"The Belle of Elle"
Kelly comes in and tells Whitney that Glamour selected her for a full page write up on her new line. They love Whitney's skirts so they'll shoot a "look" and then Whitney will get to pick up all the other accessories for the look that under $100. Kelly says that she wants Whitney to go with April because she thinks it will be cool for her to show up with "representation." Whitney asks if she can bring Roxy instead. Kelly: "God. Are we going to do this again?" HAHA. I love that Kelly hates Roxy and has no problem just telling Whitney - and Roxy - to her face. Whitney defends Roxy and says that Roxy has helped her so much throughout this process. Kelly wants to know how exactly Roxy has "helped" Whitney. Kelly: "I gave her a paycheck and you got her a job. How has she helped you?" I love Kelly. Kelly explains that Roxy is NOT Glamour and that if she keeps bringing Roxy everywhere, people will start associating her with Whitney's line. Kelly tells Whitney to do whatever she wants. As she's leaving she says "Oh, and on the Roxy thing, I've never been wrong." HA!
ELLE MAGAZINE
Joe Zee is rushing out the door, but stops by Olivia's cubicle to ask her if she's free tomorrow night. Eric Damon, the costume designer for Gossip Girl (!!!) is having a big party because he has a book coming out. So Joe asks Olivia to come with him. As an afterthought, he extends the invite to Erin, but she tells him she's meeting with Page Six tomorrow night.
GLAMOUR MAGAZINE
Whitney shows up to meet with Madeline Escudero (Market Editor), Sasha Iglehart (Deputy Fashion Director) and Maria Duenas (Accessories Editor). Sasha shows her what her page will look like. Maria asks Whitney if the designs are all hers or if she collaborates with someone else. Whitney says that they are all her own designs and then brings up Roxy. WHY??? They, of course, assume she's her partner. Whitney says that she's not her partner, but she's supported her throughout the process. Why wouldn't Whitney says she's with her PR Firm??? Dumb. Anyhow, they tell her that she's welcome to bring Roxy to the layout. UGH.
ERIC DAMON PARTY
Joe, Olivia and Seth (Robbie's asst) are enjoying the party. All the Gossip Girl stars are there. I would LOVE to be there. So awesome. Joe comments that Erin is missing a fun night. Cut to ...
ERIN
Erin is having drinks with Neel Shah, a writer for Page Six. He asks about the addition of Alexis to Elle and Erin calls her "Elle's new Belle." Then Neel asks about the Elle gossip so Erin tells him about Olivia and the Whitney debacle. Neel thinks that would be a great story. HAHA. Erin just doesn't care anymore.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Seth comes up to Olivia and Erin and chats about the event. Olivia excuses herself and Seth is amazed that Olivia knows so many famous people. Erin says that she probably goes to a lot of parties. Seth doesn't understand how Olivia could party with the rich and famous and then come to Elle and do a job. Erin says that she doesn't care what Olivia does on her own time as long as she gets her job done. Seth asks if she's getting her job done, though. Erin doesn't really answer. HA.
Olivia walks into Joe's office and give him the accessories pages for the next issue. He's overly impressed. Joe tells Olivia that he's hosting a party at Bergdorf Goodman with Linda Fargo (Bergdorf) for Elie Tahari. Olivia says she'd love to attend and Joe reminds her to wear Elie Tahari to the party.
WHITNEY
Roxy and Whitney grab some lunch and Whitney tells Roxy that Samantha invited her to the Elie Tahari party. She tells Roxy that Kelly was not supportive of her decision to bring Roxy to Glamour. But Whitney is going to bring Roxy anyway. Bad move.
ELIE TAHARI PARTY
Whitney wants to talk to Linda Fargo and Genni Hershey-Lambert from Bergdorf who she met in the beginning of the season when she showed them her pieces. That meeting didn't go so well, so Whitney would like to talk to them to make a new impression. Alexis is talking to Neel Shah from Page Six, Joe and Olivia are talking to Elie and Linda. Ginny comes up to Whitney and they talk about her line. It's all going well. Neel comes up to Joe and Olivia and asks Olivia how things are going with Erin. Olivia avoids the question and Joe saves her with talk of Alexis. Neel has gotten all he needs and will write his story ... but what will it be about??
GLAMOUR
Whitney is putting together a look for Glamour with Maria and Madeline. She's having trouble with the accessories and wonders where Roxy is. Roxy finally shows up ... late ... and doesn't have much positive stuff to contribute. She thinks the looks that Whitney is putting together are too "girly" and "boring" - um, has she seen Glamour? It's not exactly The Guardian. She pulls out some random stuff and Sasha comes in to check out the looks. Whitney has a few looks. The first is her look - girly and whimsical. The second look is the one Roxy worked on. Roxy tells Sasha her unsolicited opinion on the look she picked out and calls it "hooker, but in a good way." This scene was so hard to watch. I was embarrassed for Roxy and for Whitney. I just wanted it to stop. I actually paused it a few times because Roxy just blew it.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Joe calls a fashion meeting and Alexis, Erin and Olivia are all there. He talks about the busy week and all the events. THEN, he pulls out a copy of Page Six and says that Elle got a shout out. The article leads with Elle's new belle, Alexis Bryan Morgan!! Joe give props to Erin for getting that mention in Page Six!! WOOT!
PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION
Kelly calls Roxy and Whitney into her office to go over the Glamour shoot. Kelly talked to Sasha and they chose the polka-dot skirt look that Whitney worked on...the "girly" look. Whitney says she loved that look, but her favorite was a ballerina skirt look. Kelly interrupts and asks if it was, by chance, called the "hooker ballerina look" because she heard that Whitney took an assistant which she is assuming was Roxy. HAHA. Kelly tells Roxy that if she was there as an assistant it's just not appropriate for her to say things like that. Particularly at such a girly magazine!!
Kelly: "This town is made up of freaks and followers. And I'm totally a freak. So, you wanna be a freak? That's great, but you pay the price. Good luck."
She dismisses Roxy and finishes up with Whitney. Kelly tells Whitney that she's never wrong about Roxy. And they've established today that Roxy is a freak so Whitney can't take her to non-freaky places. Done and done.
Whitney walks out to talk to Roxy and says that she thought Roxy overstepped a little. Roxy replies that she doesn't feel like she has to apologize and pretend that's not who she is. Whitney is a little stunned. Yikes.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Hills, Season 6, Episode 5
"A New Bird"
KRISTIN
Brody and Kristin are having dinner and drinks. Kristin brings up Audrina (again!!) and tells Brody how happy she is with Ryan Cabrera. Brody says that Ryan Cabrera is growing on him and he thinks he's pretty cool for a has-been one-hit wonder. :) Brody wants to make it clear that he and Kristin can date other people because he knows that Kristin is a chick and wants a relationship even though she tells him she LOVES being single. He tells Kristin that he has a date and Kristin pretends to be cool with it. Oh jeez...here we go.
AUDRINA
Ryan Cabrera and Audrina are hanging out at her place. She tells him that her friends are planning night out and she tells him to come and give her friends another chance. Ryan Cabrera doesn't want the "drama" and thinks he's too cool for school and declines the invitation. He tells Audrina he'll be waiting at home in his "candy thong reading 'Catcher in the Rye'." Oh Ryan Cabrera, you are NO Holden Caulfield.
SHE-PRATT/LO
She-Pratt tells Lo that she's ready for a relationship. She says that she's doing the AA thing and feeling good about saying 'Sayonara" to the Pratts, so she's ready now. Lo tells her that her bf, Scott, has a friend, Max, who would be PERFECT. Then She-Pratt backpedals and says that guys are going to think she's weird because she's 23 and SOBER. Lo is awesome and says that any guy who thinks it's "weird" or freaks out because she doesn't drink is NOT the guy for her.
KRISTIN/AUDRINA
The new bff's are drinking screw top white wine and eating popcorn. Of course, the convo turns to Brody. UGH. New material, please, writers. Kristin tells Audrina that they aren't together but they have added benefits to their friend status. Audrina tells her to be careful because Brody is a FLIRT and will make you feel super special one minute and then be with someone else the next minute. Kristin decides that it would be a great idea to call Brody...right now. While she has company. Good idea, Kristin. Brody ignores her call because he is with someone and it's RUDE TO GET ON THE PHONE WHEN YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH SOMEONE. Jeez. Kristin needs some serious cellphone etiquette. Kristin bitches that Brody's phone went straight to voicemail for the THIRD time today. YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND. Why is this so hard to understand?? This is why girls get such a bad rap for being psycho. He could not have been clearer about the fact that he's dating and doesn't want a girlfriend. Ugh.
BRODY
Meanwhile, Brody is on a date with McKaela who spells her name wrong. I hate it when people don't know how to spell their names. It's M-I-C-H-A-E-L-A...or something like that. I don't know, it's not my name. But I DO know that it's certainly not spelled McKaela. Anyhow, she is seriously Lauren Conrad's brunette, brown-eyed doppelganger. She looks like a dark version of LC. Well, Brody certainly has a type. :) Brody tells McKaela that Kristin - his ex girlfriend - was calling him and that they are good friends. McKaela looks skeptical and they toast to meeting new people. Then Brody calls her McKenna. I'm serious. I listened to it several times. Does he really not know her name? They flirt a little more and then take off together to do dirty things, I'm sure.
BRODY
Charlie and Brody are playing some golf and talking about chicks. Brody tells Charlie that he told Kristin about McKaela and she got all quiet. Charlie tells him that the girls are a hard group to infiltrate so he hopes McKaela can handle it. Brody says he's not keeping her away just because the girls are tough on new people. Brody asks why guys can't just hook up with their friends and date other people. Charlie says you can and it's called "casual dating." I agree, Charlie. Unfortunately, it never works. If you're straight with the girl, she'll tell you to your face that she "totally agrees" but then get super jealous and pissed. If you don't have the convo with the girl, you're a douchebag if you date other girls because the assumption is that you're exclusive - even though the girl would never admit that. It's a no-win situation. You just have to be a dick and hook up and not call and jam out of there in the morning.
SHE-PRATT/AUDRINA
It may be time to let She-Pratt be Stephanie. I'm not quite ready to make that leap just yet, but maybe next time. She's certainly improved since past seasons. She and Audrina are having some tea and chit chat. Audrina has convinced Ryan Cabrera to come out tonight with everyone and She-Pratt says she's glad Ryan Cabrera let her come over to visit. I guess Audrina has been spending every waking minute with her new bf and has been MIA. She-Pratt tells her that Lo is setting her up on a date with one of Scott's friends. Even though she went on and on to Lo about how ready she was to date, she tells Audrina that she's totally not ready. She's insecure about being sober at 23 AND about her estrangement with her crazy brother and his plastic wife. Get over it already. I'd be more worried about being a drunk who hangs out with the Pratts. She tells Audrina that Max is a professional lacrosse player with Scott, but she doesn't really know what that is. Oy!
JANE'S HOUSE (club)
The gang shows up at the club and Brody and McKaela are hanging out. The girls are all confused because they thought Brody and Kristin were together. UGH. Now, while I think the girls are being dumb and making way too much of everything, I also think Brody is an instigator. He loves the drama and totally brings it on! He's all over McKaela and holds her hand. Then when Kristin and Stacie the Bartender come in, he makes a LOUD comment to Kristin about not being very sincere when she says hello to McKaela. WTF? I think both were wrong at this outing. Grow up, people. Kristin goes over to the girls and they are all huddled and talking shit about Brody. So, Brody gets up and he and McKaela leave...but not without calling Kristin out for not being nice to McKaela. Awkward. Kristin gets defensive and the scene is just embarrassing to watch.
KRISTIN
Kristin bitches the next day to Stacie the Bartender. Stacie the Bartender actually makes some good points and tells Kristin that she shouldn't be surprised. She knew what she was getting into with Brody. But then she tells Kristin to talk to Brody. Um, what? I don't know about that.
SHE-PRATT/LO
She-Pratt is getting ready for the double date and she has some AMAZING shoes!! I wants her closet. The boys arrive and Lo lets them in. Max is adorable. She-Pratt walks out and has a total short circuit. Scott asks her if she's been to the W in Westwood and she just stares straight ahead. Weird-o. She snaps back and then acts like they are the ones who are being weird. Great first impression, She-Pratt. Can I just comment on the fashion in this scene for a moment? Lo and She-Pratt are dressed like they are about to attend a premiere. They have dresses on and look amazing. Their shoes are at least 4 inches high and their hair and make-up is completely done. Scott, Lo's bf, is wearing a flannel shirt (circa 1992) and jeans. And Max is wearing a T-shirt and a V-neck sweater (not bad) with a HOODIE! I shit you not. WTF? I mean, really? That's the best you could do?
They arrive at their table at the W and everyone orders an adult beverage and She-Pratt orders a Coke and ... wait for it ... nothing happens. No one freaks out or acts weird. I have to admit, even though I love Lo, in this scene, she's annoying. We get it. It's a set up. But you don't have to constantly remind them that you're setting them up. It's just weird. Lo and Scott are staring at Max and She-Pratt and making comments about how perfect they are together. Ew. It's weird. Lo excuses herself to the ladies' room and She-Pratt joins her. She-Pratt says that she likes Max and thinks he's super cute. BUT she wishes he was older. WTF? He's 24 and you are 23, She-Pratt. I'm so glad I didn't switch back to "Stephanie" yet. She's totally being a She-Pratt right now. Lo tells her to get over herself and forget about his stupid age.
After dinner, they walk outside and Max offers She-Pratt his ... HOODIE. Then he asks her if she wants to do this again without Lo and Scott. She says yes and gives him her digits. Cute. :)
KRISTIN
Kristin comes over to Brody's place to bitch at him and flip out. She starts in and Brody says that he's allowed to like whoever he wants and he likes McKaela and he likes Kristin. Kristin tells him that he has to choose because she's not going to wait around forever. Brody and I are both confused and he says that he and Kristin are friends and he thought they had an understanding about dating other people. Yeah, so did I! Kristin tells him to shut up. Nice. Then she says something that I can actually understand. She says dating other people is one thing, but bringing that other person around and totally being all over that person in front of her is another story. It's rude and disrespectful. I agree with that. The problem is that it's going to get worse because Kristin is NOT ok with Brody dating other people but she wants to save face and won't admit that. Even though it's totally obvious. Brody just needs to remove the "benefits" and just stick to being friends with Kristin.
Kristin says she's sorry for not being nice to Brody's "new little girlfriend" and then they start talking over one another. Kristin is being crazy and defensive and Brody is insisting that McKaela is not his girlfriend. Kristin totally freaks out, yells at Brody and then storms out of his condo. Jeez. Crazy.
Brody: "We're friends, Kristin. Remember that."
Kristin: "Shut up." SLAM.
HAHAHA. See you next week.
KRISTIN
Brody and Kristin are having dinner and drinks. Kristin brings up Audrina (again!!) and tells Brody how happy she is with Ryan Cabrera. Brody says that Ryan Cabrera is growing on him and he thinks he's pretty cool for a has-been one-hit wonder. :) Brody wants to make it clear that he and Kristin can date other people because he knows that Kristin is a chick and wants a relationship even though she tells him she LOVES being single. He tells Kristin that he has a date and Kristin pretends to be cool with it. Oh jeez...here we go.
AUDRINA
Ryan Cabrera and Audrina are hanging out at her place. She tells him that her friends are planning night out and she tells him to come and give her friends another chance. Ryan Cabrera doesn't want the "drama" and thinks he's too cool for school and declines the invitation. He tells Audrina he'll be waiting at home in his "candy thong reading 'Catcher in the Rye'." Oh Ryan Cabrera, you are NO Holden Caulfield.
SHE-PRATT/LO
She-Pratt tells Lo that she's ready for a relationship. She says that she's doing the AA thing and feeling good about saying 'Sayonara" to the Pratts, so she's ready now. Lo tells her that her bf, Scott, has a friend, Max, who would be PERFECT. Then She-Pratt backpedals and says that guys are going to think she's weird because she's 23 and SOBER. Lo is awesome and says that any guy who thinks it's "weird" or freaks out because she doesn't drink is NOT the guy for her.
KRISTIN/AUDRINA
The new bff's are drinking screw top white wine and eating popcorn. Of course, the convo turns to Brody. UGH. New material, please, writers. Kristin tells Audrina that they aren't together but they have added benefits to their friend status. Audrina tells her to be careful because Brody is a FLIRT and will make you feel super special one minute and then be with someone else the next minute. Kristin decides that it would be a great idea to call Brody...right now. While she has company. Good idea, Kristin. Brody ignores her call because he is with someone and it's RUDE TO GET ON THE PHONE WHEN YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH SOMEONE. Jeez. Kristin needs some serious cellphone etiquette. Kristin bitches that Brody's phone went straight to voicemail for the THIRD time today. YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND. Why is this so hard to understand?? This is why girls get such a bad rap for being psycho. He could not have been clearer about the fact that he's dating and doesn't want a girlfriend. Ugh.
BRODY
Meanwhile, Brody is on a date with McKaela who spells her name wrong. I hate it when people don't know how to spell their names. It's M-I-C-H-A-E-L-A...or something like that. I don't know, it's not my name. But I DO know that it's certainly not spelled McKaela. Anyhow, she is seriously Lauren Conrad's brunette, brown-eyed doppelganger. She looks like a dark version of LC. Well, Brody certainly has a type. :) Brody tells McKaela that Kristin - his ex girlfriend - was calling him and that they are good friends. McKaela looks skeptical and they toast to meeting new people. Then Brody calls her McKenna. I'm serious. I listened to it several times. Does he really not know her name? They flirt a little more and then take off together to do dirty things, I'm sure.
BRODY
Charlie and Brody are playing some golf and talking about chicks. Brody tells Charlie that he told Kristin about McKaela and she got all quiet. Charlie tells him that the girls are a hard group to infiltrate so he hopes McKaela can handle it. Brody says he's not keeping her away just because the girls are tough on new people. Brody asks why guys can't just hook up with their friends and date other people. Charlie says you can and it's called "casual dating." I agree, Charlie. Unfortunately, it never works. If you're straight with the girl, she'll tell you to your face that she "totally agrees" but then get super jealous and pissed. If you don't have the convo with the girl, you're a douchebag if you date other girls because the assumption is that you're exclusive - even though the girl would never admit that. It's a no-win situation. You just have to be a dick and hook up and not call and jam out of there in the morning.
SHE-PRATT/AUDRINA
It may be time to let She-Pratt be Stephanie. I'm not quite ready to make that leap just yet, but maybe next time. She's certainly improved since past seasons. She and Audrina are having some tea and chit chat. Audrina has convinced Ryan Cabrera to come out tonight with everyone and She-Pratt says she's glad Ryan Cabrera let her come over to visit. I guess Audrina has been spending every waking minute with her new bf and has been MIA. She-Pratt tells her that Lo is setting her up on a date with one of Scott's friends. Even though she went on and on to Lo about how ready she was to date, she tells Audrina that she's totally not ready. She's insecure about being sober at 23 AND about her estrangement with her crazy brother and his plastic wife. Get over it already. I'd be more worried about being a drunk who hangs out with the Pratts. She tells Audrina that Max is a professional lacrosse player with Scott, but she doesn't really know what that is. Oy!
JANE'S HOUSE (club)
The gang shows up at the club and Brody and McKaela are hanging out. The girls are all confused because they thought Brody and Kristin were together. UGH. Now, while I think the girls are being dumb and making way too much of everything, I also think Brody is an instigator. He loves the drama and totally brings it on! He's all over McKaela and holds her hand. Then when Kristin and Stacie the Bartender come in, he makes a LOUD comment to Kristin about not being very sincere when she says hello to McKaela. WTF? I think both were wrong at this outing. Grow up, people. Kristin goes over to the girls and they are all huddled and talking shit about Brody. So, Brody gets up and he and McKaela leave...but not without calling Kristin out for not being nice to McKaela. Awkward. Kristin gets defensive and the scene is just embarrassing to watch.
KRISTIN
Kristin bitches the next day to Stacie the Bartender. Stacie the Bartender actually makes some good points and tells Kristin that she shouldn't be surprised. She knew what she was getting into with Brody. But then she tells Kristin to talk to Brody. Um, what? I don't know about that.
SHE-PRATT/LO
She-Pratt is getting ready for the double date and she has some AMAZING shoes!! I wants her closet. The boys arrive and Lo lets them in. Max is adorable. She-Pratt walks out and has a total short circuit. Scott asks her if she's been to the W in Westwood and she just stares straight ahead. Weird-o. She snaps back and then acts like they are the ones who are being weird. Great first impression, She-Pratt. Can I just comment on the fashion in this scene for a moment? Lo and She-Pratt are dressed like they are about to attend a premiere. They have dresses on and look amazing. Their shoes are at least 4 inches high and their hair and make-up is completely done. Scott, Lo's bf, is wearing a flannel shirt (circa 1992) and jeans. And Max is wearing a T-shirt and a V-neck sweater (not bad) with a HOODIE! I shit you not. WTF? I mean, really? That's the best you could do?
