"A New Bird"
KRISTIN
Brody and Kristin are having dinner and drinks. Kristin brings up Audrina (again!!) and tells Brody how happy she is with Ryan Cabrera. Brody says that Ryan Cabrera is growing on him and he thinks he's pretty cool for a has-been one-hit wonder. :) Brody wants to make it clear that he and Kristin can date other people because he knows that Kristin is a chick and wants a relationship even though she tells him she LOVES being single. He tells Kristin that he has a date and Kristin pretends to be cool with it. Oh jeez...here we go.
AUDRINA
Ryan Cabrera and Audrina are hanging out at her place. She tells him that her friends are planning night out and she tells him to come and give her friends another chance. Ryan Cabrera doesn't want the "drama" and thinks he's too cool for school and declines the invitation. He tells Audrina he'll be waiting at home in his "candy thong reading 'Catcher in the Rye'." Oh Ryan Cabrera, you are NO Holden Caulfield.
SHE-PRATT/LO
She-Pratt tells Lo that she's ready for a relationship. She says that she's doing the AA thing and feeling good about saying 'Sayonara" to the Pratts, so she's ready now. Lo tells her that her bf, Scott, has a friend, Max, who would be PERFECT. Then She-Pratt backpedals and says that guys are going to think she's weird because she's 23 and SOBER. Lo is awesome and says that any guy who thinks it's "weird" or freaks out because she doesn't drink is NOT the guy for her.
KRISTIN/AUDRINA
The new bff's are drinking screw top white wine and eating popcorn. Of course, the convo turns to Brody. UGH. New material, please, writers. Kristin tells Audrina that they aren't together but they have added benefits to their friend status. Audrina tells her to be careful because Brody is a FLIRT and will make you feel super special one minute and then be with someone else the next minute. Kristin decides that it would be a great idea to call Brody...right now. While she has company. Good idea, Kristin. Brody ignores her call because he is with someone and it's RUDE TO GET ON THE PHONE WHEN YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH SOMEONE. Jeez. Kristin needs some serious cellphone etiquette. Kristin bitches that Brody's phone went straight to voicemail for the THIRD time today. YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND. Why is this so hard to understand?? This is why girls get such a bad rap for being psycho. He could not have been clearer about the fact that he's dating and doesn't want a girlfriend. Ugh.
BRODY
Meanwhile, Brody is on a date with McKaela who spells her name wrong. I hate it when people don't know how to spell their names. It's M-I-C-H-A-E-L-A...or something like that. I don't know, it's not my name. But I DO know that it's certainly not spelled McKaela. Anyhow, she is seriously Lauren Conrad's brunette, brown-eyed doppelganger. She looks like a dark version of LC. Well, Brody certainly has a type. :) Brody tells McKaela that Kristin - his ex girlfriend - was calling him and that they are good friends. McKaela looks skeptical and they toast to meeting new people. Then Brody calls her McKenna. I'm serious. I listened to it several times. Does he really not know her name? They flirt a little more and then take off together to do dirty things, I'm sure.
BRODY
Charlie and Brody are playing some golf and talking about chicks. Brody tells Charlie that he told Kristin about McKaela and she got all quiet. Charlie tells him that the girls are a hard group to infiltrate so he hopes McKaela can handle it. Brody says he's not keeping her away just because the girls are tough on new people. Brody asks why guys can't just hook up with their friends and date other people. Charlie says you can and it's called "casual dating." I agree, Charlie. Unfortunately, it never works. If you're straight with the girl, she'll tell you to your face that she "totally agrees" but then get super jealous and pissed. If you don't have the convo with the girl, you're a douchebag if you date other girls because the assumption is that you're exclusive - even though the girl would never admit that. It's a no-win situation. You just have to be a dick and hook up and not call and jam out of there in the morning.
SHE-PRATT/AUDRINA
It may be time to let She-Pratt be Stephanie. I'm not quite ready to make that leap just yet, but maybe next time. She's certainly improved since past seasons. She and Audrina are having some tea and chit chat. Audrina has convinced Ryan Cabrera to come out tonight with everyone and She-Pratt says she's glad Ryan Cabrera let her come over to visit. I guess Audrina has been spending every waking minute with her new bf and has been MIA. She-Pratt tells her that Lo is setting her up on a date with one of Scott's friends. Even though she went on and on to Lo about how ready she was to date, she tells Audrina that she's totally not ready. She's insecure about being sober at 23 AND about her estrangement with her crazy brother and his plastic wife. Get over it already. I'd be more worried about being a drunk who hangs out with the Pratts. She tells Audrina that Max is a professional lacrosse player with Scott, but she doesn't really know what that is. Oy!
