"The Elephant in the Room"
KRISTIN
Kristin and Brody are hanging out on the beach. Sponge Bob and Real Doll are throwing a birthday party for their neighbor, little Enzo. They comment on how weird it is that Real Doll is throwing their 6 year old neighbor a party. Yeah, that's really weird. Kristin brings up Audrina and Brody gets quiet. She tells him that she thinks Audrina and Ryan Cabrera are more serious than they let on. Brody is not happy to hear that and Kristin is a little bummed that he's disappointed. Wah-wah.
REAL DOLL
Real Doll is planning Enzo's 7th birthday with the party planner, Lisa, and talks to her about having animals and wizards. Sponge Bob - who I may need to rename later on - asks Real Doll what is going on. She tells him that she's planning Enzo's party and Sponge Bob says that he thought it was something small, not something that required a party planner. Then Real Doll says that she's sure Sponge Bob's mom threw him big parties when he was a little boy. Sponge Bob says the only smart thing this season: "Key word is MOM! His mom lives down the street." Seriously. WTF is Real Doll doing?
BRODY
Brody, Frankie and Taylor are at some auto shop drooling over Brody's new car. Well, it's a classic, but I'm not sure what model/year. Taylor comments that Kristin will look great in the passenger seat and Brody says "been there, done that." He loves Kristin but he's not interested.
LUCKY STRIKE, LA
It's time to go bowling. Brody, Frankie, Charlie, Audrina, Ryan Cabrera, Kristin, and, of course, Stacie the Bartender are all bowling. Audrina and Ryan Cabrera talk about how Brody has a crush on her. Ryan Cabrera is clearly uncomfortable around Brody, so they leave. I can't tell if Kristin is annoyed that they left or not. Weird.
THE PRATTS
HOLY OUT OF CONTROL PARTY! Ok, Real Doll is nuts. She went way overboard with this kid's birthday. HE'S NOT YOUR SON!!! I'd be worried if I was his mother. Creepy. She's got a bounce house, goats, food, clowns and A FREAKING ELEPHANT. I'm not even kidding. She and Enzo are riding an elephant IN HER BACK YARD. I apologize for all the yelling, I'm just totally in shock right now. This is ridiculous. I'm thoroughly convinced that Sponge Bob and Real Doll are on some serious drugs. This is not normal behavior. Brody, Taylor, Charlie and Frankie are standing around tripping on the fact that there is an elephant in the yard. HAHA. Me too!
AUDRINA & KRISTIN
These ladies are bff now, I guess. They are shoe shopping and chatting. Kristin asks Audrina what the deal is with her and Ryan Cabrera. Audrina tells her that she felt an instant connection with him and that it was just natural. Kristin encourages Audrina to lock it down and have "the talk" with him and hopefully, he will commit to her. Kristin just wants to eliminate Audrina as competition for her with Brody. Then they discuss whether or not to attend Enzo's party. They think Sponge Bob has lost it and there's nothing they can do. They can't reach out to Real Doll because Sponge Bob controls her and is always around.
THE PRATTS
Wow. Sponge Bob has LOST HIS SHIT. First he says that this is the most fun he's had at a party in a long time because he doesn't want to murder anyone. Then he says he's going to send some kid who is shooting a toy gun out to Colorado to shoot Real Doll's mom because she "emotionally raped" Real Doll when she went out to visit. I cannot believe Real Doll is just sitting there while Sponge Bob goes on his rant. He's insane and she's so heavily medicated. These two are headed to a really dark place ... and soon.
Real Doll steps in and says that her mom was totally selfish and not concerned about Real Doll at all. Holly jumps in and says that their mom was concerned and loves Real Doll and was just taken off guard by all that was done. Sponge Bob jumps in and tells Holly that if she continues to defend "Darlene," he's going to ask her to leave. He seriously has lost his shit. Real Doll keeps telling him to take a breath. But Sponge Bob needs to take a tranquilizer. I don't think "a breath" is going to cut it. Frankie and Brody are embarrassed and look horrified at Sponge Bob. Holly comments that she needs a drink. Sponge Bob looks like he's about to go postal on someone. And Real Doll has lost the ability to have an expression.
AUDRINA
Audrina and Ryan Cabrera are having dinner. He tells her that he feels weird about Brody and the way he acts towards him. Ryan Cabrera doesn't want any drama. She asks Ryan Cabrera if they are exclusive and he asks her if she thought that they weren't. She said she kind of knew it already. Ryan Cabrera tells her that the moment they started hanging out, he didn't even want to look at another girl. She tells him that she is really happy and they hug and kiss. As much as I can't stand Ryan Cabrera, I'm actually glad Audrina is finally happy with a guy. (Notice that I'm not calling her Ceiling Eyes anymore. If she starts going back to being a dumbass, the nickname will return).
KRISTIN
She meets up with Brody for drinks. He gives her a recap of Enzo's birthday party and how awkward it was and how crazy Sponge Bob was. It's weird that Brody and Kristin introduced Real Doll and Sponge Bob. And now look at them....they got married and turned psycho. Kristin asks Brody if he hooked up with Audrina. Then she immediately says that she doesn't care. Which is a lie. She obviously cares or she wouldn't ask. Then Brody says "Ryan Cabrera? Really?" Which was my initial reaction. But now that I've seen them together and how happy they are, I've accepted it. I still think his head is almost as big as Audrina's torso, but whatever makes her happy. It's not like he's rich or anything, so she must actually like him. Not my type, but like I said, whatever makes her happy.
THE PRATTS
Holly is visiting with Real Doll. Real Doll asks if Holly is ok and Holly tells her that she was shocked by some of the things Sponge Bob was saying at the party. Before Real Doll can answer, Sponge Bob comes into the room and interrupts them. Real Doll looks so sedated and has no expression whatsoever. Holly thinks that she can talk calmly with Sponge Bob like an adult and that he will be able to remain calm. She is wrong. She begins by saying that she thought he had enough respect for her by now to refrain from speaking negatively about her mom in front of her. Sponge Bob takes a deep breath and tells her he was proud of himself for not saying and doing what he really wanted to do to Holly at the party. He was praying - like he does everyday - that he would not do what he really wanted to do. Yikes. Way to threaten your sister-in-law.
Sponge Bob says that their mom is just the "vagina that they came out of" and nothing more. Holly yells that he's disrespectful and the bible says to honor thy mother and father. So he should practice what he preaches. Sponge Bob says that he's not in bible school and Holly says that they are always preaching to her, so they should take their own advice. Sponge Bob loses it and tells Holly that she's not Real Doll's sister or friend. He tells her she's a LIAR and then walks out of the house and slams the door. Real Doll is shouting at him to calm down and that he's out of line. When he leaves Holly starts crying and tells Real Doll that she's scared of him and that he's always around and she doesn't even have Real Doll's number. The entire time, Real Doll has NO EXPRESSION. She says she doesn't want to deal with this anymore. As I look at Real Doll, I'm noticing that her eyes are kind of messed up. Like one eye is bigger than the other. There's something off about her eyes.
As Holly leaves the house, Sponge Bob yells "Just so we're clear, you're not welcome here anymore. Next time, I'll call the police." CRAZY. He's on some serious drugs. Real Doll is just sedated and on pain meds and has no expressions anymore. Sponge is just doing some serious prescription pills. He's lost it.
THIS JUST IN: Further evidence that the Pratts are the king and queen of Crazytown, USA: Real Doll called the cops on her MOTHER when she came to their home unannounced today!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment