going to forget it.
They all arrive in Vegas on the flight and run out of the airport to find a cab. Team USA is first to get a cab, followed closely by The Blondes and Rainbow. They all arrive around the same time and run into the chapel to get their next clue.
NEXT CLUE: Teams must make their way to Mandalay Bay.
They all race in their taxis to Mandalay Bay. Team USA arrives first and get the next clue.
ROADBLOCK: One team member must do a face-first rappel down the side of the building from the roof to the ground. When they reach the ground, they will receive their next clue.
Miss America is doing the roadblock because Brian is terrified of heights. Heh. She starts to rappel and the Blondes show up and Cheyne decides to go up to the roof. That actually looks really fun. Rainbow arrives as Miss America and Cheyne are making their way down the building. Sam is doing it for Rainbow. Miss America makes it down and receives the next clue.
NEXT CLUE: Teams must make their way to the Mirage.
Cheyne is not opening his eyes. Wuss. I would be looking and loving every minute. Team USA is on their way to the Mirage. Sam is motoring down the building. Sam: "Look at my little legs go." HAHA. Cheyne makes it down and the Blondes head to the Mirage. Sam makes it down and Rainbow gets a cab to the Mirage. They tell their driver that they'll pay him good money to get them to the Mirage quickly.
Team USA makes it to the Mirage and has their cab wait for them. They receive the next clue.
NEXT CLUE: Teams now have a chance to join Cirque de Soleil's "LOVE." There are three bouquets of flowers suspended from the ceiling. One team member will be hooked up to a bungee cord and the other team member will launch that team member high enough in the air to retrieve one of the bouquets of flowers. Once they have the bouquet in their hands, they will hand it over to the "flower child" who will give them their next clue.
Miss America is going to be hooked up to bungee cords and Brian launches her up. The Blondes show up and Meghan is going to get launched. It's harder than it looks. Brian is on try #3. Now the Blondes go. Rainbow arrives and Dan is going to bounce. Miss America keeps getting close. Meghan is having some issues, too. She grabs flowers but not the whole bouquet. Miss America tells Brian that he's taller so he needs to do it. He tells her to try one more time. Meghan got the bouquet and Miss America SCREAMS at Brian to switch with her and "Get her down!" Damn. They will lose and she'll blame it on Brian. The Blondes get the next clue.
NEXT CLUE: "What's the most famous casino in the country of Monaco?" Teams must now figure out that the casino they're looking for is the Monte Carlo - where they'll get their next clue.
Rainbow is bouncing and, of course, Sam and Dan are bickering. Dan is bouncing because he's taller, but Sam is bitching because Dan is heavier. The Blondes ask a cab driver what the most famous casino in Monaco is and he says "the Venetian," but they are skeptical, as they should be. Dan is still bouncing and ... he gets the bouquet and the next clue. Miss America is freaking out. She's not "launching" Brian high enough and she totally breaks down saying she can't take it anymore. DRAMA. They decide to switch again. The Blondes are still trying to figure out where they are going. Rainbow gets into a cab and follows The Blondes. I guess they figure the Blondes know where they are going. Heh.
Team USA switches again and Miss America is frustrated. She's not reaching the bouquet and she's crying and screaming. I don't think she realizes that she needs to "try" and do some work. I think she expects Brian to just launch her ONTO the bouquet. She needs to reach for it. She is FREAKING OUT.
Rainbow calls 411 or something and finds out that they are looking for the Monte Carlo so they head there. The Blondes still can't figure it out and are freaking out because Rainbow isn't following them anymore.
Miss America FINALLY gets the bouquet and Team USA is off. Brian knows the answer right away and they head to the Monte Carlo. Rainbow arrives first and gets the next clue.
NEXT CLUE: Each poker table is covered with casino chips of various denominations. From the sea of over 8,000 chips, the teams must count out exactly $1 MILLION DOLLARS!!! The dealer will verify their amount, and if correct, they will get their next clue and a special chip!
Rainbow arrives and starts counting. They find the red chips ($1000) and try to collect only those. The Blondes stop somewhere and find out that the answer is Monte Carlo. They head out but they are stuck in traffic. Team USA arrives and they start counting. The Blondes arrive and have the same idea as the others - getting the red chips. They are all stacking the red chips. I'm so TENSE right now. All 3 teams are done and waiting for the dealers to verify their amounts. WOW, the Blondes really made up some time.
The BLONDES got it right, got the clue and the $1M chip. The other teams were incorrect and need to recount their chips.
NEXT CLUE: Teams must make their way to the MGM Grand and find the Highrollers' Suite where Mr. Las Vegas - aka Wayne Newton - will tell them the location of the finish line.
The Blondes ask people who Mr. Las Vegas is, but I'm not sure they need to know that. They head to the MGM. Rainbow is...RIGHT! They get their clue and their chip. Team USA is incorrect and has to recount again.
The Blondes arrive and make their way to Suite 88. Wayne Newton tells them that the finish line is at his house...and that's it!
The Blondes go back to the taxi and tell the driver to take them to Wayne Newton's house. Rainbow makes it to Suite 88 and Wayne tells them the same thing. They didn't know his name!! Wayne Newton had to tell them who he was. How embarrassing. Rainbow heads out to Wayne Newton's house.
It's a race between the Blondes and Rainbow! The Blondes arrive and run to Phil with all the teams cheering them on.
The winners of The Amazing Race are CHEYNE AND MEGHAN!!! I'm totally crying. They are so happy. Very exciting!! All the teams are so cute. I missed those Farmers and Besties!!
Rainbow runs up second and they are disappointed, but they made it to the end. Finally, Team USA runs up for the third place spot. Phil asks what her family will think of Brian now that he's run this race with her (apparently, they don't like that he's white). Brian starts to cry and Miss America tells him "OMG. Not now." and then answers that she hopes they fully accept him for who he is.
I still LOVE the Farmers and Besties. See you next time!!
The three remaining teams are:
Team USA - I can't believe they made it this far.
Rainbow
The Blondes
The Blondes have been strong this whole time. I predict that they will win the whole thing, but you never know with these things.
The teams are leaving from the Czech Republic. The Blondes are the first to depart at 11:10 a.m. and receive their first clue.
FIRST CLUE: Teams must now fly to their final destination, Las Vegas, Nevada!! Once there, they will travel to the Graceland Wedding Chapel to receive their next clue from Elvis.
The Blondes immediately head to a travel agent and get tickets to Vegas on a 6:40pm flight. Next to depart is Rainbow. They are very excited. They are trying to beat The Blondes and not fight with one another. Good luck with that. Meghan and Cheyne know that all the teams probably will be on the same flight out and they aren't going to arrive in Vegas until the following afternoon. Last to depart is Team USA. They say that they are out to get Rainbow for stabbing them in the back and stealing their cab. The Blondes and Rainbow are trying to figure out who the third team is - I guess they didn't know. They run into Team USA and they all hug. Rainbow apologizes to Team USA for stealing the cab. Brian says that he forgives them but he's not going to forget it.
They all arrive in Vegas on the flight and run out of the airport to find a cab. Team USA is first to get a cab, followed closely by The Blondes and Rainbow. They all arrive around the same time and run into the chapel to get their next clue.
NEXT CLUE: Teams must make their way to Mandalay Bay.
They all race in their taxis to Mandalay Bay. Team USA arrives first and get the next clue.
ROADBLOCK: One team member must do a face-first rappel down the side of the building from the roof to the ground. When they reach the ground, they will receive their next clue.
Miss America is doing the roadblock because Brian is terrified of heights. Heh. She starts to rappel and the Blondes show up and Cheyne decides to go up to the roof. That actually looks really fun. Rainbow arrives as Miss America and Cheyne are making their way down the building. Sam is doing it for Rainbow. Miss America makes it down and receives the next clue.
NEXT CLUE: Teams must make their way to the Mirage.
Cheyne is not opening his eyes. Wuss. I would be looking and loving every minute. Team USA is on their way to the Mirage. Sam is motoring down the building. Sam: "Look at my little legs go." HAHA. Cheyne makes it down and the Blondes head to the Mirage. Sam makes it down and Rainbow gets a cab to the Mirage. They tell their driver that they'll pay him good money to get them to the Mirage quickly.
Team USA makes it to the Mirage and has their cab wait for them. They receive the next clue.
NEXT CLUE: Teams now have a chance to join Cirque de Soleil's "LOVE." There are three bouquets of flowers suspended from the ceiling. One team member will be hooked up to a bungee cord and the other team member will launch that team member high enough in the air to retrieve one of the bouquets of flowers. Once they have the bouquet in their hands, they will hand it over to the "flower child" who will give them their next clue.
Miss America is going to be hooked up to bungee cords and Brian launches her up. The Blondes show up and Meghan is going to get launched. It's harder than it looks. Brian is on try #3. Now the Blondes go. Rainbow arrives and Dan is going to bounce. Miss America keeps getting close. Meghan is having some issues, too. She grabs flowers but not the whole bouquet. Miss America tells Brian that he's taller so he needs to do it. He tells her to try one more time. Meghan got the bouquet and Miss America SCREAMS at Brian to switch with her and "Get her down!" Damn. They will lose and she'll blame it on Brian. The Blondes get the next clue.
NEXT CLUE: "What's the most famous casino in the country of Monaco?" Teams must now figure out that the casino they're looking for is the Monte Carlo - where they'll get their next clue.
Rainbow is bouncing and, of course, Sam and Dan are bickering. Dan is bouncing because he's taller, but Sam is bitching because Dan is heavier. The Blondes ask a cab driver what the most famous casino in Monaco is and he says "the Venetian," but they are skeptical, as they should be. Dan is still bouncing and ... he gets the bouquet and the next clue. Miss America is freaking out. She's not "launching" Brian high enough and she totally breaks down saying she can't take it anymore. DRAMA. They decide to switch again. The Blondes are still trying to figure out where they are going. Rainbow gets into a cab and follows The Blondes. I guess they figure the Blondes know where they are going. Heh.
Team USA switches again and Miss America is frustrated. She's not reaching the bouquet and she's crying and screaming. I don't think she realizes that she needs to "try" and do some work. I think she expects Brian to just launch her ONTO the bouquet. She needs to reach for it. She is FREAKING OUT.
Rainbow calls 411 or something and finds out that they are looking for the Monte Carlo so they head there. The Blondes still can't figure it out and are freaking out because Rainbow isn't following them anymore.
Miss America FINALLY gets the bouquet and Team USA is off. Brian knows the answer right away and they head to the Monte Carlo. Rainbow arrives first and gets the next clue.
NEXT CLUE: Each poker table is covered with casino chips of various denominations. From the sea of over 8,000 chips, the teams must count out exactly $1 MILLION DOLLARS!!! The dealer will verify their amount, and if correct, they will get their next clue and a special chip!
