Coupa Cafe. It appears that Kristin and Stacey the Bartender are friends now. This show is so random. They are having "lunch" and Stacey tells her that she's the first person she hasn't gotten into a fight with when they first met. And then she says that it would make her sad if they fought because they are both "bitches". As my friend Shannon would say, these girls were raised with entirely too much positive reinforcement. Kristin says that at some point she and Audrina need to talk. Stacey the Bartender ("Random") asks Why? Well, Kristin claims that she met up with JB just to tell him that they could only be friends. WHAT?? Hello? It's on film!! (See last paragraph of my last entry for a reminder). She thinks that it would be best if she and Audrina handle things like adults and figure it out. WHAT? Kristin wants to date Audrina's ex-boyfriend. What is there to figure out?? Kristin and Audrina are not friends. This is so dumb. I can't believe this isn't a show about kids in high school. I think this is what happens to people when they don't go to college.
OPENING CREDITS.
"Mess With Me, I Mess With You"
Confederacy, Los Angeles. Audrina and her sister, Casey, are shopping. Audrina tells her she got a text from Kristin and she wants to got to lunch...Audrina thinks it's to apologize. JB, however, is just trying to piss her off. Casey hits the nail on the head: "Justin's a douche." YES! Why can't anyone else comprehend this?? Move on people. He's disgusting! Audrina decides not to go to lunch with Kristin.
Speidi's House, Hollywood. She-Pratt comes over and is blown away by the home. Heidi is "adjusting" to it. Stephanie says that it's a "party house" which allows Heidi to jump in and call it a Bachelor pad. Bottom line, She-Pratt says "You can not have a kid in this house". Sponge Bob: "That's why I picked it." Why is this show filled with D-bag guys!?! Ok, I don't like She-Pratt, but she has totally pegged Speidi: "OMG. You guys are the most immature couple I have ever seen." YES, She-Pratt, they are. HAHA. It gets better. Heidi says she wants a kid to make Sponge Bob more mature. She-Pratt, again, correctly says "No, no, no, no, no. Cuz that's like a common mistake. Cuz like when relationships are bad, people think kids will make them better." ZING! Heidi defensively says that she and Sponge Bob have a "great relationship" they just need to add more to it to help them grow. Stephanie looks exasperated.
Lulu's Cafe, Los Angeles. Kristin and Lo are having lunch. WTF? They're friends? I'm so confused. Kristin tells Lo that she was supposed to have lunch with Audrina and Audrina just blew her off. heh. So Kristin tells Lo the same BS story about how she went to drinks with JB to tell him they're just going to be friends. Kristin says that JB just wanted to get to know her. Lo is not stupid and says "JB never called me for drinks to get to know me." heh. Then Kristin says that she's hurt Audrina didn't show up because she was putting herself out there. Whateves. Kristin's conclusion: "I probably should just go for Justin". Yes, that's the answer. Stupid. "You mess with me, I mess with you." GET AN EDUCATION!
Bleu Clothing, Los Angeles. Lo, She-Pratt and Audrina are shopping and talking about "fringe" - according to Stephanie "only as a vest". Good to know. Lo tells Audrina that she went to lunch with Kristin. Audrina was surprised to hear that Kristin actually thought that she'd show up. She-Pratt and Lo are surprised Audrina stood Kristin up. Audrina says that she didn't want to have lunch with Kristin so she didn't go. Good on ya, Audrina. So they are talking about Kristin and Lo says that Kristin is going to do whatever she wants. Audrina starts talking about the "girl code" again. This code section is different. It says that if you don't want to be friends with someone, you don't go out with their ex. Hmmm. Doesn't really sound right, but Audrina has appeared to have memorized the code. So she would know. She-Pratt tells the girls she needs something black to wear to Playhouse (a new club that's opening) and that Lo and Audrina have to come with her. Lo and Audrina are going to a showcase for a new band, Vedera, and encourage She-Pratt to come with them instead. She-Pratt finds out it's a girl band and says NO - because she's single.
Speidi's House, Hollywood. Heidi and Sponge Bob's neighbors stop by with their 4 y.o. (?) nephew Enzo who lives with them. They are engaged and immediately, Heidi offers to babysit if they go out of town. Sponge Bob looks like he's about to explode. Enzo asks if they have video games and Heidi tells him that Sponge Bob has every kind of video game Enzo could want. Enzo's guardians tell her not to tell him that (I guess the kid is obsessed with video games). HAHA. Enzo calls Sponge Bob, SPENDER, and asks "Spender" to play video games with him. The neighbors take off.
