"Friends Facelifts & Florida"
VICKI
Vicki visits her jeweler with Briana. She wants her to help design a gift for Don because it's their 15 year wedding anniversary. Vicki says that when they got married they didn't have a lot of money so he has a lame ring. She's thinking three princess cut diamonds in a ring for Don. Um, I'm thinking that any kind of cut with the word "princess" in it isn't very masculine. I think she has emasculated this man enough. Why throw in the 3 princess cut diamonds? She's also going to add an inscription. It's an $11,500 ring. Jeez. Don is not a "bling" kind of guy.
ALEXIS
Alexis brings the twins with her to get a mani/pedi and she's excited for the girls to get one, too. Um, really? They are 2 years old. Seriously? Is this necessary? I see two very high maintenance teenagers their future. One of the girls has a total meltdown and does not want a mani/pedi. Of course she doesn't...she's TWO. That one is screaming and Alexis is trying to calm her down and the other one is squirming and her manicurist needs someone to hold her down. She does not want to sit still. She ends up not getting her nails done, either. Alexis interviews that she pushed the mani/pedi experience too soon and that the girls were not quite ready for it. Um, ya think? Dumb.
LYNNE
Lynne arrives for her facelift/surgery/etc. Frank is feeling nervous that both Lynne and Raquel are getting stuff done today. Alexa interviews that her dad is always complaining that they spend too much money on stupid stuff...but here are her mom and Raquel getting surgery that they don't really need right now! The doc comes in to see Lynne and goes over what he's doing: a neck lift, a face lift and a brow lift. Wow. Alexa says that her mom and Raquel think that plastic surgery is going to be the answer to all of their problems, but it's not. That Alexa is a really smart girl.
Raquel arrives for her nose job while Lynne is still in surgery. Frank is worried about Raquel. Lynne is finished and in recovery. She's totally out of it. Frank gets the news that Lynne is doing great. Raquel is in with the doc and she's very excited about recovering with her mom so that her dad and Alexa can wait on her. Ugh. Frank admits that decisions like this can be risky in this economy, but he doesn't put a pricetag on his wife's or his daughter's happiness. Whatever, Frank. That is so dumb. Maybe you should be asking yourself why your wife and your daughter can only be happy altering their APPEARANCE. These people just make me sad.
VICKI
Vicki tells Tamra that she's heading to West Palm Beach, Florida soon for her annual convention and she thought it would be fun if Tamra and the girls could come out and meet her. GIRLS TRIP...including Gretchen. Tamra says that it sounds great. Tamra says that she just needs to clear it with Simon because they don't really travel apart. WTF? Why would Simon WANT to go on a girls trip? So dumb. Tamra interviews that she would like to think that Simon trusts her, but sometimes he likes to watch over her. There is so much wrong with that.
GRETCHEN
Gretchen and Slade are at the local community college taking motorcycle classes so that Gretchen can ride that "big ass bike" that Jeff gave her. Gretchen is such an idiot and flirting with everyone and acting like an ass. No one is the self professed "class clown". Dumb.
TAMRA
Tamra is talking to Simon. Marcos, their realtor, offered Tamra a job and Simon wants to make sure it's like last time - just a part time gig. Simon tells her that he doesn't want her away from the kids. She tells Simon that she'll take whatever she can since they need the money. Simon's ego doesn't like that. So he tells her that when he spoke with Marcos about bringing Tamra on, Marcos indicated that Tamra would do the showings but that Marcos would be doing all the work. Tamra says that it's not a partnership if Marcos is doing all the work. True. Simon says that he doesn't want her taking away from raising the kids because that's important to him. Tamra interviews that the older she gets, the more independent she is and she wants to work and contribute to her family. Good for her.
Tamra changes the subject and tells Simon that Ryan has opted to take 5 days in jail instead of the community service. Simon tells Tamra that if Ryan goes to jail for this short time and gets out that he'll just be back doing the same stuff with no real consequences. 5 days is nothing...I see Simon's point, but it's her son and he just needs to support his wife right now. Simon tells Tamra that she is the only one who can change Ryan. He says that she needs to show Ryan that if he acts a certain way, she's not going to be there for him. Tamra says that she's not going to turn her back on her son. Tamra thinks Simon is blaming her for Ryan going to jail and Simon says that he's not saying that. He's just saying that Tamra needs to give him some tough love. I see Simon's point. Ryan is a brat AND he's an adult. Tamra would do him some good by showing him a little tough love.