They arrive at their table at the W and everyone orders an adult beverage and She-Pratt orders a Coke and ... wait for it ... nothing happens. No one freaks out or acts weird. I have to admit, even though I love Lo, in this scene, she's annoying. We get it. It's a set up. But you don't have to constantly remind them that you're setting them up. It's just weird. Lo and Scott are staring at Max and She-Pratt and making comments about how perfect they are together. Ew. It's weird. Lo excuses herself to the ladies' room and She-Pratt joins her. She-Pratt says that she likes Max and thinks he's super cute. BUT she wishes he was older. WTF? He's 24 and you are 23, She-Pratt. I'm so glad I didn't switch back to "Stephanie" yet. She's totally being a She-Pratt right now. Lo tells her to get over herself and forget about his stupid age.
After dinner, they walk outside and Max offers She-Pratt his ... HOODIE. Then he asks her if she wants to do this again without Lo and Scott. She says yes and gives him her digits. Cute. :)
KRISTIN
Kristin comes over to Brody's place to bitch at him and flip out. She starts in and Brody says that he's allowed to like whoever he wants and he likes McKaela and he likes Kristin. Kristin tells him that he has to choose because she's not going to wait around forever. Brody and I are both confused and he says that he and Kristin are friends and he thought they had an understanding about dating other people. Yeah, so did I! Kristin tells him to shut up. Nice. Then she says something that I can actually understand. She says dating other people is one thing, but bringing that other person around and totally being all over that person in front of her is another story. It's rude and disrespectful. I agree with that. The problem is that it's going to get worse because Kristin is NOT ok with Brody dating other people but she wants to save face and won't admit that. Even though it's totally obvious. Brody just needs to remove the "benefits" and just stick to being friends with Kristin.
Kristin says she's sorry for not being nice to Brody's "new little girlfriend" and then they start talking over one another. Kristin is being crazy and defensive and Brody is insisting that McKaela is not his girlfriend. Kristin totally freaks out, yells at Brody and then storms out of his condo. Jeez. Crazy.
Brody: "We're friends, Kristin. Remember that."
Kristin: "Shut up." SLAM.
HAHAHA. See you next week.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Real Housewives of New Jersey - Season 2 - Episode 4
"Babies, Bubbles and Bubbies"
TERESA
Teresa wakes her husband up because she is feeling a lot of pressure "down there." So she knows she's in labor and takes about 2 hours to get ready to go to the hospital. She's packing make-up, clothes, jewelry, etc. She's reading email, making french toast for her daughter and calling friends. Seriously the woman has 4 bags. Who is she??
At the hospital, she's applying make-up. She's so late, they gave away her room. Joe tells her he wants 3 more kids. Teresa says that she's done. He can have the next one. HA! She finally gets a room and is horrified by the gown she has to wear. She wants to wear her own.
CAROLINE
Albert tells Christopher that his friend, "the car wash guy" is in town. So he comes up to meet Chris because, as Caroline tells us, they don't have a car wash to put Chris into, so all they can do is hook them up with one of their friends who has one. I don't know why, but Chris just seems so slimy - like a used car salesman.
DANIELLE
Danielle and her daughters are having dinner. Christine is such a smart girl...it's a shame Danielle is her mother. Christine knows that the modeling industry is a tough industry to make it in. Danielle interviews that Christine asked her not to talk about what happened at the fashion show when she almost threw up and fainted. So, of course, Danielle tells us about it again. Christine says that she'll understand if she doesn't make it. She'll know it was because the industry just wasn't ready for her. Jillian says "and you weren't ready for it" and Christine gets annoyed and quiet. Jillian is a smart girl. Danielle is clueless and doesn't understand what just happened.
TERESA
Teresa is in labor and making calls to everyone. She's even got phone calls on the room phone. She asks Joe what he's going to get her for having this kid. She thinks diamonds are appropriate. He says he'll go to Africa to get them and Teresa is surprised that they have diamonds in Africa. Wow. It's like she lives under a rock. She is getting an epidural and she cries a little, then she immediately gets concerned that her make-up is all messed up. OY!
JACQUELINE
Ashley comes over to apologize for freaking out on her mom last time she was over. Jacqueline says that she just worries about Ashley. Jacqueline asks Ashley if she'd be interested in seeing a Life Coach. Ashley thinks it's a dumb idea because she already has a plan. Her plan is to take a year off, then go to junior college in the spring and transfer to a four-year college in the fall. She has no idea what she wants to study or where. But she has a plan, y'all.
CAROLINE
Chris goes to a strip club to meet up with the manager because he really wants to do his strip club/car wash business. The manager tells him that it's not a "strip club", it's a gentleman's club. Oh Lord! He tells Chris to get the "feel" for a gentleman's club. Um, he's not even 21. Albie shows up with his buddy, Frank. Who are these people??
TERESA
She's screaming like a banshee. It's a GIRL!!! Teresa sounds like Fran Dresher. The baby name is Audriana. She's really cute.
JACQUELINE
She and Chris have a glass of wine. She wants to talk about Ashley. She tells him about the Life Coach idea and Chris starts laughing. He says that when he was growing up, it was a beating. Dina interviews that a wooden spoon is a much more effective coach. There's a HUGE safe in the room and she insists on seeing what is inside. It's like an arsenal. INSANE and terrifying.
DANIELLE
Danielle goes to a diner to meet her friend, Kathy. Kathy tells Danielle that the owner of the diner has a baby who has cancer. So he's having a fundraiser for her daughter and wants Danielle to come to support the baby. Danielle says that she will absolutely be at the fundraiser and do whatever she can for the baby. She finds out that the event is at the Brownstone. She "claims" that she doesn't want to go to the Brownstone but she will go there for this baby. (insert eyeroll here).
DINA
Caroline and Jacqueline meet up with Dina because she wants to talk to them. Dina tells them that she needs to talk to Danielle - in person - to tell her that she doesn't want her in her life anymore. Caroline and Jacqueline don't understand why she needs to meet with Danielle to "tell" her this. I agree. I always think it's weird when girls "break up" with their friends. If you don't want to talk to someone or have them in your life anymore, then just stop. That's all you have to do! It's just so dramatic. I think it's unnecessary, but maybe Dina just needs that for closure.
CAROLINE
Chris is working for the day at the family friend's car wash. Rick leaves Chris in charge for the day to see how he does. Chris's first action is to bring in the skanks...er...girls. They put on the T-Shirts and try to bring in business with their daisy dukes and tight shirts. It works!! Caroline stops by to check in on Chris and she is a little concerned about all the girls. She meets "Bianca" outside and then walks inside and meets a "Bianca" look-a-like, "Nicole". Rick shows up at the end of the day and he's in SHOCK! He says he wouldn't have brought in the girls, but he's SO EXCITED by the huge amount of business!! This may not be such a bad idea after all.
DANIELLE
Danielle is at her friend, Danny's house. Danny is an ex-con who is on parole. John is Danny's thug friend and he's there, too. Danielle tells him about her rift with the Manzo's. John and Danny are both ex-felons. Danielle is just creating drama for herself. She asks Danny and John to escort her to the Brownstone event because she's afraid of something going down. Are you kidding? What are they going to do to Danielle at a charity event?? It's so ridiculous. She's so dramatic. They agree and Danielle tells us "When Danny takes my back, people better be listening." Get over yourself! Seriously??
DINA
Dina brings a GINORMOUS teddy bear for baby Audriana. She's super cute. She's got a knit cap with a huge flower on it. Teresa is in leopard print pajamas. Teresa asks Dina to be Audriana's godmother. Dina gets all emotional. It's so sweet.
CAROLINE
Albert tells Caroline that Danielle is coming to the Brownstone for the charity event. Caroline is skeptical about why Danielle is going. I am, too!!
See you next week!
TERESA
Teresa wakes her husband up because she is feeling a lot of pressure "down there." So she knows she's in labor and takes about 2 hours to get ready to go to the hospital. She's packing make-up, clothes, jewelry, etc. She's reading email, making french toast for her daughter and calling friends. Seriously the woman has 4 bags. Who is she??
At the hospital, she's applying make-up. She's so late, they gave away her room. Joe tells her he wants 3 more kids. Teresa says that she's done. He can have the next one. HA! She finally gets a room and is horrified by the gown she has to wear. She wants to wear her own.
CAROLINE
Albert tells Christopher that his friend, "the car wash guy" is in town. So he comes up to meet Chris because, as Caroline tells us, they don't have a car wash to put Chris into, so all they can do is hook them up with one of their friends who has one. I don't know why, but Chris just seems so slimy - like a used car salesman.
DANIELLE
Danielle and her daughters are having dinner. Christine is such a smart girl...it's a shame Danielle is her mother. Christine knows that the modeling industry is a tough industry to make it in. Danielle interviews that Christine asked her not to talk about what happened at the fashion show when she almost threw up and fainted. So, of course, Danielle tells us about it again. Christine says that she'll understand if she doesn't make it. She'll know it was because the industry just wasn't ready for her. Jillian says "and you weren't ready for it" and Christine gets annoyed and quiet. Jillian is a smart girl. Danielle is clueless and doesn't understand what just happened.
TERESA
Teresa is in labor and making calls to everyone. She's even got phone calls on the room phone. She asks Joe what he's going to get her for having this kid. She thinks diamonds are appropriate. He says he'll go to Africa to get them and Teresa is surprised that they have diamonds in Africa. Wow. It's like she lives under a rock. She is getting an epidural and she cries a little, then she immediately gets concerned that her make-up is all messed up. OY!
JACQUELINE
Ashley comes over to apologize for freaking out on her mom last time she was over. Jacqueline says that she just worries about Ashley. Jacqueline asks Ashley if she'd be interested in seeing a Life Coach. Ashley thinks it's a dumb idea because she already has a plan. Her plan is to take a year off, then go to junior college in the spring and transfer to a four-year college in the fall. She has no idea what she wants to study or where. But she has a plan, y'all.
CAROLINE
Chris goes to a strip club to meet up with the manager because he really wants to do his strip club/car wash business. The manager tells him that it's not a "strip club", it's a gentleman's club. Oh Lord! He tells Chris to get the "feel" for a gentleman's club. Um, he's not even 21. Albie shows up with his buddy, Frank. Who are these people??
TERESA
She's screaming like a banshee. It's a GIRL!!! Teresa sounds like Fran Dresher. The baby name is Audriana. She's really cute.
JACQUELINE
She and Chris have a glass of wine. She wants to talk about Ashley. She tells him about the Life Coach idea and Chris starts laughing. He says that when he was growing up, it was a beating. Dina interviews that a wooden spoon is a much more effective coach. There's a HUGE safe in the room and she insists on seeing what is inside. It's like an arsenal. INSANE and terrifying.
DANIELLE
Danielle goes to a diner to meet her friend, Kathy. Kathy tells Danielle that the owner of the diner has a baby who has cancer. So he's having a fundraiser for her daughter and wants Danielle to come to support the baby. Danielle says that she will absolutely be at the fundraiser and do whatever she can for the baby. She finds out that the event is at the Brownstone. She "claims" that she doesn't want to go to the Brownstone but she will go there for this baby. (insert eyeroll here).
DINA
Caroline and Jacqueline meet up with Dina because she wants to talk to them. Dina tells them that she needs to talk to Danielle - in person - to tell her that she doesn't want her in her life anymore. Caroline and Jacqueline don't understand why she needs to meet with Danielle to "tell" her this. I agree. I always think it's weird when girls "break up" with their friends. If you don't want to talk to someone or have them in your life anymore, then just stop. That's all you have to do! It's just so dramatic. I think it's unnecessary, but maybe Dina just needs that for closure.
CAROLINE
Chris is working for the day at the family friend's car wash. Rick leaves Chris in charge for the day to see how he does. Chris's first action is to bring in the skanks...er...girls. They put on the T-Shirts and try to bring in business with their daisy dukes and tight shirts. It works!! Caroline stops by to check in on Chris and she is a little concerned about all the girls. She meets "Bianca" outside and then walks inside and meets a "Bianca" look-a-like, "Nicole". Rick shows up at the end of the day and he's in SHOCK! He says he wouldn't have brought in the girls, but he's SO EXCITED by the huge amount of business!! This may not be such a bad idea after all.
DANIELLE
Danielle is at her friend, Danny's house. Danny is an ex-con who is on parole. John is Danny's thug friend and he's there, too. Danielle tells him about her rift with the Manzo's. John and Danny are both ex-felons. Danielle is just creating drama for herself. She asks Danny and John to escort her to the Brownstone event because she's afraid of something going down. Are you kidding? What are they going to do to Danielle at a charity event?? It's so ridiculous. She's so dramatic. They agree and Danielle tells us "When Danny takes my back, people better be listening." Get over yourself! Seriously??
DINA
Dina brings a GINORMOUS teddy bear for baby Audriana. She's super cute. She's got a knit cap with a huge flower on it. Teresa is in leopard print pajamas. Teresa asks Dina to be Audriana's godmother. Dina gets all emotional. It's so sweet.
CAROLINE
Albert tells Caroline that Danielle is coming to the Brownstone for the charity event. Caroline is skeptical about why Danielle is going. I am, too!!
See you next week!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 12
"Sun, Sand & Psychosis"
RAMONA
The ladies are rehashing the previous night's events on the Hooter's boat. Apparently, Ramona walked up to a Hooter's girl and told her that she needed to go to college. HA! The conversation moves to Bethenny and Kelly's argument and Kelly calls Bethenny a "cook" again and says that she's not a "chef." Bethenny asks Kelly to define a "chef" for her. Kelly says that a chef works in a restaurant or is hired as one - like those on the yacht. Bethenny says that she's been hired as a chef and Kelly says she has no idea what Bethenny does. So Bethenny, rightly so, tells her not to say anything if she doesn't know what the F*** she is talking about! Kelly still keeps talking and Bethenny finally tells her to stop. Everyone at the table sees that Kelly is the one who started the attack and tells her to stop. Kelly doesn't know what's going on (as usual) and Bethenny tells Kelly that no one understands what she's saying. Kelly: "Ok. Satchels of gold." WTF? Just then Alex breaks the awkwardness and tells Bethenny that Simon is making chocolate waffles for the boys and asks Bethenny's advice about adding more cocoa. Kelly mocks "Great timing" and Bethenny gets up and walks over to the couch. She's had it. It's too much stress and drama for her.
Ramona is super excited to show the girls their next stop. They are leaving the yacht and staying in a huge home on the island. It's absolutely breathtaking. The house is amazing.
Bethenny put together "gift bags" for everyone with their initials on the bag and a bunch of beach stuff in it. It was a thoughtful gesture. Of course, Kelly thinks it's creepy and doesn't understand why Bethenny would give her this bag. Kelly bitches that it's impersonal because the bag is a Skinny Girl bag and has some of Bethenny's products in it. Jeez. It's a free gift bag. Just be grateful and STFU! Kelly starts to break down. She cries and calls Jill and tells her it "creeps her out" that Bethenny's dad died and she's on the trip. And, she says that she's been having nightmares that Bethenny is trying to kill her. OMG. DRAMA. Kelly is seriously losing her mind. Wow. Mental break. Even Jill is wondering what is going on because she can't understand Kelly.
The next morning, Bethenny is cooking some breakfast. Kelly comes into the kitchen and brings a pad of paper. She tells them that it's better to write down complaints rather than talk about them. Good Lord. Kelly announces that she wants to take everyone's picture on the beach and do a mini photo shoot. Kelly is into photography now - even though she doesn't know how to use a camera. Bethenny decides to hang back and relax by herself. I'd don't blame her. These bitches are WHACK!
THE PHOTO SHOOT ON THE BEACH
Kelly is taking pictures and she is all about criticizing Alex. Although, in Kelly's defense, Alex does look a little weird. She's so serious. This whole thing is weird. And Kelly yelling "Johann face, Alex. Baby face." was a little much.
JILL
Jill is in a skating dress and she's practicing ice skating with Johnny Weir. One of the coaches starts yelling at Jill because there are professional ice skaters trying to practice and she's got her amateur ass all over the ice. HAHA!!
Jill and Luann have lunch and Jill tells her about Kelly calling her like a crazy woman. They both warned her not to go. Jill says that she would never go somewhere she wasn't welcome. Famous last words. She tells Luann that she found out that the girls are coming back from their trip on Tuesday and she's going to St. Bart's on Monday. So she's thinking of surprising Ramona on Monday before heading to St. Bart's. Luann thinks it's a bad idea since they aren't expecting her. Jill isn't hearing it and decides to go for it. BAD IDEA. Luann says she won't go rescue Jill if she needs it! :)
BETHENNY
Bethenny's gift to Ramona is a dinner for everyone. She's busy cooking in the kitchen while the ladies are outside enjoying cocktails. Kelly gets a call from her daughters and is yapping in front of everyone. Ramona asks her to talk in the house and move away from the group. Kelly takes it as an attack on her daughters and goes batshit again. Wow.
They have cocktails and appetizers. Bethenny goes into the kitchen to prepare the food and tells her staff that it's more fun in the kitchen that out there with Krazy! Krazy says she doesn't want to sit across from Bethenny and she overhears and tells Krazy that she doesn't need to do anything she doesn't want to do. Sonja tells Krazy not to be paranoid.
Bethenny brings out salad with crabcakes. Of course, Krazy doesn't like the crabcakes and says that Bethenny's food is not really that good. BUT she likes the salad dressing and tells us that Bethenny could be like Paul Newman and make dressing. OY VEY! Ramona doesn't want Bethenny to know that someone didn't eat her food, so Sonja eats Krazy's crabcake. Steak comes out next and Kelly's has a string in it. So, Bethenny takes it back to the kitchen and gets her another piece of steak. They sit and eat and Sonja compliments Bethenny on the 5 star meal. She says that she knows food because she used to have a 5 star chef on her boat. Krazy leans over and says "we know about your past." WTF?? Krazy took some serious crazy pills before dinner. She is on fire.
Ramona comments that she hasn't heard from Jill this whole trip and Krazy says that all Jill has asked about is Bethenny. Krazy just keeps going and lashing out at everyone. They all get quiet and Ramona says that she and Bethenny had an altercation on the Brooklyn Bridge and she wants to talk to Bethenny about it. Krazy can't keep her trap shut, so she asks if Ramona is going to "make out with tongue" with Bethenny. Seriously, WTF?? Ramona gives Krazy a time out and tells her to shut up. Krazy just keeps saying "You made Bethenny cry" over and over. Ramona takes Bethenny inside and Krazy says "Yeah, you guys go have an intimate moment." She and Spencer Pratt need their own show.
Bethenny feels vindicated for everything she's ever said about Krazy. Sonja and Alex are trying to calm Krazy down and she's just not getting it. They explain that Ramona and Bethenny are just talking about their issues and feelings and Krazy rolls her eyes and says that this is "too 1979" for her because they are talking about feelings again. Krazy tells Alex that she needs to relax more and Alex admits that she was nervous about getting in front of the camera for Krazy earlier that afternoon. Krazy laughs and says that Alex is having nightmares about her while she's having nightmares about Bethenny. Alex tells her to take it down a notch with the drama and that she was NOT having "nightmares" about anyone. She was just a little nervous. OMG. Krazy really goes nuts here and says that she threw up the night before she came because she's been having nightmares about Bethenny killing her because she's tried to kill Krazy so many times before. WTF?? I wish there was something bigger than "all caps" to stress how FUCKING BIZARRE this whole thing is. Alex asks when these attempted murders occurred and Krazy does the sign of the cross and starts to cry a little. OMG. She and Spencer Pratt need straight jackets and FAST!
Bethenny comes back and sits down and asks what's going on and Sonja says that it's hard to follow the conversation and points at Krazy. Krazy says that Alex is possessed and gives the example from Ramona's party when she delivered her "message" to Jill. Then she tells Alex to "zip it" which she's been saying to people all night. So Bethenny gives Krazy her full attention and she describes the situation that night while Ramona stands behind her gesturing at how loco Krazy is. Alex, Bethenny and Ramona go inside and Sonja is upset that she got left outside to deal with Krazy.