Rainbow arrives and starts counting. They find the red chips ($1000) and try to collect only those. The Blondes stop somewhere and find out that the answer is Monte Carlo. They head out but they are stuck in traffic. Team USA arrives and they start counting. The Blondes arrive and have the same idea as the others - getting the red chips. They are all stacking the red chips. I'm so TENSE right now. All 3 teams are done and waiting for the dealers to verify their amounts. WOW, the Blondes really made up some time.
The BLONDES got it right, got the clue and the $1M chip. The other teams were incorrect and need to recount their chips.
NEXT CLUE: Teams must make their way to the MGM Grand and find the Highrollers' Suite where Mr. Las Vegas - aka Wayne Newton - will tell them the location of the finish line.
The Blondes ask people who Mr. Las Vegas is, but I'm not sure they need to know that. They head to the MGM. Rainbow is...RIGHT! They get their clue and their chip. Team USA is incorrect and has to recount again.
The Blondes arrive and make their way to Suite 88. Wayne Newton tells them that the finish line is at his house...and that's it!
The Blondes go back to the taxi and tell the driver to take them to Wayne Newton's house. Rainbow makes it to Suite 88 and Wayne tells them the same thing. They didn't know his name!! Wayne Newton had to tell them who he was. How embarrassing. Rainbow heads out to Wayne Newton's house.
It's a race between the Blondes and Rainbow! The Blondes arrive and run to Phil with all the teams cheering them on.
The winners of The Amazing Race are CHEYNE AND MEGHAN!!! I'm totally crying. They are so happy. Very exciting!! All the teams are so cute. I missed those Farmers and Besties!!
Rainbow runs up second and they are disappointed, but they made it to the end. Finally, Team USA runs up for the third place spot. Phil asks what her family will think of Brian now that he's run this race with her (apparently, they don't like that he's white). Brian starts to cry and Miss America tells him "OMG. Not now." and then answers that she hopes they fully accept him for who he is.
I still LOVE the Farmers and Besties. See you next time!!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Jersey Shore, Season Premiere (Part 2), Episode 2
I've decided that I'm going to refer to some of these people by nicknames:
Nicole - Snickers
Jennie - JWOW
Mike - Situation
Angelina - Jolie (only because that's what they call her so it makes it easier)
So Snickers has decided to move out. It's the next morning and she's having second thoughts. She knows she screwed up by getting wasted the first night and now everyone thinks she's a slutty whore. Well... Anyhow, she is telling everyone she's leaving. I think she just wants people to beg her to stay.
The Situation is making breakfast and Sammi is eating and she interviews that The Situation is such a "sweetheart". She came downstairs and he had made her breakfast. Awwww. They are both shy and cute and tell each other that they like each other. The Situation interviews that he's a player, but with Sammi, there "might be enough vibin' that I'll cut that out." I'm skeptical.
It's raining in Jersey! Jolie and Pauly D are working together at the T-Shirt Shop. Pauly D says that he's pumped and thinks this will be an easy gig. Jolie, on the other hand, says that the Jersey Shore is a "playground and not a place to come and work." Yikes. She should have read her contract. Danny is telling them how important it is to "Sell, Sell, Sell!" [Sounds like my ex boss: Bill! Bill! Bill! - notice I said "ex". :)] Jolie is annoyed that she has to work a few days a week. Line of the episode, Jolie: "I feel like this job is beneath me. I'm a bartender. I do great things." This blog writes itself. Really.
Pauly D is making sales and putting himself out there. Jolie is...not. She wasn't selling and wasn't trying so Danny put her on "hanger duty" which meant she had to hang T-Shirts. HA. Jolie tells us "the hours are too much for me." Ugh.
Back at the house...Sammi walks into Snickers' room to talk to her. Snickers says she's still feeling sad. DRAMA. Snickers interviews (very seriously): "I love the Jersey Shore. I love being a guidette. But no one in the house can understand how I'm feeling right now." Sammi takes Snickers into the living room to talk to her. Sammi tells her straight up that she didn't like Snickers the first night because she thought she was the "sloppy girl." Then she says that the next day, she was still not feeling Snickers because she was like "ew" about the night before. But throughout the day, Sammi had a change of heart. She decided not to judge Snickers and just get to know her. Sammi interviews that she thinks Snickers needs to build up her self esteem. No kidding!! I think that all the housemates could use a little more self esteem and less arrogance. AND, a little self respect wouldn't hurt. Sammi tells Snickers not to go home and that she'll be there for Snickers if she needs a friend...people don't call her Sammi Sweetheart for nothing, y'all. Snickers tells us "I'm not a strong person as I look." Um...what? She has feelings, yo. I feel like I need to include quotes so that you can fully grasp the essence of the show.
Ronnie, The Situation and Vinny are all working out at the gym. If you want to look like The Situation, which he tells us is pretty hard, you need protein in your diet. I assume by "protein" he means "protein shakes". The boys are in the car on the way home and they talk about going out tonight. Ronnie is ready to get his drink on. The Situation tells him he could've done that last night. Ronnie says that if he just wanted to get crazy, he would've just "pounded out" Snickers the first night. Then, Vinny says that he thinks Ronnie has a crush on Sammi. The Situation agrees and says that Ronnie may not "like" her but he wants to at least hook up with her. Ronnie eloquently says "I'd pound out Sammi. I really would. She's f-ing cute." Ok, again. It's so weird when Ronnie says things like this because he looks like such a dumb, sweet, meathead. It's hard to hear him sound so crass and douche-y. The Situation wonders if he has some competition for Sammi with Ronnie and then he decides "Nah...I don't."
Breaking news: Snickers has decided...to stay. She's ready to party, meet sexy guidos and be single. WOOT!
Snickers walks down to the T-Shirt shop to find "something that makes me look hot" and to tell Pauly D and Jolie that she's staying. Pauly D says he's glad she's staying because she's his girl. Wait...what? When did that happen? He interviews that he and Snickers would make the cutest little guidos and guidette babies. Seriously, when did this happen? Weird.
It's time for the evening shift and The Situation and Sammi are working. The Situation says that he can sell a T-shirt standing still..."matter of fact, I just sold one just right now." Dumb. He's showing all the girls who come in "the situation" and selling them underwear with "I LOVE THE SITUATION"ironed on them. Danny tells him that he likes the situation right now. Heh. The Situation tells us that everyone loves him: dogs, babies, hot girls, cougars. He just has mass appeal.
JWOW is talking to the boys about her boyfriend. She admits that she and Pauly D have been flirting but that she would be the stupidest girl in the world to mess things up with her boyfriend. I'm sensing that she will become that girl before the episode is over. Meanwhile Jolie tells us that HER boyfriend's biggest concern is whether or not Jolie will cheat on him. Ugh.
The roommates are all getting ready. The gel and hairspray is polluting the house. Snickers says she's not "poofing" her hair and Jolie says "I would never to that to my hair if I were you." Snickers says "why not? I love the poof. It's f-ing guidette." I'm speechless.
They all stop at the shop to tell The Situation and Sammi that they are going out. They go to the club and Pauly D and JWOW are dancing pretty close. Vinny tells us that he will dance with anyone: fat, ugly, 45 years old, whatever. It's fun! Snickers interviews that her ideal man would be "Italian, dark, muscles, juice head, guido. If I found that guy I'd snatch him like that." What is a "juice head"? I thought that was someone who was on steroids. Is she really saying she wants someone who's juiced up on steroids? She's dancing with a bunch of different guys many of which seem like they fit that description. One of them has a girlfriend and Snickers says that it's really hard to find that perfect guy "cuz it's the Jersey shore, you know." Hmmm. Jolie seems to have found a "guido" of her own. She's grinding on a bunch of guys and Vinny is shocked because she has a boyfriend. Hasn't he ever watched MTV? This is what happens. Girls (and guys) say they would NEVER cheat on their significant others and they ALWAYS DO.
Snickers finds a guy and she's feeling like she wants to hook up. She's making out with him at the bar and she stumbles with him back to the house. He tells her she's the Queen of Guidettes not JUST a guidette.
Meanwhile, JWOW and Pauly D are dancing really close and teasing each other. Neither one of them wants to be the first one to kiss the other. Dumb. Camera cuts to Jolie freakin' some guy and Snickers walking home with her dude. Then we see the name of the club: KARMA. Heh.
Sammi and The Situation are having some dinner on the roof. They were exhausted and feeling a little annoyed that the housemates all went out without them. Then Sammi asks if any of the guys in the house like her. The Situation and I are actually thinking the same thing: Is she serious right now?? Why would she ask that? The Situation says Ronnie and then proceeds to bash him and make him look like Ronnie is a d-bag who just wants to get laid. Can you say "cockblock"? The Situation admits that's what he's doing but he doesn't care. Sammi says that Ronnie is a little bit of badass. I think she likes that.
Snickers and her "friend," Robbie, show up. They go up to the roof and Sammi is shocked because Robbie actually looks descent. Ouch.
The rest of the housemates come home. Pauly D and JWOW start hooking up and he shows her that his penis is pierced. Ewww. They keep making out and then she stops because she realizes that she just "technically" cheated on her boyfriend. There's no "technically" about it, JWOW, you cheated. Snickers says that she and her "friend," Robbie, went up to the roof "to watch the sunset, wait, no, the sunrise." Her "friend" is totally passing out and she's annoyed. "C'mon man, wake up! I brought you to the house and I wanna make out and you're totally ignoring me." HAHA. He wakes up and starts throwing up and it's disgusting. I actually gagged a little watching it. Sick. Snickers goes to the kitchen to get a plastic bag and she tells Ronnie and Vinny that her friend threw up. They start talking smack and she says "C'mon guys. He's my friend, ok." Um...you met him 2 hours ago, he's not your friend. He's some super drunk random you brought home to hook up with and now he's throwing up on your roof.
Snickers goes back on the roof and her "friend" offers her a piece of gum. She tells him she would like him to clean his mess right now. Heh. He finished and she walked him home. He thanks her for taking care of him and says goodnight. He leans in for the kiss and Snickers says "I'm not kissing you because you have throw up breath." Wow, now there's a line I've never said or heard before. Snickers says she has bad luck with guys and doesn't understand why. Well, I'd say your first problem is trying to find a guy in a bar and going home with the drunkest one there.
