Last time: The dinner party drama continued, Tamra got sad about overspending and now needing to sell the house, Lynne set a horrible example for her daughters and encouraged plastic surgery.
GRETCHEN
Gretchen and Slade are at the Valley Ho Hotel in Scottsdale, AZ. They are there to attend a big birthday celebration for Gretchen's friend, Kelly. Tamra interviews that 2 weeks after Jeff died, Slade moved in with Gretchen. Slade tells Gretchen that he loves her and she says she loves him, too. And he says even though he's poor. Gretchen says that they are not poor, they just need to make smart financial decisions right now. Slade is so slimy looking. Gretchen tells Slade that she used to be super thrifty, but then she met Jeff and he totally spoiled her. Gretchen tells us that Slade jokes about being poor because he IS poor!! HAHA. Wow. No wonder he keeps banging housewives. Gretchen has cash and a HOUSE from Jeff, so Slade can live off of her for awhile. Yikes. Slade tells Gretchen that he realizes that spending time with Gretchen and his family far outweighs money. Yes, well, that's because you don't have any!! He tells Gretchen that he wants to marry her and have kids with her...as the camera zooms in on her ENGAGEMENT RING FROM JEFF!!! Then she reminds him that she wants 4 kids and Slade says he's good with that. Um, if you're poor, you can't afford FOUR MORE KIDS, Slade.
JEANNA
Tamra decides to stop by Jeanna's house. Tamra is hosting a high end event at La Perla and she hasn't heard from Jeanna whether or not she's coming. Jeanna tells Tamra that she doesn't need any lingeree and that she can't handle all the drama with the girls. It's clear Jeanna doesn't want to spend time with the housewives anymore. She tells Tamra that she's got houses to show and that all her kids are home, so she's making dinner. AND, she says that Matt is home, too. Jeanna says that he got his second DUI and, if he gets jail time, he'll probably blame her. Um, why is he staying at the house?? Aren't they divorced? WTF? Jeanna is like a battered wife. Matt is so verbally and emotionally abusive. Jeanna says their divorce will be final in about a month, but they have so many properties that it complicates matters. Tamra says that Jeanna told her she was dating so how does that work with Matt in the house. Jeanna says that it's AWKWARD. Ya think?
Jeanna asks Tamra about her and Gretchen. Tamra says that Gretchen just needs to tell her that Tamra was right and things would be fine. Jeanna says that maybe Gretchen did really love Jeff. Tamra says that it wasn't about that, it's that Gretchen is a pathological liar. Jeanna interviews that Tamra needs to apologize because she had no right to question or judge another person's relationship. Tamra is upset that Jeanna thinks she needs to apologize. Tamra interviews that Jeanna says she doesn't want the drama anymore, but she's the one who creates most of it. Tamra: "Jeanna's the girl who will fart in a room and turn around and say 'who did that?'" HAHA. You can take Tamra out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of Tamra.
NEW HOUSEWIFE ALEXIS
Alexis tells us she and her husband, Jim, have been married for 4 years. They wanted a very structured marriage where GOD was first, marriage was second and kids were third. They have 20 month old twins, Melania and MacKenna, and a 3 year old named James. She's a stay at home mom with TWO NANNIES. Good Lord. Her goal is to be the best wife and mom she can be. I'm sure that's easy to do with TWO NANNIES for THREE KIDS. Obnoxious. Jim says that God is #1 in their lives. It's so funny to hear such materialistic people talk about how important God is in their lives and with such a straight botoxed face. HAHA. Jim is a "business man". He buys businesses and then sells them after they make him $$. Jim is giving Alexis a hard time for allowing their 3 year old to come and sleep in their bed in the middle of the night. It forces Jim to go sleep in James' bed and he thinks James is "working" Alexis. Alexis tries to defend herself and Jim asks her why she is talking so loudly. He says that she talks loud and people stare at them. So, she lowers her voice and asks if it's better. WTF? Her wedding ring is the most gawdy piece of jewelry. It's ENORMOUS and completely ridiculous. She's also way high maintenance with food. She orders a Cadillac Margherita ... with Patron Silver, a little bit of Grand Marnier, two fresh limes squeezed in it with soda water and only salt on part of the rim. GOOD LORD. Are you f-ing kiddig me?? TOO MUCH. Everything about this couple is just TOO MUCH.
VICKI
Jeanna comes over to visit Vicki. Jeanna says that she went to Kara's initiation or whatever it's called for her sorority, Kappa Kappa Gamma. I will refrain from saying anything negative about the Kappa's at UCLA because I had several friends in that sorority when I was at UCLA and they are all wonderful and amazing girls. Jeanna says that all the girls in Kappa are beautiful so Kara doesn't have any ugly friends, which is upsetting because "everyone needs an ugly friend." Wow. Jeanna says that she called Tamra to ask if Vicki was mad at her because Vicki never talks to Jeanna anymore. Vicki tells Jeanna that it's weird to call Tamra and that she should just call Vicki. Calling Tamra is "high school shit". Agreed. Vicki said that she felt that there was weirdness between her and Jeanna so she just backed away for a bit. Vicki interviews that things have been awkward with her and Jeanna. She and Jeanna had some business dealings that didn't go well and she never felt that Jeanna had her back. Vicki says that Jeanna is toxic and decided not to have Jeanna in her life as much anymore. I think that's fair. She's nice to Jeanna but she doesn't need to be friends with her. I have people like that in my life. I totally get it.