Sonja was trying to talk sense into Krazy. It's no use. Krazy goes on a tirade to Sonja about how Bethenny allegedly goes after her EVERY DAY in the press and tries to defame her and her kids. Ok, I read A LOT of celebrity gossip on a daily basis. Just to give you a small indication, after I check my email in the morning, I read perezhilton.com, people.com, eonline.com, thesuperficial.com, gawker.com, and ew.com (entertainment weekly).... to name a few. I also check these sites periodically throughout the day. I have not read things about Kelly on a daily basis and I've never read anything about her children. She's delusional...no one cares about you Krazy!!
Krazy asks Sonja how she can just sit there with Bethenny after she called Sonja a hooker (it was a joke. Sonja said she used to work in a restaurant and Bethenny asked if she was a hooker). Sonja tries to explain to Krazy what a joke is, but Krazy can't follow. The others walk back out to join the lunacy.
Bethenny tells Krazy that she wants to hear the truth from her. Then she mocks "you can't handle the truth" and Krazy doesn't get the reference. Krazy: "Oh my god. AL SHARPTON. AL SHARPTON!!! Put your hair up!! It's Al Sharpton!" No you dingbat - it's Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men. Who doesn't know that? And what the hell is up with Al Sharpton??? WTF? Now the other girls are getting concerned. It's no longer a joke that Kelly is crazy. They seriously think that she's having some sort of breakdown and that there is something really wrong with her. She's not making any sense and the mood turns from "OMG, she's crazy" to "ok, she's really losing it and I'm worried." Kelly excuses herself from the table. On her way out, she asks why Bethenny attacked her friend, Gwyneth, in the paper. You know, her "friend," Gwyneth Paltrow?? Wow. DELUSIONAL and PARANOID. If I cared, I'd try to diagnose her but I'm content to just call her Krazy for now.
Two minutes later, Krazy walks back out asking if anyone wants a jelly bean or lollipop. Bethenny tells Krazy that they are all worried about her because she's crazy. Krazy just responds that she doesn't like Bethenny and that she thinks it's creepy that Bethenny's dad died and she's on the trip. Kelly tells Bethenny that she threw up because she thinks Bethenny is trying to kill her. So Bethenny yells at her to go to sleep because she's CRAZY. Sonja tells Bethenny not to be mean to her because she actually is crazy and they have to stop picking on her. The situation turns sad and Alex says that they all have to stop because there's a real problem. Everyone backs off. Bethenny actually does a good job of diffusing the situation. She tells Krazy that she doesn't want to ruin her life or talk about her in the press and she's not attacking her. Kelly says thank you and seems to relax for the night. HOLY KRAZY LADY!!!
See you next week.
RAMONA
The ladies are rehashing the previous night's events on the Hooter's boat. Apparently, Ramona walked up to a Hooter's girl and told her that she needed to go to college. HA! The conversation moves to Bethenny and Kelly's argument and Kelly calls Bethenny a "cook" again and says that she's not a "chef." Bethenny asks Kelly to define a "chef" for her. Kelly says that a chef works in a restaurant or is hired as one - like those on the yacht. Bethenny says that she's been hired as a chef and Kelly says she has no idea what Bethenny does. So Bethenny, rightly so, tells her not to say anything if she doesn't know what the F*** she is talking about! Kelly still keeps talking and Bethenny finally tells her to stop. Everyone at the table sees that Kelly is the one who started the attack and tells her to stop. Kelly doesn't know what's going on (as usual) and Bethenny tells Kelly that no one understands what she's saying. Kelly: "Ok. Satchels of gold." WTF? Just then Alex breaks the awkwardness and tells Bethenny that Simon is making chocolate waffles for the boys and asks Bethenny's advice about adding more cocoa. Kelly mocks "Great timing" and Bethenny gets up and walks over to the couch. She's had it. It's too much stress and drama for her.
Ramona is super excited to show the girls their next stop. They are leaving the yacht and staying in a huge home on the island. It's absolutely breathtaking. The house is amazing.
Bethenny put together "gift bags" for everyone with their initials on the bag and a bunch of beach stuff in it. It was a thoughtful gesture. Of course, Kelly thinks it's creepy and doesn't understand why Bethenny would give her this bag. Kelly bitches that it's impersonal because the bag is a Skinny Girl bag and has some of Bethenny's products in it. Jeez. It's a free gift bag. Just be grateful and STFU! Kelly starts to break down. She cries and calls Jill and tells her it "creeps her out" that Bethenny's dad died and she's on the trip. And, she says that she's been having nightmares that Bethenny is trying to kill her. OMG. DRAMA. Kelly is seriously losing her mind. Wow. Mental break. Even Jill is wondering what is going on because she can't understand Kelly.
The next morning, Bethenny is cooking some breakfast. Kelly comes into the kitchen and brings a pad of paper. She tells them that it's better to write down complaints rather than talk about them. Good Lord. Kelly announces that she wants to take everyone's picture on the beach and do a mini photo shoot. Kelly is into photography now - even though she doesn't know how to use a camera. Bethenny decides to hang back and relax by herself. I'd don't blame her. These bitches are WHACK!
THE PHOTO SHOOT ON THE BEACH
Kelly is taking pictures and she is all about criticizing Alex. Although, in Kelly's defense, Alex does look a little weird. She's so serious. This whole thing is weird. And Kelly yelling "Johann face, Alex. Baby face." was a little much.
JILL
Jill is in a skating dress and she's practicing ice skating with Johnny Weir. One of the coaches starts yelling at Jill because there are professional ice skaters trying to practice and she's got her amateur ass all over the ice. HAHA!!
Jill and Luann have lunch and Jill tells her about Kelly calling her like a crazy woman. They both warned her not to go. Jill says that she would never go somewhere she wasn't welcome. Famous last words. She tells Luann that she found out that the girls are coming back from their trip on Tuesday and she's going to St. Bart's on Monday. So she's thinking of surprising Ramona on Monday before heading to St. Bart's. Luann thinks it's a bad idea since they aren't expecting her. Jill isn't hearing it and decides to go for it. BAD IDEA. Luann says she won't go rescue Jill if she needs it! :)
BETHENNY
Bethenny's gift to Ramona is a dinner for everyone. She's busy cooking in the kitchen while the ladies are outside enjoying cocktails. Kelly gets a call from her daughters and is yapping in front of everyone. Ramona asks her to talk in the house and move away from the group. Kelly takes it as an attack on her daughters and goes batshit again. Wow.
They have cocktails and appetizers. Bethenny goes into the kitchen to prepare the food and tells her staff that it's more fun in the kitchen that out there with Krazy! Krazy says she doesn't want to sit across from Bethenny and she overhears and tells Krazy that she doesn't need to do anything she doesn't want to do. Sonja tells Krazy not to be paranoid.
Bethenny brings out salad with crabcakes. Of course, Krazy doesn't like the crabcakes and says that Bethenny's food is not really that good. BUT she likes the salad dressing and tells us that Bethenny could be like Paul Newman and make dressing. OY VEY! Ramona doesn't want Bethenny to know that someone didn't eat her food, so Sonja eats Krazy's crabcake. Steak comes out next and Kelly's has a string in it. So, Bethenny takes it back to the kitchen and gets her another piece of steak. They sit and eat and Sonja compliments Bethenny on the 5 star meal. She says that she knows food because she used to have a 5 star chef on her boat. Krazy leans over and says "we know about your past." WTF?? Krazy took some serious crazy pills before dinner. She is on fire.
Ramona comments that she hasn't heard from Jill this whole trip and Krazy says that all Jill has asked about is Bethenny. Krazy just keeps going and lashing out at everyone. They all get quiet and Ramona says that she and Bethenny had an altercation on the Brooklyn Bridge and she wants to talk to Bethenny about it. Krazy can't keep her trap shut, so she asks if Ramona is going to "make out with tongue" with Bethenny. Seriously, WTF?? Ramona gives Krazy a time out and tells her to shut up. Krazy just keeps saying "You made Bethenny cry" over and over. Ramona takes Bethenny inside and Krazy says "Yeah, you guys go have an intimate moment." She and Spencer Pratt need their own show.
Bethenny feels vindicated for everything she's ever said about Krazy. Sonja and Alex are trying to calm Krazy down and she's just not getting it. They explain that Ramona and Bethenny are just talking about their issues and feelings and Krazy rolls her eyes and says that this is "too 1979" for her because they are talking about feelings again. Krazy tells Alex that she needs to relax more and Alex admits that she was nervous about getting in front of the camera for Krazy earlier that afternoon. Krazy laughs and says that Alex is having nightmares about her while she's having nightmares about Bethenny. Alex tells her to take it down a notch with the drama and that she was NOT having "nightmares" about anyone. She was just a little nervous. OMG. Krazy really goes nuts here and says that she threw up the night before she came because she's been having nightmares about Bethenny killing her because she's tried to kill Krazy so many times before. WTF?? I wish there was something bigger than "all caps" to stress how FUCKING BIZARRE this whole thing is. Alex asks when these attempted murders occurred and Krazy does the sign of the cross and starts to cry a little. OMG. She and Spencer Pratt need straight jackets and FAST!
Bethenny comes back and sits down and asks what's going on and Sonja says that it's hard to follow the conversation and points at Krazy. Krazy says that Alex is possessed and gives the example from Ramona's party when she delivered her "message" to Jill. Then she tells Alex to "zip it" which she's been saying to people all night. So Bethenny gives Krazy her full attention and she describes the situation that night while Ramona stands behind her gesturing at how loco Krazy is. Alex, Bethenny and Ramona go inside and Sonja is upset that she got left outside to deal with Krazy.
Sonja was trying to talk sense into Krazy. It's no use. Krazy goes on a tirade to Sonja about how Bethenny allegedly goes after her EVERY DAY in the press and tries to defame her and her kids. Ok, I read A LOT of celebrity gossip on a daily basis. Just to give you a small indication, after I check my email in the morning, I read perezhilton.com, people.com, eonline.com, thesuperficial.com, gawker.com, and ew.com (entertainment weekly).... to name a few. I also check these sites periodically throughout the day. I have not read things about Kelly on a daily basis and I've never read anything about her children. She's delusional...no one cares about you Krazy!!
Krazy asks Sonja how she can just sit there with Bethenny after she called Sonja a hooker (it was a joke. Sonja said she used to work in a restaurant and Bethenny asked if she was a hooker). Sonja tries to explain to Krazy what a joke is, but Krazy can't follow. The others walk back out to join the lunacy.
Bethenny tells Krazy that she wants to hear the truth from her. Then she mocks "you can't handle the truth" and Krazy doesn't get the reference. Krazy: "Oh my god. AL SHARPTON. AL SHARPTON!!! Put your hair up!! It's Al Sharpton!" No you dingbat - it's Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men. Who doesn't know that? And what the hell is up with Al Sharpton??? WTF? Now the other girls are getting concerned. It's no longer a joke that Kelly is crazy. They seriously think that she's having some sort of breakdown and that there is something really wrong with her. She's not making any sense and the mood turns from "OMG, she's crazy" to "ok, she's really losing it and I'm worried." Kelly excuses herself from the table. On her way out, she asks why Bethenny attacked her friend, Gwyneth, in the paper. You know, her "friend," Gwyneth Paltrow?? Wow. DELUSIONAL and PARANOID. If I cared, I'd try to diagnose her but I'm content to just call her Krazy for now.
Two minutes later, Krazy walks back out asking if anyone wants a jelly bean or lollipop. Bethenny tells Krazy that they are all worried about her because she's crazy. Krazy just responds that she doesn't like Bethenny and that she thinks it's creepy that Bethenny's dad died and she's on the trip. Kelly tells Bethenny that she threw up because she thinks Bethenny is trying to kill her. So Bethenny yells at her to go to sleep because she's CRAZY. Sonja tells Bethenny not to be mean to her because she actually is crazy and they have to stop picking on her. The situation turns sad and Alex says that they all have to stop because there's a real problem. Everyone backs off. Bethenny actually does a good job of diffusing the situation. She tells Krazy that she doesn't want to ruin her life or talk about her in the press and she's not attacking her. Kelly says thank you and seems to relax for the night. HOLY KRAZY LADY!!!
See you next week.
The Hills, Season 6, Episode 4
"This is Goodbye"
SHE-PRATT/HOLLY
The sisters-in-law commiserate about Real Doll and Sponge Bob. She-Pratt says that they have completely isolated themselves and have no friends and no family. Holly just misses her sister. :(
REAL DOLL
Kristin and Real Doll meet for lunch. Real Doll looks like a porn star, which I'm guessing is the point. Kristin tells Real Doll that Sponge Bob has lost his mind and that he's scary. Kristin doesn't sugar coat it. No bullshit. But Real Doll defends her choice to stay with him because he's all she's got left. She's completely isolated herself from her friends and family. She even says "Who am I without Spencer?" Sad.
AUDRINA
Audrina visits Ryan Cabrera at the recording studio so that we remember that he used to be a singer. She tells him that she and her new bff, Kristin, want to set up a party with everyone at Wonderland. Ryan Cabrera thinks that won't be so fun for him and decides to pass. Loser.
WONDERLAND
Brody and his boys are there with Kristin, She-Pratt and Audrina. Brody pulls Audrina aside to chat about stuff. She cuts him off and tells him that she just repaired her friendship with Kristin and doesn't want to ruin that AND she has a boyfriend. Brody is disappointed and Kristin stares at them with a pathetic scared look. Don't worry, Kristin. Audrina just blew him off, so you can be Brody's sloppy seconds now. Sponge Bob and Charlie show up and shock everyone! Kristin tries to say hello, but Sponge Bob just ignores her.
Brody talks to Sponge Bob and tells him that he misses hanging out with him. He tells Sponge Bob to come hang with the boys more often. Brody tells him that he can tell Sponge Bob isn't happy in his life right now. The whole time, Sponge Bob is on the verge of tears. I swear Sponge Bob is on some serious drugs. He is not normal. Brody calls Audrina over to him and Sponge Bob and she walks over and asks Sponge Bob where Real Doll is. Sponge Bob: "You are the lamest f-ing girl in this club right now." WTF? Audrina just walks away. He has seriously lost it.
Brody gets in Sponge Bob's face and tells him he's crazy. Sponge Bob has tears rolling down his face and tells Brody to walk away. Then he announces that people don't know how dangerous he is. LOCO!
SHE-PRATT/AUDRINA
Audrina says that Real Doll called her and Kristin and wants to meet them for lunch because she needs to talk to someone. They both discuss how awful Sponge Bob look and how angry he has gotten. Audrina says that something is very wrong and hopefully, Real Doll will talk to her about it at lunch.
KRISTIN/AUDRINA
They meet up and talk about Sponge Bob going nuts on everyone at Wonderland. Kristin says that he's just so extreme lately and that he's gone off the deep end. She also tells Audrina that she met with Real Doll recently and she's off in Spencerland.
Real Doll walks in and Audrina immediately brings up Wonderland and says that Sponge Bob owes her an apology. Real Doll defends him repeatedly while Kristin and Audrina bring up more examples of his craziness. Then Real Doll says "all guys are a little controlling and you if don't think that, you're wrong." Um, that is SO not true. In fact, I know many women who are the ones in control in their relationships. Real Doll goes on to say that they don't know her and Sponge Bob didn't change her, she changed herself. She says that she doesn't have time or energy and that's why she's cut people off. Eek.
VOYEUR
The gang is partying it up. Lo and Stacie the Bartender are with the group this time. AND...wait for it ... the Pratts walk in!! They ignore everyone and sit down. Kristin sits with Real Doll and Real Doll is showing her the "genius" crystal which opens your mind and makes you smart. Clearly that one isn't working. Everyone comments how strange and creepy Real Doll and Sponge Bob are. Sponge Bob tells Kristin that he doesn't let Real Doll watch TV or go on the Internet or read magazines. She can only read books. Real Doll needs a serious intervention ... wait, I don't really care about Real Doll. Nevermind, let them be crazy and alone. Kristin and Brody have enough and leave.
KRISTIN
Brody and Kristin obviously slept together and she's in her kitchen making them coffee. Brody walks out in one of her T-shirts. They discuss how drunk they both were and then go back to bed. Nice.
LATER THAT AFTERNOON AT KRISTIN'S
Audrina, Kristin, Lo, She-Pratt and Holly all get together and talk about what to do about the Pratts. She-Pratt gets defensive and thinks Real Doll is manipulative and Holly feels defensive
and thinks Sponge Bob is the controlling one. Bottom line - neither of them is the victim. They are both insane. Everyone agrees that they have no one but themselves anymore. She-Pratt starts and says that she's cutting them out of her life. Kristin and Audrina feel they've done all they can and they are cutting the Pratts out, too. Lo concurs. They all look at Holly and she starts crying because Real Doll is her baby sister and she was there when Real Doll was born. It's the greatest loss for her. She-Pratt and Sponge Bob never really got along and he's always kind of been a jerk to her. The other three are just friends. But Holly is losing her only sister and her best friend. It's incredibly sad.
See you next time.
SHE-PRATT/HOLLY
The sisters-in-law commiserate about Real Doll and Sponge Bob. She-Pratt says that they have completely isolated themselves and have no friends and no family. Holly just misses her sister. :(
REAL DOLL
Kristin and Real Doll meet for lunch. Real Doll looks like a porn star, which I'm guessing is the point. Kristin tells Real Doll that Sponge Bob has lost his mind and that he's scary. Kristin doesn't sugar coat it. No bullshit. But Real Doll defends her choice to stay with him because he's all she's got left. She's completely isolated herself from her friends and family. She even says "Who am I without Spencer?" Sad.
AUDRINA
Audrina visits Ryan Cabrera at the recording studio so that we remember that he used to be a singer. She tells him that she and her new bff, Kristin, want to set up a party with everyone at Wonderland. Ryan Cabrera thinks that won't be so fun for him and decides to pass. Loser.
WONDERLAND
Brody and his boys are there with Kristin, She-Pratt and Audrina. Brody pulls Audrina aside to chat about stuff. She cuts him off and tells him that she just repaired her friendship with Kristin and doesn't want to ruin that AND she has a boyfriend. Brody is disappointed and Kristin stares at them with a pathetic scared look. Don't worry, Kristin. Audrina just blew him off, so you can be Brody's sloppy seconds now. Sponge Bob and Charlie show up and shock everyone! Kristin tries to say hello, but Sponge Bob just ignores her.
Brody talks to Sponge Bob and tells him that he misses hanging out with him. He tells Sponge Bob to come hang with the boys more often. Brody tells him that he can tell Sponge Bob isn't happy in his life right now. The whole time, Sponge Bob is on the verge of tears. I swear Sponge Bob is on some serious drugs. He is not normal. Brody calls Audrina over to him and Sponge Bob and she walks over and asks Sponge Bob where Real Doll is. Sponge Bob: "You are the lamest f-ing girl in this club right now." WTF? Audrina just walks away. He has seriously lost it.
Brody gets in Sponge Bob's face and tells him he's crazy. Sponge Bob has tears rolling down his face and tells Brody to walk away. Then he announces that people don't know how dangerous he is. LOCO!
SHE-PRATT/AUDRINA
Audrina says that Real Doll called her and Kristin and wants to meet them for lunch because she needs to talk to someone. They both discuss how awful Sponge Bob look and how angry he has gotten. Audrina says that something is very wrong and hopefully, Real Doll will talk to her about it at lunch.
KRISTIN/AUDRINA
They meet up and talk about Sponge Bob going nuts on everyone at Wonderland. Kristin says that he's just so extreme lately and that he's gone off the deep end. She also tells Audrina that she met with Real Doll recently and she's off in Spencerland.
Real Doll walks in and Audrina immediately brings up Wonderland and says that Sponge Bob owes her an apology. Real Doll defends him repeatedly while Kristin and Audrina bring up more examples of his craziness. Then Real Doll says "all guys are a little controlling and you if don't think that, you're wrong." Um, that is SO not true. In fact, I know many women who are the ones in control in their relationships. Real Doll goes on to say that they don't know her and Sponge Bob didn't change her, she changed herself. She says that she doesn't have time or energy and that's why she's cut people off. Eek.
VOYEUR
The gang is partying it up. Lo and Stacie the Bartender are with the group this time. AND...wait for it ... the Pratts walk in!! They ignore everyone and sit down. Kristin sits with Real Doll and Real Doll is showing her the "genius" crystal which opens your mind and makes you smart. Clearly that one isn't working. Everyone comments how strange and creepy Real Doll and Sponge Bob are. Sponge Bob tells Kristin that he doesn't let Real Doll watch TV or go on the Internet or read magazines. She can only read books. Real Doll needs a serious intervention ... wait, I don't really care about Real Doll. Nevermind, let them be crazy and alone. Kristin and Brody have enough and leave.
KRISTIN
Brody and Kristin obviously slept together and she's in her kitchen making them coffee. Brody walks out in one of her T-shirts. They discuss how drunk they both were and then go back to bed. Nice.