Next morning, everyone is in the kitchen making breakfast and Jolie wants to know what happened the night before. She claims that she doesn't remember anything...especially grinding up against some guys. The Situation tells us that Jolie is lying to everyone and they all know it. Jolie says that everyone thinks she cheated on her boyfriend so she's freaking out. She decides that she needs to talk to her boyfriend. She calls him and he says that he can't talk because he's in a meeting. Jolie says that she wants to talk to him now because she can't talk all day. He says he can't talk and hangs up on her. So, she calls back...about 5 times. He turned off his phone so her calls were going straight to voicemail. She can't understand what's going on because "he knows that I want to talk to him." Well, he certainly doesn't sound like a guy who's really scared of losing you.
Vinny discovers that he has pink eye. Gross. Ronnie says that's what he gets for dancing with a fat chick. Ass. Vinny tells all the housemates that he has pink eye. He goes into work to tell Danny that he can't work because he woke up this morning "with a little bit of pink eye." Is that being a little bit pregnant? Danny says he understands but asks him to find someone to take his shift. So Vinny goes back to the house to see if he has any takers. Sammi agrees to do the first part (3pm - 6pm), but that's it. She had to work last night and she wants to go out. They all pressure Jolie to take the rest of the shift (6-9pm), but she says she'll only do it if she can leave at 7pm because she needs to come and get ready to go out. Vinny says that they don't go out until 11:30pm, why does she need to start getting ready at 7pm. Basically, Jolie doesn't want to do it at all. So Vinny goes back and tells Danny that he could only get Jolie to cover until 7pm, so Danny just said to forget it. He'll make do.
The guys are all getting ready and Ronnie makes some "Ron Ron Juice". It's cranberry juice, fresh cherries, fresh watermelon and vodka (i think) all blended together with ice. They all get ready to go to the club. The Situation says that he and Sammi are vibin' and "it's not a matter of 'if' we hook up, it's a matter of when I decide."
They all walk to the club and get their drink on. Everyone is dancing and having a good time. The Situation decides it's time and he and Sammi start dancing and making out. Pauly D an JWOW are making out and dancing. All of a sudden she takes off his shirt and then leaves the club and goes home "because I didn't want to cheat on my boyfriend." Um...you saw Pauly D's penis last night and you guys just made out at the club. Too late! Sammi decides that she's had enough of The Situation for one night and moves onto RONNIE. Sammi says that Ronnie is "f-ing HOT!" Really? Anyhow, she starts dancing with Ronnie and they start making out. The Situation cannot believe his eyes.
The Situation is pissed! He walks up to Sammi and says "I saw you with Ronnie. How you gonna hook up with someone in the house right in front of me like that? Is that what you do? You hook up with me half the night, and then Ronnie half the night?" Sammi interviews that she should be able to do what she wants because she's not tied down to anybody. The Situation is hurt and keeps flipping her off. He walks up again and says "You f-ing do your thing, I'm gonna do mine." Ok, then do it and let it go. Sammi interviews that The Situation is freaking out and they weren't even dating! Then she proceeds to hook up with Ronnie.
The Situation says he's "a tiny bit upset" that Sammi shot him down. SO, he does what any hurt, angry, guido with a bruised ego would do: he starts a fight with some guy who was looking at him. The Situation tells Pauly D that some guy is starting trouble. So, The Situation blows a kiss to the guy and the guy gets angry and comes at them. He pushes Vinny and Pauly D snaps. He goes after the guy and throws a punch. Security kicks them all out and they start walking home. The Situation notices that there are 3 hot chicks walking behind them, so they turn around to meet the girls. The boys bring them back to the roof to drink some more and The Situation starts making out with one of them. Then he decides to go downstairs to get more drinks.
The Situation walks into the house and Ronnie and Sammi are in the kitchen. He can't just get his drinks and leave. He goes up to Sammi and asks her if she had a good night. She says she did and he says that she screwed up. He's obviously hurt and embarrassed and wants to try to make her feel bad. She interviews that she doesn't want to have anything to do with The Situation. The Situation won't let up. He again talks about how Sammi was vibin' with him and holding his hand the first night and making out with him and then decides to hook up with Ronnie. Sammi says that Ronnie is hot and she made her choice. The Situation can't believe it. He keeps telling her to do her thing, but he's still pissed. Sammi tells him to go upstairs to his "whores". The Situation goes upstairs and tells the girls that Sammi told him to go upstairs to his "whores." One of the girls gets pissed and says she's not a whore. The Situation tells her not to worry about it because no one is going to come upstairs and bother them.
Right then, Jolie comes upstairs and shouts "hey guys, are you coming downstairs to hang out with your roommates?" Jolie interviews that she was trying to "cock block." The Situation tells her that he'll be down in a few minutes and she's says no, he has to come now. The Situation interviews that he thinks Jolie is jealous because he's not giving her the attention that she wants. I think The Situation is absolutely right. The guys ask why she's a hater on the chicks that are up there. Jolie: "A hater? On these chicks? I don't think so. Look at me," implying that she's so hot she doesn't have to hate on those girls. The girls leave and Jolie goes downstairs.
The Situation walks into the house and calls Jolie a "hater." She blows him off, but he's pissed. He tells Jolie that she's on his shitlist. Jolie tells him that the girls he brought home were zeros, so he tells Jolie that must mean she's a -3. She tells him to look at her because she's all natural and she's hot. The Situation tells her "lose 5-10 pounds and we can talk. OK?" Ouch. Jolie: "Yo. I will cut your hair while you are sleeping." ha.
Ronnie and Sammi are laying on the futon on the roof. Ronnie tells her "Your boy was mad, like, 'What happened to my girl?'" Ronnie tells Sammi that she crushed the Situation tonight. Sammi says that she was never his "thing." I see your point, Sammi, you weren't his girlfriend, but you did hook up with the guy and you were giving him all the signals. Plus, he's your roommate and it's never good to hook up with two guys that you live with. Ronnie is eating this all up. He's a huge meathead and The Situation is smarter and more cut. Ronnie has muscles, but he's seriously like the HULK. He's just huge. The Situation is smaller but super cut. I'm sure Ronnie is a little intimidated so he's feeling awesome that he got the girl.
It's going to be an awesome season...
Nicole - Snickers
Jennie - JWOW
Mike - Situation
Angelina - Jolie (only because that's what they call her so it makes it easier)
So Snickers has decided to move out. It's the next morning and she's having second thoughts. She knows she screwed up by getting wasted the first night and now everyone thinks she's a slutty whore. Well... Anyhow, she is telling everyone she's leaving. I think she just wants people to beg her to stay.
The Situation is making breakfast and Sammi is eating and she interviews that The Situation is such a "sweetheart". She came downstairs and he had made her breakfast. Awwww. They are both shy and cute and tell each other that they like each other. The Situation interviews that he's a player, but with Sammi, there "might be enough vibin' that I'll cut that out." I'm skeptical.
It's raining in Jersey! Jolie and Pauly D are working together at the T-Shirt Shop. Pauly D says that he's pumped and thinks this will be an easy gig. Jolie, on the other hand, says that the Jersey Shore is a "playground and not a place to come and work." Yikes. She should have read her contract. Danny is telling them how important it is to "Sell, Sell, Sell!" [Sounds like my ex boss: Bill! Bill! Bill! - notice I said "ex". :)] Jolie is annoyed that she has to work a few days a week. Line of the episode, Jolie: "I feel like this job is beneath me. I'm a bartender. I do great things." This blog writes itself. Really.
Pauly D is making sales and putting himself out there. Jolie is...not. She wasn't selling and wasn't trying so Danny put her on "hanger duty" which meant she had to hang T-Shirts. HA. Jolie tells us "the hours are too much for me." Ugh.
Back at the house...Sammi walks into Snickers' room to talk to her. Snickers says she's still feeling sad. DRAMA. Snickers interviews (very seriously): "I love the Jersey Shore. I love being a guidette. But no one in the house can understand how I'm feeling right now." Sammi takes Snickers into the living room to talk to her. Sammi tells her straight up that she didn't like Snickers the first night because she thought she was the "sloppy girl." Then she says that the next day, she was still not feeling Snickers because she was like "ew" about the night before. But throughout the day, Sammi had a change of heart. She decided not to judge Snickers and just get to know her. Sammi interviews that she thinks Snickers needs to build up her self esteem. No kidding!! I think that all the housemates could use a little more self esteem and less arrogance. AND, a little self respect wouldn't hurt. Sammi tells Snickers not to go home and that she'll be there for Snickers if she needs a friend...people don't call her Sammi Sweetheart for nothing, y'all. Snickers tells us "I'm not a strong person as I look." Um...what? She has feelings, yo. I feel like I need to include quotes so that you can fully grasp the essence of the show.
Ronnie, The Situation and Vinny are all working out at the gym. If you want to look like The Situation, which he tells us is pretty hard, you need protein in your diet. I assume by "protein" he means "protein shakes". The boys are in the car on the way home and they talk about going out tonight. Ronnie is ready to get his drink on. The Situation tells him he could've done that last night. Ronnie says that if he just wanted to get crazy, he would've just "pounded out" Snickers the first night. Then, Vinny says that he thinks Ronnie has a crush on Sammi. The Situation agrees and says that Ronnie may not "like" her but he wants to at least hook up with her. Ronnie eloquently says "I'd pound out Sammi. I really would. She's f-ing cute." Ok, again. It's so weird when Ronnie says things like this because he looks like such a dumb, sweet, meathead. It's hard to hear him sound so crass and douche-y. The Situation wonders if he has some competition for Sammi with Ronnie and then he decides "Nah...I don't."
Breaking news: Snickers has decided...to stay. She's ready to party, meet sexy guidos and be single. WOOT!
Snickers walks down to the T-Shirt shop to find "something that makes me look hot" and to tell Pauly D and Jolie that she's staying. Pauly D says he's glad she's staying because she's his girl. Wait...what? When did that happen? He interviews that he and Snickers would make the cutest little guidos and guidette babies. Seriously, when did this happen? Weird.
It's time for the evening shift and The Situation and Sammi are working. The Situation says that he can sell a T-shirt standing still..."matter of fact, I just sold one just right now." Dumb. He's showing all the girls who come in "the situation" and selling them underwear with "I LOVE THE SITUATION"ironed on them. Danny tells him that he likes the situation right now. Heh. The Situation tells us that everyone loves him: dogs, babies, hot girls, cougars. He just has mass appeal.
JWOW is talking to the boys about her boyfriend. She admits that she and Pauly D have been flirting but that she would be the stupidest girl in the world to mess things up with her boyfriend. I'm sensing that she will become that girl before the episode is over. Meanwhile Jolie tells us that HER boyfriend's biggest concern is whether or not Jolie will cheat on him. Ugh.
The roommates are all getting ready. The gel and hairspray is polluting the house. Snickers says she's not "poofing" her hair and Jolie says "I would never to that to my hair if I were you." Snickers says "why not? I love the poof. It's f-ing guidette." I'm speechless.