Sponge Bob goes inside with Heidi and he's actually freaked out. He says that he doesn't even recognize Heidi and that she's nothing like the girl he married. "Why would I want to hang out with a 6 year old kid?" Heidi: "To help someone out." Hmmm. Sponge Bob: "PLEASE don't ever volunteer me to babysit ever again. Thank you. Love you." Well, he has a point. He's clearly not into the kid thing and Heidi is never going to get him "into" it if she keeps shoving it down his throat. It's just going to piss him off. Get over it Heidi. He doesn't want kids right now. Either 1) wait a few years for him to change his mind, 2) accept that he may never change his mind and give up the idea of having kids, or 3) divorce him and find someone with the same values and goals who will respect you and your opinions. I vote for number 3, but who am I?
Vedera Showcase, Smashbox Studios. Audrina's co-worker shows up with the band and Lo and Audrina greet them backstage.
Playhouse, Hollywood. She-Pratt is at the opening with Brody, Jayde, Frankie, JB and Kristin. JB is totally clean-shaven. Hmmm, he looks less dirty, but he's still a douche. Jayde "can't stand" Kristin and looks pissed that she's there. Kristin tells JB that she's glad they went to drinks so that she could "get to know him" and that she's impressed. Dumb.
Vedera Showcase. Audrina tells the band that the crowd is ready for them to start. They are actually really good.
Playhouse...or Cirque de Soleil. Weird acrobats are contorting in the air. JB and Kristin are dancing (she's got a beer bottle in her hand...classy. Don't want to let that go.) She tells him that they can't base anything on what they hear about each other...just on what they know from one another. She threatens "If you f*** with my trust. I will cut you off so f***** fast." JB responds "I have nothing to hide anymore." What a way to start a "relationship.
Vedera playing in the background as Audrina looks on thoughtfully/sadly (?) and JB and Kristin are totally making out at Playhouse (She-Pratt is totally watching them).
Speidi's House. Heidi is babysitting Enzo and he's playing Wii Tennis. She asks him if he wants some snacks and he says he likes "cookies". Smart kid. (he's totally only 4, no way he's 6). Sponge Bob comes home and Enzo has learned how to properly say "Spencer". He's excited to tell Sponge Bob that he just hit the ball "super fast". Cute. Sponge Bob looks PISSED. He looks at Heidi and says "Are you kidding me?" while glancing at Enzo. Heidi just tells him to move aside because he's blocking Enzo's game. Sponge Bob: "Are you going to pay for this when he drops the remote or breaks something?" Heidi: "Take a chill pill." Sponge Bob tells Enzo it's time to go back to his mommy. Heidi keeps encouraging Enzo to keep playing. Sponge Bob walks over and turns off the Wii as Heidi yells "Spencer, don't you dare." Then he tells Enzo to go back next door while he talks to his wife. Wow. What an ass. I get it, he doesn't want kids, but that doesn't mean Heidi can't babysit. Jeez. As Enzo's walking out, Sponge Bob hands him some cookies and says "here are your cookies complements of the free babysitter. Say good-bye to Heidi forever." OMG. He's ridiculous. I do not understand how Heidi could put up with him for 5 minutes. Yikes.
Sponge Bob walks back in and Heidi thanks him for ruining her day. He does the same. She's going about this the wrong way. She's focusing on Enzo being so cute and why can't Sponge Bob see that. What she should be focusing on is that SHE agreed to babysit and she has a right to do that. Sponge Bob can't dictate what Heidi does...or maybe he can and that's why she didn't take that angle. Sponge Bob says he doesn't need to find Enzo cute. That's why he's not a parent. He can barely stand adults much less kids. He's got a point there. He says "Imagine if I did what you asked me not to do." Heidi says "YOU DO. All the time." heh. She's right, but she just takes it. You made your bed, Heidi.
Chaya, Venice. She-Pratt and Audrina are having lunch and asking each other about the showcase and Playhouse. She-Pratts drops the bomb. She saw JB and Kristin making out. Audrina is sad. She doesn't think it will last because they are both playing each other.
Kristin is riding on JB's motorcycle and they go to Neptune's Net on the beach. Ok, Kristin should really be watching The Hills because even MTV knows that JB is Audrina's ex-boyfriend (and not some random ex-non-exclusive hook-up thing). Kristin says she's had fun on JB's "motorcycle". She asks if she can have the helmet and he says "No way! I gotta save that thing to see if Audrina wants it back." He's such a jokester. LOSER. Of course, Kristin thinks it's funny and calls JB a game player. He says "I play games and you're a liar." Oh, snap. He's referring to her "We're just friends" speech. She claims she HAD to say that but then says she felt that it was the right thing to do. Whatever. They both do this flirty thing where they claim the other is more into them. They agree to have fun and hang out no matter what anyone says. This will not end well.
And they ride off into the ... traffic on Pacific Highway.
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