LATER THAT AFTERNOON AT KRISTIN'S
Audrina, Kristin, Lo, She-Pratt and Holly all get together and talk about what to do about the Pratts. She-Pratt gets defensive and thinks Real Doll is manipulative and Holly feels defensive
and thinks Sponge Bob is the controlling one. Bottom line - neither of them is the victim. They are both insane. Everyone agrees that they have no one but themselves anymore. She-Pratt starts and says that she's cutting them out of her life. Kristin and Audrina feel they've done all they can and they are cutting the Pratts out, too. Lo concurs. They all look at Holly and she starts crying because Real Doll is her baby sister and she was there when Real Doll was born. It's the greatest loss for her. She-Pratt and Sponge Bob never really got along and he's always kind of been a jerk to her. The other three are just friends. But Holly is losing her only sister and her best friend. It's incredibly sad.
See you next time.
The City, Season 3, Episode 4
"Queen of Diamonds"
ELLE MAGAZINE
Erin, Olivia and a bunch of editors are all talking to Joe Zee about the "Fergie" Cover. Olivia pulls out some great accessories, the team has great looks and everything is good to go! Joe asks Olivia to hang back for a second. He tells her that her work was good this morning, but she needs to be consistent. He tells her he can't bring her to LA and she understands why. HA!
PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION
Roxy and Whitney are looking through magazine for inspiration for Whitney's look book. Whitney says that the French photographer from the Ruelala shoot sent her the pics and then asked her to get a drink or dinner. Kelly walks up and Whit fills her in. Kelly says that everyone should have an affair with a French guy, especially if you're in fashion. "It's a great way to learn the language and a great way to get banged." :)
ELLE
Robbie's assistant comes to Olivia to pick up some accessories for a black tie affair that Robbie is attending. He asks Olivia why she isn't in LA and Olivia lies and says that she had no intention of going to LA because she has "too much work" to do at the office. Yeah right! No, I don't want to meet Fergie. I'd rather stay in my office and work. Stupid.
LA
The Elle team arrives at the L'Ermitage Hotel in LA. Erin meets Joe for coffee in the morning and the conversation turns to Olivia. Joe says she's good at pulling accessories together for a look. Erin says that might be true, but that's not enough. It's a whole job, not just getting a ring for one look. Erin says they now have to worry that she won't even show up. Joe promises that will NEVER happen again. Joe tries to defend Olivia and Erin just says "the bad far outweighs the good." I could not agree more.
WHITNEY'S APARTMENT
Whitney comes out of her room in a white sparkly dress and black leggings. WHAT? Jonathon, her date, shows up on his motorcycle and even brought an extra helmet for Whitney. She's a little freaked out because she's never been on one, but decides to go for it. They sit down and grab drinks and they start talking war photography. Jonathon is a very serious guy. Whitney mentions that she needs a photographer to shoot her look book and Jonathon says he'll do it.
FERGIE ELLE SHOOT
Joe and Erin show Fergie all the looks and she loves them. She tells Joe her favorite piece is a huge dragon ring (that I'm sure Olivia picked out). Erin rolls her eyes. They are watching the shoot and Joe tells Erin that diamonds make the outfit. (Olivia came up with the diamond idea). Erin says that the hot pants make the outfit. Joe says that Olivia can pick out a great piece of jewelry. That's her strength. I'm with Erin...that is NOT enough. Joe and Erin go look at some cover shots. Joe likes the cover with the diamond bracelet, while Erin obviously prefers the other cover. Joe is the boss so he wins!
Erin gets a call from Seth, Robbie's assistant, and he tells her that Olivia has been in the office all day and now she's out to lunch with the new Fashion Director to KISS SOME ASS! Erin is not pleased.
NEW YORK
Olivia and Alexis Bryan Morgan, the new Fashion Director, sit and have lunch. They make small talk and then Alexis asks if Olivia pulled any of the pieces for the Fergie shoot. Olivia tells her that she picked a lot of the Cartier and Bvlgari pieces, but she really wants Fergie to wear the blue dragon ring that she found for her. [Insert eye roll here]. Alexis tells her that she has a good eye and Olivia says that she was fortunate to be educated at a young age about jewelry and vintage pieces. UGH.
OH NOW I SEE. Olivia and Alexis have known each other for years. Great. Alexis asks Olivia how it is to work with Erin. Olivia says it's fine. Alexis tells Olivia that she has to pay her dues if she wants to make it in the fashion industry. She tells Olivia not to be discouraged and Olivia says she's glad that "her friend" is working there now! Alexis tells Olivia to come to her if there's anything she can do. Damn.
PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION
Whitney tells Kelly that Jonathon offered to shoot her look book for FREE. Hmm. That must have been later because he didn't do that in any of the scenes I saw. Kelly says that people don't usually do things for free without expecting something in return. Whitney is not really into him and is hoping that he doesn't want anything from her.
LOS ANGELES
The shoot is over and Erin and Joe are in a car on their way to the hotel. Joe defends his choice for the cover and brings up Olivia AGAIN. Erin stops him and says she can't hear about Olivia anymore today. She says it makes her skin crawl and she's "so OVER Olivia Palermo." Agreed. Joe says that he doesn't need Erin to put her on a pedestal, he just needs her to acknowledge that she did a good job. Erin says "Olivia did a good job today." Done.
PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION
Jonathon arrives to do the look book shoot. Whitney has everything set up and they start shooting. Jonathon is very complimentary to Whitney and Roxy confirms that he's hot for her. He tries to come up and talk to her and ask her out again and Whitney tells him she has no time for a social life right now and would like to keep things professional.
ELLE
It's team meeting time and Joe pulls everyone in to look at the Fergie cover. Olivia whispers to Robbie's assistant that she hopes the Armani outfit made it on the cover (because she pulled the jewelry for it). Joe comes in and tells them that they found the cover. He reminds them that they usually pull several covers together and pass them through focus groups to find the right one. He unveils the cover and it's ... THE ONE ERIN LIKED!!! Joe says that he preferred the Armani outfit with the diamonds, but ultimately, this green dress won out with the focus group. Seth whispers that there isn't even any jewelry in the picture. HAHA! Joe gives Erin props for knowing what the readers would prefer and tells her she did a great job. YAY!! ERIN FTW!!!
Awesome. See you next week.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Erin, Olivia and a bunch of editors are all talking to Joe Zee about the "Fergie" Cover. Olivia pulls out some great accessories, the team has great looks and everything is good to go! Joe asks Olivia to hang back for a second. He tells her that her work was good this morning, but she needs to be consistent. He tells her he can't bring her to LA and she understands why. HA!
PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION
Roxy and Whitney are looking through magazine for inspiration for Whitney's look book. Whitney says that the French photographer from the Ruelala shoot sent her the pics and then asked her to get a drink or dinner. Kelly walks up and Whit fills her in. Kelly says that everyone should have an affair with a French guy, especially if you're in fashion. "It's a great way to learn the language and a great way to get banged." :)
ELLE
Robbie's assistant comes to Olivia to pick up some accessories for a black tie affair that Robbie is attending. He asks Olivia why she isn't in LA and Olivia lies and says that she had no intention of going to LA because she has "too much work" to do at the office. Yeah right! No, I don't want to meet Fergie. I'd rather stay in my office and work. Stupid.
LA
The Elle team arrives at the L'Ermitage Hotel in LA. Erin meets Joe for coffee in the morning and the conversation turns to Olivia. Joe says she's good at pulling accessories together for a look. Erin says that might be true, but that's not enough. It's a whole job, not just getting a ring for one look. Erin says they now have to worry that she won't even show up. Joe promises that will NEVER happen again. Joe tries to defend Olivia and Erin just says "the bad far outweighs the good." I could not agree more.
WHITNEY'S APARTMENT
Whitney comes out of her room in a white sparkly dress and black leggings. WHAT? Jonathon, her date, shows up on his motorcycle and even brought an extra helmet for Whitney. She's a little freaked out because she's never been on one, but decides to go for it. They sit down and grab drinks and they start talking war photography. Jonathon is a very serious guy. Whitney mentions that she needs a photographer to shoot her look book and Jonathon says he'll do it.
FERGIE ELLE SHOOT
Joe and Erin show Fergie all the looks and she loves them. She tells Joe her favorite piece is a huge dragon ring (that I'm sure Olivia picked out). Erin rolls her eyes. They are watching the shoot and Joe tells Erin that diamonds make the outfit. (Olivia came up with the diamond idea). Erin says that the hot pants make the outfit. Joe says that Olivia can pick out a great piece of jewelry. That's her strength. I'm with Erin...that is NOT enough. Joe and Erin go look at some cover shots. Joe likes the cover with the diamond bracelet, while Erin obviously prefers the other cover. Joe is the boss so he wins!
Erin gets a call from Seth, Robbie's assistant, and he tells her that Olivia has been in the office all day and now she's out to lunch with the new Fashion Director to KISS SOME ASS! Erin is not pleased.
NEW YORK
Olivia and Alexis Bryan Morgan, the new Fashion Director, sit and have lunch. They make small talk and then Alexis asks if Olivia pulled any of the pieces for the Fergie shoot. Olivia tells her that she picked a lot of the Cartier and Bvlgari pieces, but she really wants Fergie to wear the blue dragon ring that she found for her. [Insert eye roll here]. Alexis tells her that she has a good eye and Olivia says that she was fortunate to be educated at a young age about jewelry and vintage pieces. UGH.
OH NOW I SEE. Olivia and Alexis have known each other for years. Great. Alexis asks Olivia how it is to work with Erin. Olivia says it's fine. Alexis tells Olivia that she has to pay her dues if she wants to make it in the fashion industry. She tells Olivia not to be discouraged and Olivia says she's glad that "her friend" is working there now! Alexis tells Olivia to come to her if there's anything she can do. Damn.
PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION
Whitney tells Kelly that Jonathon offered to shoot her look book for FREE. Hmm. That must have been later because he didn't do that in any of the scenes I saw. Kelly says that people don't usually do things for free without expecting something in return. Whitney is not really into him and is hoping that he doesn't want anything from her.
LOS ANGELES
The shoot is over and Erin and Joe are in a car on their way to the hotel. Joe defends his choice for the cover and brings up Olivia AGAIN. Erin stops him and says she can't hear about Olivia anymore today. She says it makes her skin crawl and she's "so OVER Olivia Palermo." Agreed. Joe says that he doesn't need Erin to put her on a pedestal, he just needs her to acknowledge that she did a good job. Erin says "Olivia did a good job today." Done.
PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION
Jonathon arrives to do the look book shoot. Whitney has everything set up and they start shooting. Jonathon is very complimentary to Whitney and Roxy confirms that he's hot for her. He tries to come up and talk to her and ask her out again and Whitney tells him she has no time for a social life right now and would like to keep things professional.
ELLE
It's team meeting time and Joe pulls everyone in to look at the Fergie cover. Olivia whispers to Robbie's assistant that she hopes the Armani outfit made it on the cover (because she pulled the jewelry for it). Joe comes in and tells them that they found the cover. He reminds them that they usually pull several covers together and pass them through focus groups to find the right one. He unveils the cover and it's ... THE ONE ERIN LIKED!!! Joe says that he preferred the Armani outfit with the diamonds, but ultimately, this green dress won out with the focus group. Seth whispers that there isn't even any jewelry in the picture. HAHA! Joe gives Erin props for knowing what the readers would prefer and tells her she did a great job. YAY!! ERIN FTW!!!
Awesome. See you next week.
Real Housewives of New Jersey - Season 2 - Episode 3
"Catty-Walk"
JACQUELINE
Jacqueline and her son, CJ, decide to paint one of his white shirts. Normal people (even those with money) would get a white Hanes T-Shirt for their kid to paint. Not Jacqueline. She and her son are painting one of his white Polo shirts.
DANIELLE
Danielle is a bad mom. There, I said it. She and Jillian (her 11 year old) come home and find a bouquet of flowers with a card that says "Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl. Congratulations!" Rather than comment what a sweet gesture and what pretty flowers, Danielle asks HER DAUGHTER why she thinks Jacqueline sent them. Jillian says that Jacqueline probably sent them because she's proud of Christine. DUH! Danielle wants her daughter to talk shit with her so she asks if Jillian thinks that she sent them because she felt bad about missing the luncheon. Shut up, Danielle. Seriously. Why are you doing this to your CHILD? Leave her alone.
Danielle keeps going and asks Jillian if she should call Jacqueline. Jillian says she doesn't know and, by her look, she doesn't care, either. SHE'S 11! Then, Danielle decides to call and asks Jillian to hang out while she calls. Jillian says that she thinks her mom needs privacy and Danielle says no. WHY ARE YOU BRINGING YOUR KIDS INTO YOUR DRAMA?!?! Jacqueline ignores the call and Danielle leaves a message. THEN, she asks Jillian if she thinks Jacqueline is busy with the baby or just didn't want to pick up. Why would you ask your kid that? Jillian is smart and not insane like her mother so she says that Jacqueline is a normal person, so she's probably busy. Heh. "People are busy."
Danielle is diabolical. She bitches that Jacqueline didn't come to her luncheon and tells Jacqueline that she can tell Christine herself if she's proud of her. SO, Jacqueline sends Christine flowers to tell her how proud she is of her. AND NOW, Danielle bitches because she doesn't know why Jacqueline is sending flowers when she doesn't have a relationship with any of them. WTF? She is insane. I really think she needs a shrink. I'm pretty convinced that she's Borderline and/or Histrionic and for sure Narcissistic.
Then Danielle decides to call Jacqueline AGAIN. This time she says "I think maybe it would be a good idea if you step out of the room" to her daughter. Before she can get to "good idea," Jillian says "ok" and bolts out of there. HAHA. WHY is Danielle calling her AGAIN?? She just left a message. Jeez. Jacqueline ignores the call again and this is Danielle's message:
"Hi Jacqueline. It's Danielle. Um, I have to be quite honest with you. I really was under the impression that you were you're own woman. And I think it's really gonna affect us, going forward until, at least, you're able to perhaps maybe even celebrate my children with me. [WHAT?] And I need to know how we're going to move forward from this if this is always going to stand in the way. It's up to you. I've made the moves. I've reached out and, um, I'm going to leave the rest up to you now. Bye."
I don't even understand what she was saying.
DINA
Dina tells Teresa that Danielle invited her to the "luncheon" for Christine. Dina interviews that she told Danielle when she forgave her that she needed time before they could be friends so she just wants Danielle to back OFF! Teresa doesn't get why Danielle is still in the picture. I agree. Everyone hates her, yet, they all talk about her incessantly. MOVE ON people. Even Dina, who apparently "runs from drama" is confused about what to do about Danielle. It's easy, really. Stop answering her calls and texting with her. It's done...let it die, already.
PS - Dina's cats are creepy.
JACQUELINE
Caroline and Jacqueline are chatting outside and the conversation begins with...who else? Danielle. Ridiculous. Caroline listens to Jacqueline vent and then just asks Jacqueline if Danielle ever acknowledged Nicholas's birth. Card, text, flowers, congratulations, etc? Nope. Nada. Nothing. I'm with Caroline....why are you even thinking about Danielle? Caroline: "I'm not saying my way is the right way, but I don't get the phone calls." LOVE IT!
DANIELLE
Danielle continues on her crusade to take away Christine's moment. First, she tells Jillian to look at pictures of Christine because they are so beautiful. In the next breath, she tells Jillian that she's next because she looks JUST LIKE CHRISTINE. Christine doesn't like the comparison and is probably wondering when she can just be happy for herself instead of sharing her moment with her mom and her sister.
TERESA
I'm embarrassed for Teresa in this scene. Her kids are the most obnoxious, spoiled brats. She spends $2,000 on tacky clothes for Gia while her other kids whine and completely mess up the boutique. I don't want to know any of those kids as teenagers or adults. Teresa tells Gia that she needs to get a job to support her spending. Gia's response: "I'm too pretty to work." Sad.
DINA
Dina confuses me. I think she's pretty and always well put together when she goes out. She seems like the most "normal" of all the Jersey ladies. But her house is completely crowded with tacky, gawdy furniture and decorations. And she's got those weird cats and she has a bird AND NOW she's meeting with an "energist"? WTF? Again, the conversation is centered around Danielle. OY! Dina wants to eliminate all the drama and basically, eliminate Danielle from her life, but she feels mean doing that. The "energist" tells Dina that she needs to tell Danielle to her face that she's done.
DANIELLE
Danielle's dog is disgusting. It's wiping it's ass on the carpet. GROSS. Her realtor, Karin, shows up and Danielle wants to know if she asked Danielle's ex to pay to fix up the house. Karin talks and talks, but bottom line: He's not paying for anything. Danielle whines that her ex hasn't paid for any upkeep on the house, but is insisting she sell the house so he can have his half. Well, that's the way it works. You're divorced. Why should he pay for the upkeep on the house he's not living in?? (Although, it might help get a better sale in the end, but whatever.) Teresa interviews that Danielle should get a job. I agree. I think all those women should get a job! Too much entitlement.
Danielle interviews that her home is worth $2M, but she'll probably only get $1.5M for it. That means her ex will get about $750K from the sale and she'll get "well under $1M. Nice way to treat a person." Are you F-ing kidding me??? I WISH someone would give me $750K so I can buy a house. She's delusional. This is what I'm talking about. ENTITLED. GET A JOB. Danielle decides to take her house off the market until her ex is willing to "fulfill his obligations" and fix up the house. [insert eye roll here]
CAROLINE
Caroline and Albie go to Teresa's house for dinner and to celebrate Gia's upcoming cat walk debut. Teresa says that she and Joe are "old school" but in a cute way. Meaning, he treats her like a 1950's housewife and he acts like the sexist, macho Italian. Yeah, so cute. Wow. Those girls are OUT OF CONTROL. I can't believe they were eating dinner at 8pm.
FASHION WEEK!!
So, Joe is the type of father who likes to tease his kids. But sometimes the teasing is just mean. My dad can be the same way. If you are a really sensitive person, it's hard to be around guys like that. But, if you have a good sense of self and sense of humor, it doesn't bug you. Joe tells Gia that she's going to walk down the "ugly runway" because she's so ugly. Ok, that's just mean. It's a little beyond just teasing. Teresa's response: "Gia is very sensitive." Yeah, that's the problem. Jeez. Teresa and Joe can't figure out why Gia is crying. Gia says "Dad is mean." Teresa: "Ok, Gia stop." Really? Your husband just called your daughter ugly, her feelings are hurt and all you have say is "Gia stop"? Who is this woman? Gia and Teresa get out of the car and Teresa tells her that her dad was just kidding. Terrible.
DANIELLE
Danielle, Christine and Jillian arrive at IMG to meet with Christine's agent and a walking coach, Mac Folkes. Well, what do you know, Christine is a normal 15 year old. She doesn't really care about doing the perfect "walk," but she tries. Danielle is shouting out critiques which is dumb because Danielle is NO MODEL. She looks like she's next in line to be the cat lady. Christine finally gets annoyed and decides she's done practicing.
DINA
OMG. I just lost a little respect for Dina. Her energist decides to do some "smudging" with her before she leaves. "Smudging" is when you burn dry sage to get rid of the negative energy. The reason I've lost a little respect for Dina is because my boyfriend's ex wife did this when they got divorced and he moved out. And I think his ex wife is a total nut job!! She's all about being vegan and spiritual, but drives an SUV and refuses to work and expects men to take care of her. She's a walking contradiction. So this "smudging" thing is a little ridiculous to me.
DANIELLE
Danielle and her daughters show up. I'm surprised Christine's dad isn't there. Danielle interviews that she has no concerns about Christine's eating habits now that she's a model. Cut to Christine getting "food" because she's "SO hungry" and comes back with two small slices of melon. Really? Not even a little concerned, Danielle?
TERESA
Caroline and Jacqueline come backstage to say hi to Gia and Teresa. Teresa is in a sexy dress and three inch heels and NINE MONTHS PREGNANT. Wow. Teresa sees that Christine is on the cover of the Daily and she shows Gia and says how pretty Christine is. Danielle interviews that she doesn't think Teresa is genuinely happy for Christine. Why not?? Teresa hates you, Danielle. She has nothing against your daughter. And, from what I've seen, Christine and Jillian are already twice the woman Danielle will ever be.
Out comes Gia and she looks so cute. Jacqueline, Teresa and Caroline are squealing and clapping in the front row. It's super exciting. Gia does a great job. Even Joe tells her how beautiful she is. Ahhh. Gag.