They all stop at the shop to tell The Situation and Sammi that they are going out. They go to the club and Pauly D and JWOW are dancing pretty close. Vinny tells us that he will dance with anyone: fat, ugly, 45 years old, whatever. It's fun! Snickers interviews that her ideal man would be "Italian, dark, muscles, juice head, guido. If I found that guy I'd snatch him like that." What is a "juice head"? I thought that was someone who was on steroids. Is she really saying she wants someone who's juiced up on steroids? She's dancing with a bunch of different guys many of which seem like they fit that description. One of them has a girlfriend and Snickers says that it's really hard to find that perfect guy "cuz it's the Jersey shore, you know." Hmmm. Jolie seems to have found a "guido" of her own. She's grinding on a bunch of guys and Vinny is shocked because she has a boyfriend. Hasn't he ever watched MTV? This is what happens. Girls (and guys) say they would NEVER cheat on their significant others and they ALWAYS DO.
Snickers finds a guy and she's feeling like she wants to hook up. She's making out with him at the bar and she stumbles with him back to the house. He tells her she's the Queen of Guidettes not JUST a guidette.
Meanwhile, JWOW and Pauly D are dancing really close and teasing each other. Neither one of them wants to be the first one to kiss the other. Dumb. Camera cuts to Jolie freakin' some guy and Snickers walking home with her dude. Then we see the name of the club: KARMA. Heh.
Sammi and The Situation are having some dinner on the roof. They were exhausted and feeling a little annoyed that the housemates all went out without them. Then Sammi asks if any of the guys in the house like her. The Situation and I are actually thinking the same thing: Is she serious right now?? Why would she ask that? The Situation says Ronnie and then proceeds to bash him and make him look like Ronnie is a d-bag who just wants to get laid. Can you say "cockblock"? The Situation admits that's what he's doing but he doesn't care. Sammi says that Ronnie is a little bit of badass. I think she likes that.
Snickers and her "friend," Robbie, show up. They go up to the roof and Sammi is shocked because Robbie actually looks descent. Ouch.
The rest of the housemates come home. Pauly D and JWOW start hooking up and he shows her that his penis is pierced. Ewww. They keep making out and then she stops because she realizes that she just "technically" cheated on her boyfriend. There's no "technically" about it, JWOW, you cheated. Snickers says that she and her "friend," Robbie, went up to the roof "to watch the sunset, wait, no, the sunrise." Her "friend" is totally passing out and she's annoyed. "C'mon man, wake up! I brought you to the house and I wanna make out and you're totally ignoring me." HAHA. He wakes up and starts throwing up and it's disgusting. I actually gagged a little watching it. Sick. Snickers goes to the kitchen to get a plastic bag and she tells Ronnie and Vinny that her friend threw up. They start talking smack and she says "C'mon guys. He's my friend, ok." Um...you met him 2 hours ago, he's not your friend. He's some super drunk random you brought home to hook up with and now he's throwing up on your roof.
Snickers goes back on the roof and her "friend" offers her a piece of gum. She tells him she would like him to clean his mess right now. Heh. He finished and she walked him home. He thanks her for taking care of him and says goodnight. He leans in for the kiss and Snickers says "I'm not kissing you because you have throw up breath." Wow, now there's a line I've never said or heard before. Snickers says she has bad luck with guys and doesn't understand why. Well, I'd say your first problem is trying to find a guy in a bar and going home with the drunkest one there.
Next morning, everyone is in the kitchen making breakfast and Jolie wants to know what happened the night before. She claims that she doesn't remember anything...especially grinding up against some guys. The Situation tells us that Jolie is lying to everyone and they all know it. Jolie says that everyone thinks she cheated on her boyfriend so she's freaking out. She decides that she needs to talk to her boyfriend. She calls him and he says that he can't talk because he's in a meeting. Jolie says that she wants to talk to him now because she can't talk all day. He says he can't talk and hangs up on her. So, she calls back...about 5 times. He turned off his phone so her calls were going straight to voicemail. She can't understand what's going on because "he knows that I want to talk to him." Well, he certainly doesn't sound like a guy who's really scared of losing you.
Vinny discovers that he has pink eye. Gross. Ronnie says that's what he gets for dancing with a fat chick. Ass. Vinny tells all the housemates that he has pink eye. He goes into work to tell Danny that he can't work because he woke up this morning "with a little bit of pink eye." Is that being a little bit pregnant? Danny says he understands but asks him to find someone to take his shift. So Vinny goes back to the house to see if he has any takers. Sammi agrees to do the first part (3pm - 6pm), but that's it. She had to work last night and she wants to go out. They all pressure Jolie to take the rest of the shift (6-9pm), but she says she'll only do it if she can leave at 7pm because she needs to come and get ready to go out. Vinny says that they don't go out until 11:30pm, why does she need to start getting ready at 7pm. Basically, Jolie doesn't want to do it at all. So Vinny goes back and tells Danny that he could only get Jolie to cover until 7pm, so Danny just said to forget it. He'll make do.
The guys are all getting ready and Ronnie makes some "Ron Ron Juice". It's cranberry juice, fresh cherries, fresh watermelon and vodka (i think) all blended together with ice. They all get ready to go to the club. The Situation says that he and Sammi are vibin' and "it's not a matter of 'if' we hook up, it's a matter of when I decide."
They all walk to the club and get their drink on. Everyone is dancing and having a good time. The Situation decides it's time and he and Sammi start dancing and making out. Pauly D an JWOW are making out and dancing. All of a sudden she takes off his shirt and then leaves the club and goes home "because I didn't want to cheat on my boyfriend." Um...you saw Pauly D's penis last night and you guys just made out at the club. Too late! Sammi decides that she's had enough of The Situation for one night and moves onto RONNIE. Sammi says that Ronnie is "f-ing HOT!" Really? Anyhow, she starts dancing with Ronnie and they start making out. The Situation cannot believe his eyes.
The Situation is pissed! He walks up to Sammi and says "I saw you with Ronnie. How you gonna hook up with someone in the house right in front of me like that? Is that what you do? You hook up with me half the night, and then Ronnie half the night?" Sammi interviews that she should be able to do what she wants because she's not tied down to anybody. The Situation is hurt and keeps flipping her off. He walks up again and says "You f-ing do your thing, I'm gonna do mine." Ok, then do it and let it go. Sammi interviews that The Situation is freaking out and they weren't even dating! Then she proceeds to hook up with Ronnie.
The Situation says he's "a tiny bit upset" that Sammi shot him down. SO, he does what any hurt, angry, guido with a bruised ego would do: he starts a fight with some guy who was looking at him. The Situation tells Pauly D that some guy is starting trouble. So, The Situation blows a kiss to the guy and the guy gets angry and comes at them. He pushes Vinny and Pauly D snaps. He goes after the guy and throws a punch. Security kicks them all out and they start walking home. The Situation notices that there are 3 hot chicks walking behind them, so they turn around to meet the girls. The boys bring them back to the roof to drink some more and The Situation starts making out with one of them. Then he decides to go downstairs to get more drinks.
The Situation walks into the house and Ronnie and Sammi are in the kitchen. He can't just get his drinks and leave. He goes up to Sammi and asks her if she had a good night. She says she did and he says that she screwed up. He's obviously hurt and embarrassed and wants to try to make her feel bad. She interviews that she doesn't want to have anything to do with The Situation. The Situation won't let up. He again talks about how Sammi was vibin' with him and holding his hand the first night and making out with him and then decides to hook up with Ronnie. Sammi says that Ronnie is hot and she made her choice. The Situation can't believe it. He keeps telling her to do her thing, but he's still pissed. Sammi tells him to go upstairs to his "whores". The Situation goes upstairs and tells the girls that Sammi told him to go upstairs to his "whores." One of the girls gets pissed and says she's not a whore. The Situation tells her not to worry about it because no one is going to come upstairs and bother them.
Right then, Jolie comes upstairs and shouts "hey guys, are you coming downstairs to hang out with your roommates?" Jolie interviews that she was trying to "cock block." The Situation tells her that he'll be down in a few minutes and she's says no, he has to come now. The Situation interviews that he thinks Jolie is jealous because he's not giving her the attention that she wants. I think The Situation is absolutely right. The guys ask why she's a hater on the chicks that are up there. Jolie: "A hater? On these chicks? I don't think so. Look at me," implying that she's so hot she doesn't have to hate on those girls. The girls leave and Jolie goes downstairs.
The Situation walks into the house and calls Jolie a "hater." She blows him off, but he's pissed. He tells Jolie that she's on his shitlist. Jolie tells him that the girls he brought home were zeros, so he tells Jolie that must mean she's a -3. She tells him to look at her because she's all natural and she's hot. The Situation tells her "lose 5-10 pounds and we can talk. OK?" Ouch. Jolie: "Yo. I will cut your hair while you are sleeping." ha.
Ronnie and Sammi are laying on the futon on the roof. Ronnie tells her "Your boy was mad, like, 'What happened to my girl?'" Ronnie tells Sammi that she crushed the Situation tonight. Sammi says that she was never his "thing." I see your point, Sammi, you weren't his girlfriend, but you did hook up with the guy and you were giving him all the signals. Plus, he's your roommate and it's never good to hook up with two guys that you live with. Ronnie is eating this all up. He's a huge meathead and The Situation is smarter and more cut. Ronnie has muscles, but he's seriously like the HULK. He's just huge. The Situation is smaller but super cut. I'm sure Ronnie is a little intimidated so he's feeling awesome that he got the girl.
It's going to be an awesome season...
Monday, December 7, 2009
Jersey Shore, Season Premiere (Part 1), Episode 1
I've been dreading this recap since I saw this on Thursday. It is NO JOKE. MTV did a 2 hour premiere which is essentially the first two episodes of the show. I've been dreading it because there is just SO MUCH material. Let's get started...
Let me begin by saying that MTV lucked out on this one. This is Real World Jersey Shore. The difference is that MTV didn't have to pimp out a house for these guidos & guidettes (or wannabe guidos & guidettes - yes, I know, but some people actually aspire to be this). Apparently, when you spend your summer at "the shore", you live in a "Share House" - 6-10 people renting out a place for the summer. It's akin to getting a cabin in Tahoe for the Winter with a bunch of people. The difference is that the people in the Share House are there ALL SUMMER LONG and the people who stay in these Share Houses are like no one you've ever met and unbelievable. So all MTV had to do was rent a Share House and send 8 of the most ridiculous kids from Jersey there and BAM...you've got a show.
[DISCLAIMER: I use the terms "guido" and "guidette" in this recap - and expect future ones also - because this is what these people call themselves. I mean no disrespect or offense, I'm simply using the terminology that they have chosen. I actually thought it was an insult or offensive, but MTV didn't "bleep" it out and these people proudly refer to themselves this way.]