THE MEN
Don, Simon and Jim are at the Monarch Beach Golf Course. I like Don. He's a good guy. They are all having a good time. They finally stop and have drinks. Jim brings up the La Perla lingerie event and says that they missed Don. Don asks if they spent a lot of money on lingerie and Jim says not a lot, not in this economy. Jim says that what he's learned is that he has a lot of shit he doesn't need. Wow...that's probably the only thing Jim will ever say that I will agree with. Simon says that this recession has knocked everyone back to the 1950's where you realize your kids don't need the brand new video game or new outfit or new shoes. Jim says: "So we're all going to Florida with the women." Don says "No, we're not ALL going to Florida." Don says that they weren't invited and Jim says that he's inviting Don. Don says that he's ok and he's not going. BECAUSE DON ISN'T A CONTROLLING D-BAG!! His wife can actually do things and go places with her friends and he doesn't need to be there.
Jim says that in 5 years of marriage, he and his wife have never spent a day apart. Simon says that he's the same way. Don says that he's not interested in going on the girls vacation. It sounds like Simon and Jim are trying to convince Don that he should go on every single vacation and spend every single day with Vicki. Don just says "Whatever works for you." Right on, Don. Simon and Jim are so dumb. Is there some competition among husbands about who spends the least number of days apart from their wife? They try to say it in terms of loving their spouse and wanting to spend every day with her. But they are FULL OF SHIT. They are just controlling sons of bitches who want to be there so that they know EVERYTHING their spouse is doing. Suffocating. Don says that he couldn't handle their marriages and they couldn't handle his. He couldn't be that "clutching or controlling or whatever." Exactly, Don. Because you actually respect your wife. Don says that the Florida thing is aggravating because the men weren't invited from the start. Tru dat.
ALEXIS
Alexis meets Gretchen for lunch at Charles Palmier in the Southcoast Shopping Center, aka the mall. It's so strange to me that Gretchen and Alexis are both 32 years old. They are both "pretty" and look good, but I feel like they still look older than 32. Especially Gretchen. She could easily be 38-40. Alexis interviews that she wants to find out more about this Florida trip. Alexis says that she and her husband have the best marriage in the world and she's not about to leave him for the weekend to go to Florida. HA! As if you have a choice. Gretchen says that she trusts Slade and he trusts her so if she wants to go to Florida with the girls, she's going to Florida with the girls. I can totally respect that. Alexis tells Gretchen that she's only been apart from her husband for 1 day in the last 5 years. [Maybe that's what Jim said, too, I didn't think so, but I may have misspoken. Whatever 1 day, 0 days, it's still weird.] Gretchen asks if Alexis struggles with that and she says that she's the same way. She can't be without Jim because she's traditional and from the Midwest. Hmmm. She tells Gretchen that God told her not to let Jim go and that she and Jim are both Christian and on the same page about morals and values and how to raise kids. Gretchen takes a big sip of her martini. She interviews that she was surprised when Alexis said that Jim is "Godly" because that's not how she pictured them. Alexis says that when you allow the "Devil" or "temptation" to come into your life, that's when you have problems. Gretchen interviews "Wow that's surprising to me that you don't let temptation into your relationship, but yet I'm gonna let my wife wear the tightest little outfit with these two huge lures out in front to lure in the temptation." HAHA. Well, said Gretchen. Exactly. Can you say "hypocrites"? Alexis says that she's not going on this girls trip unless her husband is coming. My response to that: "THEN DON'T COME."