Up next...the REBECCA MINKOFF SHOW
Christine is 5'10" and walking in "6-inch heels." I think they're actually 4-inch heels, which are not that bad. I have plenty of shoes that high and they aren't hard to walk in. As Christine comes down the runway, Danielle interviews that Christine will be a supermodel and travel all over the world "with me by her side." It's always about Danielle. Can't you just be happy for Christine and let her enjoy it...WITHOUT YOU RIDING HER COATTAILS??
Danielle is talking to EVERYONE and bragging about Christine. Meanwhile, Christine and the other models are all posing on the runway for photographers for about 25 minutes after the show and Christine tells the model next to her that she doesn't feel good. Well, I'm not surprised. She only ate two little slices of melon! Christine tells people she doesn't feel good and that she's going to "barf." She starts gagging. Someone pulls her off the stage. She sits in the back and gets some water. She's totally sweating and Danielle gets back there and figures out that Christine didn't eat anything. Her agent tells her that this happens sometimes and Christine is relieved that she isn't the only one who almost fainted.
All in all, the two girls did a great job.
See you next week!
JACQUELINE
Jacqueline and her son, CJ, decide to paint one of his white shirts. Normal people (even those with money) would get a white Hanes T-Shirt for their kid to paint. Not Jacqueline. She and her son are painting one of his white Polo shirts.
DANIELLE
Danielle is a bad mom. There, I said it. She and Jillian (her 11 year old) come home and find a bouquet of flowers with a card that says "Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl. Congratulations!" Rather than comment what a sweet gesture and what pretty flowers, Danielle asks HER DAUGHTER why she thinks Jacqueline sent them. Jillian says that Jacqueline probably sent them because she's proud of Christine. DUH! Danielle wants her daughter to talk shit with her so she asks if Jillian thinks that she sent them because she felt bad about missing the luncheon. Shut up, Danielle. Seriously. Why are you doing this to your CHILD? Leave her alone.
Danielle keeps going and asks Jillian if she should call Jacqueline. Jillian says she doesn't know and, by her look, she doesn't care, either. SHE'S 11! Then, Danielle decides to call and asks Jillian to hang out while she calls. Jillian says that she thinks her mom needs privacy and Danielle says no. WHY ARE YOU BRINGING YOUR KIDS INTO YOUR DRAMA?!?! Jacqueline ignores the call and Danielle leaves a message. THEN, she asks Jillian if she thinks Jacqueline is busy with the baby or just didn't want to pick up. Why would you ask your kid that? Jillian is smart and not insane like her mother so she says that Jacqueline is a normal person, so she's probably busy. Heh. "People are busy."
Danielle is diabolical. She bitches that Jacqueline didn't come to her luncheon and tells Jacqueline that she can tell Christine herself if she's proud of her. SO, Jacqueline sends Christine flowers to tell her how proud she is of her. AND NOW, Danielle bitches because she doesn't know why Jacqueline is sending flowers when she doesn't have a relationship with any of them. WTF? She is insane. I really think she needs a shrink. I'm pretty convinced that she's Borderline and/or Histrionic and for sure Narcissistic.
Then Danielle decides to call Jacqueline AGAIN. This time she says "I think maybe it would be a good idea if you step out of the room" to her daughter. Before she can get to "good idea," Jillian says "ok" and bolts out of there. HAHA. WHY is Danielle calling her AGAIN?? She just left a message. Jeez. Jacqueline ignores the call again and this is Danielle's message:
"Hi Jacqueline. It's Danielle. Um, I have to be quite honest with you. I really was under the impression that you were you're own woman. And I think it's really gonna affect us, going forward until, at least, you're able to perhaps maybe even celebrate my children with me. [WHAT?] And I need to know how we're going to move forward from this if this is always going to stand in the way. It's up to you. I've made the moves. I've reached out and, um, I'm going to leave the rest up to you now. Bye."
I don't even understand what she was saying.
DINA
Dina tells Teresa that Danielle invited her to the "luncheon" for Christine. Dina interviews that she told Danielle when she forgave her that she needed time before they could be friends so she just wants Danielle to back OFF! Teresa doesn't get why Danielle is still in the picture. I agree. Everyone hates her, yet, they all talk about her incessantly. MOVE ON people. Even Dina, who apparently "runs from drama" is confused about what to do about Danielle. It's easy, really. Stop answering her calls and texting with her. It's done...let it die, already.
PS - Dina's cats are creepy.
JACQUELINE
Caroline and Jacqueline are chatting outside and the conversation begins with...who else? Danielle. Ridiculous. Caroline listens to Jacqueline vent and then just asks Jacqueline if Danielle ever acknowledged Nicholas's birth. Card, text, flowers, congratulations, etc? Nope. Nada. Nothing. I'm with Caroline....why are you even thinking about Danielle? Caroline: "I'm not saying my way is the right way, but I don't get the phone calls." LOVE IT!
DANIELLE
Danielle continues on her crusade to take away Christine's moment. First, she tells Jillian to look at pictures of Christine because they are so beautiful. In the next breath, she tells Jillian that she's next because she looks JUST LIKE CHRISTINE. Christine doesn't like the comparison and is probably wondering when she can just be happy for herself instead of sharing her moment with her mom and her sister.
TERESA
I'm embarrassed for Teresa in this scene. Her kids are the most obnoxious, spoiled brats. She spends $2,000 on tacky clothes for Gia while her other kids whine and completely mess up the boutique. I don't want to know any of those kids as teenagers or adults. Teresa tells Gia that she needs to get a job to support her spending. Gia's response: "I'm too pretty to work." Sad.
DINA
Dina confuses me. I think she's pretty and always well put together when she goes out. She seems like the most "normal" of all the Jersey ladies. But her house is completely crowded with tacky, gawdy furniture and decorations. And she's got those weird cats and she has a bird AND NOW she's meeting with an "energist"? WTF? Again, the conversation is centered around Danielle. OY! Dina wants to eliminate all the drama and basically, eliminate Danielle from her life, but she feels mean doing that. The "energist" tells Dina that she needs to tell Danielle to her face that she's done.
DANIELLE
Danielle's dog is disgusting. It's wiping it's ass on the carpet. GROSS. Her realtor, Karin, shows up and Danielle wants to know if she asked Danielle's ex to pay to fix up the house. Karin talks and talks, but bottom line: He's not paying for anything. Danielle whines that her ex hasn't paid for any upkeep on the house, but is insisting she sell the house so he can have his half. Well, that's the way it works. You're divorced. Why should he pay for the upkeep on the house he's not living in?? (Although, it might help get a better sale in the end, but whatever.) Teresa interviews that Danielle should get a job. I agree. I think all those women should get a job! Too much entitlement.
Danielle interviews that her home is worth $2M, but she'll probably only get $1.5M for it. That means her ex will get about $750K from the sale and she'll get "well under $1M. Nice way to treat a person." Are you F-ing kidding me??? I WISH someone would give me $750K so I can buy a house. She's delusional. This is what I'm talking about. ENTITLED. GET A JOB. Danielle decides to take her house off the market until her ex is willing to "fulfill his obligations" and fix up the house. [insert eye roll here]
CAROLINE
Caroline and Albie go to Teresa's house for dinner and to celebrate Gia's upcoming cat walk debut. Teresa says that she and Joe are "old school" but in a cute way. Meaning, he treats her like a 1950's housewife and he acts like the sexist, macho Italian. Yeah, so cute. Wow. Those girls are OUT OF CONTROL. I can't believe they were eating dinner at 8pm.
FASHION WEEK!!
So, Joe is the type of father who likes to tease his kids. But sometimes the teasing is just mean. My dad can be the same way. If you are a really sensitive person, it's hard to be around guys like that. But, if you have a good sense of self and sense of humor, it doesn't bug you. Joe tells Gia that she's going to walk down the "ugly runway" because she's so ugly. Ok, that's just mean. It's a little beyond just teasing. Teresa's response: "Gia is very sensitive." Yeah, that's the problem. Jeez. Teresa and Joe can't figure out why Gia is crying. Gia says "Dad is mean." Teresa: "Ok, Gia stop." Really? Your husband just called your daughter ugly, her feelings are hurt and all you have say is "Gia stop"? Who is this woman? Gia and Teresa get out of the car and Teresa tells her that her dad was just kidding. Terrible.
DANIELLE
Danielle, Christine and Jillian arrive at IMG to meet with Christine's agent and a walking coach, Mac Folkes. Well, what do you know, Christine is a normal 15 year old. She doesn't really care about doing the perfect "walk," but she tries. Danielle is shouting out critiques which is dumb because Danielle is NO MODEL. She looks like she's next in line to be the cat lady. Christine finally gets annoyed and decides she's done practicing.
DINA
OMG. I just lost a little respect for Dina. Her energist decides to do some "smudging" with her before she leaves. "Smudging" is when you burn dry sage to get rid of the negative energy. The reason I've lost a little respect for Dina is because my boyfriend's ex wife did this when they got divorced and he moved out. And I think his ex wife is a total nut job!! She's all about being vegan and spiritual, but drives an SUV and refuses to work and expects men to take care of her. She's a walking contradiction. So this "smudging" thing is a little ridiculous to me.
DANIELLE
Danielle and her daughters show up. I'm surprised Christine's dad isn't there. Danielle interviews that she has no concerns about Christine's eating habits now that she's a model. Cut to Christine getting "food" because she's "SO hungry" and comes back with two small slices of melon. Really? Not even a little concerned, Danielle?
TERESA
Caroline and Jacqueline come backstage to say hi to Gia and Teresa. Teresa is in a sexy dress and three inch heels and NINE MONTHS PREGNANT. Wow. Teresa sees that Christine is on the cover of the Daily and she shows Gia and says how pretty Christine is. Danielle interviews that she doesn't think Teresa is genuinely happy for Christine. Why not?? Teresa hates you, Danielle. She has nothing against your daughter. And, from what I've seen, Christine and Jillian are already twice the woman Danielle will ever be.
Out comes Gia and she looks so cute. Jacqueline, Teresa and Caroline are squealing and clapping in the front row. It's super exciting. Gia does a great job. Even Joe tells her how beautiful she is. Ahhh. Gag.
Up next...the REBECCA MINKOFF SHOW
Christine is 5'10" and walking in "6-inch heels." I think they're actually 4-inch heels, which are not that bad. I have plenty of shoes that high and they aren't hard to walk in. As Christine comes down the runway, Danielle interviews that Christine will be a supermodel and travel all over the world "with me by her side." It's always about Danielle. Can't you just be happy for Christine and let her enjoy it...WITHOUT YOU RIDING HER COATTAILS??
Danielle is talking to EVERYONE and bragging about Christine. Meanwhile, Christine and the other models are all posing on the runway for photographers for about 25 minutes after the show and Christine tells the model next to her that she doesn't feel good. Well, I'm not surprised. She only ate two little slices of melon! Christine tells people she doesn't feel good and that she's going to "barf." She starts gagging. Someone pulls her off the stage. She sits in the back and gets some water. She's totally sweating and Danielle gets back there and figures out that Christine didn't eat anything. Her agent tells her that this happens sometimes and Christine is relieved that she isn't the only one who almost fainted.
All in all, the two girls did a great job.
See you next week!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Real Housewives of New York - Season 3 - Episode 11
"Overboard"
RAMONA
Ramona arrives at Sonja's house to pick her up for her Bachelorette "fun party" in St. John's. Sonja tells Ramona how much she appreciates their friendship and how happy she is that they've remained friends for so long. She's honest and also says that she loves luxury and knows Ramona planned an amazing trip for them. Ramona says that it means a lot that Sonja is there and that she's disappointed Jill didn't come. But, she knows that Jill didn't come because Jill wasn't going to be the center of attention. Jill didn't plan it, she didn't get to make the guest list, so Jill wants no part of it. Sonja says that this trip isn't about Jill. It's about Ramona and supporting her and her upcoming vow renewal with Mario. Exactly.
Ramona interviews that she's kind of glad Jill isn't coming. She says that Jill and her sidekick, Luann are the "buzzkills." HA.
LUANN
Luann goes to see Chris Young, her producer, at the recording studio. Luann says that she loves to sing and has always loved it since she was a child. I've heard her "song" and I'm so not impressed. It's so heavily produced with all the auto-tune magic. Although it has to be with that baritone voice of hers.
Chris is laying on the flattery pretty thick. She tells him that they've known each other long enough and he can call her "Luann" now. He refuses and says that she will always be the Countess to him. UGH. Luann interviews that Chris asked her what kind of song she wanted to record and she started reading him lines from her book. They brainstormed and came up with "Money Can't Buy You Class."
Chris Young tells us that the Countess has a great voice, reminiscent of Madonna and Fergie. WTF? She sounds like a MAN. The Countess says that she's not a "great singer" and Chris agrees. He says that she's a "star!" and that's where her strength comes in. Chris Young sees a cash cow and wants to milk it. Luann tells us that she is recording and all she has to do is sing the song and then Chris does all the work to make it sound decent. Well, not that last part, but you get the idea. She says it's not much of a time commitment for her. Of course it's not. Chris is spending all the time to make your voice sound bearable. "Elegance is lear-r-r-R-RNED!" OY!
RAMONA
The girls - Bethenny, Alex, Sonja, Kelly and Ramona - all arrive in the US Virgin Islands for their trip. I could so use a vacation right now. It looks beautiful there. Bethenny tells us that she just buried her father and she's feeling pregnant and emotional. But, she thinks the sun and relaxation is just what she needs to get back on track. They are all in an SUV on their way and Bethenny asks for more pretzels. Kelly announces that she doesn't eat things with corn syrup or processed foods and then says that she loves Gummi Bears and Jelly Beans. Um, what? Kelly = DUMB. Bethenny tells Kelly that Gummi Bears ARE corn syrup. Kelly's response: "They're fun candy, though. It's fun." Bethenny interviews: "Gummi Bears don't come from the vine. Those aren't the bears that you see at the Bronx Zoo." HAHA.
They arrive at a dock and the OLGA yacht is parked there waiting for them. Apparently, it's super luxury and Kelly is STOKED about it. That's where they are staying for 5 days and it's really cool. They tour the yacht and pick rooms. It's amazing.
Ramona pulls out all of her swimsuits and, I shit you not, the woman has about 10 suits that she intends on wearing on this 5 day trip. The ladies are laying out in their bikinis and Ramona rings the bell for lunch. Ramona is concerned about Bethenny because of her father's death. She hugs Bethenny and tells her she knows it's hard but she's there for her.
A few minutes later, Ramona announces that she had an altercation with Jill when she told her that Bethenny's father had passed away. Ramona says that Jill attacked her and called her a bad friend. Kelly interrupts and says that she was there and Jill did not attack Ramona. Kelly says that Jill was just jealous that she couldn't be there for Bethenny. Ramona tells Kelly that this was her point that night and she told Kelly that Jill was misplacing her anger but Kelly didn't get it then. She's glad Kelly finally gets it.
Kelly is getting way too defensive about everything. Alex mentions that Jill texted her with "Did you hear that Bethenny's dad died?" and she took it as Jill being a gossip. Kelly defends Jill and says that the ladies are all over-analyzing everything. And, she's sure Jill didn't mean it in a gossipy or disrespectful way. Kelly says that she doesn't care but they are all making "lemons into lemonade." Bethenny corrects her and tells her that the expression she used means making something good out of something bad. Kelly says "not necessarily." Sonja tells Kelly that the expression she's looking for is "making a mountain out of a molehill." HAHA.
Kelly thinks she's better than everyone else and says that they are all just making too much out of everything. Kelly: "I'm not that girl. I'm not that sorority, talk about everyone else kind of girl." Kelly is someone who cares A LOT about what people think about her. God only knows why she decided to do a reality show. But, she is constantly saying what type of girl she is NOT. "I'm not the sorority type of girl." "I'm not the type of girl who talks about other people." And later, "I'm not the one-night stand type of girl." She spends a lot of time telling people what she's not. People who are constantly defending themselves, usually have something to hide. I'm just sayin'.
Kelly gets up to leave. Good riddance. Someone throw her off the boat. HAHA. She can't figure out how to open the door to go back inside. Ramona tells her that they will see her later and they didn't mean to upset her. Kelly just yells that they are vile and demented. Rude bitch. I would send her home if I was Ramona.
Bethenny interviews that Kelly went crazy on them and nearly smashed into the glass trying to make a grand exit. HAHA. Sonja interviews that she wasn't interested in the negative Jill talk at all. They all decide to just sit and enjoy their dessert and Sonja asks what they should do about Kelly. Alex says that she just gave herself a "time out" and she'll be back when she cools down. And, that's what happened. Kelly came back out and had some dessert and they were all good.
Bethenny is sitting upstairs on the yacht waiting for the other ladies to get ready. Alex comes up and sits with her and Bethenny talks about her last visit with her dad. The conversation turns to Kelly because Bethenny can't believe she's on a trip with her and Alex asks "what was that?" about the lunch tantrum. Then they both start laughing hysterically. Bethenny: "It was a gift from Jesus to make me laugh. The lemons and lemonade?? What was that?" Then she says "Did [she] go to Columbia, the country? 'Cuz there's no way that broad went to college." HAHA.
LUANN
Luann is on a date with the poor man's Rod Stewart. I don't even remember his name, but he's such a tool. Oh yeah, Cord or maybe it's Cort. I'm not sure. But he's about a foot shorter than Luann and just slimy. Cort/Cord gives Luann a copy of his book. Luann interviews that Cord/Cort is a published author and an intellectual. Um, are you sure? He looks like a total tool. He's being flirty and her voice is so distracting. It's like two trannies on a date. He is so strange. There's something not quite right with him. Maybe he's on drugs or something. Luann tells him that she LOVES his company. Gross.
She asks what he's doing this weekend and he said that he's heading out to the Hamptons to play some tennis. Luann tells him that she plays and they could play together at her house. Some sexual innuendos follow (gag!) and he kisses her on each cheek and tries to get her lips, but she stops him. Oh, NOW you're uncomfortable, Luann? What a tease! I'm not sure what happens, but Luann loses her inhibitions and they kiss several times. They walk over to the bar and she is so much taller that she bends down a little to kiss him. HA!
RAMONA
Alex, Kelly and Ramona are in the water snorkeling. Ramona is upset because there aren't any fish. Sonja interviews that she is glad she didn't ruin her "good hair day" to get in the water with no fish. Oy vey! Ramona cracks me up. She's snorkeling with a noodle because she's not a great swimmer.
It's evening now and the ladies are dressed up for dinner. Ramona announces that she has assigned seats for everyone. Bethenny tells her that she hopes she's on the end because she has to pee so much and not because Ramona felt she needed to separate Kelly and Bethenny. Why? That would seem weird. Bethenny and Kelly weren't even the ones fighting. It was Ramona and Kelly.
After dinner, Ramona went over to the yacht next door. Kelly, Alex, Bethenny and Sonja are relaxing on the couch and Kelly brings out a bunch of shots. Sonja interviews that they are all relaxing and Bethenny opens up about her father passing. Why is Kelly there? All she brings is conflict. She tells Bethenny that she needs to appreciate her dad for what he was to her even if he was terrible. And that some people are just selfish, but it was "his moment." What? Sonja gets upset at Kelly and says how devastating it is. I think Sonja had the right idea. Maybe people are selfish and that sucks, but Bethenny doesn't need a reality check right now. She needs support. She needs people who will listen and empathize, not people who are basically telling her to get over it.
Ramona comes back and diffuses the situation. She tells them that she met the owner of Hooters and invites the girls to go to the Hooters Yacht. Ramona is crazy. She wants to go yacht hopping. She takes Alex and leaves Sonja, Bethenny and Kelly to argue about one-night stands. Sonja tells Kelly she needs to get laid because she's too uptight. Ha! Kelly tells Sonja that she's not a one-night stand type of person because she doesn't have "unprotected sex" and doesn't want to sleep with "everyone all over America." So, I don't agree that Kelly should go out an have a one-night stand - although gettin' some might not be such a bad idea. BUT, I think Kelly is a little ignorant about the one-night stand. All it means is that you hook up with a guy one night and that's it. No relationship, no phone calls, no awkwardness. Just one night and that's it. You can use protection, in fact, it's encouraged. And you can do it once and not do it with everyone all over America.
Sonja interviews: "Who wants to die tomorrow and say 'I've never had a one night stand?'" Kelly grandstands about how she's "not like Bethenny" because Sonja said that Bethenny has had one-night stands in the past. Kelly is all high and mighty and says that if Sonja looked like her then she wouldn't give it up so easily. Bitch. Sonja is drunk and starts crying about how much her self esteem took a hit after her divorce. Bethenny hugs her and tells her that she looks amazing.