The Guidos and Guidettes:
PAULY D: Pauly is from Rhode Island and tells us when guidos stop their cars, the "chrome keeps spinnin'" (on their wheels). Pauly was born and raised "guido" and tells us it's what being Italian is all about. It's about representin' family, friends, tanning, culture, etc. He has a tanning bed in his house because he's so serious about "being guido and living up to that lifestyle". He also keeps gel companies in business. He has a stock of gel (so he never runs out ) and he's taking it all with him. Pauly's tagline is: I'm your girl's favorite DJ. Pauly says that he wants "all the guidettes to *** in their pants when they hear my music." Class act, this guy. (We later discover that he's 29 years old!!) He doesn't try to take a guy's girlfriend, but it just happens. He can't help it. It takes Pauly about 25 minutes to do his hair everyday but it comes out perfect everytime. "When I hit the shore, everyone's gonna see a new guido. Every girl loves the new guy."
NICOLE "Snookie": Some of these cats have nicknames. I think that's big on the East Coast - well, in the guido/guidette circles at least. Nicole is from Poughkeepsie, NY. She's about 4 feet tall and very curvy. Her black hair is LONG and she kind of looks like a short, fat version of Christina Aguilera in her black hair, tan skin phase. This girl is like an Oompa Loompa. No joke. Nicole: "I wanna married a guido. My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey and find a "juiced", hot, tan guy and live my life." I mean, you can't make this stuff up. She starts doing a little dance and sings "I love guidos, yeah!" She's walking down the street with her friends, yelling "I like tan guys with muscles!" Wow.
MIKE "The Situation": This guido is from Manalapan, NJ. His abs are so awesome that they are "The Situation". They look great, but it's a little weird to refer to them as "the situation". Mike tells us "A guido is a good-lookin', smooth, well dressed Italian." Mike says that girls LOVE guidos. He tells us that we can hate on him all we want but "what can you possibly say to somebody who looks like Rambo pretty much when he takes his shirt off?" I don't think I would say ANYTHING to someone who looked like that. Mike: "If I walked in the door and seen myself walk in, I'd probably grab my girl real quick."
[I'd paraphrase, but I think direct quotes give a fuller picture. :)]
SAMMI "Sweetheart": She's from Hazlet, NJ and they call her a sweetheart because "I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet...but do not F*** with me." She's not looking for Mr. Right, but she is looking to hook up with a lot of "good, hot, sexy guidos." She's got standards, people. They aren't very high, but whatever. Her mission is to find the hottest guido and take him home. Sammi tells us "A guidette is someone who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on make-up, has tan skin, wears the hottest heels...Pretty much, they know how to own it and rock it." Sammi finishes by saying "If you're not a guido, get the F*** outta my face." These girls are so classy.
VINNY: Vinny is from Staten Island and still lives with his Italian parents. He's a total mama's boy. He says that his ma does everything for him: cooks, cleans, laundry. He says that the guys with the fake tans, hair product and lip gloss aren't real guidos, they're "R******". He went to college (although didn't learn that using the "R" word is not acceptable) and spends time with his family. That doesn't mean he can't "fist pump" with the best of them. Then...he demonstrates. Now, some of you might be wondering, What is a "fist pump"? Well, it's exactly like it sounds. You make a fist with your hand and pump it in the air. I'm not kidding. He tells us "I'm proud to be a f*****' guido!" This is his first year at the shore. He's finally 21 and he's been waiting for this moment forever. He says it'll be hard to be away from home, but he's excited. His ENTIRE family says good-bye to him and his mom cries. I hope this guy is the group's conscience...but, I doubt it.
JENNI "JWOWW": From Long Island, she says "If you don't know me, then you hate me. And you want to be me." She also says she's like a Praying Mantis because after she has sex with a guy, she will rip their heads off. This girl is like a walking contradiction. She looks rough and has a total smoker's voice. Her hair is dyed black with white streaks. She kind of talks like a tough chick, but...she tans, wears heavy make-up and has fake boobs. I don't get it. She plays emotional games with guys and is all nice and sweet for the first month they are dating, then "I send 'em on a roller coaster to hell." A lot of girls hate on her, but they are just jealous. JWOWW has a boyfriend, but she's going to the Jersey Shore, bitches.
RONNIE: He doesn't have a nickname, but I think I'm going to give him one. His nickname will now be "Hulk" because he looks like the Incredible Hulk. He's the epitome of a Meathead. He tells us not to fall in love at the Jersey Shore and that this whole Summer is about getting laid. It's kind of funny because Ronnie has such a baby face. It's like this sweet little boy head on the body of a huge meathead. He says that the bank account may be low, but you always have to make a good impression: new sneakers, fresh haircut, gym body. He packs the essentials: huge tub of gel, two bottles of cologne and a vat of protein mix for shakes.
ANGELINA: She doesn't have a nickname yet, but this Staten Island girl will soon be going by "Jolie". UGH. She tells us right away that she's the "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, baby." Hmmm. Is that a good thing? She says she's all natural: real boobs and a nice, fat ass. "I mean, c'mon, I'm hot." wow. If she doesn't look good, she doesn't leave the house. She doesn't go out looking for guys, they usually just come up to her. She has a boyfriend and says that this a test for them to see if he can trust her. If not, C'YA LATER! She wants to show everyone in the house what it's like "to be a real guidette."
It begins.
"A New Family"
Everyone is driving to the shore and to the new house. Vinny tells us that there's nowhere else in the world like the Jersey shore. If he's talking about the people, I completely believe him. Mike says that people will look at him and say "Oh shoot. That's the situation right there. Yeah it is." Mike arrives first and has a look around. It's definitely not as fly as the real world houses, but they decorated it nicely. All that Jersey "charm" is present. There's a huge roof with a bunch of chairs/tables and a hot tub. It wouldn't be MTV without a hot tub. Pauly D arrives next. He's super pumped to be in Jersey and claims he's never been...well, he'll fit right in! Mike (The Situation) and Pauly D decide to bunk together and "we were thinkin', we could also bunk wit a chick." And with that...in walks Sammi Sweetheart.
When Mike sees Sammi, he thinks "DAMN" and decides he's "gonna hook up wit her". Sammi thinks Pauly D and Mike are really hot. Mike is in the room with Sammi and Pauly D and he's tryin' to convince Sammi to bunk with them. He says "'cuz I'm chill, he's chill and you seem chill" Sammi: "I'm real chill." Done. Sammi is bunking with the guys. Vinny comes in next. He is impressed with the guidos but he says that he expected hotter than Sammi. Oh, really? Hmmm. He's gotta figure out where he's going to bunk. There are two rooms for two people in each and a single left. Vinny puts his stuff in one of the double rooms but he might move it depending on who walks in next.
It's Jenni "JWOW". Vinny says all he sees are fake boobs and black hair with blonde streaks and he knows she's gonna be high maintenance, so he runs and moves his stuff into the single room. Nicole "Snooki" comes flying in next and it's hugs for everyone. Mike says she was like a spray-painted "miniature chihuahua". heh. She comes in asking if everyone's drinking and demands a shot. Next to arrive is Ronnie. Nicole says that she's totally attracted to Ronnie - "he's sexy, he's got muscles, he's a total guido." I can't figure Ronnie out. He looks like such a sweet boy, but he then when he opens his mouth, he talks about women melting in their pants when they see him and having a stripper pole in the middle of the room. It seems so weird.
They are all eager with anticipation to see who will arrive last. When Angelina walks in, she's carrying her stuff in garbage backs. Pauly D says: "In walks this girl with garbage bags. It's like ghetto and weird. What? You can't find a suitcase nowhere? No one in your family has a suitcase you can borrow?" I'll admit, for someone who's so entitled like Angelina, it does seem a little "ghetto" to carry your shit around in a garbage bag. THEN, Danny walks in. He's the owner of this party pad and he'll also be their boss for the summer. I guess they are living there in exchange for working in his T-Shirt shop. Danny gives them the lowdown on working for him...he says it'll be selling T-shirts, stocking them, cleaning, etc. Pauly D says he hopes it's not hard work because "I don't even wanna work. I'm a F-ing DJ." Apparently DJs do not work.
Danny takes off and the housemates are drinking! Nicole "Snookie" is taking many shots and is DRUNK. She tells all the roommates that she loves them. All the other roommates are laughing at how drunk she is. She is on the hot mess express for sure! She goes up to the roof and lays down on one of the futons while ranting about getting dissed by the Jersey guys in the house. Oh jeez. The rest of the roommates go up stairs to continue the party. Nicole interviews that she's used to being the center of attention and at this house, she's not. So it's hard for her. I can only imagine. She's being a drama queen and laying on the futon while the others do shots.
The boys all get into the hot tub and Nicole decides to join them. She's in her bra and thong underwear. Yikes. Vinny keeps calling her "Snickers" and it's cracking me up. Nicole is totally rubbing up against each of the guys and kissing their chests. Angelina and Sammi are sitting on a couch laughing at the trainwreck that is Nicole. Angelina tells Sammi "What is she doing, this girl?" and interviews "How do you go into a f-ing jacuzzi with a thong and a bra? Wear a thong bikini. That's a little more classier if you're gonna wear anything at all. You know what I mean." Jenni JWOW joins the hot tub mess and seems a lot more sober than Nicole which isn't hard to do because Nicole is WASTED. Nicole swims up and tries to make out with Jenni. Jenni looks away as the boys all holla. They all get out of the jacuzzi and the boys can't believe how drunk Nicole is. One of them says that she lives up to the Jersey slut name. Cut to Nicole slipping down the stairs. Ooooh. That's gonna leave a mark.
Nicole passes out in a hammock upstairs and the rest of roommates take off to check out the nightlife. (I've always wanted a hammock.) The roomies are playing carnival games while Nicole wakes up and stumbles around the house looking for them. The house has a "duck" phone - it's basically a phone that looks like a duck and quacks when it's "ringing". It starts quacking and Nicole can't figure out what the hell it is. She realizes it's a phone and decides to call her dad. The receiver of this phone also has a button at the bottom that hangs it up. So when you talk on the phone, you need to be careful not to let your chin hang it up. As soon as her dad answers, Nicole accidentally hangs up the phone, but can't figure out that she did it. She calls him back and they connect, but then she gets another call and the caller is harassing her. So she hangs up and then hangs up on her dad. She does not understand the phone. She hangs up and Jennie's boyfriend calls. Nicole tells him to hold on and then puts the receiver down, which hangs up the phone. HAHA. This is getting ridiculous. Are people really this clueless?