Jeanna says that she's not going to the La Perla event and Vicki pretends to care. Jeanna says that she's not as close to Vicki as she used to be because Vicki is not very sensitive to people's "problems". Read: Vicki didn't loan her $$. Jeanna asks Vicki to tell her if anyone talks shit about her. Vicki interviews that she thinks Jeanna needs to get her house in order. She says that a lot of things Jeanna did were mean and hurtful and Vicki is DONE.
GRETCHEN
Gretchen tells Slade that she's excited for him to meet her new friend, Kelly. Slade asks how they met and she tells him it was at a charity event. Oh no...is Gretchen in some D-List celebrity Junior League??? Gretchen tells Slade that Kelly and her husband own "Barcelona" which is where they are going tonight. They walk into the party and the theme is "Pink & White" so Gretchen is in a hot pink dress and Slade is wearing a pink shirt. Gretchen runs up to Kelly (who is in a white poofy dress) and the girls scream when they see each other. There are burlesque dancers, pole dancers and all types of half naked dancers around the party and, of course, Cosmos. Gretchen says that it's fun to go to these extravagant events because - considering their financial situation - they don't know when they'll get to do this again. Gretchen and Slade are totally making out on the dance floor. She's STILL wearing the engagement ring. Gretchen gets drunk and starts pole dancing. Gretchen tells us that Slade loved it because she "got some lovin'" later. Gross.
The next day, they are both hungover. They start talking shit about Vicki and Tamra. Slade says they are jealous and he doesn't like them. He calls Tamra "Two Faced Barney" and Vicki "Ficky" because she's fake and she's icky. Slade is like a chick...seriously, I can't imagine any guy I've ever dated or am dating now ever talking like that about my friends or people we know. Or even just shit talking with me for that matter. Slade LOVES the drama. Slade says that Tamra talks shit about Gretchen because she's trying to make herself feel better about herself.
TAMRA
Tamra is cleaning her house and getting ready for Jim and Alexis to come over. Simon asks Tamra if she liked Jim and Alexis. She says she does and that they remind her of her and Simon. Simon says that Tamra is way better looking. I agree. Instead of thanking her husband for the sweet compliment, she tells him to shut up and says that doesn't matter. Because NOW it's what's inside that really counts, Tamra? Hello? Look in the mirror!!
Jim, Alexis, their kids and A NANNY come over. Alexis is in a RIDICULOUS dress with her fake boobs hanging out and she's wearing a stupid fedora. Alexis tells us that having three kids this age is a huge headache so they take a nanny pretty much everywhere. Because it's way too hard for two parents to take care of their 3 kids when they are trying to look hot in front of everyone else. They are the perfect example of people who had kids for the Christmas card. Tamra says she's having serious jealousy issues re: Alexis. I'm not sure why. Yes, Alexis is tall and skinny with huge fake boobs. But, she's a total "butter face"... You know? Hot body, but her face (cringe). Tamra is shorter, but still skinny and has big boobs AND she's really pretty. I mean, really? Who cares? Jim is gross and Simon is a dick but he's cute. Apparently, Alexis' ring is 18 carats. These people have too much money. They are all inside Tamra's kitchen eating and Simon and Tamra start bickering. Tamra says it's frustrating to see a couple in a great relationship.
LYNNE
Lynne has the UGLIEST house from the outside. It looks like a 1960's apartment complex. Thank GOD they are moving. Alexa tells us that the family relationship is going downhill. She says that everyone is so busy except for her. She's always home alone...ALWAYS. Lynne tells us that they had been leasing the house and their lease is up so it's the perfect time to downsize. Lynne says that Frank's construction business has done really badly these past couple of years. Frank tells us that he made some really poor real estate investments, also. Lynne's business is keeping them afloat, but it's been hard.
ALEXIS
Gretchen and Alexis have a mutual friend so they've known each other for about a year. They are at the gym together and go to a spinning class. I love spinning class. Jim loves that Alexis works out...you know, so he doesn't have to worry about growing old with a frumpy wife. What about you, Alexis??? Your husband is already frumpy, but you still love him. Shouldn't he just love YOU no matter what? I guess not. Alexis tells Gretchen that she does spinning once a week. She can't do it more because she doesn't have time...she does "bar class" one day, weights one day, running one day. Hmmm...what about KIDS?? Oh right, two nannies.
Gretchen tells Alexis that she's bringing Slade to the La Perla event and Alexis says she's bringing Jim. Gretchen asks if Alexis has met any of the other girls, yet. Alexis says that she's met Tamra but that's it. Gretchen starts talking smack about Vicki and Alexis interviews that she's nervous about meeting Vicki.