Sonja says that she doesn't like to play the victim and Bethenny tells her it's about being emotional, not a victim. Kelly asks why everything has to have a label: Survivor, Victim, etc. She says the whole "feelings" thing is "so 1979." What? Kelly needs to just leave. She's so argumentative. Jeez. Sonja compliments Bethenny and says that what she loves about her is that she never plays the victim. Instead of letting it go, Kelly says that sometimes Bethenny plays the victim. Then Kelly continues that Bethenny likes to make people feel bad to make herself feel better "which is not a good quality." Wow. Kelly is just picking fights tonight.
Kelly brings up a fight that she and Bethenny had OVER A YEAR AGO. Bethenny tells Kelly that she needs to let that go already. Seriously! Then Kelly accuses Bethenny of not letting it go by talking to the press about her and her kids. Bethenny doesn't know what Kelly is talking about. Kelly just keeps going and calls Bethenny "vindictive" and mean. Kelly says that Bethenny is "creepy" and she gets "creeped out" by her. So, Bethenny says "Then get away from me." Done and done. Exactly. Why does Kelly keep putting herself in situations with Bethenny?
Bethenny interviews that Kelly must have gotten her wires crossed today. Because every second something is triggering her and it's like the wires in her head short out and buzz. Kelly goes on and calls Bethenny a "cook" not a "chef." Bethenny says "I went to culinary school you moron!" Then Sonja asks why Kelly would say that she's a cook and not a chef. Kelly says it's because she doesn't know what she is. So Sonja asks why she would say that if she doesn't know. Bethenny tells Kelly that she speaks without thinking and is the "most unintelligent" person she knows. It goes back and forth and Sonja brings the fight back to "sex." Kelly calls Bethenny a "ho-bag" and interviews that it's because Bethenny said she "sleeps around with America." But, what Bethenny actually said was that she has had a one-night stand before. It's not the same thing. Kelly is really an idiot. If she left the show, no one would miss her. Bethenny decides to leave the "lunatic" and goes over to the Hooters boat with the "sane people." HAHA.
Ramona is DRUNK. She's talking to one of the guys on the boat...the "owner"? I'm not so sure though, because I just saw an episode of Undercover Boss with the CEO of Hooters and it wasn't that guy. Anyhow, Ramona tells the guy that she's still HOT for her husband after 17 years of marriage. Bethenny shows up and tella Alex and Ramona what just went down on the crazy boat next door. Then Kelly and Sonja show up.
Sonja interviews that she feels like she's always the one left with Kelly...which is fine, but she wanted to calm Kelly down and be with the normal girls for awhile. Sonja tells the rest of the girls that Kelly's arguments and feud with Bethenny have no merit and that Kelly is just "a dog with a bone." Ramona slurs that she's going to shut Kelly down when she walks over to them. Ramona tells Kelly to be peaceful or not be there. Kelly says that everything is fine and she didn't have any altercations with anyone. OMG. Kelly is seriously the stupidest person on that show. And that is really saying A LOT because none of those women are particularly bright. Kelly starts to get "embarrassed" that Ramona is yelling at her and tells her to calm down. The entire time Ramona and Kelly are talking, Sonja is yelling "I would like to see Hooters Girls" over and over. HAHA.
They finally get off the Hooters Yacht and head to a local bar on St. John's. Alex, Bethenny and Ramona are dancing while Kelly and Sonja are back on the yacht going to sleep. Sonja says that it smells like cat piss and the other girls are dancing to the beat of their own drums.
See you next week!
RAMONA
Ramona arrives at Sonja's house to pick her up for her Bachelorette "fun party" in St. John's. Sonja tells Ramona how much she appreciates their friendship and how happy she is that they've remained friends for so long. She's honest and also says that she loves luxury and knows Ramona planned an amazing trip for them. Ramona says that it means a lot that Sonja is there and that she's disappointed Jill didn't come. But, she knows that Jill didn't come because Jill wasn't going to be the center of attention. Jill didn't plan it, she didn't get to make the guest list, so Jill wants no part of it. Sonja says that this trip isn't about Jill. It's about Ramona and supporting her and her upcoming vow renewal with Mario. Exactly.
Ramona interviews that she's kind of glad Jill isn't coming. She says that Jill and her sidekick, Luann are the "buzzkills." HA.
LUANN
Luann goes to see Chris Young, her producer, at the recording studio. Luann says that she loves to sing and has always loved it since she was a child. I've heard her "song" and I'm so not impressed. It's so heavily produced with all the auto-tune magic. Although it has to be with that baritone voice of hers.
Chris is laying on the flattery pretty thick. She tells him that they've known each other long enough and he can call her "Luann" now. He refuses and says that she will always be the Countess to him. UGH. Luann interviews that Chris asked her what kind of song she wanted to record and she started reading him lines from her book. They brainstormed and came up with "Money Can't Buy You Class."
Chris Young tells us that the Countess has a great voice, reminiscent of Madonna and Fergie. WTF? She sounds like a MAN. The Countess says that she's not a "great singer" and Chris agrees. He says that she's a "star!" and that's where her strength comes in. Chris Young sees a cash cow and wants to milk it. Luann tells us that she is recording and all she has to do is sing the song and then Chris does all the work to make it sound decent. Well, not that last part, but you get the idea. She says it's not much of a time commitment for her. Of course it's not. Chris is spending all the time to make your voice sound bearable. "Elegance is lear-r-r-R-RNED!" OY!
RAMONA
The girls - Bethenny, Alex, Sonja, Kelly and Ramona - all arrive in the US Virgin Islands for their trip. I could so use a vacation right now. It looks beautiful there. Bethenny tells us that she just buried her father and she's feeling pregnant and emotional. But, she thinks the sun and relaxation is just what she needs to get back on track. They are all in an SUV on their way and Bethenny asks for more pretzels. Kelly announces that she doesn't eat things with corn syrup or processed foods and then says that she loves Gummi Bears and Jelly Beans. Um, what? Kelly = DUMB. Bethenny tells Kelly that Gummi Bears ARE corn syrup. Kelly's response: "They're fun candy, though. It's fun." Bethenny interviews: "Gummi Bears don't come from the vine. Those aren't the bears that you see at the Bronx Zoo." HAHA.
They arrive at a dock and the OLGA yacht is parked there waiting for them. Apparently, it's super luxury and Kelly is STOKED about it. That's where they are staying for 5 days and it's really cool. They tour the yacht and pick rooms. It's amazing.
Ramona pulls out all of her swimsuits and, I shit you not, the woman has about 10 suits that she intends on wearing on this 5 day trip. The ladies are laying out in their bikinis and Ramona rings the bell for lunch. Ramona is concerned about Bethenny because of her father's death. She hugs Bethenny and tells her she knows it's hard but she's there for her.
A few minutes later, Ramona announces that she had an altercation with Jill when she told her that Bethenny's father had passed away. Ramona says that Jill attacked her and called her a bad friend. Kelly interrupts and says that she was there and Jill did not attack Ramona. Kelly says that Jill was just jealous that she couldn't be there for Bethenny. Ramona tells Kelly that this was her point that night and she told Kelly that Jill was misplacing her anger but Kelly didn't get it then. She's glad Kelly finally gets it.
Kelly is getting way too defensive about everything. Alex mentions that Jill texted her with "Did you hear that Bethenny's dad died?" and she took it as Jill being a gossip. Kelly defends Jill and says that the ladies are all over-analyzing everything. And, she's sure Jill didn't mean it in a gossipy or disrespectful way. Kelly says that she doesn't care but they are all making "lemons into lemonade." Bethenny corrects her and tells her that the expression she used means making something good out of something bad. Kelly says "not necessarily." Sonja tells Kelly that the expression she's looking for is "making a mountain out of a molehill." HAHA.
Kelly thinks she's better than everyone else and says that they are all just making too much out of everything. Kelly: "I'm not that girl. I'm not that sorority, talk about everyone else kind of girl." Kelly is someone who cares A LOT about what people think about her. God only knows why she decided to do a reality show. But, she is constantly saying what type of girl she is NOT. "I'm not the sorority type of girl." "I'm not the type of girl who talks about other people." And later, "I'm not the one-night stand type of girl." She spends a lot of time telling people what she's not. People who are constantly defending themselves, usually have something to hide. I'm just sayin'.
Kelly gets up to leave. Good riddance. Someone throw her off the boat. HAHA. She can't figure out how to open the door to go back inside. Ramona tells her that they will see her later and they didn't mean to upset her. Kelly just yells that they are vile and demented. Rude bitch. I would send her home if I was Ramona.
Bethenny interviews that Kelly went crazy on them and nearly smashed into the glass trying to make a grand exit. HAHA. Sonja interviews that she wasn't interested in the negative Jill talk at all. They all decide to just sit and enjoy their dessert and Sonja asks what they should do about Kelly. Alex says that she just gave herself a "time out" and she'll be back when she cools down. And, that's what happened. Kelly came back out and had some dessert and they were all good.
Bethenny is sitting upstairs on the yacht waiting for the other ladies to get ready. Alex comes up and sits with her and Bethenny talks about her last visit with her dad. The conversation turns to Kelly because Bethenny can't believe she's on a trip with her and Alex asks "what was that?" about the lunch tantrum. Then they both start laughing hysterically. Bethenny: "It was a gift from Jesus to make me laugh. The lemons and lemonade?? What was that?" Then she says "Did [she] go to Columbia, the country? 'Cuz there's no way that broad went to college." HAHA.
LUANN
Luann is on a date with the poor man's Rod Stewart. I don't even remember his name, but he's such a tool. Oh yeah, Cord or maybe it's Cort. I'm not sure. But he's about a foot shorter than Luann and just slimy. Cort/Cord gives Luann a copy of his book. Luann interviews that Cord/Cort is a published author and an intellectual. Um, are you sure? He looks like a total tool. He's being flirty and her voice is so distracting. It's like two trannies on a date. He is so strange. There's something not quite right with him. Maybe he's on drugs or something. Luann tells him that she LOVES his company. Gross.
She asks what he's doing this weekend and he said that he's heading out to the Hamptons to play some tennis. Luann tells him that she plays and they could play together at her house. Some sexual innuendos follow (gag!) and he kisses her on each cheek and tries to get her lips, but she stops him. Oh, NOW you're uncomfortable, Luann? What a tease! I'm not sure what happens, but Luann loses her inhibitions and they kiss several times. They walk over to the bar and she is so much taller that she bends down a little to kiss him. HA!
RAMONA
Alex, Kelly and Ramona are in the water snorkeling. Ramona is upset because there aren't any fish. Sonja interviews that she is glad she didn't ruin her "good hair day" to get in the water with no fish. Oy vey! Ramona cracks me up. She's snorkeling with a noodle because she's not a great swimmer.
It's evening now and the ladies are dressed up for dinner. Ramona announces that she has assigned seats for everyone. Bethenny tells her that she hopes she's on the end because she has to pee so much and not because Ramona felt she needed to separate Kelly and Bethenny. Why? That would seem weird. Bethenny and Kelly weren't even the ones fighting. It was Ramona and Kelly.
After dinner, Ramona went over to the yacht next door. Kelly, Alex, Bethenny and Sonja are relaxing on the couch and Kelly brings out a bunch of shots. Sonja interviews that they are all relaxing and Bethenny opens up about her father passing. Why is Kelly there? All she brings is conflict. She tells Bethenny that she needs to appreciate her dad for what he was to her even if he was terrible. And that some people are just selfish, but it was "his moment." What? Sonja gets upset at Kelly and says how devastating it is. I think Sonja had the right idea. Maybe people are selfish and that sucks, but Bethenny doesn't need a reality check right now. She needs support. She needs people who will listen and empathize, not people who are basically telling her to get over it.
Ramona comes back and diffuses the situation. She tells them that she met the owner of Hooters and invites the girls to go to the Hooters Yacht. Ramona is crazy. She wants to go yacht hopping. She takes Alex and leaves Sonja, Bethenny and Kelly to argue about one-night stands. Sonja tells Kelly she needs to get laid because she's too uptight. Ha! Kelly tells Sonja that she's not a one-night stand type of person because she doesn't have "unprotected sex" and doesn't want to sleep with "everyone all over America." So, I don't agree that Kelly should go out an have a one-night stand - although gettin' some might not be such a bad idea. BUT, I think Kelly is a little ignorant about the one-night stand. All it means is that you hook up with a guy one night and that's it. No relationship, no phone calls, no awkwardness. Just one night and that's it. You can use protection, in fact, it's encouraged. And you can do it once and not do it with everyone all over America.
Sonja interviews: "Who wants to die tomorrow and say 'I've never had a one night stand?'" Kelly grandstands about how she's "not like Bethenny" because Sonja said that Bethenny has had one-night stands in the past. Kelly is all high and mighty and says that if Sonja looked like her then she wouldn't give it up so easily. Bitch. Sonja is drunk and starts crying about how much her self esteem took a hit after her divorce. Bethenny hugs her and tells her that she looks amazing.
Sonja says that she doesn't like to play the victim and Bethenny tells her it's about being emotional, not a victim. Kelly asks why everything has to have a label: Survivor, Victim, etc. She says the whole "feelings" thing is "so 1979." What? Kelly needs to just leave. She's so argumentative. Jeez. Sonja compliments Bethenny and says that what she loves about her is that she never plays the victim. Instead of letting it go, Kelly says that sometimes Bethenny plays the victim. Then Kelly continues that Bethenny likes to make people feel bad to make herself feel better "which is not a good quality." Wow. Kelly is just picking fights tonight.
Kelly brings up a fight that she and Bethenny had OVER A YEAR AGO. Bethenny tells Kelly that she needs to let that go already. Seriously! Then Kelly accuses Bethenny of not letting it go by talking to the press about her and her kids. Bethenny doesn't know what Kelly is talking about. Kelly just keeps going and calls Bethenny "vindictive" and mean. Kelly says that Bethenny is "creepy" and she gets "creeped out" by her. So, Bethenny says "Then get away from me." Done and done. Exactly. Why does Kelly keep putting herself in situations with Bethenny?
Bethenny interviews that Kelly must have gotten her wires crossed today. Because every second something is triggering her and it's like the wires in her head short out and buzz. Kelly goes on and calls Bethenny a "cook" not a "chef." Bethenny says "I went to culinary school you moron!" Then Sonja asks why Kelly would say that she's a cook and not a chef. Kelly says it's because she doesn't know what she is. So Sonja asks why she would say that if she doesn't know. Bethenny tells Kelly that she speaks without thinking and is the "most unintelligent" person she knows. It goes back and forth and Sonja brings the fight back to "sex." Kelly calls Bethenny a "ho-bag" and interviews that it's because Bethenny said she "sleeps around with America." But, what Bethenny actually said was that she has had a one-night stand before. It's not the same thing. Kelly is really an idiot. If she left the show, no one would miss her. Bethenny decides to leave the "lunatic" and goes over to the Hooters boat with the "sane people." HAHA.
Ramona is DRUNK. She's talking to one of the guys on the boat...the "owner"? I'm not so sure though, because I just saw an episode of Undercover Boss with the CEO of Hooters and it wasn't that guy. Anyhow, Ramona tells the guy that she's still HOT for her husband after 17 years of marriage. Bethenny shows up and tella Alex and Ramona what just went down on the crazy boat next door. Then Kelly and Sonja show up.
Sonja interviews that she feels like she's always the one left with Kelly...which is fine, but she wanted to calm Kelly down and be with the normal girls for awhile. Sonja tells the rest of the girls that Kelly's arguments and feud with Bethenny have no merit and that Kelly is just "a dog with a bone." Ramona slurs that she's going to shut Kelly down when she walks over to them. Ramona tells Kelly to be peaceful or not be there. Kelly says that everything is fine and she didn't have any altercations with anyone. OMG. Kelly is seriously the stupidest person on that show. And that is really saying A LOT because none of those women are particularly bright. Kelly starts to get "embarrassed" that Ramona is yelling at her and tells her to calm down. The entire time Ramona and Kelly are talking, Sonja is yelling "I would like to see Hooters Girls" over and over. HAHA.
They finally get off the Hooters Yacht and head to a local bar on St. John's. Alex, Bethenny and Ramona are dancing while Kelly and Sonja are back on the yacht going to sleep. Sonja says that it smells like cat piss and the other girls are dancing to the beat of their own drums.
See you next week!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The City, Season 3, Episode 3
"Professionally Dangerous"
BERGDORF GOODMAN
Samantha, Roxy and Whitney are having lunch at BG because they are fancy. Roxy talks about her new suitor, Zach the Photographer. She suggests Samantha that she may want to "get naked for him" since that's his "thing." I think Roxy likes him, but she's still not quite sure about it. So she's doing that thing where she talks about him and is secretly excited about him, but acts annoyed that he texts her and wants to hang out. Whitney is still under the impression that Olivia is her friend and hooked her up with the Ruelala gig with Elle.com. WRONG!! She doesn't know it yet, so this lunch is all about praise for Olivia for being "so nice." HA! Whitney tells Samantha about the gig and how Olivia is "interviewin-GAH" her for Elle.com.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Olivia goes in to see Kate, the Executive Accessories Editor, and names drops that her coat is by Mr. Armani. Obnoxious. She tells Kate about her friends, Stephanie and Jenny, who started their own company that specializes in precious stones. Olivia thinks that they will be perfect for Elle.com and Kate tells her to run with it. So, Olivia conveniently schedules that interview at the same time as Whitney's Ruelala shoot.
MILK STUDIOS
Whitney arrives at the Ruelala shoot and Erin is there with the models and photographer. Erin introduces Whitney to Jonathon, the photographer and Stacy, the rep from Ruelala. Erin says that they are taking pictures and, as soon as Olivia arrives, they'll do the interview. Kelly (!!) shows up to see what they are doing and to be Whitney's fairy godmother. Erin explains everything and Kelly wonders where Olivia is.
Where is Olivia? At Jemma Wynne, the precious stone company, interviewing her friend for Elle.com. Not good.
Kelly tells Erin to find Olivia because she needs to leave. Erin calls Olivia and discovers that Olivia is NOT COMING. So Erin has the difficult - and embarrassing - task of telling Kelly and Whitney that Olivia is not coming. Whitney is totally confused so Erin tells them that Olivia does not want to support the line. Kelly is LIVID. Kelly: "Who gives a F*** about her f***ing opinion?!?" "She is DEAD. She is f***ing DEAD. I'm going to come up like a shark underneath a glass bottom boat and rip the sh*t out of her." Erin's expression during this tirade is priceless. I love Kelly.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Erin asks Olivia why she wasn't at the Ruelala shoot. Olivia says that she told everyone well in advance that she wouldn't be there because she was interviewing another designer. Um, you just got permission to interview them that morning! She immediately says that it was a miscommunication. Erin says that if Olivia doesn't show up to do her job, no one else is there to cover. And, Erin says that it affected her because she had to tell Whitney why Olivia wasn't there. Olivia says that it's none of Erin's business and Erin says that she made it her business when she failed to show up. Olivia turns around and Erin asks her to look at her when they're having a conversation. Olivia turns back to face Erin and tells her that she needs to change her tone of voice. Olivia says she's done with the conversation and Erin says "that's very mature of you....You probably burned a lot of bridges that day." Olivia gets up and walks away.
WHITNEY'S APARTMENT
Roxy is dressed up and going out to meet Zach the Photographer for a "business meeting." Zach arrives and they all engage in small talk.
PHILLIP MARIE
Zach and Roxy have some wine and pretend like they are interested in talking about work. Roxy starts looking at pictures of her moody, "Woody Allen"- like dog and shares them with Zach. I can't believe he's really interested in her pictures. I guess a guy will feign interest in anything to get laid.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Joe calls Olivia into this office so he can bitch slap her for f***ing up the Ruelala interview. Joe is PISSED OFF. He asks Olivia what her deal was for just not showing up to Whitney's shoot. Olivia says that she was interviewing a different designer. Joe: "You do NOT get to make that decision about not showing up on an assignment. Like I don't want an entire showroom of people waiting around for YOU. That's a reflection on me. I don't understand what's running through your mind when you say you just didn't want to show up to something." Olivia tries to defend her decision saying that one editor might not like a line and another editor might love it. Joe interrupts her and says "But Olivia, I stick up for you all the time. And, honestly, in situations like this, I'm sick of it. So, I'm sorry. If you want to work here, I need you to try to make amends. Ask her out to lunch and get this done. Unless you don't think you should be working here anymore." ZING! OMG. I love Joe Zee in this episode. That was AWESOME.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Erin walks into the editing room to look at the footage from Olivia's interview with the precious stone designers. Erin totally picks it apart and ultimately decides that they can't use any of it and tells the senior producer from Elle.com to just scrap the whole thing. Nice.
PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION
Whitney and Roxy are admiring Whitney's new "office" at People's Revolution. It's basically an old closet, but Whitney is just happy not to be working out of her living room. Whitney asks about Roxy's "date" with Zach the Photographer. Roxy says he makes her nervous because he's so nice and she's not used to dating "nice" guys. Then Roxy says she still can't believe that Olivia blew off the photo shoot. Whitney says that the best thing to do is just realize that this is how Olivia is and brush it off. Roxy disagrees. Enter Kelly Cutrone (!!). Kelly asks if Olivia has called to apologize yet and Whitney tells her that they are supposed to meet for lunch today. Whitney says that she's unsure how to handle it. And this is why I love Kelly.
Kelly: "I'm going to set this really straight. You're going to go there. You need to f***ing take this bitch out. She's under your skin. So now you have to say 'I'm not this nice girl from California. And now you're gonna meet the real me.' Because you need to let people who are toxic and dangerous to you know that you will f***ing fight back. 'Cuz you know where nice people end up? On welfare...So you need to go to her and say 'Listen, I will destroy you.'" Then she points at Roxy and says that she will help Whitney because "she's more wicked than you." LOVE KELLY.
Whitney asks if that's the professional way of going about it. Kelly says that Olivia is "professionally dangerous" to Whitney and that she's "like a little petty tyrant. Scare the sh*t out of her. And don't ever do it in writing or in email. Good luck." I want Kelly to be my mentor. Too bad I'm not a fashion junkie.
FIG & OLIVE
Olivia and Whitney meet for lunch. They make small talk and Olivia says she's looking for young designers. Whitney says "Like me. Just .... not me." Olivia says "Exactly. Like you." Then Olivia brings up the photo shoot and says it was all a miscommunication because she had sent out an email well in advance that she would not be able to make it. Then Olivia tries to quickly change the subject and asks Whitney to tell her about her line.
Whitney is not letting go that easily. She tells Olivia that she heard that Olivia was refusing to support her line. Olivia keeps looking at - what I assume is - the camera and says that she doesn't want to talk about it. It's clear Olivia feels uncomfortable that this is being recorded. She expected "docile" Whitney, not "prepped by Kelly and Roxy" Whitney. Whitney says that Olivia doesn't have to be immature about it and that hit a nerve. Olivia denies that she's being immature. Whitney asks why Olivia wouldn't call her personally to tell her she wasn't going to make it. Olivia says she's not going to engage in this conversation (still looking at the cameras uncomfortably). Whitney tells her not to act so childish. Again, this hits a nerve.
Olivia again says "miscommunication" and Whitney says that all of Olivia's excuses don't mean anything to her. Olivia looks really uncomfortable. She quickly says "we'll talk about this later." Whitney keeps calling her out and telling her that she handled everything very immaturely and that she's making all these excuses because she looks like a complete bitch. Olivia gets up, grabs her bag and takes off. Whitney calls her a coward as she walks away. Olivia got beat up this episode. It was awesome. I love it!
See you next week.
BERGDORF GOODMAN
Samantha, Roxy and Whitney are having lunch at BG because they are fancy. Roxy talks about her new suitor, Zach the Photographer. She suggests Samantha that she may want to "get naked for him" since that's his "thing." I think Roxy likes him, but she's still not quite sure about it. So she's doing that thing where she talks about him and is secretly excited about him, but acts annoyed that he texts her and wants to hang out. Whitney is still under the impression that Olivia is her friend and hooked her up with the Ruelala gig with Elle.com. WRONG!! She doesn't know it yet, so this lunch is all about praise for Olivia for being "so nice." HA! Whitney tells Samantha about the gig and how Olivia is "interviewin-GAH" her for Elle.com.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Olivia goes in to see Kate, the Executive Accessories Editor, and names drops that her coat is by Mr. Armani. Obnoxious. She tells Kate about her friends, Stephanie and Jenny, who started their own company that specializes in precious stones. Olivia thinks that they will be perfect for Elle.com and Kate tells her to run with it. So, Olivia conveniently schedules that interview at the same time as Whitney's Ruelala shoot.
MILK STUDIOS
Whitney arrives at the Ruelala shoot and Erin is there with the models and photographer. Erin introduces Whitney to Jonathon, the photographer and Stacy, the rep from Ruelala. Erin says that they are taking pictures and, as soon as Olivia arrives, they'll do the interview. Kelly (!!) shows up to see what they are doing and to be Whitney's fairy godmother. Erin explains everything and Kelly wonders where Olivia is.
Where is Olivia? At Jemma Wynne, the precious stone company, interviewing her friend for Elle.com. Not good.
Kelly tells Erin to find Olivia because she needs to leave. Erin calls Olivia and discovers that Olivia is NOT COMING. So Erin has the difficult - and embarrassing - task of telling Kelly and Whitney that Olivia is not coming. Whitney is totally confused so Erin tells them that Olivia does not want to support the line. Kelly is LIVID. Kelly: "Who gives a F*** about her f***ing opinion?!?" "She is DEAD. She is f***ing DEAD. I'm going to come up like a shark underneath a glass bottom boat and rip the sh*t out of her." Erin's expression during this tirade is priceless. I love Kelly.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Erin asks Olivia why she wasn't at the Ruelala shoot. Olivia says that she told everyone well in advance that she wouldn't be there because she was interviewing another designer. Um, you just got permission to interview them that morning! She immediately says that it was a miscommunication. Erin says that if Olivia doesn't show up to do her job, no one else is there to cover. And, Erin says that it affected her because she had to tell Whitney why Olivia wasn't there. Olivia says that it's none of Erin's business and Erin says that she made it her business when she failed to show up. Olivia turns around and Erin asks her to look at her when they're having a conversation. Olivia turns back to face Erin and tells her that she needs to change her tone of voice. Olivia says she's done with the conversation and Erin says "that's very mature of you....You probably burned a lot of bridges that day." Olivia gets up and walks away.
WHITNEY'S APARTMENT
Roxy is dressed up and going out to meet Zach the Photographer for a "business meeting." Zach arrives and they all engage in small talk.
PHILLIP MARIE
Zach and Roxy have some wine and pretend like they are interested in talking about work. Roxy starts looking at pictures of her moody, "Woody Allen"- like dog and shares them with Zach. I can't believe he's really interested in her pictures. I guess a guy will feign interest in anything to get laid.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Joe calls Olivia into this office so he can bitch slap her for f***ing up the Ruelala interview. Joe is PISSED OFF. He asks Olivia what her deal was for just not showing up to Whitney's shoot. Olivia says that she was interviewing a different designer. Joe: "You do NOT get to make that decision about not showing up on an assignment. Like I don't want an entire showroom of people waiting around for YOU. That's a reflection on me. I don't understand what's running through your mind when you say you just didn't want to show up to something." Olivia tries to defend her decision saying that one editor might not like a line and another editor might love it. Joe interrupts her and says "But Olivia, I stick up for you all the time. And, honestly, in situations like this, I'm sick of it. So, I'm sorry. If you want to work here, I need you to try to make amends. Ask her out to lunch and get this done. Unless you don't think you should be working here anymore." ZING! OMG. I love Joe Zee in this episode. That was AWESOME.
ELLE MAGAZINE
Erin walks into the editing room to look at the footage from Olivia's interview with the precious stone designers. Erin totally picks it apart and ultimately decides that they can't use any of it and tells the senior producer from Elle.com to just scrap the whole thing. Nice.
PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION
Whitney and Roxy are admiring Whitney's new "office" at People's Revolution. It's basically an old closet, but Whitney is just happy not to be working out of her living room. Whitney asks about Roxy's "date" with Zach the Photographer. Roxy says he makes her nervous because he's so nice and she's not used to dating "nice" guys. Then Roxy says she still can't believe that Olivia blew off the photo shoot. Whitney says that the best thing to do is just realize that this is how Olivia is and brush it off. Roxy disagrees. Enter Kelly Cutrone (!!). Kelly asks if Olivia has called to apologize yet and Whitney tells her that they are supposed to meet for lunch today. Whitney says that she's unsure how to handle it. And this is why I love Kelly.
Kelly: "I'm going to set this really straight. You're going to go there. You need to f***ing take this bitch out. She's under your skin. So now you have to say 'I'm not this nice girl from California. And now you're gonna meet the real me.' Because you need to let people who are toxic and dangerous to you know that you will f***ing fight back. 'Cuz you know where nice people end up? On welfare...So you need to go to her and say 'Listen, I will destroy you.'" Then she points at Roxy and says that she will help Whitney because "she's more wicked than you." LOVE KELLY.
Whitney asks if that's the professional way of going about it. Kelly says that Olivia is "professionally dangerous" to Whitney and that she's "like a little petty tyrant. Scare the sh*t out of her. And don't ever do it in writing or in email. Good luck." I want Kelly to be my mentor. Too bad I'm not a fashion junkie.
FIG & OLIVE
Olivia and Whitney meet for lunch. They make small talk and Olivia says she's looking for young designers. Whitney says "Like me. Just .... not me." Olivia says "Exactly. Like you." Then Olivia brings up the photo shoot and says it was all a miscommunication because she had sent out an email well in advance that she would not be able to make it. Then Olivia tries to quickly change the subject and asks Whitney to tell her about her line.
Whitney is not letting go that easily. She tells Olivia that she heard that Olivia was refusing to support her line. Olivia keeps looking at - what I assume is - the camera and says that she doesn't want to talk about it. It's clear Olivia feels uncomfortable that this is being recorded. She expected "docile" Whitney, not "prepped by Kelly and Roxy" Whitney. Whitney says that Olivia doesn't have to be immature about it and that hit a nerve. Olivia denies that she's being immature. Whitney asks why Olivia wouldn't call her personally to tell her she wasn't going to make it. Olivia says she's not going to engage in this conversation (still looking at the cameras uncomfortably). Whitney tells her not to act so childish. Again, this hits a nerve.
Olivia again says "miscommunication" and Whitney says that all of Olivia's excuses don't mean anything to her. Olivia looks really uncomfortable. She quickly says "we'll talk about this later." Whitney keeps calling her out and telling her that she handled everything very immaturely and that she's making all these excuses because she looks like a complete bitch. Olivia gets up, grabs her bag and takes off. Whitney calls her a coward as she walks away. Olivia got beat up this episode. It was awesome. I love it!
See you next week.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The Hills, Season 6, Episode 3
"The Elephant in the Room"
KRISTIN
Kristin and Brody are hanging out on the beach. Sponge Bob and Real Doll are throwing a birthday party for their neighbor, little Enzo. They comment on how weird it is that Real Doll is throwing their 6 year old neighbor a party. Yeah, that's really weird. Kristin brings up Audrina and Brody gets quiet. She tells him that she thinks Audrina and Ryan Cabrera are more serious than they let on. Brody is not happy to hear that and Kristin is a little bummed that he's disappointed. Wah-wah.
REAL DOLL
Real Doll is planning Enzo's 7th birthday with the party planner, Lisa, and talks to her about having animals and wizards. Sponge Bob - who I may need to rename later on - asks Real Doll what is going on. She tells him that she's planning Enzo's party and Sponge Bob says that he thought it was something small, not something that required a party planner. Then Real Doll says that she's sure Sponge Bob's mom threw him big parties when he was a little boy. Sponge Bob says the only smart thing this season: "Key word is MOM! His mom lives down the street." Seriously. WTF is Real Doll doing?
BRODY
Brody, Frankie and Taylor are at some auto shop drooling over Brody's new car. Well, it's a classic, but I'm not sure what model/year. Taylor comments that Kristin will look great in the passenger seat and Brody says "been there, done that." He loves Kristin but he's not interested.
LUCKY STRIKE, LA
It's time to go bowling. Brody, Frankie, Charlie, Audrina, Ryan Cabrera, Kristin, and, of course, Stacie the Bartender are all bowling. Audrina and Ryan Cabrera talk about how Brody has a crush on her. Ryan Cabrera is clearly uncomfortable around Brody, so they leave. I can't tell if Kristin is annoyed that they left or not. Weird.
THE PRATTS
HOLY OUT OF CONTROL PARTY! Ok, Real Doll is nuts. She went way overboard with this kid's birthday. HE'S NOT YOUR SON!!! I'd be worried if I was his mother. Creepy. She's got a bounce house, goats, food, clowns and A FREAKING ELEPHANT. I'm not even kidding. She and Enzo are riding an elephant IN HER BACK YARD. I apologize for all the yelling, I'm just totally in shock right now. This is ridiculous. I'm thoroughly convinced that Sponge Bob and Real Doll are on some serious drugs. This is not normal behavior. Brody, Taylor, Charlie and Frankie are standing around tripping on the fact that there is an elephant in the yard. HAHA. Me too!
AUDRINA & KRISTIN
These ladies are bff now, I guess. They are shoe shopping and chatting. Kristin asks Audrina what the deal is with her and Ryan Cabrera. Audrina tells her that she felt an instant connection with him and that it was just natural. Kristin encourages Audrina to lock it down and have "the talk" with him and hopefully, he will commit to her. Kristin just wants to eliminate Audrina as competition for her with Brody. Then they discuss whether or not to attend Enzo's party. They think Sponge Bob has lost it and there's nothing they can do. They can't reach out to Real Doll because Sponge Bob controls her and is always around.
THE PRATTS
Wow. Sponge Bob has LOST HIS SHIT. First he says that this is the most fun he's had at a party in a long time because he doesn't want to murder anyone. Then he says he's going to send some kid who is shooting a toy gun out to Colorado to shoot Real Doll's mom because she "emotionally raped" Real Doll when she went out to visit. I cannot believe Real Doll is just sitting there while Sponge Bob goes on his rant. He's insane and she's so heavily medicated. These two are headed to a really dark place ... and soon.
Real Doll steps in and says that her mom was totally selfish and not concerned about Real Doll at all. Holly jumps in and says that their mom was concerned and loves Real Doll and was just taken off guard by all that was done. Sponge Bob jumps in and tells Holly that if she continues to defend "Darlene," he's going to ask her to leave. He seriously has lost his shit. Real Doll keeps telling him to take a breath. But Sponge Bob needs to take a tranquilizer. I don't think "a breath" is going to cut it. Frankie and Brody are embarrassed and look horrified at Sponge Bob. Holly comments that she needs a drink. Sponge Bob looks like he's about to go postal on someone. And Real Doll has lost the ability to have an expression.
AUDRINA
Audrina and Ryan Cabrera are having dinner. He tells her that he feels weird about Brody and the way he acts towards him. Ryan Cabrera doesn't want any drama. She asks Ryan Cabrera if they are exclusive and he asks her if she thought that they weren't. She said she kind of knew it already. Ryan Cabrera tells her that the moment they started hanging out, he didn't even want to look at another girl. She tells him that she is really happy and they hug and kiss. As much as I can't stand Ryan Cabrera, I'm actually glad Audrina is finally happy with a guy. (Notice that I'm not calling her Ceiling Eyes anymore. If she starts going back to being a dumbass, the nickname will return).
KRISTIN
She meets up with Brody for drinks. He gives her a recap of Enzo's birthday party and how awkward it was and how crazy Sponge Bob was. It's weird that Brody and Kristin introduced Real Doll and Sponge Bob. And now look at them....they got married and turned psycho. Kristin asks Brody if he hooked up with Audrina. Then she immediately says that she doesn't care. Which is a lie. She obviously cares or she wouldn't ask. Then Brody says "Ryan Cabrera? Really?" Which was my initial reaction. But now that I've seen them together and how happy they are, I've accepted it. I still think his head is almost as big as Audrina's torso, but whatever makes her happy. It's not like he's rich or anything, so she must actually like him. Not my type, but like I said, whatever makes her happy.
THE PRATTS
Holly is visiting with Real Doll. Real Doll asks if Holly is ok and Holly tells her that she was shocked by some of the things Sponge Bob was saying at the party. Before Real Doll can answer, Sponge Bob comes into the room and interrupts them. Real Doll looks so sedated and has no expression whatsoever. Holly thinks that she can talk calmly with Sponge Bob like an adult and that he will be able to remain calm. She is wrong. She begins by saying that she thought he had enough respect for her by now to refrain from speaking negatively about her mom in front of her. Sponge Bob takes a deep breath and tells her he was proud of himself for not saying and doing what he really wanted to do to Holly at the party. He was praying - like he does everyday - that he would not do what he really wanted to do. Yikes. Way to threaten your sister-in-law.
Sponge Bob says that their mom is just the "vagina that they came out of" and nothing more. Holly yells that he's disrespectful and the bible says to honor thy mother and father. So he should practice what he preaches. Sponge Bob says that he's not in bible school and Holly says that they are always preaching to her, so they should take their own advice. Sponge Bob loses it and tells Holly that she's not Real Doll's sister or friend. He tells her she's a LIAR and then walks out of the house and slams the door. Real Doll is shouting at him to calm down and that he's out of line. When he leaves Holly starts crying and tells Real Doll that she's scared of him and that he's always around and she doesn't even have Real Doll's number. The entire time, Real Doll has NO EXPRESSION. She says she doesn't want to deal with this anymore. As I look at Real Doll, I'm noticing that her eyes are kind of messed up. Like one eye is bigger than the other. There's something off about her eyes.
As Holly leaves the house, Sponge Bob yells "Just so we're clear, you're not welcome here anymore. Next time, I'll call the police." CRAZY. He's on some serious drugs. Real Doll is just sedated and on pain meds and has no expressions anymore. Sponge is just doing some serious prescription pills. He's lost it.
THIS JUST IN: Further evidence that the Pratts are the king and queen of Crazytown, USA: Real Doll called the cops on her MOTHER when she came to their home unannounced today!!!
KRISTIN
Kristin and Brody are hanging out on the beach. Sponge Bob and Real Doll are throwing a birthday party for their neighbor, little Enzo. They comment on how weird it is that Real Doll is throwing their 6 year old neighbor a party. Yeah, that's really weird. Kristin brings up Audrina and Brody gets quiet. She tells him that she thinks Audrina and Ryan Cabrera are more serious than they let on. Brody is not happy to hear that and Kristin is a little bummed that he's disappointed. Wah-wah.
REAL DOLL
Real Doll is planning Enzo's 7th birthday with the party planner, Lisa, and talks to her about having animals and wizards. Sponge Bob - who I may need to rename later on - asks Real Doll what is going on. She tells him that she's planning Enzo's party and Sponge Bob says that he thought it was something small, not something that required a party planner. Then Real Doll says that she's sure Sponge Bob's mom threw him big parties when he was a little boy. Sponge Bob says the only smart thing this season: "Key word is MOM! His mom lives down the street." Seriously. WTF is Real Doll doing?
BRODY
Brody, Frankie and Taylor are at some auto shop drooling over Brody's new car. Well, it's a classic, but I'm not sure what model/year. Taylor comments that Kristin will look great in the passenger seat and Brody says "been there, done that." He loves Kristin but he's not interested.
LUCKY STRIKE, LA
It's time to go bowling. Brody, Frankie, Charlie, Audrina, Ryan Cabrera, Kristin, and, of course, Stacie the Bartender are all bowling. Audrina and Ryan Cabrera talk about how Brody has a crush on her. Ryan Cabrera is clearly uncomfortable around Brody, so they leave. I can't tell if Kristin is annoyed that they left or not. Weird.
THE PRATTS
HOLY OUT OF CONTROL PARTY! Ok, Real Doll is nuts. She went way overboard with this kid's birthday. HE'S NOT YOUR SON!!! I'd be worried if I was his mother. Creepy. She's got a bounce house, goats, food, clowns and A FREAKING ELEPHANT. I'm not even kidding. She and Enzo are riding an elephant IN HER BACK YARD. I apologize for all the yelling, I'm just totally in shock right now. This is ridiculous. I'm thoroughly convinced that Sponge Bob and Real Doll are on some serious drugs. This is not normal behavior. Brody, Taylor, Charlie and Frankie are standing around tripping on the fact that there is an elephant in the yard. HAHA. Me too!
AUDRINA & KRISTIN
These ladies are bff now, I guess. They are shoe shopping and chatting. Kristin asks Audrina what the deal is with her and Ryan Cabrera. Audrina tells her that she felt an instant connection with him and that it was just natural. Kristin encourages Audrina to lock it down and have "the talk" with him and hopefully, he will commit to her. Kristin just wants to eliminate Audrina as competition for her with Brody. Then they discuss whether or not to attend Enzo's party. They think Sponge Bob has lost it and there's nothing they can do. They can't reach out to Real Doll because Sponge Bob controls her and is always around.