Angelina interviews that she thinks Mike is going to try to hook up with Sammi. She doesn't get why he would want Sammi over her. Jealous much? Ronnie interviews that Mike likes Sammi. Sammi and Mike are holding hands as the group walks through the boardwalk. Meanwhile, Nicole is still hanging up on Jenni's boyfriend. HAHA. She gets on the phone again as everyone walks through the door. Nicole tells Jenni that her boyfriend called and all the guys start hollering because she didn't say anything about having a boyfriend. Vinny says that she's a shady bitch. Really? Is it that bad? It's not like she's been making out with any of youse. (I'm starting to get into this whole Jersey culture).
Nicole wakes up the next morning and tells everyone she feels like ass. No kidding. She can't remember what she did last night...if that's true, it's a good thing. Unfortunately, MTV taped it and you, along with thousands of viewers, will get to see what you did last night. Nicole goes into the bathroom and asks Jenni to hold her hair while she throws up. WTF?? Jenni says hell no and walks out of the bathroom. The rest of the roomies are waiting to leave for orientation at the T-shirt shop while Nicole is throwing up in the bathroom. They decide that they can't be late and take off and leave her at home.
The T-shirt store is like the ones you see at Venice Beach. Huge space full of any kind of T-shirt a tourist could want. Danny notices that someone is missing right away. Nicole finally makes it out of the house and she's whining because she can't find the right T-shirt shop. In her defense, I can only imagine that there are dozens of these T-shirt shops on the boardwalk. She finds the right one and Danny takes her outside to talk. [Sidenote - WTF is up with her hair. It's super long and straight around her face. The she clips some of it back in a huge POOF on top of her head. She looks ridiculous.] Danny lectures her about being on time and she apologizes. He's going to let today slide, but next time, she's fired and out of the house. Yikes.
Nicole walks in the house and she immediately demands to know what's wrong and why is everyone acting weird towards her. They all placate her and then Sammi asks why she was late and what she was doing. Nicole just says she was in the bathroom. Sammi says she thought Nicole was "vomiting your brains out" and "I don't want your puke-y breath on me." GROSS. Sammi interviews that she doesn't want anything to do with Nicole: "I don't have time for stupid bimbos." Nicole is feeling left out. She feels like all the others got to bond while she was drunk the night before.
Sammi and Mike are cooking dinner. Pauly D enlightens us that "Girls are sposed to cook and guys are sposed to eat." BUT, Mike did his thing and cooked up some sausage and peppers. They had sausage and peppers, some chicken, some burgers and salad. They all sat at the table and Mike informs the group that "The Situation sits at the head of the table." Oh jeez. Vinny says that they decide to say a prayer like any traditional Italian family would and he cannot get through it. He starts the prayer and then busts out laughing. Jenni is pissed and interviews "If you're gonna say Grace, then say Grace." She doesn't want to hear people laughing. I'd listen to her guys, she looks like she would cut a bitch. Nicole is still feeling stupid and that everyone has this wrong impression of her so she decides to say something. Nicole: "I want to apologize to all of you if I acted like a f-ing [incoherent, but also bleeped so I'm not sure] last night, if I offended you or you got the wrong impression of me. I'm honestly, like, the sweetest girl. I get along with everybody. I just wanna have fun." They all clap and Sammi says that she really appreciated the apology. It's all good!
Mike, Ronnie and Pauly D are on the roof "fishing" for girls. Pauly D explains that they are so high on the roof that the girls walking by are like fishes and they are just fishing for chicks. They find some takers and tell the girls to come up to their place. They decide to meet them on the street in front of the house and Pauly D tells the boys that "our girls are gonna get heated" - referring to the girls in the house. Ronnie interviews that Mike and Sammi are interested in each other and "you can't bring girls into this house when you're vibin' with a chick. That's just gonna cause massive amounts of problems." The guys meet the girls and invite them up to the jacuzzi. The girls say they don't have bikinis, but the guys tell them it's not a problem. They go up and the girls go in their bras and thongs. Ewwww.
Meanwhile, Sammi and Angelina are discussing whether or not to go up there. I can understand why Sammi wants to go up. She wants to see if Mike hooks up with any of the girls. But, Angelina? Why do you want to go up? To see the guys hook up with skanks and then bitch at them?? They try to get Ronnie to come up and he says no because they are just going to start trouble. He tells them to "let them get their s*** in and that's it." Ronnie is trying to get them not to go up because it's gonna cause tension. Sammi says it won't and she and Angelina head up. Bad idea.
Sammi and Angelina arrive and Mike's getting nervous because he sees Sammi. I think Angelina is pissed because none of the guys want her. Ronnie walks upstairs with a bunch of cold beers for everyone and is shaking his head. The "skanky hos" in the jacuzzi are taking off their thongs and bras. Angelina says she had so much respect for the boys until this jacuzzi mess. She didn't think they were gonna be "typical Jersey whore guys." The boys try to recruit Ronnie, but he says he's not playing this game. One of the "skanky hos" tells him it's not a game and that it's "real life". Wow. Genius. Mike keeps eyeing Sammi and she notices. She tells Angelina "Mike's sh**ing his pants right now." She's right. He is. Mike interviews that Sammi is on "stalker mode" and Angelina is telling her "I told you so. I told you so. I told you about him." Ewww. Thongs are now coming off. Angelina wants to know how these girls can meet these guys and take off their underwear. I don't want to judge...but it is a little trashy to get naked in a hot tub with 3 random guys when you're being filmed (and not getting paid).
Pauly D dares one of the girls to kiss Mike "The Situation". Mike keeps looking over at Sammi and she's looking at him like "what are you doing?" So Mike develops a conscience and gets out of the jacuzzi. Sammi tries to pretend like she's not happy that he got out for her and tells him to do his thing. WHATEVER. You and Angelina sat there whispering and judging and giving Mike the evil eye, so he does what you wanted him to and got out of the jacuzzi....and now you are complaining?!?! Dumb. Angelina looks at Mike and Sammi and she is seething with jealousy. She can't believe Mike got out for Sammi. Angelina interviews "You're not 'The Situation', like, you're no situation. Don't bring the girls in the first place if you like someone else." I see her point. Mike says that Sammi is backing off right now, but "The Situation has got in all under control". Sammi and Angelina go back in the house and Mike gets back in the jacuzzi. Oh dang!
Sammi and Angelina go in the house and let Jenni know what's going on. The girls in the jacuzzi ask the guys to go back to their house and the guys are trying to decide what to do. Mike interviews "'The Situation' is going to be indescribable. You can't even describe the situation that you're about to get into the situation." WTF? Sammi and Angelina are telling Jenni that the girls are all 20 and Pauly is 29!! Angelina interviews that it makes the guys look like "typical jerk offs". Jenni comes in from having a smoke (I assume from the smoker's voice she's got going on) and tells the guys not to disrespect the girls - the girls aren't "going out and grabbing 3 d-----bags off the street and bringing 'em back here." Vinny is incredulous "This is the Jersey Shore. What do you expect us to do? Play with each other the whole time?"
Jenni interviews that she can't believe a 29 year old would make out with 3 20 year olds. Really? I can totally believe it. The girls from the jacuzzi are downstairs and wondering where the guys are. One of the girls walks in the front door and Angelina, Sammi and Jenni tell her to get out. Angelina tells them to close the door and "don't let it hit you on the ass on the way out." So the girls close the door and yell "Bitches!" as they leave. Angelina gets up and yells at them from the door "we don't slam doors in this house. All the whores, shut up!" You tell 'em, Angie!
Meanwhile, Nicole has been lying in her bed playing with her split ends and feeling sorry for herself. Her narcissistic self is convinced that all the yelling about "skanks" "hos" and "sluts" is about HER.
Angelina and Ronnie get into it because he can't understand why the girls are creating drama. He can't understand why they went up there to watch in the first place. He has a point. Angelina tells him maybe they should bring some respectable girls to the house, with class, not these trashy skanks. Um, you're at the Jersey shore...good luck finding those "respectable girls with class". The following fight occurs:
Ronnie: How do you judge who's classy or not?
Angelina: Um...HELLO?? Are you f-ing STUPID?? They're taking their underwear off in the F-ing jacuzzi. Are you dumb? That's classy? NO. Shut up.
Ronnie: Don't tell me to shut up. This is my f-ing house, too.
Angelina: Close your mouth, then.
Ronnie: I can open my mouth when I wanna f-ing open my f-ing mouth. This is why I told the guys not to bring those girls into the house. I knew you were all gonna bitch.
He's right. But this all comes down to Sammi and Mike. Yes, Angelina (or Jolie as the guys are now calling her) and Ronnie are fighting about Mike telling Sammi he liked her and then bringing skanks into the house. Mike and Sammi are feeling a little uncomfortable because other people are having a fight about them. Weird. Mike interviews that he feels a little weird because he was vibin' with Sammi and now he doesn't know. Angelina tells Mike (directly) that he shouldn't say he likes someone and then bring home skanks. Mike wants to know why everyone is linking him to Sammi when nothing has happened and they are just roommates right now. Ronnie: "Because your head is so far up her ass, you can see out her f-ing mouth, bro." HAHAHAH!!! Called out by the meathead! Awesome.
Jennie chimes in and tells Mike that he shouldn't bring dirty girls home. Mike says that he didn't. Jennie asks Vinny if Mike put his lips on another girl. Mike and Sammi are looking at one another and Mike is shaking his head and mouthing "no". Vinny shakes his head and says "Yes". Ok, I think Vinny meant to SAY no and nod. Dumbass. Mike gets pissed and denies kissing any of the girls. They didn't film him kissing anyone. So who knows?
Mike says that he and Sammi were vibing but he doesn't know what's going on now. He doesn't care because he says he can have his choice of anyone at the shore...except Sammi if she disses you. "Don't hate the player, hate the game, baby."
Nicole is packing. She insists that she's leaving tomorrow. She calls her dad and tells him that she got wasted on the first night and now feels isolated from the others and wants to come home. He tells her to stick with it. She goes in her room and starts packing. Ronnie comes in and asks her what she's doing and she says she's leaving. The girls come in and try to talk her out of leaving. I think it's awesome that she thinks they were all talking about her when they were talking about the skanks. Heh. It's not always about YOU, Snooki! She's being ignored and she doesn't know how to deal with that. So, she's going home...or is she? We'll find out in Part 2, Episode 2.
Let me begin by saying that MTV lucked out on this one. This is Real World Jersey Shore. The difference is that MTV didn't have to pimp out a house for these guidos & guidettes (or wannabe guidos & guidettes - yes, I know, but some people actually aspire to be this). Apparently, when you spend your summer at "the shore", you live in a "Share House" - 6-10 people renting out a place for the summer. It's akin to getting a cabin in Tahoe for the Winter with a bunch of people. The difference is that the people in the Share House are there ALL SUMMER LONG and the people who stay in these Share Houses are like no one you've ever met and unbelievable. So all MTV had to do was rent a Share House and send 8 of the most ridiculous kids from Jersey there and BAM...you've got a show.
