Last time on The Hills: Holly is an alcoholic, Brody and Jayde fight all the time, and Kristin forgives Justin (and he goes to meet Audrina)
Kristin's Place, Malibu. Bartender Stacie and Kristin are talking on the beach and BS tells Kristin she needs to have a party. Kristin wants to have a beach party that "goes into the night." They start talking about the guest list. Kristin tells BS that JB cooked her dinner, so BS asks if that eliminates the strike. (Kristin has a three strikes and you're out rule). Kristin says NO and that if he flakes again, he's out. He doesn't even get three.
Opening Credits.
"Sorry Boo, Strike Two"
Villa Blanca, Beverly Hills. Brody and Jayde are having some white wine and enjoying a nice lunch date. He thanks her for his birthday party. Then he tells her that Kristin is having a beach party and asks if Jayde is coming with him. Jayde says that she doesn't want to be at Kristin's and doesn't want Brody to go either. He says he's going and she rolls her eyes.
Speidi's House, Hollywood. Heidi is babysitting Enzo and Sponge Bob walks into the room. UGH. They talk about Kristin's party and Sponge Bob asks if Holly is still drinking and Heidi tells him "not in front of Enzo". Then Heidi says that Holly told her she's not drinking and Sponge Bob says "Your sister is a liar." Enzo: "Your sister is a liar. " Heh. Heidi: "I think Holly is good." Enzo: "I think Holly is good." Sponge Bob says "I think Holly should move home" Enzo "I think Holly should move home." Heidi "You're wrong, Spencer." Enzo: "You're wrong, Spencer." Sponge Bob "You're wrong, Heidi." Enzo: Silent...then "You're wrong, Spencer." HA!
Kristin's House, Malibu. It's the day of the beach party. BS and Kristin are setting up. She-Pratt and Holly show up. The boys show up and everyone is on the beach. Holly starts with a Jack and Coke and now she's doing shots. Kristin asks about Jayde (who is a no-show). JB texts Kristin "Sorry boo, strike two. I'll text you later." HA! Kristin decides that she's done with JB. Uh-oh, watch out, Jayde. Kristin is about to pounce on your man.
Holly is drunk and dancing on the beach. Wow. No shame. She is having fun. She-Pratt comes up to her and asks Holly if she's ok with drinking and stuff. Holly says she's fine and just dancing and having a good time. She says she hasn't had that much to drink. Holly doesn't look that drunk. JB shows up and now Kristin is...pissed. She doesn't understand why he would text that and then show up. OH GOOD LORD. Just be happy he's there. SO MUCH UNNECESSARY DRAMA. Brody goes to talk to JB. JB says he was just joking and Brody tells him that Kristin isn't into head games. JB starts laughing and says he doesn't care but that he thinks Brody might care. Brody denies it but not well. SNAP! JB just called you out! Brody distracts JB by telling him to do shots. Brody walks in the house and JAYDE is there. He's surprised and she asks him to take off his shades so she can see his eyes. Then he says, "what else do you want, QUEEN JAYDE?" and she tells him he's rude.
Audrina's house. Lo comes over and Audrina is watering plants. Audrina tells Lo about seeing JB the other night. Lo listens and then says "I hate to say it but all signs point to, he's not over you." Audrina attempts to look thoughtful.
Kristin's party. Kristin walks up to JB and pushes him. He laughs. She tells him his text wasn't funny. He's tells her to get over herself. She says "I'm done." JB says "Look. Were you happy when I got here or when I wasn't coming?" Good point. You know I don't like to give JB credit, but he's right. Kristin is kind of being stupid. She finally says that she was happy that he showed up and he says "throw the text out the window, then". Kristin goes into girl mode and says that she can't rely on him. WTF? He's not your boyfriend, remember?? UGH. This is why guys think girls are crazy. Meanwhile, Jayde is crying to her playmate friends about Brody being drunk and rude and flirty with Kristin. Brody comes up and starts fighting with Jayde. Oh Good Lord! These guys are f***ed up. GROW UP, PEOPLE!! Brody walks away and says "I'm done" about fifteen times and says "It's over." Jayde leaves.
Kristin's house. Next day. Kristin and BS are chatting. BS is telling Kristin that Holly was totally dancing her ass off. Personally, I think Holly is harmless. Ok, so she drinks and then dances her ass off. Who cares? She likes to dance!!! It's not like she's sleeping around or driving drunk or being reckless. She's drinking and dancing. Jeez. They start talking about JB and Brody and Kristin says she had more fun with Brody. Then she says "How funny would it be if I started dating Brody again?" BS says "How pissed would Jayde be??" Oh, that's a fantastic reason to date someone...to piss off their recent ex.
Speidi's House. She-Pratt is telling Heidi that Holly was drinking. Heidi is SHOCKED because Holly told her she wasn't going to drink ever again. Right. Because that's how sobriety works. Stupid. Holly comes over. Heidi asks about the beach party and Holly tells her it was fun. Heidi asks if Holly drank and Holly said that she had a couple of drinks. Heidi says that Holly promised she wouldn't drink ever again. Holly says she doesn't know where that miscommunication came from. Holly says that she told Heidi she would tone it down, but she's an adult and can have a couple of drinks if she wants. Heidi asks Holly if she thinks she has a problem and Holly says NOT AT ALL. Holly goes on to say that she sometimes goes weeks without drinking at all. She-Pratt interrupts and reminds Holly of She-Pratt's history. Holly says that she told She-Pratt she wasn't drunk at the party and She-Pratt says "don't bullshit a bullshitter." Then Holly says that they are different people and She-Pratt is projecting her shit onto Holly. I actually agree. She-Pratt was a hot mess with drugs/anorexia/alcohol. Holly drinks and dances. She's harmless. She-Pratt says it's rude for Holly to bullshit her. Holly is completely annoyed that she's being patronized by She-Pratt and her YOUNGER sister. Heidi says that she knows she's the younger sister but Holly is her ONLY sister. Heidi says that she feels responsible and starts crying and Holly is crying. Now She-Pratt and Heidi are hugging her and Holly is crying. She-Pratt tells Holly that they love her SO MUCH and that she just has to go to rehab. WTF? Holly gets up and says she has to get out of there and that she "doesn't need this from you guys." I really haven't seen Holly do anything other than dance when she's been drinking. No falling, no beligerence, no fights. Jeez. She-Pratt needs to check herself especially since she just got a DUI!
Brody's Condo. Brody starts by saying that Jayde was crazy the other night. Then, they start fighting. Brody says that Jayde started drinking and talking shit with her friends and caused a scene and embarassed him at Kristin's house. Jayde says that Kristin is manipulative and likes to start problems. Brody tells her to stop fighting about stupid things. Brody says that he doesn't "think" he has feelings for Kristin. Bad move, Brody. Jayde says "Why are we even sitting here talking if you don't know if you have feelings for another girl??" Then she gets up and tries to leave and Brody tries to stop her. She says "You figure out what you want to do. And if you want to get back together and you want to apologize, then you can call me" and leaves. She has a point. Why would you say that you aren't sure how you feel about another girl to your "girlfriend"?? Brody = not so smart.
See you next time...
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