"Stay on Message"
BETHENNY
Bethenny is sitting with her assistant, Julie, and discovers that Perez Hilton (!!) has announced her pregnancy. How did he KNOW?!?! Bethenny freaks out and by that I mean she repeats everything she says twice. "What am I going to do? What am I going to do? ... How does he know? How does he know? ... This is like beyond. This is like beyond. This is cruel. Like this is cruel." I love Bethenny, but this was kind of amusing. I understand her frustration, though. Particularly at her age, you need to wait until AT LEAST 3 months before letting that information out. Anything could happen. She calls Jason and cryptically tells him to come over as soon as he can. She knows he's going to flip out because he wanted to wait 3 months and take his parents to dinner and tell them.
LUANN
Luann and her obnoxious Burberry wool coat go to Sonja's house to check it out for the cocktail party Luann is throwing on Thursday. By the way, Sonja is pronounced "Sahnya" for those of you who aren't as pretentious as Luann and might not know that. Sonja, being equally as pretentious as Luann, tells Luann (and the cameras) - no less than 3 times - that she is on her own and it's the maid's day off. She's holding two coffee cups but confesses that she went out and bought the coffee because she doesn't have "help" today. Seriously? Are you that dependent and inept that you can't even make coffee without "help"? I don't drink coffee, so I don't even own a coffee maker. I may actually go out and get coffee for a friend who does drink it, but it would be in a Starbuck's cup.
They go out into the garden which Sonja has made more casual. The housekeeper isn't here today - AGAIN - so there are dog poops everywhere. Gross. Luann takes this opportunity to speak French unnecessarily. Jill calls and Luann picks up and puts her on speaker phone. Luann asks Jill to invite some friends for the cocktail party and Jill tells her to send her an Evite that she can forward onto people. Luann says she sent an Evite and Jill says that she could tell Luann didn't put much thought into it. HA.
Jill tells Luann and SAHNya that she just got a Google Alert telling her that Bethenny is pregnant. Luann and Sonja proceed to have a conversation about Google Alerts. Then they start talking about all the clues that Bethenny was pregnant: the little pooch, her huge boobs, the bitchiness. Jill says that Luann and Sonja are out-yenta-ing her by talking so much. Jill assumes that Bethenny is the one who leaked the pregnancy and now Jill is concerned that she has leaked it too early. Why would Bethenny leak this?? Dumb.
Jill says that it's too early to say anything. Then they talk about her little pooch that had never been there before. Sonja brings it back to her and how she always has a pooch, so she would never ask Bethenny if she was pregnant. Luann informs them that "one never asks" because it's not proper. Then Luann and Sonya talk about how Bethenny blocked Luann from Twitter. OH GOOD LORD. Jill says that OBVIOUSLY she got engaged just because she's pregnant. These women really have nothing better to do. They all need hobbies.
BETHENNY
Jason comes over and she tells him that her pregnancy is all over the internet. Jason is so sweet and cute. He wanted to tell his parents in person and see them hug and hold her, but now he can't do that. Bethenny tells him to ask his parents to come to the city tonight. Jason says that he's not going to inconvenience them. He tells her not to yell at him and that he's entitled to feel angry. Bethenny is afraid that Jason won't want to be with her anymore because her life is so public. He reassures her and just explains that it's a shock. It's a lot to take in. He's a really great guy.
JILL
Jill meets with Jennifer Gilbert, President of Save the Date which I'm guessing is a party planning business. I hear Jennifer Gilbert will also be a new housewife!! Interesting. Jill decides she wants to throw a Holiday Party next year and wants it to be spectacular. So she asks Jennifer to help her plan it. Jill tells Jennifer she wants to have an ice skating party and that she's "friendly" with Donald Trump, so she wants to use his ice rink. Poor Jennifer can't get a word in. Jill is just talking and talking and talking. She wants pigs in a blanket, chicken fingers for the kids, lamb chops for her stupid dog. SHUT UP!
SONJA
Sonja takes Ramona with her to see her plastic surgeon. She wants to get rid of her "pooch". Ramona tells her she's crazy and should just work out a little more, but Sonja isn't as "driven" as Ramona and she'd rather just go to her surgeon. She shows him her tummy and he tells her what he will do. Sonja brought Ramona to ask all the questions. He shows some before and after photos to Sonja and Ramona. Ramona takes her role as investigator very seriously, so she starts asking the hard questions. She asks the doctor at which hospitals he has privileges. NONE. She asks if he's a member of reputable organizations. NO ANSWER. Then she asks when was the last time he was board certified. UH. UM. What's the date/year? 1973. Sonja likes him and trusts him and doesn't care what Ramona thinks.