[DISCLAIMER: I use the terms "guido" and "guidette" in this recap - and expect future ones also - because this is what these people call themselves. I mean no disrespect or offense, I'm simply using the terminology that they have chosen. I actually thought it was an insult or offensive, but MTV didn't "bleep" it out and these people proudly refer to themselves this way.]
The Guidos and Guidettes:
PAULY D: Pauly is from Rhode Island and tells us when guidos stop their cars, the "chrome keeps spinnin'" (on their wheels). Pauly was born and raised "guido" and tells us it's what being Italian is all about. It's about representin' family, friends, tanning, culture, etc. He has a tanning bed in his house because he's so serious about "being guido and living up to that lifestyle". He also keeps gel companies in business. He has a stock of gel (so he never runs out ) and he's taking it all with him. Pauly's tagline is: I'm your girl's favorite DJ. Pauly says that he wants "all the guidettes to *** in their pants when they hear my music." Class act, this guy. (We later discover that he's 29 years old!!) He doesn't try to take a guy's girlfriend, but it just happens. He can't help it. It takes Pauly about 25 minutes to do his hair everyday but it comes out perfect everytime. "When I hit the shore, everyone's gonna see a new guido. Every girl loves the new guy."
NICOLE "Snookie": Some of these cats have nicknames. I think that's big on the East Coast - well, in the guido/guidette circles at least. Nicole is from Poughkeepsie, NY. She's about 4 feet tall and very curvy. Her black hair is LONG and she kind of looks like a short, fat version of Christina Aguilera in her black hair, tan skin phase. This girl is like an Oompa Loompa. No joke. Nicole: "I wanna married a guido. My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey and find a "juiced", hot, tan guy and live my life." I mean, you can't make this stuff up. She starts doing a little dance and sings "I love guidos, yeah!" She's walking down the street with her friends, yelling "I like tan guys with muscles!" Wow.
MIKE "The Situation": This guido is from Manalapan, NJ. His abs are so awesome that they are "The Situation". They look great, but it's a little weird to refer to them as "the situation". Mike tells us "A guido is a good-lookin', smooth, well dressed Italian." Mike says that girls LOVE guidos. He tells us that we can hate on him all we want but "what can you possibly say to somebody who looks like Rambo pretty much when he takes his shirt off?" I don't think I would say ANYTHING to someone who looked like that. Mike: "If I walked in the door and seen myself walk in, I'd probably grab my girl real quick."
[I'd paraphrase, but I think direct quotes give a fuller picture. :)]
SAMMI "Sweetheart": She's from Hazlet, NJ and they call her a sweetheart because "I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet...but do not F*** with me." She's not looking for Mr. Right, but she is looking to hook up with a lot of "good, hot, sexy guidos." She's got standards, people. They aren't very high, but whatever. Her mission is to find the hottest guido and take him home. Sammi tells us "A guidette is someone who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on make-up, has tan skin, wears the hottest heels...Pretty much, they know how to own it and rock it." Sammi finishes by saying "If you're not a guido, get the F*** outta my face." These girls are so classy.
VINNY: Vinny is from Staten Island and still lives with his Italian parents. He's a total mama's boy. He says that his ma does everything for him: cooks, cleans, laundry. He says that the guys with the fake tans, hair product and lip gloss aren't real guidos, they're "R******". He went to college (although didn't learn that using the "R" word is not acceptable) and spends time with his family. That doesn't mean he can't "fist pump" with the best of them. Then...he demonstrates. Now, some of you might be wondering, What is a "fist pump"? Well, it's exactly like it sounds. You make a fist with your hand and pump it in the air. I'm not kidding. He tells us "I'm proud to be a f*****' guido!" This is his first year at the shore. He's finally 21 and he's been waiting for this moment forever. He says it'll be hard to be away from home, but he's excited. His ENTIRE family says good-bye to him and his mom cries. I hope this guy is the group's conscience...but, I doubt it.
JENNI "JWOWW": From Long Island, she says "If you don't know me, then you hate me. And you want to be me." She also says she's like a Praying Mantis because after she has sex with a guy, she will rip their heads off. This girl is like a walking contradiction. She looks rough and has a total smoker's voice. Her hair is dyed black with white streaks. She kind of talks like a tough chick, but...she tans, wears heavy make-up and has fake boobs. I don't get it. She plays emotional games with guys and is all nice and sweet for the first month they are dating, then "I send 'em on a roller coaster to hell." A lot of girls hate on her, but they are just jealous. JWOWW has a boyfriend, but she's going to the Jersey Shore, bitches.
RONNIE: He doesn't have a nickname, but I think I'm going to give him one. His nickname will now be "Hulk" because he looks like the Incredible Hulk. He's the epitome of a Meathead. He tells us not to fall in love at the Jersey Shore and that this whole Summer is about getting laid. It's kind of funny because Ronnie has such a baby face. It's like this sweet little boy head on the body of a huge meathead. He says that the bank account may be low, but you always have to make a good impression: new sneakers, fresh haircut, gym body. He packs the essentials: huge tub of gel, two bottles of cologne and a vat of protein mix for shakes.
ANGELINA: She doesn't have a nickname yet, but this Staten Island girl will soon be going by "Jolie". UGH. She tells us right away that she's the "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, baby." Hmmm. Is that a good thing? She says she's all natural: real boobs and a nice, fat ass. "I mean, c'mon, I'm hot." wow. If she doesn't look good, she doesn't leave the house. She doesn't go out looking for guys, they usually just come up to her. She has a boyfriend and says that this a test for them to see if he can trust her. If not, C'YA LATER! She wants to show everyone in the house what it's like "to be a real guidette."
It begins.
"A New Family"
Everyone is driving to the shore and to the new house. Vinny tells us that there's nowhere else in the world like the Jersey shore. If he's talking about the people, I completely believe him. Mike says that people will look at him and say "Oh shoot. That's the situation right there. Yeah it is." Mike arrives first and has a look around. It's definitely not as fly as the real world houses, but they decorated it nicely. All that Jersey "charm" is present. There's a huge roof with a bunch of chairs/tables and a hot tub. It wouldn't be MTV without a hot tub. Pauly D arrives next. He's super pumped to be in Jersey and claims he's never been...well, he'll fit right in! Mike (The Situation) and Pauly D decide to bunk together and "we were thinkin', we could also bunk wit a chick." And with that...in walks Sammi Sweetheart.
When Mike sees Sammi, he thinks "DAMN" and decides he's "gonna hook up wit her". Sammi thinks Pauly D and Mike are really hot. Mike is in the room with Sammi and Pauly D and he's tryin' to convince Sammi to bunk with them. He says "'cuz I'm chill, he's chill and you seem chill" Sammi: "I'm real chill." Done. Sammi is bunking with the guys. Vinny comes in next. He is impressed with the guidos but he says that he expected hotter than Sammi. Oh, really? Hmmm. He's gotta figure out where he's going to bunk. There are two rooms for two people in each and a single left. Vinny puts his stuff in one of the double rooms but he might move it depending on who walks in next.
It's Jenni "JWOW". Vinny says all he sees are fake boobs and black hair with blonde streaks and he knows she's gonna be high maintenance, so he runs and moves his stuff into the single room. Nicole "Snooki" comes flying in next and it's hugs for everyone. Mike says she was like a spray-painted "miniature chihuahua". heh. She comes in asking if everyone's drinking and demands a shot. Next to arrive is Ronnie. Nicole says that she's totally attracted to Ronnie - "he's sexy, he's got muscles, he's a total guido." I can't figure Ronnie out. He looks like such a sweet boy, but he then when he opens his mouth, he talks about women melting in their pants when they see him and having a stripper pole in the middle of the room. It seems so weird.
They are all eager with anticipation to see who will arrive last. When Angelina walks in, she's carrying her stuff in garbage backs. Pauly D says: "In walks this girl with garbage bags. It's like ghetto and weird. What? You can't find a suitcase nowhere? No one in your family has a suitcase you can borrow?" I'll admit, for someone who's so entitled like Angelina, it does seem a little "ghetto" to carry your shit around in a garbage bag. THEN, Danny walks in. He's the owner of this party pad and he'll also be their boss for the summer. I guess they are living there in exchange for working in his T-Shirt shop. Danny gives them the lowdown on working for him...he says it'll be selling T-shirts, stocking them, cleaning, etc. Pauly D says he hopes it's not hard work because "I don't even wanna work. I'm a F-ing DJ." Apparently DJs do not work.
Danny takes off and the housemates are drinking! Nicole "Snookie" is taking many shots and is DRUNK. She tells all the roommates that she loves them. All the other roommates are laughing at how drunk she is. She is on the hot mess express for sure! She goes up to the roof and lays down on one of the futons while ranting about getting dissed by the Jersey guys in the house. Oh jeez. The rest of the roommates go up stairs to continue the party. Nicole interviews that she's used to being the center of attention and at this house, she's not. So it's hard for her. I can only imagine. She's being a drama queen and laying on the futon while the others do shots.
The boys all get into the hot tub and Nicole decides to join them. She's in her bra and thong underwear. Yikes. Vinny keeps calling her "Snickers" and it's cracking me up. Nicole is totally rubbing up against each of the guys and kissing their chests. Angelina and Sammi are sitting on a couch laughing at the trainwreck that is Nicole. Angelina tells Sammi "What is she doing, this girl?" and interviews "How do you go into a f-ing jacuzzi with a thong and a bra? Wear a thong bikini. That's a little more classier if you're gonna wear anything at all. You know what I mean." Jenni JWOW joins the hot tub mess and seems a lot more sober than Nicole which isn't hard to do because Nicole is WASTED. Nicole swims up and tries to make out with Jenni. Jenni looks away as the boys all holla. They all get out of the jacuzzi and the boys can't believe how drunk Nicole is. One of them says that she lives up to the Jersey slut name. Cut to Nicole slipping down the stairs. Ooooh. That's gonna leave a mark.
Nicole passes out in a hammock upstairs and the rest of roommates take off to check out the nightlife. (I've always wanted a hammock.) The roomies are playing carnival games while Nicole wakes up and stumbles around the house looking for them. The house has a "duck" phone - it's basically a phone that looks like a duck and quacks when it's "ringing". It starts quacking and Nicole can't figure out what the hell it is. She realizes it's a phone and decides to call her dad. The receiver of this phone also has a button at the bottom that hangs it up. So when you talk on the phone, you need to be careful not to let your chin hang it up. As soon as her dad answers, Nicole accidentally hangs up the phone, but can't figure out that she did it. She calls him back and they connect, but then she gets another call and the caller is harassing her. So she hangs up and then hangs up on her dad. She does not understand the phone. She hangs up and Jennie's boyfriend calls. Nicole tells him to hold on and then puts the receiver down, which hangs up the phone. HAHA. This is getting ridiculous. Are people really this clueless?