TAMRA
She tells Simon that she got a babysitter for Florida. Tamra interviews that the guys are coming on the girls trip but they are going to do their own thing. Simon asks if they will get to do stuff together and Tamra explains that this was initially a girls trip so they will do girl stuff while he and Jim golf. Simon interviews that "they" have a "rule" that they do not travel without each other unless it's a quick overnight trip - which I'm guessing is HIS loophole, not hers. But since she's going 3000 miles and "anything can happen", he's going with her. These insecure men are so annoying. I could never be with such a control freak. Tamra interviews that she would prefer to go by herself. OMG!! Then go by yourself!! This is so weird. Tamra says that Vicki will probably be a little upset to see all the guys there. Simon says that he's not going to deal with Vicki's bullshit. He says that Vicki needs to mind her own business and stop trying to tell Tamra how to be married. He says that he and Tamra have a perfect marriage (Ahem. See Episode 7) and that they could never have Vicki and Don's marriage. Tamra says that they do not have a perfect relationship and Simon says that it works. Hmmm.
ALEXIS
Alexis gets botox. It's hard for her to tell us how many hours she spends on maintenance. When she was 27, she had to get botox once a year. Now that she's 32, she has to go twice a year. She must have some horrible skin. I'm so glad my mom is Mexican. She blessed me with skin that doesn't not need botox and I'm 35! Maybe the botox is what makes her so weird looking. Alexis tells us that Jim loves that she gets botox because he never has to worry about growing old with a frumpy wife. How very Christian of you guys! Too bad she's stuck with a frumpy husband...already.
LYNNE
Lynne sees the doc for her post-op feedback. She gets to look at herself in the mirror. Lynne actually looks great. But, I think it's less the surgery and more that her face is swollen, so she looks a little more normal and not so sunken in. Before her cheeks were so sunken in because her face was so skinny, but now that it's swollen, she actually looks good. Lynne likes how she looks. Raquel and Frank walk in and they tell her she looks fantastic. Raquel has her nose all bandaged. Raquel doesn't look that different with her nose job.
TAMRA
Tamra is showing a house with Marcos. Tamra is ready to work and earn some money. Tamra is great at showing houses. She has so much energy. It's the perfect job for her.
VICKI
Vicki and Don have dinner for date night. Vicki interviews that she and Don had a really bumpy road last year. But she realized that she needs to make Don her priority because if she doesn't, he'll leave her and she doesn't want that to happen. I really like her so much more this season than any of the others. Don tells Vicki about meeting the guys and how they brought up Florida. Don tells her that he told them that the guys weren't invited. Don tells her that Simon and Jim said that they don't travel without their wives. AND, that Simon told Jim that Vicki and Don aren't really "normal". Right. Because it's totally normal to control and own your wife. Vicki says "What's normal? Control your wife, read all her emails, tell her what to do?" Don says that he just got a kick out of the whole thing. Don has the right attitude. Vicki's right...they are controlling, insecure, d-bags. Vicki: "I don't know what normal is in a marriage, but you should be able to trust your spouse to travel...Period." Well said, Vicki. I concur. I really like them this season.
TAMRA
Tamra meets Gretchen for a drink. Tamra asked Gretchen to meet her so they could try to move on. Gretchen says that she hopes Tamra will hear her out and that Tamra really owes her an apology. DIOS MIO. Tamra says she doesn't care what happened in the past and wants to move forward. Gretchen is not ready yet and tells Tamra her accusations really affected her life. Tamra tries to get Gretchen to understand that this guy "Jay" called her and sent compromising pictures of him and Gretchen while she was with Jeff. Gretchen says that there were no compromising pictures and that she was NEVER in a relationship with Jay. Tamra interviews that Jay sent her several compromising pictures, but Gretchen won't fess up. So Tamra says "Ok. Jay lied to me and I don't care anymore. Let's move on." Tamra says she only has one request: to have Gretchen remove her blog from her website. I guess it's a 6 page blog calling Tamra a liar. Gretchen says she has to think about it and Tamra asks her if she's kidding. Gretchen says she didn't say bad stuff about Tamra. Tamra says that there are things in the blog that are untrue, so she hopes Gretchen will remove the blog because it'll be a huge roadblock to them moving forward. Gretchen interviews that if Tamra says they can only be friends if she takes her blog down, then Gretchen doesn't need to be friends with Tamra. Way to be an adult, Gretch.
See you next time.
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