THE PRATTS
Wow. Sponge Bob has LOST HIS SHIT. First he says that this is the most fun he's had at a party in a long time because he doesn't want to murder anyone. Then he says he's going to send some kid who is shooting a toy gun out to Colorado to shoot Real Doll's mom because she "emotionally raped" Real Doll when she went out to visit. I cannot believe Real Doll is just sitting there while Sponge Bob goes on his rant. He's insane and she's so heavily medicated. These two are headed to a really dark place ... and soon.
Real Doll steps in and says that her mom was totally selfish and not concerned about Real Doll at all. Holly jumps in and says that their mom was concerned and loves Real Doll and was just taken off guard by all that was done. Sponge Bob jumps in and tells Holly that if she continues to defend "Darlene," he's going to ask her to leave. He seriously has lost his shit. Real Doll keeps telling him to take a breath. But Sponge Bob needs to take a tranquilizer. I don't think "a breath" is going to cut it. Frankie and Brody are embarrassed and look horrified at Sponge Bob. Holly comments that she needs a drink. Sponge Bob looks like he's about to go postal on someone. And Real Doll has lost the ability to have an expression.
AUDRINA
Audrina and Ryan Cabrera are having dinner. He tells her that he feels weird about Brody and the way he acts towards him. Ryan Cabrera doesn't want any drama. She asks Ryan Cabrera if they are exclusive and he asks her if she thought that they weren't. She said she kind of knew it already. Ryan Cabrera tells her that the moment they started hanging out, he didn't even want to look at another girl. She tells him that she is really happy and they hug and kiss. As much as I can't stand Ryan Cabrera, I'm actually glad Audrina is finally happy with a guy. (Notice that I'm not calling her Ceiling Eyes anymore. If she starts going back to being a dumbass, the nickname will return).
KRISTIN
She meets up with Brody for drinks. He gives her a recap of Enzo's birthday party and how awkward it was and how crazy Sponge Bob was. It's weird that Brody and Kristin introduced Real Doll and Sponge Bob. And now look at them....they got married and turned psycho. Kristin asks Brody if he hooked up with Audrina. Then she immediately says that she doesn't care. Which is a lie. She obviously cares or she wouldn't ask. Then Brody says "Ryan Cabrera? Really?" Which was my initial reaction. But now that I've seen them together and how happy they are, I've accepted it. I still think his head is almost as big as Audrina's torso, but whatever makes her happy. It's not like he's rich or anything, so she must actually like him. Not my type, but like I said, whatever makes her happy.
THE PRATTS
Holly is visiting with Real Doll. Real Doll asks if Holly is ok and Holly tells her that she was shocked by some of the things Sponge Bob was saying at the party. Before Real Doll can answer, Sponge Bob comes into the room and interrupts them. Real Doll looks so sedated and has no expression whatsoever. Holly thinks that she can talk calmly with Sponge Bob like an adult and that he will be able to remain calm. She is wrong. She begins by saying that she thought he had enough respect for her by now to refrain from speaking negatively about her mom in front of her. Sponge Bob takes a deep breath and tells her he was proud of himself for not saying and doing what he really wanted to do to Holly at the party. He was praying - like he does everyday - that he would not do what he really wanted to do. Yikes. Way to threaten your sister-in-law.
Sponge Bob says that their mom is just the "vagina that they came out of" and nothing more. Holly yells that he's disrespectful and the bible says to honor thy mother and father. So he should practice what he preaches. Sponge Bob says that he's not in bible school and Holly says that they are always preaching to her, so they should take their own advice. Sponge Bob loses it and tells Holly that she's not Real Doll's sister or friend. He tells her she's a LIAR and then walks out of the house and slams the door. Real Doll is shouting at him to calm down and that he's out of line. When he leaves Holly starts crying and tells Real Doll that she's scared of him and that he's always around and she doesn't even have Real Doll's number. The entire time, Real Doll has NO EXPRESSION. She says she doesn't want to deal with this anymore. As I look at Real Doll, I'm noticing that her eyes are kind of messed up. Like one eye is bigger than the other. There's something off about her eyes.
As Holly leaves the house, Sponge Bob yells "Just so we're clear, you're not welcome here anymore. Next time, I'll call the police." CRAZY. He's on some serious drugs. Real Doll is just sedated and on pain meds and has no expressions anymore. Sponge is just doing some serious prescription pills. He's lost it.
THIS JUST IN: Further evidence that the Pratts are the king and queen of Crazytown, USA: Real Doll called the cops on her MOTHER when she came to their home unannounced today!!!
Real Housewives of New Jersey - Season 2 - Episode 2
"Generation Vexed"
DANIELLE
Karin, Danielle's realtor, comes over to see her. Danielle informs us that she needs to sell her house and give half the proceeds to her ex-husband. Karin is walking around all the rooms to see what Danielle needs to fix up before they show the house. It's a mess. It totally looks like it's falling apart on the inside. Danielle doesn't have "time" to fix it all up before it gets shown. Really? Why? What is it that you do?
Danielle starts crying that she needs to get out of the house but doesn't want to put money that she doesn't have into it to fix it up. She asks Karin to talk to her ex about fixing it up. Dina interviews that she feels bad for Danielle, in particular, her children.
TERESA
Jacqueline and Caroline are waiting for Teresa to show up for their lunch date, but she's running late as usual. She finally shows up and looks fantastic. She starts talking about her husband bugging her to have sex. Gross. Teresa changes the subject and asks Jacqueline if she's seen or talked to Danielle. Jacqueline feels uncomfortable talking about Danielle. Caroline says that Danielle's kids are socially awkward. Jacqueline tells Caroline that she's crossed the line and she needs to keep Danielle's kids out of everything.
Teresa talks about the court documents that state Danielle kidnapped a kid for ransom and was caught with 10 kilos of cocaine. OMG. Are we still stuck on her past??? Seriously. It happened 20+ years ago. MOVE ON, PEOPLE. Yes, I still think Danielle is crazy and I would not be friends with her, but leave her alone already. Jeez. We get it, she's done bad shit. Jacqueline says that it was many, many years ago. Caroline says that she KIDNAPPED someone many years ago. People don't do that. Well, I see her point. Caroline says tells Jacqueline she is the weakest link and that's why Danielle contacts her.
CAROLINE
The three kids have a food fight in the kitchen. Caroline comes in and says "No more ham game!" Haha. They all start talking about Lauren and Vito (Albie's best friend). Albie says that it's weird that his best friend is dating his sister. Caroline tells us that they need to work it out.
JACQUELINE
Ashley comes over and brings her laundry with her. Ashley is 18 and tells Jacqueline that she goes out to clubs and drinks. Why are you telling your mom this? Not ok. Especially Jacqueline. She's a total worrier. As Jacqueline talks to her, Ashley gets up and gets her cell phone. They start arguing because Jacqueline wants to make sure she's being safe. Ashley tells her mom that if she wanted to argue with her, she would just live at home. So, Jacqueline says "Ok, bye. And take your laundry with you. " HA.
DANIELLE
Danielle tells her daughter, Christine, that IMG Models wants her to model for them. Danielle is super excited for her. Caroline has a point...Christine is a little socially awkward. She's still adorable and a good kid given her mom's craziness.
DINA
Dina meets Jacqueline at a baby store. They don't know if Teresa is having a boy or a girl. So they are trying to figure out what to get her for the baby. Jacqueline tells Dina that Ashley moved out. Jacqueline vents that Ashley doesn't want to hear anything she has to say. It's just hard to communicate with her right now. Dina asks if she ever considered kicking her ass. HAHA. They laugh, but I think Dina is serious.
TERESA
Teresa brings Gia to a try-out for fashion week at THINKPR. The fashion show is for ELLE Magazine. The publicist asks her if she's ever heard of Elle and she says no. Then she has Gia get up to "walk." She asks if Gia will be ok walking in front of a lot of people. Gia says that she's been in pageants in front of 300-400 people so she's fine with it. Gia looks a little "rough" and her scratchy voice doesn't help. She doesn't really have a soft or graceful look about her. She does her catwalk and it's good. Danielle interviews that Gia is "not a supermodel." Well, she's right.
DANIELLE
Christine is at her photo shoot with Gilles Bensimon (HAHA! Kelly's ex! When worlds collide. Wow, he's OLD!). Danielle calls him GOD. Oh jeez. Christine is up for the cover of "the Daily" which in the fashion world is the bible...according to Danielle. Christine is a little uncomfortable with her mom being there the whole time. Danielle keeps saying that her daughter is "smoking hot" and "gorgeous" and "she looks like a Barbie doll." Gilles Bensimon tells Danielle that he wants to take her photo and I think Christine feels that her mom is taking away her moment.
CAROLINE
Greg, Albie's friend, is over at the house with Albie. Vito and Lauren walk in and Albie is trying to take the high road. Albie is not ok with it. He tells Vito and Greg to go with him in the kitchen so they can talk about it. Albie says that it's a little weird and that it's the first rule of friendship. He's afraid of what happens if they break up. Albie says that he doesn't want to see anything and Vito tells him that he has respect, so no worries.
DANIELLE
Danielle is with Christine at IMG Models meeting Ivan Bart who is Christine's agent. Christine is on the COVER of "the Daily." Danielle is going to ride her daughter's coat tails with this one. Ivan wants her to do a show at Fashion Week. He gives Danielle props for being there with her daughter. Where the hell else is she going to be??? She has nothing else to do so, of course, she's going to follow Christine wherever she goes. Um, what about your OTHER daughter, Jillian?? Are you going to drag her along, too?
JACQUELINE
The ladies are talking to Teresa and trying to guess what she's going to have. Nicholas has the funniest look on his face. HAHA. Teresa is talking about her "area" looking bad while she's giving birth. I would think that what you look like down there is the least of your worries when you're giving birth.
DANIELLE
She wants to have a celebratory luncheon in Christine's honor for getting the cover of "the Daily." Wow. Danielle is not wasting any time spending whatever Christine earned for that cover, is she? Christine says that she doesn't want Caroline there and Danielle agrees. Danielle thinks she wants to invite Dina and Jacqueline. Christine just doesn't want drama. Jillian asks if any of Christine's friends are coming and Danielle says that it's not really Christine's party. It's more of a party for Danielle to show off her pride for her daughter. Christine: "Then invite whoever you want." Seriously. Why are you even asking her if it's your thing? Dumb.
Danielle calls Dina to invite her to "the luncheon for Danielle to show off her daughter." Dina says that she may have an obligation, but she'll get back to Danielle. Next up is Jacqueline. She tells Danielle that she's happy for her and really happy for Christine and she would love to be there to support Danielle ... but it's just awkward with her husband right now and she doesn't think it's a good idea. Danielle says she respects that and just wanted to extend the invitation. Then, Danielle interviews that she was disappointed in Jacqueline's response. When Jacqueline tells Danielle to tell Christine that she's proud of her, Danielle tells Jacqueline to tell her herself. Way to "respect" her decision, Danielle. Caroline interviews that she doesn't understand why Dina and Jacqueline have a "gray" area with Danielle when neither of them want to be friends with her. She says that Danielle didn't invite Caroline to her luncheon because she didn't want Caroline to be there and Caroline didn't want to be there.
TERESA
Gia gets the show at Fashion Week!! She tells Joe about the modeling gig and he could NOT be less interested. He's chopping garlic and making noise as Teresa is trying to tell him about it. HAHA. Teresa tells Gia and she SCREAMS! Oy.
DANIELLE
Danielle arrives at her luncheon to "honor Christine." All of Danielle's friends start to arrive, including Kim "D" (who you will remember denied being her friend at Caroline's party). Danielle thanks everyone for coming and gives everyone a copy of the magazine which includes the picture she took with Christine. UGH. Christine interviews that Danielle's luncheon was not for Christine. It was so that Danielle could show off and brag to her friends. Exactly. Sad.
Danielle announces to her 12 or so friends that the two empty chairs were for Jacqueline and Dina who decided not to show up and support her. Awkward. Dina interviews that she doesn't understand why she had a chair for her because she told her ahead of time that she was not going to be there. So did Jacqueline. Drama!! I'm with Jacqueline's husband...cut the drama out of your life. Danielle tells everyone that Jacqueline's husband prefers that she not attend gatherings if Danielle will be there. WHY?? Why would you tells everyone these details?? Seriously? It just makes you look crazier. OMG. Stop talking about it.
Danielle tells another Kim that she was made painfully aware that she and Caroline were friends. Kim tells her that her son is friends with Caroline's son, Chris, but she and Caroline are not friends. This is not Kim "D" by the way. Danielle tells her that she just doesn't want to make her feel like she's in the middle. I'm embarrassed for Danielle. Danielle says that she keeps all of her friends very close to her. Wait until she sees the footage of Kim "D" trashing her.
See you next week.
DANIELLE
Karin, Danielle's realtor, comes over to see her. Danielle informs us that she needs to sell her house and give half the proceeds to her ex-husband. Karin is walking around all the rooms to see what Danielle needs to fix up before they show the house. It's a mess. It totally looks like it's falling apart on the inside. Danielle doesn't have "time" to fix it all up before it gets shown. Really? Why? What is it that you do?
Danielle starts crying that she needs to get out of the house but doesn't want to put money that she doesn't have into it to fix it up. She asks Karin to talk to her ex about fixing it up. Dina interviews that she feels bad for Danielle, in particular, her children.
TERESA
Jacqueline and Caroline are waiting for Teresa to show up for their lunch date, but she's running late as usual. She finally shows up and looks fantastic. She starts talking about her husband bugging her to have sex. Gross. Teresa changes the subject and asks Jacqueline if she's seen or talked to Danielle. Jacqueline feels uncomfortable talking about Danielle. Caroline says that Danielle's kids are socially awkward. Jacqueline tells Caroline that she's crossed the line and she needs to keep Danielle's kids out of everything.
Teresa talks about the court documents that state Danielle kidnapped a kid for ransom and was caught with 10 kilos of cocaine. OMG. Are we still stuck on her past??? Seriously. It happened 20+ years ago. MOVE ON, PEOPLE. Yes, I still think Danielle is crazy and I would not be friends with her, but leave her alone already. Jeez. We get it, she's done bad shit. Jacqueline says that it was many, many years ago. Caroline says that she KIDNAPPED someone many years ago. People don't do that. Well, I see her point. Caroline says tells Jacqueline she is the weakest link and that's why Danielle contacts her.
CAROLINE
The three kids have a food fight in the kitchen. Caroline comes in and says "No more ham game!" Haha. They all start talking about Lauren and Vito (Albie's best friend). Albie says that it's weird that his best friend is dating his sister. Caroline tells us that they need to work it out.
JACQUELINE
Ashley comes over and brings her laundry with her. Ashley is 18 and tells Jacqueline that she goes out to clubs and drinks. Why are you telling your mom this? Not ok. Especially Jacqueline. She's a total worrier. As Jacqueline talks to her, Ashley gets up and gets her cell phone. They start arguing because Jacqueline wants to make sure she's being safe. Ashley tells her mom that if she wanted to argue with her, she would just live at home. So, Jacqueline says "Ok, bye. And take your laundry with you. " HA.
DANIELLE
Danielle tells her daughter, Christine, that IMG Models wants her to model for them. Danielle is super excited for her. Caroline has a point...Christine is a little socially awkward. She's still adorable and a good kid given her mom's craziness.
DINA
Dina meets Jacqueline at a baby store. They don't know if Teresa is having a boy or a girl. So they are trying to figure out what to get her for the baby. Jacqueline tells Dina that Ashley moved out. Jacqueline vents that Ashley doesn't want to hear anything she has to say. It's just hard to communicate with her right now. Dina asks if she ever considered kicking her ass. HAHA. They laugh, but I think Dina is serious.
TERESA
Teresa brings Gia to a try-out for fashion week at THINKPR. The fashion show is for ELLE Magazine. The publicist asks her if she's ever heard of Elle and she says no. Then she has Gia get up to "walk." She asks if Gia will be ok walking in front of a lot of people. Gia says that she's been in pageants in front of 300-400 people so she's fine with it. Gia looks a little "rough" and her scratchy voice doesn't help. She doesn't really have a soft or graceful look about her. She does her catwalk and it's good. Danielle interviews that Gia is "not a supermodel." Well, she's right.
DANIELLE
Christine is at her photo shoot with Gilles Bensimon (HAHA! Kelly's ex! When worlds collide. Wow, he's OLD!). Danielle calls him GOD. Oh jeez. Christine is up for the cover of "the Daily" which in the fashion world is the bible...according to Danielle. Christine is a little uncomfortable with her mom being there the whole time. Danielle keeps saying that her daughter is "smoking hot" and "gorgeous" and "she looks like a Barbie doll." Gilles Bensimon tells Danielle that he wants to take her photo and I think Christine feels that her mom is taking away her moment.
CAROLINE
Greg, Albie's friend, is over at the house with Albie. Vito and Lauren walk in and Albie is trying to take the high road. Albie is not ok with it. He tells Vito and Greg to go with him in the kitchen so they can talk about it. Albie says that it's a little weird and that it's the first rule of friendship. He's afraid of what happens if they break up. Albie says that he doesn't want to see anything and Vito tells him that he has respect, so no worries.
DANIELLE
Danielle is with Christine at IMG Models meeting Ivan Bart who is Christine's agent. Christine is on the COVER of "the Daily." Danielle is going to ride her daughter's coat tails with this one. Ivan wants her to do a show at Fashion Week. He gives Danielle props for being there with her daughter. Where the hell else is she going to be??? She has nothing else to do so, of course, she's going to follow Christine wherever she goes. Um, what about your OTHER daughter, Jillian?? Are you going to drag her along, too?
JACQUELINE
The ladies are talking to Teresa and trying to guess what she's going to have. Nicholas has the funniest look on his face. HAHA. Teresa is talking about her "area" looking bad while she's giving birth. I would think that what you look like down there is the least of your worries when you're giving birth.
DANIELLE
She wants to have a celebratory luncheon in Christine's honor for getting the cover of "the Daily." Wow. Danielle is not wasting any time spending whatever Christine earned for that cover, is she? Christine says that she doesn't want Caroline there and Danielle agrees. Danielle thinks she wants to invite Dina and Jacqueline. Christine just doesn't want drama. Jillian asks if any of Christine's friends are coming and Danielle says that it's not really Christine's party. It's more of a party for Danielle to show off her pride for her daughter. Christine: "Then invite whoever you want." Seriously. Why are you even asking her if it's your thing? Dumb.
Danielle calls Dina to invite her to "the luncheon for Danielle to show off her daughter." Dina says that she may have an obligation, but she'll get back to Danielle. Next up is Jacqueline. She tells Danielle that she's happy for her and really happy for Christine and she would love to be there to support Danielle ... but it's just awkward with her husband right now and she doesn't think it's a good idea. Danielle says she respects that and just wanted to extend the invitation. Then, Danielle interviews that she was disappointed in Jacqueline's response. When Jacqueline tells Danielle to tell Christine that she's proud of her, Danielle tells Jacqueline to tell her herself. Way to "respect" her decision, Danielle. Caroline interviews that she doesn't understand why Dina and Jacqueline have a "gray" area with Danielle when neither of them want to be friends with her. She says that Danielle didn't invite Caroline to her luncheon because she didn't want Caroline to be there and Caroline didn't want to be there.
TERESA
Gia gets the show at Fashion Week!! She tells Joe about the modeling gig and he could NOT be less interested. He's chopping garlic and making noise as Teresa is trying to tell him about it. HAHA. Teresa tells Gia and she SCREAMS! Oy.
DANIELLE
Danielle arrives at her luncheon to "honor Christine." All of Danielle's friends start to arrive, including Kim "D" (who you will remember denied being her friend at Caroline's party). Danielle thanks everyone for coming and gives everyone a copy of the magazine which includes the picture she took with Christine. UGH. Christine interviews that Danielle's luncheon was not for Christine. It was so that Danielle could show off and brag to her friends. Exactly. Sad.
Danielle announces to her 12 or so friends that the two empty chairs were for Jacqueline and Dina who decided not to show up and support her. Awkward. Dina interviews that she doesn't understand why she had a chair for her because she told her ahead of time that she was not going to be there. So did Jacqueline. Drama!! I'm with Jacqueline's husband...cut the drama out of your life. Danielle tells everyone that Jacqueline's husband prefers that she not attend gatherings if Danielle will be there. WHY?? Why would you tells everyone these details?? Seriously? It just makes you look crazier. OMG. Stop talking about it.
Danielle tells another Kim that she was made painfully aware that she and Caroline were friends. Kim tells her that her son is friends with Caroline's son, Chris, but she and Caroline are not friends. This is not Kim "D" by the way. Danielle tells her that she just doesn't want to make her feel like she's in the middle. I'm embarrassed for Danielle. Danielle says that she keeps all of her friends very close to her. Wait until she sees the footage of Kim "D" trashing her.
See you next week.
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