Angelina interviews that she thinks Mike is going to try to hook up with Sammi. She doesn't get why he would want Sammi over her. Jealous much? Ronnie interviews that Mike likes Sammi. Sammi and Mike are holding hands as the group walks through the boardwalk. Meanwhile, Nicole is still hanging up on Jenni's boyfriend. HAHA. She gets on the phone again as everyone walks through the door. Nicole tells Jenni that her boyfriend called and all the guys start hollering because she didn't say anything about having a boyfriend. Vinny says that she's a shady bitch. Really? Is it that bad? It's not like she's been making out with any of youse. (I'm starting to get into this whole Jersey culture).
Nicole wakes up the next morning and tells everyone she feels like ass. No kidding. She can't remember what she did last night...if that's true, it's a good thing. Unfortunately, MTV taped it and you, along with thousands of viewers, will get to see what you did last night. Nicole goes into the bathroom and asks Jenni to hold her hair while she throws up. WTF?? Jenni says hell no and walks out of the bathroom. The rest of the roomies are waiting to leave for orientation at the T-shirt shop while Nicole is throwing up in the bathroom. They decide that they can't be late and take off and leave her at home.
The T-shirt store is like the ones you see at Venice Beach. Huge space full of any kind of T-shirt a tourist could want. Danny notices that someone is missing right away. Nicole finally makes it out of the house and she's whining because she can't find the right T-shirt shop. In her defense, I can only imagine that there are dozens of these T-shirt shops on the boardwalk. She finds the right one and Danny takes her outside to talk. [Sidenote - WTF is up with her hair. It's super long and straight around her face. The she clips some of it back in a huge POOF on top of her head. She looks ridiculous.] Danny lectures her about being on time and she apologizes. He's going to let today slide, but next time, she's fired and out of the house. Yikes.
Nicole walks in the house and she immediately demands to know what's wrong and why is everyone acting weird towards her. They all placate her and then Sammi asks why she was late and what she was doing. Nicole just says she was in the bathroom. Sammi says she thought Nicole was "vomiting your brains out" and "I don't want your puke-y breath on me." GROSS. Sammi interviews that she doesn't want anything to do with Nicole: "I don't have time for stupid bimbos." Nicole is feeling left out. She feels like all the others got to bond while she was drunk the night before.
Sammi and Mike are cooking dinner. Pauly D enlightens us that "Girls are sposed to cook and guys are sposed to eat." BUT, Mike did his thing and cooked up some sausage and peppers. They had sausage and peppers, some chicken, some burgers and salad. They all sat at the table and Mike informs the group that "The Situation sits at the head of the table." Oh jeez. Vinny says that they decide to say a prayer like any traditional Italian family would and he cannot get through it. He starts the prayer and then busts out laughing. Jenni is pissed and interviews "If you're gonna say Grace, then say Grace." She doesn't want to hear people laughing. I'd listen to her guys, she looks like she would cut a bitch. Nicole is still feeling stupid and that everyone has this wrong impression of her so she decides to say something. Nicole: "I want to apologize to all of you if I acted like a f-ing [incoherent, but also bleeped so I'm not sure] last night, if I offended you or you got the wrong impression of me. I'm honestly, like, the sweetest girl. I get along with everybody. I just wanna have fun." They all clap and Sammi says that she really appreciated the apology. It's all good!
Mike, Ronnie and Pauly D are on the roof "fishing" for girls. Pauly D explains that they are so high on the roof that the girls walking by are like fishes and they are just fishing for chicks. They find some takers and tell the girls to come up to their place. They decide to meet them on the street in front of the house and Pauly D tells the boys that "our girls are gonna get heated" - referring to the girls in the house. Ronnie interviews that Mike and Sammi are interested in each other and "you can't bring girls into this house when you're vibin' with a chick. That's just gonna cause massive amounts of problems." The guys meet the girls and invite them up to the jacuzzi. The girls say they don't have bikinis, but the guys tell them it's not a problem. They go up and the girls go in their bras and thongs. Ewwww.
Meanwhile, Sammi and Angelina are discussing whether or not to go up there. I can understand why Sammi wants to go up. She wants to see if Mike hooks up with any of the girls. But, Angelina? Why do you want to go up? To see the guys hook up with skanks and then bitch at them?? They try to get Ronnie to come up and he says no because they are just going to start trouble. He tells them to "let them get their s*** in and that's it." Ronnie is trying to get them not to go up because it's gonna cause tension. Sammi says it won't and she and Angelina head up. Bad idea.
Sammi and Angelina arrive and Mike's getting nervous because he sees Sammi. I think Angelina is pissed because none of the guys want her. Ronnie walks upstairs with a bunch of cold beers for everyone and is shaking his head. The "skanky hos" in the jacuzzi are taking off their thongs and bras. Angelina says she had so much respect for the boys until this jacuzzi mess. She didn't think they were gonna be "typical Jersey whore guys." The boys try to recruit Ronnie, but he says he's not playing this game. One of the "skanky hos" tells him it's not a game and that it's "real life". Wow. Genius. Mike keeps eyeing Sammi and she notices. She tells Angelina "Mike's sh**ing his pants right now." She's right. He is. Mike interviews that Sammi is on "stalker mode" and Angelina is telling her "I told you so. I told you so. I told you about him." Ewww. Thongs are now coming off. Angelina wants to know how these girls can meet these guys and take off their underwear. I don't want to judge...but it is a little trashy to get naked in a hot tub with 3 random guys when you're being filmed (and not getting paid).
Pauly D dares one of the girls to kiss Mike "The Situation". Mike keeps looking over at Sammi and she's looking at him like "what are you doing?" So Mike develops a conscience and gets out of the jacuzzi. Sammi tries to pretend like she's not happy that he got out for her and tells him to do his thing. WHATEVER. You and Angelina sat there whispering and judging and giving Mike the evil eye, so he does what you wanted him to and got out of the jacuzzi....and now you are complaining?!?! Dumb. Angelina looks at Mike and Sammi and she is seething with jealousy. She can't believe Mike got out for Sammi. Angelina interviews "You're not 'The Situation', like, you're no situation. Don't bring the girls in the first place if you like someone else." I see her point. Mike says that Sammi is backing off right now, but "The Situation has got in all under control". Sammi and Angelina go back in the house and Mike gets back in the jacuzzi. Oh dang!
Sammi and Angelina go in the house and let Jenni know what's going on. The girls in the jacuzzi ask the guys to go back to their house and the guys are trying to decide what to do. Mike interviews "'The Situation' is going to be indescribable. You can't even describe the situation that you're about to get into the situation." WTF? Sammi and Angelina are telling Jenni that the girls are all 20 and Pauly is 29!! Angelina interviews that it makes the guys look like "typical jerk offs". Jenni comes in from having a smoke (I assume from the smoker's voice she's got going on) and tells the guys not to disrespect the girls - the girls aren't "going out and grabbing 3 d-----bags off the street and bringing 'em back here." Vinny is incredulous "This is the Jersey Shore. What do you expect us to do? Play with each other the whole time?"
Jenni interviews that she can't believe a 29 year old would make out with 3 20 year olds. Really? I can totally believe it. The girls from the jacuzzi are downstairs and wondering where the guys are. One of the girls walks in the front door and Angelina, Sammi and Jenni tell her to get out. Angelina tells them to close the door and "don't let it hit you on the ass on the way out." So the girls close the door and yell "Bitches!" as they leave. Angelina gets up and yells at them from the door "we don't slam doors in this house. All the whores, shut up!" You tell 'em, Angie!
Meanwhile, Nicole has been lying in her bed playing with her split ends and feeling sorry for herself. Her narcissistic self is convinced that all the yelling about "skanks" "hos" and "sluts" is about HER.
Angelina and Ronnie get into it because he can't understand why the girls are creating drama. He can't understand why they went up there to watch in the first place. He has a point. Angelina tells him maybe they should bring some respectable girls to the house, with class, not these trashy skanks. Um, you're at the Jersey shore...good luck finding those "respectable girls with class". The following fight occurs:
Ronnie: How do you judge who's classy or not?
Angelina: Um...HELLO?? Are you f-ing STUPID?? They're taking their underwear off in the F-ing jacuzzi. Are you dumb? That's classy? NO. Shut up.
Ronnie: Don't tell me to shut up. This is my f-ing house, too.
Angelina: Close your mouth, then.
Ronnie: I can open my mouth when I wanna f-ing open my f-ing mouth. This is why I told the guys not to bring those girls into the house. I knew you were all gonna bitch.
He's right. But this all comes down to Sammi and Mike. Yes, Angelina (or Jolie as the guys are now calling her) and Ronnie are fighting about Mike telling Sammi he liked her and then bringing skanks into the house. Mike and Sammi are feeling a little uncomfortable because other people are having a fight about them. Weird. Mike interviews that he feels a little weird because he was vibin' with Sammi and now he doesn't know. Angelina tells Mike (directly) that he shouldn't say he likes someone and then bring home skanks. Mike wants to know why everyone is linking him to Sammi when nothing has happened and they are just roommates right now. Ronnie: "Because your head is so far up her ass, you can see out her f-ing mouth, bro." HAHAHAH!!! Called out by the meathead! Awesome.
Jennie chimes in and tells Mike that he shouldn't bring dirty girls home. Mike says that he didn't. Jennie asks Vinny if Mike put his lips on another girl. Mike and Sammi are looking at one another and Mike is shaking his head and mouthing "no". Vinny shakes his head and says "Yes". Ok, I think Vinny meant to SAY no and nod. Dumbass. Mike gets pissed and denies kissing any of the girls. They didn't film him kissing anyone. So who knows?
Mike says that he and Sammi were vibing but he doesn't know what's going on now. He doesn't care because he says he can have his choice of anyone at the shore...except Sammi if she disses you. "Don't hate the player, hate the game, baby."
Nicole is packing. She insists that she's leaving tomorrow. She calls her dad and tells him that she got wasted on the first night and now feels isolated from the others and wants to come home. He tells her to stick with it. She goes in her room and starts packing. Ronnie comes in and asks her what she's doing and she says she's leaving. The girls come in and try to talk her out of leaving. I think it's awesome that she thinks they were all talking about her when they were talking about the skanks. Heh. It's not always about YOU, Snooki! She's being ignored and she doesn't know how to deal with that. So, she's going home...or is she? We'll find out in Part 2, Episode 2.
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