JEANNA
Jeanna and Kara are having lunch. Jeanna interviews that she doesn't need to spoil her kids with money because she spoils them with time - something they didn't get when she was working like crazy. Kara asks her mom if she'd want to get married again. Then Kara says that she likes the thought of her mom getting married again. WOW. That's not one you hear too often. Kara interviews that she just wants to be in a wedding. Oh jeez. Kara thinks that Shane will never get married because he's 23 years old and he's never said "I love you" to a woman. Um...is that the criteria?? Really? Kara says she's been in love 57 times. That's infatuation and lust, Kara...not love. Oh and serious "daddy" issues.
LA PERLA EVENT
A bunch of models are walking around in lingeree. Gretchen tells us that she loves going to private parties because it makes her feel really special. She goes and starts trying stuff on for Slade. Eww. Tamra, Simon, Alexis and Jim show up and Slade tells Gretchen he heard Tamra's obnoxious cackle. Lynne decided to bring Alexa because going to La Perla seemed like a good mother-daughter thing to do. Lynne and Alexa meet Jim and AlexIS. Lynne is full of compliments and then tells them that she and her daughter are there to buy a bikini. She proceeds to tell them that she and Alexa are the same size so they can share clothes. Why would a 45 year old woman want to "share clothes" with her 17 year old daughter?? People in the OC are f-ing crazy. Alexis says she can't wait to do that with her daughters. Lynne can't believe she had twins and asks if she had a surrogate.
Someone asks Alexis if she's going to try anything on and she says no. JIM tells us that it's not their "reality" for Alexis to try on Lingeree in a store and come out with it on while there are other men in the store. Tamra asks why Jim doesn't go into the dressing room with Alexis while she tries stuff on. Alexis agrees, but it's clear, Jim makes those decisions for them. It's kind of funny because they are holier than thou about lingeree and people seeing her in that, but she was parading herself around in a string bikini at Tamra's house and apparently that was acceptable. Alexis tells us that she likes to be sexy...I mean, she is only 32. All the girls are in the dressing room trying stuff on (except for Sister Alexis). Gretchen and Tamra are in dressing rooms next to each other and they both peek out at the same time and see each other. Tamra interviews that she doesn't want to fight anymore. They decide to play nice so there isn't drama everytime they are around each other. Uh-oh, what is BRAVO going to think about that?
JEANNA
Jeanna is home with all of her kids. Kara and Shane are in LA and Colton is finishing high school, but they are all home with Jeanna this weekend. She's really happy to have them all at home. Kara tells her family that she got 3 As and a B in summer school. Colton asks what she wants to do after college. Kara: "Make a lot of money." Jeanna asks if they know the difference between a job and a career. Kara says that working at pink taco is a job and Shane says that being a stripper is a career. HA. Kara asks the boys if one of them can be a pro baseball player so she doesn't have to work ever again. Doesn't always work out that way, Kara. Just ask your MOM!!! Kara asks her mom where Vicki is. Jeanna tells her that they don't hang out as much because Vicki is so busy with work. Kara interviews that she's worried that her mom has lost a lot of her friendships. Jeanna interviews that the housewives are all about drama and she can't deal with it anymore.
LA PERLA
Vicki finally shows up to La Perla ... ALONE. Why didn't she bring Don?? Alexis says that everyone warned her about Vicki, but she met her and it was fine. She didn't understand what everyone was talking about. Vicki says that what she's working on this season is being nicer. She's guilty of judging people and she's trying to be better. I like Vicki. Maybe it's because she reminds me a lot of myself. She is opinionated and independant and she "judges" other people who lack ambition and depend on their husbands for EVERYTHING. I understand that. I feel that way, too. But, I definitely think Vicki can be a little extreme in her opinions/judgements. I'm glad she recognizes that and is working on it this season. Good for her. Everyone is getting along and it looked like a fun night. Tamra: "It was a really good night. Everyone got to meet Alexis and Gretchen and I didn't try to kill each other."
JEANNA
Kara asks if Jeanna would ever move to Beverly Hills. I don't think Jeanna would. Jeanna is SO Orange County. She doesn't have all the plastic surgery, but she's obsessed with money and things. Beverly Hills is probably a lot like that, but I don't think Jeanna can afford it. The kids start talking about how much Jeanna has been partying now that she's single. Shane interviews that all the guys she's been dating are fathers of his friends. He likes that because they are familiar and he knows about them...and he knows where they live. Sweet. Kara says she's not spending the night because her brothers have sex in her bed. Gross. Then she asks Shane if he's ever said "I love you" to a girl. He says he's said it to his mom (aahhh) and Kara says "AND ME!". I really like these guys. They have finally matured a little more so they aren't fighting all the time like in the past seasons. They enjoy being together and laugh a lot. Cute. Great, right when they get tolerable, Jeanna quits the show.
Jeanna says she's done with the housewives. She and Vicki used to be friends, but now that friendship is broken and can never be repaired. Then she says that Tamra likes to be the mean girl and she's not down with that. Jeanna admits she was a mean girl to Lynne in the beginning. And Jeanna and Gretchen have always been friends. Jeanna is going to focus on herself. She has no regrets but she's glad this phase of her life is over...for now. Bye, Jeanna.
See you next week.
No comments:
Post a Comment