BETHENNY
Bethenny calls Alex and tells her about her pregnancy. She tells Alex that she's going to announce it now that it's been leaked. Then she tells Alex that JILL sent her an email telling Bethenny how she should handle it. AND, that she has already told the press that it's just a rumor "to help her out". Bethenny wants to know why Jill is talking to the press. Good question. AND, she wants to know why all of a sudden Jill gives a shit. Last week she told Bethenny that they were done and now she's giving her "friendly" advice. Weak. Bethenny says she doesn't do that.
Ramona is having a party to launch her beauty care line and all the housewives are going. Bethenny is NOT going, but she tells Alex that if she sees Jill and it's the right time, Alex is free to tell her "Bethenny's done." Alex takes this as an order and says she will do this. I don't think that was Bethenny's intention.
JILL
A local news station called Jill and Bobby to have HIM come talk about Zarin Fabrics. Jill keeps telling him that this is all about him and that it's his company, his day. Yeah. Jill is freaking out that she forgot to Twitter. SHUT UP! The interview starts and Bobby is going too slow for Jill, so she interrupts and takes OVER. She just shuts him out, sells the company and it's over.
SONJA
Sonja is meeting with her Psychic/Medium, Roberta. OMG. Where do I begin? Seriously, these people have entirely too much money and time on their hands. A PSYCHIC?? Who are these people? Can we talk about the psychic for a moment? Roberta is missing TEETH. Not missing a tooth - which is bad enough - but TEETH. As in many! Where the hell did Sonja find this woman and why did she hire her? Maybe she's a relative and Sonja is supporting her. I don't even know. She's there today to tell Sonja that she's making the right decision about having the liposuction on her tummy. WTF?? I don't know ANYONE like this. Who does this? Oh, and by the way, the drink in front of Roberta is NOT water. It's brownish and in a short old-fashioned glass in which one would normally serve Whiskey, Scotch, Brandy, etc. Ok, so maybe it's her toothless, alcoholic relative. They're sitting in a sitting room with a HUGE portrait of Sonja with her DOG. I...I....I just need to move on. This scene has too much.
Sonja tells us that being divorced has been a shock for her. She misses her "team" - drivers, baby nurses, gardeners, maids, cooks, security, etc. You know, all those things that one needs to run 5 houses. Right? OMG. This is ridiculous. You don't need you're team because you don't have 5 houses anymore!!
RAMONA
She's at her big skin care launching. She's excited for everyone to come. Jill arrives and she's just negative Nelly the whole time. She bitches that Ramona is mean to her so I guess it's Jill's turn to be mean back. First, the brochure. Jill says that she's being the bigger person by doing the right thing. But she just keeps going off. Next, it's that EVERYONE has a skincare line so it was a stupid move on Ramona's part. THEN, she says that the skincare line is all about health and she's serving the most unhealthy food imaginable at this event. Way to take the high road, Jill. HAHA.
A delivery arrives for Ramona from Bethenny. She says Congratulations and in 7 months she can enjoy the wine with Ramona. Jill whines that Bethenny didn't call her to tell her she was pregnant. Alex says that Bethenny called her. Jill tells us that she doesn't even know Bethenny anymore and that her life is so public because she "announced" her pregnancy through a message to Ramona. Dumb. That doesn't make it public. Besides it was already out.
Alex starts talking and that's when everything goes downhill. She makes a HUGE deal about how she PROMISED Bethenny she would deliver a message to Jill in front of all the girls. SO dumb. She keeps making it this huge thing. She should not have said ANYTHING and let Bethenny do it. BUT, if she wanted to tell Jill, she should have done it quietly and alone. She FINALLY tells Jill that Bethenny never wants to see her again and that they are DONE. Jill and Luann leave and Jill is totally upset. She doesn't understand why Alex would humiliate her like that. I hear that. It was totally inappropriate. Ramona agrees.
BETHENNY
Alex comes over to Bethenny's place and tells her about the message delivery. Bethenny is SHOCKED. She can't believe Alex did that. Alex admits that it was more about her than Bethenny. Alex took the "message" as her opportunity to just stand up to Jill.
See you next time!
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