JANE'S HOUSE (club)
The gang shows up at the club and Brody and McKaela are hanging out. The girls are all confused because they thought Brody and Kristin were together. UGH. Now, while I think the girls are being dumb and making way too much of everything, I also think Brody is an instigator. He loves the drama and totally brings it on! He's all over McKaela and holds her hand. Then when Kristin and Stacie the Bartender come in, he makes a LOUD comment to Kristin about not being very sincere when she says hello to McKaela. WTF? I think both were wrong at this outing. Grow up, people. Kristin goes over to the girls and they are all huddled and talking shit about Brody. So, Brody gets up and he and McKaela leave...but not without calling Kristin out for not being nice to McKaela. Awkward. Kristin gets defensive and the scene is just embarrassing to watch.
KRISTIN
Kristin bitches the next day to Stacie the Bartender. Stacie the Bartender actually makes some good points and tells Kristin that she shouldn't be surprised. She knew what she was getting into with Brody. But then she tells Kristin to talk to Brody. Um, what? I don't know about that.
SHE-PRATT/LO
She-Pratt is getting ready for the double date and she has some AMAZING shoes!! I wants her closet. The boys arrive and Lo lets them in. Max is adorable. She-Pratt walks out and has a total short circuit. Scott asks her if she's been to the W in Westwood and she just stares straight ahead. Weird-o. She snaps back and then acts like they are the ones who are being weird. Great first impression, She-Pratt. Can I just comment on the fashion in this scene for a moment? Lo and She-Pratt are dressed like they are about to attend a premiere. They have dresses on and look amazing. Their shoes are at least 4 inches high and their hair and make-up is completely done. Scott, Lo's bf, is wearing a flannel shirt (circa 1992) and jeans. And Max is wearing a T-shirt and a V-neck sweater (not bad) with a HOODIE! I shit you not. WTF? I mean, really? That's the best you could do?
They arrive at their table at the W and everyone orders an adult beverage and She-Pratt orders a Coke and ... wait for it ... nothing happens. No one freaks out or acts weird. I have to admit, even though I love Lo, in this scene, she's annoying. We get it. It's a set up. But you don't have to constantly remind them that you're setting them up. It's just weird. Lo and Scott are staring at Max and She-Pratt and making comments about how perfect they are together. Ew. It's weird. Lo excuses herself to the ladies' room and She-Pratt joins her. She-Pratt says that she likes Max and thinks he's super cute. BUT she wishes he was older. WTF? He's 24 and you are 23, She-Pratt. I'm so glad I didn't switch back to "Stephanie" yet. She's totally being a She-Pratt right now. Lo tells her to get over herself and forget about his stupid age.
After dinner, they walk outside and Max offers She-Pratt his ... HOODIE. Then he asks her if she wants to do this again without Lo and Scott. She says yes and gives him her digits. Cute. :)
KRISTIN
Kristin comes over to Brody's place to bitch at him and flip out. She starts in and Brody says that he's allowed to like whoever he wants and he likes McKaela and he likes Kristin. Kristin tells him that he has to choose because she's not going to wait around forever. Brody and I are both confused and he says that he and Kristin are friends and he thought they had an understanding about dating other people. Yeah, so did I! Kristin tells him to shut up. Nice. Then she says something that I can actually understand. She says dating other people is one thing, but bringing that other person around and totally being all over that person in front of her is another story. It's rude and disrespectful. I agree with that. The problem is that it's going to get worse because Kristin is NOT ok with Brody dating other people but she wants to save face and won't admit that. Even though it's totally obvious. Brody just needs to remove the "benefits" and just stick to being friends with Kristin.
Kristin says she's sorry for not being nice to Brody's "new little girlfriend" and then they start talking over one another. Kristin is being crazy and defensive and Brody is insisting that McKaela is not his girlfriend. Kristin totally freaks out, yells at Brody and then storms out of his condo. Jeez. Crazy.
Brody: "We're friends, Kristin. Remember that."
Kristin: "Shut up." SLAM.
HAHAHA. See you next week.
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